₦airaland Forum

oyetunji12:
baba u too much

Thanks, we just dey try ni ooo

307) So the most gallant people after our soldiers are our athletes especially those who are first choice in another country but still choose Nigeria.
308) They say there are no shortcuts in life, what about the shortcuts we used to pass in primary school.
309) Can't we pay the same people who make our generators to make power in Nigeria, we already on a subscription model, you have to buy a new gen every year more or less. Now we just pay them every month and we have no saboteurs.

304) I have seen all the Range Rovers, Range Rover gan self no get range.
305) If Magu catches Magun, Is that chicken coming home to Roost?
306) Son- Mummy, who spits better Olamide or MI? Mummy- why are they be spitting, don't they have home training?

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white privilege!

301) If you are white you are single mum, if you are black you are a baby mama.
302) I stood with Paris, I stood for Bagdad, I stood for Aleppo, I beg I wan siddon my leg is paining me.
303) When Cold play plays Russia, are they just called Play?

298)Finally, I can see the ghost writings on my facebook wall.
299) With all this girls always slaying wondering how many people go make it till 2017.
300) I thought I stood for something till I fell for her.

295) Anyone who attends Zahra's wedding will know that recession is just a word.
296) They say where you get to in life depends on who you know, I know Baba God me I go go far.
297) Getting a job is like getting a woman, if you have one it is infinitely easier to get another one. My current girlfriend, no way I go marry her, I think of her more like an internship.

293) Growing up, I was not pampered, I was cloth wrapped.
294) Can't that guy sell some of his beret to pay this girls ni?
295) So, some are saying that our girls are not patriotic, what is more patriotic than representing your country and bringing back the highest medal, Has Buhari being paid? what about the our stupid governors, the senators, what about house of assembly? How much are they being owed, Is there no politician who has stolen more than they are owed and can share some with the girls. Our situation is very similar to the blacks in America, no matter how they are treated, they still call it their country, they still represent their country, they still fight for their country. A common man is treated how a black in America is treated, no difference, a police can shoot you with no consequence, you can have all the grades in the world to get a job is jamb talkless of a good job. #common man lives matter.

290) I am learning how to box, and I am paying this guy 20,000 naira, he comes to my house every thursday and this guy just panel-beat me, am sure some people will do this for free.
291) My brother has resat ICAN so many times if you asked him what he is doing, he will tell you I am doing ICAN'T
292) soft works is the number one reason for divorces in Nigeria.

287) If they say a plus size woman cover magazine, shey na complement or shade?
288) We were so religious growing up, my mama used to make us pray before the meal then before we started eating meat.
289) I no get mind for blood money that is why I did water money.

284) Gentle lady ni mi but I have learnt Karate.
285) I won't let sleeping dog lie, it has to talk true.
286) My Grandfather died last week, as they say different strokes for different folks.

281) Na all this celebrity wan get foundation, is it not better to come together and build one thing than plenty foundations.
282) The stone that was rejected was what David used to kill Goliath.
283) I will hate to be a musician, in the videos you can never please our black women, you have white girls in the video, they start crying- where are the African sisters, you have African sister but light skin, where are the dark skin sisters?, you have dark girls, this is not African culture, our women are not this immoral, wizkid what message are you sending to my daughter?

278) Nigeria is so bad even our witches have relocated to Ghana , they say it is too dark for them to operate.
279) Nigeria is so bad, I heard even Buhari is praying for the change to change.
280) Quick question, can you ban Jagaban?

275) I know there are a lot of Igbos living in Germany, wondering what does German with an igbo accent sound like?
276) The difference between a poor and a rich man shopping, a rich man walks up to a cloth, feels it, might wave over the shop assistant, asks- do you have this in Burgundy?, tries it on, if he likes it takes it to the cashier and pays for it, a poor man will first check the price.
277) Nigerians are not mad that there is corruption, we are just mad that our uncle is not in power.

272) I gat you covered like a cover letter.
273) I am not into tall women, I don't like begging for kisses.
274) I can never marry a virgin, I like to Try before I buy

269) All this unserious girls, all they want to do is twerk and play.
270) If your life is bland, may be you need some flavour.
271) Can someone ask Olamide since he sang the Song "who you epp", who has he actually epped?

266) The worth of a man is not defined by the opulence of his apparels but by the succour he renders to strangers and sojourners.
B. Olamide, 'Who you epp?' YBNL (Lagos 2016)
267) If the gods are not to be blamed, then who should we blame? sha no blame me.
268) As clueless as Buhari. As useless as a winter jacket in Lagos. As juiceless as Seyi Shay's ass.

263) To those who are for gay rights, answer this question, 1 in 8 gays in London have HIV (BBC), 1 in 26 in UK (BBC). Imagine a country with world class medical facilities and high proportion of hiv among gays, what do you think will happen if legalise gay rights with our useless medical facilities and secondly, if there was an African culture where 1 in 8 has HIV, do you think the western countries would support it?
264) I am trying to find a book on subtlety but it is hard.
265) This will be a sign that Nigeria has become a developed country when people's leave their house with no intention of going anywhere but to find a traffic jam to read or just chill out.

260) The truth is the most uncomfortable material on the body.
261) You know I am wearing my contact so I can see your BS.
262) My best friend is studying photography in University, imagine spending 4 million naira just to learn how to press click.

257) With every advert just being a complete lie, why don't they say this before an advert, here is another lie about Nike.
258) If Islam is not bad, how come there is a muslim city that says otherwise.
259) I heard it is so cold in Russia, people are smoking three cigarettes at the same time.

254) So Dj Khaled just want sell key, he no gree show us wetin e dey sell key for, na key for house ni or key for car, common vespa e no show, by the way who key epp? Ask Alicia padlock.
255) Which is more predictable the next song by Yemi Alade, plot in nollywood movie or when next Bubu will fly out?
256) When the Kardashians finished with Bruce Jenner they took off his knob, now they are dealing with Kanye, they added Kraziness. When KK deal with you they either add a K or take a K away from your life.

251) Wetin my eye don see my mouth no fit talk, I don see oyinbo with tribal marks, I don see chinko with dreadlocks, I don see thieves dey pray before operation, God protect us, don't let this be our last operation. Amen.
252) I think the problem with non-payment of tax could be solved by calling tax- smart tax, my people will love to pay smart tax.
253) So I asked this girl what she does, she is a lawyer but she told me she is a professional, really, no be everybody be professional, whether na thief you be as long as you put food for your family from your job, you be professional.

248) The first beef in this world was between Kane and Abel and the crazy thing actually is that Kane was a vegetarian.
249) Someone's neurotic is someone else's great thinker.
250) The child wey no fine will die of natural causes and the one wey fine na instagram go kill am.

245) When Ghanians send their people, they don't send their best, some of them are actors, some are musicians and I guess some are good people.
246) Everyone has a story but nobody cares.
247) Who are these people who love to wear their work id outside work? until I start working for LV or Gucci, Id is only for the workplace.

242) I am not one of those kids that grew up with a trust fund because my daddy had trust issues.
243) Whenever I see a hot black chick with either an ugly white guy, I think white privilege.
244) You know you are fat when you enter a shop and the first thing they say is madam we don't have your size and you go I am looking for bed sheet, they still go we dont have your size.

239) I saw a calabash of sacrifice beside my house, there were M&Ms, a burrito and a bottle of Ciroc, please this is for my future great grandchildren, this is kind of sacrifice I want you to provide for me if you want your prayers answered sharply .
240) Women always say that they want a man that makes her laugh but I never knew 1 million naira was that funny.
241) How can we be in the same class when you don drop out.

236) I don't need a godfather cos I have God the Father.
237) I remember when I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, now I rock diamond cuff links.
238) Make me chief Awodi, I swear I go bring you Turkey and Switzerland.

233) No rest for the wicked and Buhari's supporter.
234) Guys don't forget Tomorrow is Don't Blame Buhari for Your Problem day.
235) Never judge a book by its cover- it is the work of the graphic artist.

230) When I no be monkey, why I go wan live for Banana Island.
231) It was love at first sight, I was a pretentious pxxxck and she was a first class c**t
232) Come 2019, the number one question people are going to ask my flying president is- sir you have now ruled for 4 years, sir can you tell us- who you epp?

227) Is Articulate not whenever Atiku is late?
228) I would like to be an ambassador, you get paid by your country to holiday abroad.
229) Why do people keep lying to themselves saying see how this politicians are spending tax payers money, in Naija which tax we dey pay, lets just be honest and call it what it is- it is Niger Delta's money.