₦airaland Forum

Hello Fam. I need your advice/opinions on the following situations involving two friends of mine as well as myself. It may be a long read but I apologize in advance and urge you to read through and offer genuine advice.

BACKSTORY:

We are three friends of about the same age range who had agreed to focus and work diligently/together on a business opportunity without the distractions of a serious relationship in order to achieve a certain level of financial stability as we had calculated.

However the lockdowns came, the opportunity was lost so we became disillusioned and went out separate ways.

FRIEND 1:

Relocated to the east where his uncle offered him a job in his company and he was largely cut off from us living his life. The dire insecurity and persistent sit-at-homes made him to begin to consider relocating abroad which he communicated to us and which we encouraged. However, his attempts flopped multiple times and I assumed that he gave up and under pressure from family decided to date and perform marital rites with his lady.

The issue now is that one of his bids to go abroad has come through. In the planning for it, part of the options of making it stick is to marry a citizen of the country to guarantee residency and fast track citizenship.

The marriage is just a month old with plans for court/church wedding in December. Should he annul the marriage by asking for his bride price/dowry back or.....what should he do?


FRIEND 2:

Has a lady whom he has known from the teenage years but from afar. Same church, same area etc, but no interactions at all. He is more of an introvert, so mostly to/by himself but he says he coincidentally reconnected with her on a WhatsApp group that they both belonged to.

She was in another state and fresh from a breakup but relocated back to Lagos for a job. She basically pressured him and he gave in and started a relationship with her against my advice. He said she was in a bad place mentally and had lost her self esteem, so he would try and help her build it back up.

She has a stream of personal and family problems which she would always talk about. She doesn't directly ask him to do anything persay but with the constant talk, he feels pressured to do something and he does.

He has done a lot in the span of three months and now we both feel like it is time to get back to focus as she is somewhat balanced now. That would cut off the financial, emotional and time drain that being in a relationship with her came with.

The thing is he has brought it up with her subtly several times and she would push it off/change the topic. The one time she addressed it, she said something along the lines of "he should allow her to enjoy the relationship at least to the end of the year as it was the best relationship she had ever had".

He is tired and would like to just end the whole thing but feels guilty and is hesitant especially due to an unfolding situation with her dad which he has refused to share with me. Advice?


ME:

I have a female friend who I have known for a few years. We met on the job at a company on the same team before she resigned and left to try to do her own thing. I also resigned a couple of months after her.

While on the job, she would always want to be with me. When it time to go and eat, drag me when it was time to go home etc Always sending mixed signals. She would tell me about how a colleague made a pass at her or how some guy tried to touch her inappropriately and how she hates that. Then she would at different times, twerk towards my groin, intentionally breast-bump me or touch me in a suggestive manner.


She was single at the time and while taking about relationship one time, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she declined because according to her, she was seeking marriage and not just to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship also because we are not really compatible, which I agree with.


After we had both quit the job, our friendship continued. We'd hangout and even on one or two occasions spend the night at each other's house without anything happening. The jury is out on whether I didn't act boldly enough to bag a shag or whether she was not just feeling me like that. It was not for lack of an attempt on my part but I will not be going on any blog for committing attempted rape.

Time went and we grew slightly apart but we kept in touch enough for me to know that she developed depression as well as a bad habit, to deal with it. I tried to help but at some point when she started a relationship with a dude, I backed out again till she started reaching out to me and accusing me of forgetting her etc.

Turns out that they have broken up. The reason, I do not know but the entire vibe right now seems crazy like she wants to get with me, with her even coming to visit me at my office uninformed. Unfortunately, I was not on seat when she came but colleagues have been giving me the thumbs up.

I would prefer to stay on my lane and focus on finishing the year as strong as I can but I am really tempted to get into a situationship with her because I won't lie, she is a fine specimen of female. My head and heart say "No", but my body is nodding "Yes" like a mofo.

What to do!....

Hello Fam. I need your advice/opinions on the following situations involving two friends of mine as well as myself. It may be a long read but I apologize in advance and urge you to read through and offer genuine advice.

BACKSTORY:

We are three friends of about the same age range who had agreed to focus and work diligently/together on a business opportunity without the distractions of a serious relationship in order to achieve a certain level of financial stability as we had calculated.

However the lockdowns came, the opportunity was lost so we became disillusioned and went out separate ways.

FRIEND 1:

Relocated to the east where his uncle offered him a job in his company and he was largely cut off from us living his life. The dire insecurity and persistent sit-at-homes made him to begin to consider relocating abroad which he communicated to us and which we encouraged. However, his attempts flopped multiple times and I assumed that he gave up and under pressure from family decided to date and perform marital rites with his lady.

The issue now is that one of his bids to go abroad has come through. In the planning for it, part of the options of making it stick is to marry a citizen of the country to guarantee residency and fast track citizenship.

The marriage is just a month old with plans for court/church wedding in December. Should he annul the marriage by asking for his bride price/dowry back or.....what should he do?


FRIEND 2:

Has a lady whom he has known from the teenage years but from afar. Same church, same area etc, but no interactions at all. He is more of an introvert, so mostly to/by himself but he says he coincidentally reconnected with her on a WhatsApp group that they both belonged to.

She was in another state and fresh from a breakup but relocated back to Lagos for a job. She basically pressured him and he gave in and started a relationship with her against my advice. He said she was in a bad place mentally and had lost her self esteem, so he would try and help her build it back up.

She has a stream of personal and family problems which she would always talk about. She doesn't directly ask him to do anything persay but with the constant talk, he feels pressured to do something and he does.

He has done a lot in the span of three months and now we both feel like it is time to get back to focus as she is somewhat balanced now. That would cut off the financial, emotional and time drain that being in a relationship with her came with.

The thing is he has brought it up with her subtly several times and she would push it off/change the topic. The one time she addressed it, she said something along the lines of "he should allow her to enjoy the relationship at least to the end of the year as it was the best relationship she had ever had".

He is tired and would like to just end the whole thing but feels guilty and is hesitant especially due to an unfolding situation with her dad which he has refused to share with me. Advice?


ME:

I have a female friend who I have known for a few years. We met on the job at a company on the same team before she resigned and left to try to do her own thing. I also resigned a couple of months after her.

While on the job, she would always want to be with me. When it time to go and eat, drag me when it was time to go home etc Always sending mixed signals. She would tell me about how a colleague made a pass at her or how some guy tried to touch her inappropriately and how she hates that. Then she would at different times, twerk towards my groin, intentionally breast-bump me or touch me in a suggestive manner.


She was single at the time and while taking about relationship one time, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she declined because according to her, she was seeking marriage and not just to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship also because we are not really compatible, which I agree with.


After we had both quit the job, our friendship continued. We'd hangout and even on one or two occasions spend the night at each other's house without anything happening. The jury is out on whether I didn't act boldly enough to bag a shag or whether she was not just feeling me like that. It was not for lack of an attempt on my part but I will not be going on any blog for committing attempted rape.

Time went and we grew slightly apart but we kept in touch enough for me to know that she developed depression as well as a bad habit, to deal with it. I tried to help but at some point when she started a relationship with a dude, I backed out again till she started reaching out to me and accusing me of forgetting her etc.

Turns out that they have broken up. The reason, I do not know but the entire vibe right now seems crazy like she wants to get with me, with her even coming to visit me at my office uninformed. Unfortunately, I was not on seat when she came but colleagues have been giving me the thumbs up.

I would prefer to stay on my lane and focus on finishing the year as strong as I can but I am really tempted to get into a situationship with her because I won't lie, she is a fine specimen of female. My head and heart say "No", but my body is nodding "Yes" like a mofo.

What to do!....

This level of seeming willful ignorance is alarming and reprehensible.

You should try to actually go out and improve the circle of people you hang with.

This is like a pet fish thinking that the aquarium is all there is to life.

First off, it is very important that you know what you want. You said you didn't have a problem with it so why looking for a why to conspire to force the young man against his will?

Secondly, the situation under which he said that is important because it would give you an idea of the thinking or reasoning behind saying that. Better still, you can bring up the topic casually and ask him why he doesn't want to. If he can clearly explain why he doesn't want to kneel without he/she said, then you got a man and should be happy about that.

Thirdly, If he cannot explain clearly, it may be a peer influence thing and may not be from his heart.

Either way, it is important to note that kneeling to propose is not African but influenced by western systems and philosophies. More and more men are coming to that realization and refusing to do it even in the western world.

What you can do is try to convince him to do it because of how it would make you feel or what it would mean to you(showing how much he loves you). If you are able to convince him, be grateful and if not, you need to be truthful to yourself as regards if a gesture is more important to you than him/your relationship.

My father did not go on a knee to propose to my mother and the chances of me kneeling to propose my wife is less than 10% at the moment.

The more we as Africans discard potentially harmful influences of social engineering from the west, the better for us all.

Ocholu:
Bros, if you're the person come and say it. Let's know how to appropriately advice you. Stop hiding in the guise of your friend.

Check very well. Do I seem to you like the type that wouldn't own my own shvt?

Dude, just give your advise. It's not hard.

@luwi

luwiizy:
So your paddi want to turn fwd to
Serious relationship...

Was that the initial agreement from the start..

Or he's just catching feeling along the line..

Ocholu:
Nawa Oh! For this current Naija na him person wan de dive in raw?

She's not yet his wife okay. So he should be collecting the one he can collect till he has gathered enough money to pay her bride price.

Dude wants to feel entitled on top FWB pússsy.

From what I know, he seems to have been "spoilt" from the very beginning because his girlfriends of then had always allowed him to hit raw and he's one of those guys that say they don't like condom.

Also, he confessed to me that he is freaked out at how he has not been able to "perform" with her and he has done a lot for her. Still don't know the extent other than what he has told me.

To be honest, I am secretly curious as to why he can't because it is strange to me as well.

I don't keep a lot of friends because I detest unnecessary drama and can't handle the drama of too many people at the same time. However, there is this one male friend who is quite messy and disorganized in his things but whom I value because he has shown his loyalty and has come through for me a number of times.

There is this girl whom he started something of a FWB(Friends with benefits) situation with some time back which I am aware of. I knew he basically did things for this girl and was acting like a boyfriend even though he went in as a FWB. I have met the girl and it doesn't seem like she really likes him past what he has been doing for him but he has been convinced that they could be there for each other till they are both ready to settle down.

I advised him against that because I suspected the girl was toxic but I didn't know just how toxic until now. He opened up to me that since they have been together for almost 7months now, they have only ever had somewhat okay sex twice. Other times, he would not be aroused enough to sex her and she had all these rules about not touching her vajayjay and always using condoms and other stuff like that.

He has gone to doctors and taken meds and even when two different doctors said there was nothing wrong with him, he continued taking medication. He went as far as visiting a doctor with her.

Now this is the main issue, the other two doctors he earlier visited advised that if he and the girl were exclusive, they could have sex raw. He had gone along with it for long and he finally confronted her about it and after all the rigmaroling, she says she wants to maintain status quo. No condoms, same FWB situationship...

He was saying that he is confused as to what to do and that he wants "impersonal advice". I know exactly what to tell him but I may be harsh. I want to hear your opinions guys.

Aderewah:
Hello. Nigeria is hard. We all know that. The question is what are you going to do about it? Nigerian youths have done well to adapt. Many work online and others engage in different types of businesses.
A career many tend to overlook is photography. Photography is a very lucrative business. Many make millions from photography. Ask TY Bello, Jide Olukoya and Kelechi Amadi. There are many more photographers who are not well known but make millions on a steady.
Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, modelling, convocations, naming all need services of a photographer.
Photographers charge upwards of 250 thousand naira and more every Saturday for weddings in lagos.
Without saying too much, let us dive into the training. However, to ensure that I am not teaching myself, I will need to see twenty comments from distint monikers to begin. Let us begin.

Aderewah, please start already. Pay no mind to naysayers.

Abi do you want to promise and fail like our PressTillDent?

Please guys this is urgent. It is for tomorrow. I got this in my e-mail which I just checked. Help me verify.

Hello,

This is to inform you that you have been rescheduled to attend an interview with details below

Date: Monday, 26th of March 2018

Time: 10 am



Venue: Fifth Quadrant Performance Limited (FQPL)

Address: 2nd Floor, No 2, Macarthy Street
Beside TBS, Onikan
Lagos

Upon arrival kindly ask to see Aniekan.

Kindly acknowledge receipt and confirm attendance. Failure to do so will be taken as a forfeiture of the interview.


For any enquiries kindly respond to this mail or contact the number below.


Please be punctual and best of luck.



Thank you very much guys.

Hello guys please I got this in my e-mail. Are they genuine?

Hi Davis,
Thank you for applying to our organization through Iminds media.
Your application for the position applied for stood out to us and we would like to invite you for an interview at our office.
You will meet with our Head of HR, Ms Nzekwue.
The interview will last about 2 Hours.
You’ll have the chance to discuss the position’s responsibilities and learn more about our company.
We would like to conduct your interview on Thursday 22/03/2018 by 9.30am.

Our office is located at Plot 5 Adeniyi Jones Adjacent Mikano Bus stop. University press building. Ikeja Lagos.
Please bring your CV and your credentials,
Looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards
Iminds Media.

Please guys I got this in my e-mail. Help me verify. Does anyone know about the company and is this for real?


Hi Davis,
Thank you for applying to our organization through Iminds media.
Your application for the position applied for stood out to us and we would like to invite you for an interview at our office.
You will meet with our Head of HR, Ms Nzekwue.
The interview will last about 2 Hours.
You’ll have the chance to discuss the position’s responsibilities and learn more about our company.
We would like to conduct your interview on Thursday 22/03/2018 by 9.30am.

Our office is located at Plot 5 Adeniyi Jones Adjacent Mikano Bus stop. University press building. Ikeja Lagos.
Please bring your CV and your credentials,
Looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards
Iminds Media.

ezravandi:
Local breed GSD

Vikkiboi:
A mixed GSD with a local dog bloodline

Thanks. It's actually a male dog. I was thinking that maybe it is a GSD and Labrador retriever crossbreed. My suspicions.

I'm thinking whether to sell it off or not. But really I don't want to crossbreed it with my female full blood GSD. That one dey bully this one till tomorrow sef.

Please your opinions.

Josh44s:
Isn’t that the dog named Buhari? Na him

Just dunno what to say to you.

Umm....You are really helping. Not with my with my question but to ease some stress.....

Please someone help!

Please guys, could you help me to identify the breed of this dog.

I was not around when my mum bought it. Someone got it for her and kept it for a while and she was told it was a german shepard. I came home to meet it and I know for a fact that it is not a German shepard.

It behaves so much like a pet dog. It likes to be rubbed and to make bodily contact and just relax. It hardly barks except when fihting for food with the Real German Shepard.

Please help!!

Guys please what breed of dog is this?

I wasn't around when my mum bought it from someone who claims till date that it is a German Shepard. I know a German Shepard when I see one plus it doesn't behave like one. It is too pet-ty, hardly barks(if it ever does) and the ears just don't say German Shepard.

Please I need your help.

Hey Fam,

I am caught up in a dilemma. I've been trying to do some online biz(article writing) for a while now. I have opend a paypal account for more than 2 months now. I signed up to some atricle writing sites. I have come up with a couple of articles that I ought to submit and get paid.
The problem I am faced with now is that most of them have refused to do business with me without a verified paypal account.

I tried linking my UBA and ECOBank savings accounts to no avail. Then I opened up a new FirstBank Savings account to get an expression Master Card. That was taking too long, so I went for a Visa instead. That failed as well. Now I have a Visa Gold (dollar denominated) Card. I tried linking that too and it failed. This same problem for almost 3 months now.

I am tired at this point. How do I go about getting my paypal verified so I can focus on writing? Please Help! #SOS


Cc: Lalasticlala, IshiLove. Help a brother out.

SalamRushdie:
Everyone knows that Zuckerberg has great hatred for Trump but it don't matter because Trump shall Trump all Satanist and their gimmicks In Jesus Name

Please Salam Rushdie, could you back-up this claim of yours that Obama, Clinton and the Democrats are Satanists with more information especially links to prove.

Thanks

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Are you tired of being idle with no legitimate means of income in sight?

Are you tired of working that 8-4 or 9-5 low income paying job?

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The opportunity is here!

More and more people are becoming Millionaires by leveraging on the vacuum created by the lack of skilled work.

Come find out how you can get skilled and set-up your own business based on skilled work.

FREE WORKSHOP THIS SATURDAY

THEME: Branding, Packaging and Networking for Skilled work, the business for the future

DATE: Saturday 4th of March, 2017

TIME: 12pm prompt

VENUE: DE FORTE ACADEMY

ADDRESS: 228, Old Ipaja Road, Mulero Bus/Stop, Agege, Lagos

For enquiries call: 08182475959, 08039367772

Come set-up your business for the future!

Are you seeking for alternative means of income or multiple income streams?

Are you a youth tired of looking for a job?

Are you tired of being idle with no legitimate means of income in sight?

Are you tired of working that 8-4 or 9-5 low income paying job?

In these challenging times, many people seek for ways of making money.

The opportunity is here!

More and more people are becoming Millionaires by leveraging on the vacuum created by the lack of skilled work.

Come find out how you can get skilled and set-up your own business based on skilled work.

FREE WORKSHOP THIS SATURDAY

THEME: Branding, Packaging and Networking for Skilled work, the business for the future

DATE: Saturday 4th of March, 2017

TIME: 12pm

VENUE: DE FORTE ACADEMY

ADDRESS: 228, Old Ipaja Road, Mulero Bus/Stop, Agege, Lagos State

For enquiries call: 08182475959, 08039367772

Come set-up your business for the future!

Been a long time I have been that way. I keep hearing stuff and seeng pics on nairaland. I'll believe it all when I see it all

In order news,Please who knows how I can get ANAMBRA RICE here in Lagos? Please post it here or DM me. Thank you.

Donald J. Trump has officially become the Republican Presidential Candidate for the 2016 US Elections after meeting the required amount of delegate votes to clinche the position.

Donald Trump, the billionaire businessman whose outsider campaign has both galvanized millions of voters and divided the Republican Party, is the 2016 GOP presidential nominee.

The New Yorker's embrace by the Republican National Convention marks a remarkable moment in U.S. political history and validates a campaign that shattered precedent, defied pundits and usurped the GOP establishment.

His son Donald Trump, Jr., cast the votes for the New York delegation that put the billionaire businessman over the top of the 1,237 delegates he needed to clinch the nomination, as any talk of disruptive protest votes or walkouts dissipated.

"It is my honor to be able to throw Donald Trump over the top in the delegate count tonight with 89 delegates," Donald Jr. said, surrounded by three of Trump's other children -- Ivanka, Eric and Tiffany.
"Congratulations Dad, we love you."

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/07/19/politics/donald-trump-republican-nomination-2016-election/

With all due respect to you Mr Nedu, I believe this post to be grossly incorrect on several counts. However, I shall speak only on that which I am sure about.

The first church was set up by christ himself and he left the church in the care of his apostles and disciples led be Apostle Peter who was so named by Jesus, for that purpose. The term "catholic/catholicism" which is commonly used, means "universal doctrine" which is used to show that the church has the same doctrines, systems and teachings in all posts anywhere in the world. The term "pope" means "father" this is used to denote the christian family(as a whole) which is led by a "father". Therefore by virtue of christ making Apostle Peter the leader/father of the church, he(Apostle Peter) is the first pope.

The Anglican church came into being when. King Henry III, King of England decided he must seek another wife to bear him a male child against the doctrines and approval of the then catholic pope. He decided to cut ties with Rome and set up a church he could control- The church of England which is the Anglican church.

I do beg that before we make such a post, we verify our information so as to inform rather than mislead people.

Knowlege/Information is Power