₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
@bold:

You genuinely believe this is all a husband needs to do to be a 'good husband'?

It is well.

Actually, yes. You build on that. There are not too many men like that out there available to you as a single older lady with kids

dontrulee:
Different strokes for different folks.
I like being alone, and I don't like too much talks. I can be with you and hardly speak ten sentences. I like to maintain my own lane

It is people who have not been really alone for a long time that always say they love being aone for long. Ask those who've been in solitary confinement

Solofresh2:
The issue with you women is that when the finally does these things, you will take it for granted and in the process pushing him away

Can’t say you lying.
Females are truly complex and perplexing

UnknownQueen:
You're right Kobo, and it's the reason why I've decided to go this route...

I'm ready to bear whatever consequences come with it....

After all I'm presently eating and drinking this consequence, nothing scares me again.

Care to elaborate? What consequences are you currently eating and drinking?

UnknownQueen:
No I'm not trying to corrupt her and create problems...Marriage is a societal construct and that's why it's not working..
I'm just trying to explore with her or him so we don't die of loneliness..
We don't necessarily have to F.....we can just explore ..

By trying to turn her into a lesbian like you?Wehdone

aswani:
You know exactly what is happening in marriages, I am going for this is true for as high as 85%.

True. But they persist and stay and raise the the children. And stay till one of them dies.
One old woman said she started living only after her long-time husband died

advanceDNA:
the way u read is weird....

First u harassed me because u were not patient to read that the op is a woman..

After days ...u have shifted goal post....pls tell me what exactly what u are looking for

You know full well that's a HUGE LIE! I never doubted anything about her or authenticity of her story. I am infact who singlehandedly brought it to Frontpage by tagging the mods.

You on the other hand spent enormous amounts of words and energy arguing she's NOT married!
Do you still believe she's not married?😅

advanceDNA:
Lol

So my first comment is not becos I hate her or women.b..but suddenly I hate women because ??

U don't have to agree with my comment madam..thas fine...
.but not agreeing is not the criteria of rushing into conclusion........ tomorrow if my comment is okay with you.....will it still be out of hate or something else??

What surprises me is how some of yiu folks will be on NL for years and still not be able to know the "voice" of a Nigerian woman. That's how I know that Kobojunkie cannot be a natural Nigerian woman. Can't you tell that I cannot be a Nigerian woman? I'm amazed at you folks who can't recognize "voice". Unless the person posts very little, you can't fool me!

joseph1832:
Duh. Im a nigerian. Wbats my business if Senegal won Americam presidency? Your statement is non sequitor.

"Her husband probably knows". Thats a whole lot of probably. The best way for her to communicate her lonliness to him, is via social media? On the pages of Nairaland?

Also, she is the only Woman name Rose in Nairaland, right? The way you jump and make assumptions, hope you didnt break a knee when making it?

My friend if Super Eagles wins Africa cup your heart will be filled with joy yet no one gives you a penny. Not everything is about money!

advanceDNA:
Hatred?? Baba...if u don't have what to say....i dont have to comment by force

Oh you don't realize you detaste women. Well, you do! It is probably subconscious

Ishilove:
She sounds like she is reading her own answers out of a book.

Exactly what I told him/her

Ishilove:
You'll know the experienced ones when they write and give true life scenarios, not those ones who don't know what they are writing about. Their experience is from the School of ''Trust Me, I Know What I'm Saying''

😅🤣
I have somebody in mind

UnknownQueen:
I'm trying to explore but with caution....

Well, stop exploring. It is UNNATURAL.
Banish that aspect of you

Tenrack:
😂😂😂 you sound like you know it all. Comrades let's join our hands together and pray for the spirit of discernment to fall upon OP. Shall we?

Amin!
😅😂

justloo:
Dear Rosey,

It’s very evident you love your husband and want him to reciprocate. I am a man of similar mode although I am emotionally present, her feelings matter so much to me, I care so much about her, 100% provider, hands on with house chores but my only problem - I am not romantic (well according to her)

She loves lovey-dovey-touchy and holding hands when we walk on the road but I am not like that. But ever since she brought it to my attention, I do hit and miss and she sees the effort I make. Her happiness means the world to me and I will even sacrifice my life for her to be happy.

Most men like me grew up in loving families but we didn’t see our fathers or the environment we grew up in show this PDA or romance. We grew up way to masculine and learn romance as much as we can but placing greater emphasis on providing for the family.

I suggest you write him a love letter detailing everything you feel and how much you long for him to be there. I want to believe that the thought of not knowing that he has been hurting you all these years and the fear of loosing you will make him to start putting the effort.

It’s a gradual process and you have to play a significant role in it to draw him out. He will respond to your stimuli albeit on a hit and miss basis until he catches up.

Please always communicate your needs and how you feel and watch how you will gradually get the love of your life back

Listen to this OP.
Real voice of experience

jiggyman:
Yeah but whats the proportion?!

Don't know but I've been with females who want your cum inside them all the time. They don't realise it is exhausting

Divoc19:
If your partner is not intentional about your relationship or marriage. Leave.
Don’t tie your life to one person. There are thousands out there unless you are scared of being alone or single.
What you are going through is hell.
I have been there before.
Since I stepped outta there, I have more peace than I can ever imagine.
Live your life for yourself and yourself alone.
Funk the World!

Sexyrosey

OP don't listen to this moniker. You said yourself you husband is a good person. There are not too many good persons out there

Tenrack:
I Neva talk finish, dem don dey advise her to go find "intentional" deeeek. This gender too dey predictable 😂😂 lmao. Always seeking to destroy themselves. Funny creatures. OP please take this advice and find yourself a "better" man. But when it goes sideways be sure to give us update abeg. 😂😂

grandstar:
If a man is cheating, he can forget his wife.

Some men take the wife for granted because she is his. The same can also happen to the woman.

She might put on a lot of weight. She might even have a potbelly. She dresses sloppily, tying wrapper most days. She doesn't go the extra mile to cook him something special. The spark could go out.

It is same for the man. Her loneliness may truly be real.

Well-said. It is a little like expecting a lion to appreciate the meat given to him in a cage as much as meat he hunted and killled.

MrSly:
You are 100% apt.

No he's not. Read his other comments

joseph1832:
Have you called your partner, and spoken to him about how you feel and what you're passing through?

Easier said than done. When both of you know that he knows exactly what's going on!

JooEeL:
That idiom "experience is the best teacher" slaps so hard when a woman hands u that experience.

Ur mumu with love go end finally. Seeing simps in love to annoy u

You ain't lying...
Till you meet another one that blows your mind and you turn mumu again!😅

Ishilove:
The ones who cannot even keep ordinary relationships are here giving advice on how to sustain a marriage, making baseless assumptions and infusing their bitterness into their answers. Even the ones who married rubbish and are regretting it also came to drop their "2 cents." By their fruits you shall know them.

Op SexyRosey, pray for the spirit of discernment to be able to separate the chaff from the wheat when the world is giving you their so called advice. It is only those who have walked in your shoes that can truly understand what you are going through.

No mind Kobojunkie and her/his chatgpt posts.
This person below is not too bad tho

Double0h7:
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to redirect your attention inwards.

Show yourself love, compassion, and kindness. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself.

Focus on your own self development, set goals for yourself and enjoy the dopamine boost when you achieve them.

The world mirrors back our beliefs and thoughts, so consider what you’re putting out there. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Don’t let these current feelings trick you into further self sabotage (looking for those things outside your marriage) and cause you to further hate yourself.

aswani:
Sorry to read this but based on experience, there are two sides to a story especially when it comes to marriage lamentations.

Start to derive your happiness from self and not others. Until you do that, you will never leave this horrible state you are in.

The romance books, glossy celebrity magazines, Nollywood movie, to name a few, are all fake and don't give a good or true reflection of life and relationships.

Also, ignore every single thing you read from Kobojunkie, she doesn't know Jack or has experienced anything, yet she will be the loudest (Anti male) noise in your thread. Misery loves company indeed.

I hope you can turn things round though it does read like the egg had cracked.

Also reflect on the part you have played, if any, to bring you to this point.

You go dey ok las las.

Correction:
Kobojunkie is trans female. Natural Nigerian females simply don't talk like that

advanceDNA:
Read her comments naaa....she said her husband is caring, provides and is a great dad...but because he's traditional makes him a bad husband

She never said he's bad. She actually said he's a good person

Ishilove:
No wonder the answer seems lifeless and contrived. Na robot dey talk. No wonder

Exactly. All you keep seeing is to solve loneliness is not from outside but from inside. Hogwash

JooEeL:
I am surprised men dont know this. If u and ur wife are in a serious long drawn out squabble, there would have been an onset of a cold war on who wins the kids over.

You think a woman who risked death, her body shape, her obho size, her youth basically, to birth those kids, and brsttfeed till d brssts lose some elasticity, will just leave u like that?? 😄

The guy better plays a very tight game cos d woman go don deh do mind control on d kids tay tay

But it is wicked to take kids from their mother no.matter what

JoeEeL:
Smile and pretend outside. Wear matching farher xmas clothing on xmas day and share on social media to "pepper dem"

Then when alone in d house, 2 of u sit far apart. U eat alone, u wonder wetin make u marry am. When she open clothe, u think of her past body count. U wonder if she been don do hookup before u marry am. She bills u for nepa money, scl fees, rent, money for inlaws, feeding... then u privately wonder whether ure not being used as a slave and marriage is one well disguised setup against men.

To make matters worse, high bp go wan kill u when u begin suspect say another man dey climb ur woman. U go see signs enh, trust issues go wan kpaai u 😃

😅🤣
Well-said!

JoeEeL:
How will a dog or a doll cure loneliness bro. I'm curious. But yes I agree its mostly waste of time discussing ur life issues with the avg woman. She'll be using it to project ur life and how she fits in. Its always about selfishness

Only people who never had dogs will say this. It is EXACTLY like having a baby that is totally dependent on you

Tenrack:
I dey pity am. She don dey dey "bored" na their way be that. Before you know she don dey hop another "spontaneous, and intentional" Gbolciois Gbola, then later gets dumped. She go come realize the treasure wey she get before. I've seen this script play out many times. Women no dey learn from others mistake. Dem must experience am by force. 😂😂

No be only women, men too. It is possible the hubby has a sidechick he's in love with

JoeEeL:
Then why waste money on a wedding? Why keep funding d home when ure just a mere appendage?

So a man will spend so much to raise a family only to be neglected and now becomena bookworm. Mtcheew. If u even said find a 2nd wife, I for talk say u make sense

OP is a WOMAN! Married with kids!
Do you people read at all?

streetsoldier1:
I

Lets talk privately.... I got tips for u

OP be careful
I didn't say anything o

advanceDNA:
Lol….. show me what exactly she did from what she wrote…..baba… thats how pple that do next to nothing sound.. Vague!!!
She ddnt say anything specific about how she poured love into the relationship and thats why i was specific with those question…and her response to me was still vague..

If there’s only one thing ive come to know about that gender is that they overestimate their worth in your life.… ordinary to visit you Is seen as huge favour for many of them as they expect you repay by paying their transport to and fro..

They will say they suffered with you & made you who u are when the real picture is she ddnt really have any planB and all the while during ur struggling days you were using your small salary to take care of them and pay all the bills & rent alone….buy land alone, build house alone..etc..

Is it not the same gender that will visit you and be giving you green light with, “i will soon be going oooo”


Baba.. many of them are used to expecting men to keep the spark alive from dating stage…because they already believe they are doing you greater favour by agreeing to date you or have consensual sex…

if u want to find out just how little women do to keep the romantic spark alive...do a survey here and you will hear what most men will say… only few guys will tell you their wives or babe make the first romantic, nice gestures regularly…..they believe sex is ultimate, which they never see as mutual and thats why you will hear them talk about sex as something they “give” you

Your reasoning is clouded by your hatred for the fairer sex. If you read between the lines this is a TIRED woman. You don't become tired from doing nothing