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Ptoocool's Posts

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Family / Re: Mother, Daughter, Fight Over Lover In Abuja by Ptoocool(m): 10:24pm On Jul 16, 2016
Kelklein:
There were two sisters....
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) & the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the house.
SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes ?
I wonder what he wants.
SL : It's logical.
He wants to rape us.
SM : Oh, no !
At this rate he will reach us in 4 minutes at the most !
What can we do?
SL : The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.....
SM : It's not working.
SL : Of course it's not working.
The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too.
SM : So, what shall we do?
At this rate he will reach us in 2 minutes.
SL : The only logical thing we can do is split.
You go that way & I'll go this way.
He cannot follow us both.
Man follows Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the house and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then within few minutes Sister Logical arrives.

SM : Sister Logical !
Thank God you are here !
Tell me what happened ??
SL : The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,
so he followed Me
SM : Yes, yes !
But what happened then?
SL : The only logical thing happened.
I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM : And ?
SL : The only logical thing happened.
He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear !
What did you do ?
SL : The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister !
What did the Man do?
SL : The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.
SM :Oh, no !
What happened next ?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister ?
A Girl with her dress up can run faster than Man with his pants down !

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, I'll pray for You !.....

So be Logical not Calculative...!!!

Dont Forget To Hit Like And Share With Your Loved ones.

kikikikikiki, diz guy dey kwase ahswear,,

wetin concern me concern mother & daughter being logical with their ........



Guy, abeg logical jokes still dey? grin
Politics / Re: UK Dailymail Used Amara Ajuzie's Photo As One Of Those Missing In Nice Attack by Ptoocool(m): 12:55pm On Jul 16, 2016
That moment when Lie Mohammed finally decides to settle down in the UK grin

59 Likes 3 Shares

Events / Re: Plus-Sized Ladies In Bikini At South Africa's Pool Party by Ptoocool(m): 12:47pm On Jul 16, 2016
#teamBBW

4 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: Corper Tonia's Mother Got Her Through University Through Her Petty Business by Ptoocool(m): 12:42pm On Jul 16, 2016
Fabulocity:
At least she graduated
She didn't get expelled, no spill over, no advise to withdraw
That's what matters smiley

Hahahahaha, like seriously? If that's all you've got then I've got nothing to say than SMH-ing for you..
NYSC / Re: Corper Tonia's Mother Got Her Through University Through Her Petty Business by Ptoocool(m): 12:42pm On Jul 16, 2016
FLStudioGuy:

First class upper undecided

Which of her courses do you take?

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Helen Paul Stuns In New Make-up Pics by Ptoocool(m): 12:37pm On Jul 16, 2016
Did she 'make up' that area too?



Why the public display of that region?
NYSC / Re: Corper Tonia's Mother Got Her Through University Through Her Petty Business by Ptoocool(m): 12:34pm On Jul 16, 2016
Wetin she graduate with?

That's all that matters, not THIS pix..

4 Likes

Sports / Re: Sunday Oliseh To NFF: "Pay Us Now We Are Alive"; " We Do Not Owe You" - NFF by Ptoocool(m): 5:00pm On Jul 08, 2016
arsenal33:
He doesn't deserve a penny. He was useless!
He should pay Nigeria for doing a shoddy job and jumping ship.
he was just craap!

lmao, seconded
even Wenger's much better grin

4 Likes

Travel / Re: Daniel Henry, A Nigerian, Dies In Mumbai India (photo) by Ptoocool(m): 4:45pm On Jul 08, 2016
Another one.

R.I.P. young man
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 4:33pm On Jul 08, 2016
herbie27:
He doesn't trust Islamist, and will do anything in his powers as a president to stop them frm entering America. cheesy Due to their terrorism nature.

That's the point. That is America. This is Nigeria. He's policies is of no use here. If he stops them from entering America (goodluck with that), don't you think it's a disadvantage to a country like ours as the terrorists may decide to 'settle' down here?


BTW, are you an American?
Nairaland / General / Re: Pictures Of A Puff Adder Killed This Morning While Working On A Farmland by Ptoocool(m): 4:22pm On Jul 08, 2016
Chai, see better meat


Meanwhile, OP, get ready, wear your crash helmet cos some people are coming for ur head



"OP, u're 'weekend' oo"

"why did you kill dat 'beautiful' creature?"

"you should have let it bite you now"

"you should hv taken that to a zoo now"

52 Likes 5 Shares

Sports / Re: Ahmed Musa Unveiled At Leicester City by Ptoocool(m): 4:17pm On Jul 08, 2016
Musa? Leicester?
Hmmmmm..
All the best o!
But it's really none of ma biz..


Heard Sanogo is back in training with the team. Isn't his loan deal supposed to last 10years?
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 4:16pm On Jul 08, 2016
AngelAhnie:
No make me laugh abeg
Dear, biko, laugh as much as you can. It's your 'nashural' right.
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 4:13pm On Jul 08, 2016
herbie27:
Talking of US presidential candidate Donald Trump. cheesy never mind.

Pls lemme mind, lemme mind what Donald Trump becoming president got to do with Borno bombing..

Lemme mind o
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 3:56pm On Jul 08, 2016
herbie27:
If not that Trump is a racist, i would have love him to be the US president, to chase these lots out of America. cheesy

Trump? Borno bombing?



Guess I'm confused asf right now,,
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 3:48pm On Jul 08, 2016
Love Machine:
Anytime the moon is sighted,it rains.

lmao, never knew that,, thought it only rains when the sky is cloudy - no moon in sight
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 3:42pm On Jul 08, 2016
Love Machine:
Why didn't it rain?
Why would it rain?
Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 3:37pm On Jul 08, 2016
herbie27:
Also after the Sallah, I jst wonder wat inspires this people to bomb others.

I just tire, religion of piss

9 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: Bomb Blast At Borno Mosque Leaves 6 People Dead (graphic Photos) by Ptoocool(m): 3:30pm On Jul 08, 2016
And this is coming after "sighting the moon"


SMH

R.I.P. to the dead

9 Likes

Politics / Re: Declare State Of Emergency In Zamfara - Dansadau Tells Buhari by Ptoocool(m): 9:08am On Jun 27, 2016
I knw Buhari won't like this. This man must be speaking in proverbs.


Based on the aforementioned reason, he's clearly implying we should as well declare a "country of emergency"

Kai walai, PMB wont like dis,,

7 Likes 1 Share

Sports / Re: Adam Lindin Ljungkvist Dismissed For Farting Loudly by Ptoocool(m): 7:59pm On Jun 22, 2016
Lmao

2 Likes

Politics / Re: The Moment Precious Chikwendu Left The Court Angrily Today by Ptoocool(m): 8:27pm On Jun 21, 2016
Rumour has it she left to get more food for her man.. grin
Sports / Re: Kalu Uche Celebrates 5th Wedding Anniversary With His Wife by Ptoocool(m): 8:17pm On Jun 21, 2016
But where's Yakubu Aiyegbeni??
Politics / Re: 9 Armed Bandits Killed By Soldiers During Patrol In Zamfara State. Photos by Ptoocool(m): 8:15pm On Jun 21, 2016
"You are please requested to kindly disseminate this information to the public through your medium"



But why do I have this feeling of Mr. Lie being the Editor-in-Chief of NationalHelm?
Politics / Re: Saraki And Ekeweremadu's Forgery Trial Stalled In Abuja by Ptoocool(m): 12:16pm On Jun 21, 2016
.
Family / Re: American Woman's Father Accepts Her Nigerian Husband Finally by Ptoocool(m): 9:18am On Jun 21, 2016
ameezy:
grin mean while a serious accident just happened in England some arsenal fans were involved
Its a pity though only few died cry

grin
Celebrities / Re: Tiwa Savage Dressed Like A Tom Boy And Asked Fans Who She Looked Like by Ptoocool(m): 9:09am On Jun 21, 2016
Sleekydee:
teebillz
Romance / Success Laws Of Marriage by Ptoocool(m): 4:16pm On Jun 19, 2016
If you're not married, you're going to be glad you're not married - yet. If you're married, you're going to learn how to stay married and if you've been divorced, you'll probably understand why it happened. This piece covers everybody.


Today, I want to focus on the successful laws of marriage. We are going to rediscover the authority of the marriage covenant and I want to begin with what I called the "paradox of marriage." Here are some of the greatest paradox of marriage.


1. Marriage is the greatest attraction and distraction: Everybody seem to want to get married, at-least most of us have the desire to get married but the problem is, marriage can become a big distraction to you if you don't do it right.


2. Marriage is the most beautiful danger in life: How can something be beautiful and dangerous? That's marriage - it's beautiful but it's dangerous.


3. Marriage is the greatest source of joy and frustration: There are married couples who are reading this right now. On the wedding day it was so exciting, few weeks later, you're wondering if you made a mistake. Joy and frustration.


4. Marriage is the most precious dream and nightmare one could have: 'Oh, I can't wait to walk down the aisle in my beautiful dress (cute tuxedo), I can't wait to start building a family of my own.' 'I just need some breathing space, will someone just wake me up?.'


5. Marriage is the greatest source of hope and fear: This is because we are not sure we are going to make it. No one get married free of butterflies, no matter how much you think you're in love, when you have to walk down that aisle, your questions are 'am I going in the right direction?' 'Am I doing the right thing?' 'Do I know what am doing?.'


So here's my conclusion: Marriage is an option given by God. What do I mean by that? First of all, marriage was created by God, it is His product but it's an option. It means, marriage is not necessary to fulfill God's purpose for your life. You can fulfill God's will and His purpose for your life without being married. So don't spend all your life looking for someone to marry and forget to live God's will.

You should be preoccupied fulfilling God's will or preparing to fulfill it rather than consuming your time chasing the prospect of marriage. In other words, marriage is a choice and not mandatory. There are many people in history and also biblical characters who did great works for God and were not married.

The first thing I made mention in this piece was this, marriage is an attraction but it is also a distraction i.e. Marriage can enhance your destiny or destroy it. There are people who were doing well until they got married. They were on course with their life, they have their own vision, they have every goal set, they had their career on track, everything was in order, they were zealous for God, they knew their purpose, they were passionate for their dream, they were organized and their life was descent until they got married. But now, they are confused, lost, frustrated, they don't know what to do anymore.

Here's what marriage is: Marriage is such a beautiful idea, only God could've thought of it. It is the very first institution created by God. If you read the Bible, you'll notice it doesn't begin with Church, Government or Education. Therefore, God's institution is only successful by Heaven's standard. A successful marriage is only possible within God's Kingdom Culture therefore, His product must be within His specification.



http://kolawolepeters..com.ng/2016/06/success-laws-of-marriage.html#more

3 Likes 4 Shares

Religion / Re: No Acceptable Reasons For Missing Church Service by Ptoocool(m): 4:11pm On Jun 19, 2016
mysticgal:

That's too mush grammar grin

Vote Mysticgal for Miss Nairaland 2016

Money for hand, back for ground ni,,

2 Likes

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