₦airaland Forum

folake4u:
It is scary really.

None at all. The platform is just running on vibes and Insha Allah.

May God epp us ooo

folake4u:
I know jare.

I was testing out that monicker stuff. I never knew one could do that.

It is scary . This update no good at all.

Nl has no security measures for it's users . Imagine the harm trolls can do with this

Yes

And I got to know what XYZ test mean

Folake4u

Lol

Persephone that has been deactivated since January

This is another reason to stop commenting on Nl for me o

Lol Treadway it's possible

I just edited your post and added my moniker

.

You project your insecurity as defect in others. This is new

Man will still talk to your worwor woman, deal with your insecurity

Yes

cococandy:
I’ve been saying it. I don’t waste my breath anymore trying to judge another woman. Encouraging her to be great to these types of men who won’t hesitate to show her pepper by the looks of the kinds of things they say and support. Everyone pls do what benefits you. The men decided that’s how life should be


Even the good ones will surprise you with some kind of opinion they’ll share. You’ll be like this 😧😮.

No empathy at all

Sometimes I wonder if they are humans

Tightpussy2024:
Do you have the energy to argue with a man that believes praying or doing whatever possible to secure her marriage is ritualism? If she had done it for his promotion at work or ease his ill health will he refer to It as ritualism?

This point ehn! Lol .

Husband will encourage wives to go spiritual for protection against attacks or for good luck but will later turn on wives and label them diabolic. Lol No be today.

Those millennial women really suffered Sha

Gerrard59:
Islam is a very conservative religion. Adherents need to know what they are in for. Islam is not Christianity. In fact, Islam is the major reason Northern Christians are more conservative than their counterparts in the south.



Unfortunately, in this case, religion is not a business. A business is bounded by legal documents which can be challenged in a court of law. Religion is static, especially for a conservative religion such as Islam. A business partnership gives one the right of refusal, and if not honoured can be challenged in court. Is it a Sharia Court that would prevent a rich Muslim man from marrying a second wife?

I have met a Senegalese Muslim who is married to a Japanese woman. Before marrying, he told her she would have to convert to Islam and be prepared to accept him marrying a second or third wife if need be. She agreed and is a Muslim as I write. If tomorrow, she objects to him marrying another wife, that is being dishonest. Agreement is agreement. If you don't like the agreement, don't sign the documents.



She was offered compensation. Jarus is not the first Muslim man who had nothing and later married another woman. If Muslim women don't like that arrangement, they should not marry Muslim men. How is this hard? They have a choice. Nobody is stopping them. I gave an example of Korean women. In return, Korean men aren't marrying as well.



Yes, she has the right to be hurt, but not use juju when he hates it. She is a Muslim woman. If she does not like what Islam does in that aspect, change to another religious belief. BTW, marrying a second wife is WAY better than carrying side chicks upandown like Odanz who is now a WAZOBIA womaniser. The problem here is that modern day women don't understand or want to accept the men's biology.

Lol... You just admit you don't adhere to the standard Christian living yet you expect it from another because according to you her religion is conservative. If truly that is, why are Muslims in the Northern part of the country slightly different from the those in Southern part? Why are Yoruba Muslims more accommodating than their northern counterpart? What makes one a fanatic, one a cleric the other just a Muslim brethren. If the religion is so "conservative" that it would not allow filtering why then can some Muslims marry from other religion while some can't? Perhaps Islam is only "conservative" when it comes to marrying more than one wife.

But then let's go the conservative way shall we? In Islam, a woman has the right to request for divorce if her husband can't cater for her needs but according to what I have read, the woman chose to stay. She didn't ermmm what was that word? "use her Islamic right" but built with her man.

In Islam, it is stated that a man can marry up to four wives provided he can cater for all their needs which isn't financial alone. If you listen to genuine Imams preaching they explain and emphasis on the condition. This rule didn't state that you marry one when you are poor and add others when you are financially okay. Something must people do without seeing the wrong in "using" the first wife. If Uncle J wants to be so conservative, he should have married his second wife 13-12 years ago giving the first wife at least a year to feel at home


2. Again you fail to see the point , religious analogy stopped at my first paragraph. On second point I try to help you see from a woman's perspective using what most men hold dear. I used the business analogy because it has something common with marriage which is PARTNERSHIP. Given your response, I believe I have my answer which is you wouldn't take your friend's suggestion of an inactive partner who gets equal benefit as you do. That is exactly how a woman sees a second wife . It's no use going back and forth on that. It's a lesson to learn if you will not a topic for debate. No woman who is heavily invested in her family/husband will easily accept a third wheel. That's a fact!


If both couples had the discussion of possible second or third wife, then you are right on agreement is agreement. If there's no discussion about it, the wife gives her all only for the husband to suddenly spring the news of a new wife on her because religion permits then that's wrong. It is inconsiderate, disingenuous, selfish and cruel. You will not smile if your wife takes crucial decisions in your home without discussing it with you first. Let's be honest here.

Lol at she was compensated . You don't get, and you may never will until you get a dose of it. I hope you will be this logical about it when you do.

When a woman also exercise her societal / biological rights to produce an offspring any which way . I will be here to laugh and encourage you all to be logical about it That empathy you all take out when forming opinions on matters you will thirst for it.

cococandy:
Absolutely well said.

Thank you

Honestly sometimes I wonder if these men don't see implications of their opinions.

It's one of the reasons I don't pity some of them when women show them shege

Gerrard59:
Yes. It is permissible in Islam. Any woman who marries a Muslim MUST accept it. It is Islamic. You don't like it?

- Convert to a different religion
- Marry a non-Muslim.

The dishonesty in this matter is nauseating. A Muslim man has the right to marry FOUR WIVES. What is wrong with that?

I will respond to this because I believe you are one of the few people with balanced view on this forum. Lol I don't "chook" mouth in family matter but at the same time there's a need to correct this notion.

The only dishonesty here is you neglecting the effect of taking up a second wife on a woman. And you expect a woman to be just fine with it because religion permits it. I have a question. Do you do or accept everything your religion dictates? Do you flitter out what you think is not right and acceptable while you stick with what you seem doable? Do you renounce Christianity and switch to other religion? If you don't live 100% a Christian but still maintain the religion while do you think a Muslim woman who can't live 100% a Muslim should renounce her religion? Hypocrisy much? This is me assuming you are a Christian because of your name.

Point 2. Let's say you go into partnership with a very good friend of yours to start a business on a 40-60 profit sharing percentage. After 14 years of sacrifice and labour and the business is finally paying off your friend decided bring in another partner who will invest little to nothing but share your 40% profit with you.Note your friend brings in this new partner not for financial/ business contributions but for personal reasons. How would you genuinely feel? Accept it without making any fuss? To make this more relatable, Partnership= Marriage, A good friend of yours = Jarius , Business= Home/Family , New partner= Second wife. I hope you understand why women don't easily accept second wives even if they had been told before they were born.

According to some account online, J's first wife had been there for him when he had nothing. He mentioned a case of selling her gold to celebrate a festival or something. That shows how much this woman loves and sacrifice for her husband, are you saying she shouldn't have gone that far and held some of her love, support and kindness since she's aware a new wife would join later so she won't get hurt? . Maybe y'all don't see the implications of what you type here. Here's your logic. "As a Muslim woman don't be 100% devoted to your husband because he is not for you alone" .

I see both J and wife are very advanced in age. They are from the time where genuine love and companionship exist instead of them to cherish that, they want a 22 year old faargin to ruin what they have. Lol Their choice really... I don't care. My problem is , don't downplay a woman's feelings and emotions because you believe a religion gives you the permission to be selfish. She's right to object and hurt. If you want to exercise your Islamic right do it when you had nothing so you all can build together. That's my grouse.

Look at the bright side... At least she's stopped from serving jail term in a foreign land because it's obvious this one can't last

The end is near



BTW I'm waiting for Nigerian Government to urge it's citizens to leave as well.

Good for you.

Wahala

Like something typed up there, show your kidneys and liver some mercy.

In your faces !!! World Athletics & WADA 😝😛

FuckingMachine:
That's how their gang are. They reason like kids and become destructive when things don't go their way. If you disagree with them the next thing is a ban. Unfortunately, bans don't work in real life.

You will be surprised that a fellow woman like pocoh antas actually sided with Jarus against the wife.

I cringed when I saw it.

Kindly take a hike.

God knows I can never be with a man who believes money is all a woman needs. Such men are so difficult to relate with, someone is hurting you are flashing money is that suppose to console her?

Money you didn't throw her way until you wronged her. Lol and you think that will make her accept your decision? Will that not even make her want to "secure her place" more.

I do not support her going diabolic ( that's you selling your soul for someone who's not worth it) . He however has no right to betray or hit her. He should have exercised his "Islamic right" when they had nothing so they ( first wife, Jarius and the second wife ) can all build together .

The most senseless post I've read in a while. I stopped reading at number 3 . Do you know the mental stress most Nigerian students go through when they go abroad to further their studies? Some go as far as having mental breakdown because of the tedious/strenuous workload in school. While their fellow white students go through same without much fuss because they are used with the system from kindergarten. Nonsense! Comparing Nigerian education system to abroad. When your best pharmacy/medical graduate can not practice or further directly without having to do extra courses or start all over again in some cases.

Please take down this post

I know this is Nairaland but y'all should try to put more effort in the hogwash you feed yourselves here. !

She doesn't want to get intimate with the man but can't dissociate from his money

Madam nah one you go choose

Nice post...

I dedicate same to all single fathers out there. They don't have it any better either.

Later they will play victim cards if the law comes for them.