₦airaland Forum

yemmit90:
Lolz, you never had encounter with a terrible partner, reason you think you can motivate them to love you. Let me tell you this, a bad person is always a bad person irrespective of the gender they belong. And why do you think people settled for divorce? Couples opted for divorce when one of them must have exhausted every peaceful step and love to make it work.

No mind am. The advanceDNA of a guy has serious problems

Whois:
Happiness is an individual thing. Nuff said

How about loneliness?
This is about lonliness

Ketamine9000mg:
A lot of people have said many things. I hoped someone would share something like this. My message right now feels like a needle in a haystack. It is possible this happened to me or to a friend, or that AI helped in making it up—it doesn’t matter.

So, let’s go.

My wife is a very beautiful woman. She has her flaws. After we got married, all I could see were her flaws. We grew apart. We barely acted like a couple. We could go for weeks without having any physical contact. At some point, I started having an affair.

I read a lot—relevant and irrelevant stuff. Let’s just say I have a mind that wants to know. I once read a book. It had nothing to do with relationships, marriage, or romance. It was a book that described habits and how to master and change them if you want to. However, the book used an illustration: if you want to be rich, behave in small, daily ways exactly like rich people do. If you want to be a good husband, behave daily the way good husbands behave. Over time, this becomes a habit.

So I started.

I started kissing my wife when she opened the door for me after work. I started spanking her behind when I saw her cooking in the kitchen. I started assisting her around the house. When we sat late at night in the living room, I started resting her head on my lap (we used to sit on different chairs). This triggered something in her, and she started making her own effort to meet me halfway.
When I first started, it was awkward. I kissed her and she gave an expression like, “Which day did this one start?” But over time, it became natural to us, and we started looking forward to it.

Right now, all I talk about is my loving wife. I am now a faithful, loving and happy husband.

Trust me—before marriage, you and your partner had deep love or at least physical desire for each other, and it’s probably just hidden right now. You can ignite it again by doing small romantic things regularly.

John F. Kennedy’ said and I quote “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”

So I rephrase, ask not what your man can do for you—ask what can you do for your partner.

This might not work, but what else do you have to lose?

Depends on the kind of person the spouse is. Always does.

Very good, insightful write-up tho

sonofthunder:
1. Try and love yourself. Have your own fun and activities that are for you. I'm not saying you should redirect your focus or efforts cause that will year your marriage apart.

2. Try and initiate things with your husband. Outings, visits, dates, etc.

3. Discuss what you want with your husband. Anything you haven't constructively tried to trash out with him at least 3 times should not be heard by an outsider.

Suppose he's in love with someone. Did you consider that?

Freshandfitpod:
marry two more wives.

And who'll finance that?

Kobojunkie:
if you were to find yourself with a woman who left you lonely like OP is now...say 5 years from now you find that you, like OP have been pouring water into an empty basket.. would you also buy into this Jesus and the power of his name will make it all magically ok somehow suggestion you may have the Op? 🥱🥱🥱

Actually Lord Jesus does exactly that. Don't downlook what you haven't tried

RosyIsBlessed:
That means one party has left the marriage already. Just the body remain inside the marriage

Many marriages are exactly like this. But they persist and accomplish what marriages are for - raise children!

bibiking7:



If it was all good before then became stale. The time spent in writing this post could also have been spent talking to your spouse to find out whats really going on.
You know your spouse well. The internet in-laws dont know your spouse as much as you do. Some people mirror affection and attitude.
If you are telling us how lonely you feel, why not tell your spouse too. Make an effort. The write up sounds like you have found someone else and just looking for justification.

Communication is very very important

I don't think the "found someone" part is right. See her very first post on NL (she only has 13) - she was looking for friend

Teymanhenry:
Loneliness in marriage often comes from silence, not absence. Pride, ego, and poor communication make us withdraw instead of speaking up. We expect perfection from our partners, forget they’re human, and slowly create distance through unmet expectations.
Other causes include unresolved conflicts, emotional neglect, lack of appreciation, poor listening, busy schedules, and constant comparisons.
The solution is simple: choose humility over pride, communicate clearly, ask instead of assuming, appreciate small efforts, make time to connect, and resolve issues early.
Marriage thrives not on perfection, but on understanding and intentional effort.

Depends on who you're dealing with. There is power dynamic in marriage. Some spouses will gleefully use that humility against you (mama Nkechi is suddenly humble )

QuinQQ:
Well said Kobo.
Though some people ENJOY being lonely and crying about it, and telling everybody how lonely they are!

joseph1832:
what was sexyrosey given after she made frontpage?

Did she even get a thank you from the mods or even the admin?

Well, what did you get after Senegal won? Therein lies your answer.
Plus she got a whole bunch of advice.
And her husband now probably knows (he'll put 2 and 2 together - and her name is right there, Rose!). Probably why she's disappeared since (see below).

SpencerForbes:
Let's be real: you only want to marry her for selfish reasons. If she were actually looking for guys like you, she would’ve been married a hundred times over by now. I’m sure her DMs are packed with millions of people just hoping to catch a bit of her "stardust." Honestly, you’re better off hustling harder on your own so you can shine without needing to lean on a wife’s fame.

You say you’d marry her, but you need to tell yourself the truth. You aren't any different from those "yahoo boys" who marry older women just for a green card or a paycheck. If you can’t be honest with yourself, I’ll do it for you: if the fame disappeared and she was just a regular woman in your neighborhood, you’d probably be the first person judging her.

She isn't looking for someone like you. She’s looking for the man who can look her in the eye and say, "I don't need your money or your fame, I just want to be here with you." That’s what real love actually looks like.

But this is exactly what I told you in the beginning and you said it is not true!!!
See the conversation below!

SpencerForbes:
What history book are you even talking about? There isn’t one—unless it’s the one where you’re labeled a gold digger. I never said she’d never get married; I’m saying people like you are desperate because you’re after something. You claim you love her for her voice, but you keep dodging my question: what happens when that voice is gone? That’s the real test of "love."

If you’re marrying Tiwatope Omolara, you’re also marrying Tiwa Savage, and her private life is likely nothing like what you see on screen. Everyone thought Tonto was the saint and Churchill was the villain until the truth came out. So, let’s be real—if she wasn’t a star, but just a neighbor who parties all weekend, smokes, and has a history of sex tapes, would you honestly want her raising your kids? No.

We both know the truth: you just want that "stardust" to rub off on you. You’re there for a reason, and the moment the fame fades, you’ll be gone in a heartbeat. Honestly, I just hope you wouldn’t disappear with her money too.

Listen to yourself, "what happens when that voice is gone?". Does beauty stay forever? Does even character not change? Nothing stays same forever.
Point is, people wabt to marry her no matter the reason. So stop saying no one wants to marry her!

SpencerForbes:
That’s just not true. She was a person long before she became "Tiwa Savage." That stage persona is just what she shows the public, but the fame and stardom can be a lot to handle. I’m sure what she actually needs is someone who can look past all that and just see a woman worth loving.

Tiwa is for the fans, but would you still be there when the spotlight fades and you’re left with Tiwatope Omolara? When the fake smiles for the cameras are gone and she’s just exhausted from shows, wanting nothing but peace and time alone—could you handle that? Forget the celebrity you see on TV. Can you actually accept her real, private life?

This guy, I don't want to say you're dense. Are you marrying the stage persona? So her "real private life" is the worst in the world? What is your problem? You're marrying a beautiful 45-yr-old single mother who also happens to be a super star, which will definitely rub off on you. Infact the moment you marry her you enter the history books. They're all part of the equation and all part of what you have to take into account when you keep saying no one wants to marry her!

SpencerForbes:
Youth? Is a woman like Iya Yusuf not considered a youth too? Loving her "for who she is" sounds good on paper, but if all those superficial things you listed were gone, would you actually stay? Imagine she got burnt, lost her looks, and couldn't sing anymore—would you still be there?

Be honest with yourself: if she wasn't "Tiwa Savage" but just your next-door neighbor, would you seriously consider her after everything she's done in the past? You don't have to answer me, but you should definitely take a moment to think about it.

That is the point, genius! Being Tiwa is part of who she is! There is no "who she is" if you discount her beauty, youth, sweet voice, stardom, etc. Same applies to Iya and everybody!

SpencerForbes:
If you wouldn’t marry a random woman her age but you’re willing to marry Tiwa, then talking about her "star power" just proves you’re exactly like every other guy. Let’s be real—you don’t love her for who she is; you’re just into the fact that she’s a famous artist.

What happens when the polished voice you hear on the radio turns out to be a regular, tired voice in the bedroom? You’ll probably walk away. You claim you won't marry a 40-year-old woman, yet you’re willing to lower your standards—or even take her surname—just because it’s Tiwa. You’re no different from the rest, and honestly, people with that mindset are exactly why she’s so hesitant to settle down with just anyone.

I find it amazing that people like you actually exist.
Please explain to us how to marry someone "for who she is"! Isn't her beauty, sweet voice, youth all part of who she is and can all go away with time? What is wrong with you??!

YOU LOST!😅

SpencerForbes:
If it was Iya Yusuf, would you be saying the same thing? I guess not so you have hidden agenda.

Of course not! Does Iya have the star dust of Tiwa?
Imagine hearing my wife's voice playing on the radio, and you're comparing that to Iya. Point is, countless men would love to marry Tiwa right now!

jaxxy:
For woman disrespect begins and ends with the mouth and words mostly and rebel actions wirhout touching u or goung physical.

You can playfully hold her and refuse to let her go till she apologizes. If weaker, you don't have that option

thesicilian:
Forced marriage, first thought that came to my mind on seeing the headline. It's a very outdated traditional practice, even the one that claims to love you still falls out of love later for one reason or the other not to talk of outrightly forcing someone to live with you.

Yeah? How about all the millions of forced marriages that succed? Infact in the old days it was the parents that chose a girl's hudband

jaxxy:
Does she touch u when she disrespects u? So why do u want to hold her?

Did the short man tell u he cant cuddle his big wife?

Give example of this "disrespect" you keep talking about.
A shorter (weaker) guy can't playfully hold his woman and won't let her go

SpencerForbes:
So, because he sleeps alone, that means he needs a woman? That’s honestly the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. 😂 I actually watched the video expecting him to say he needed someone, but he never did. Him being single is clearly a choice, not because he can't get a lady. If he wanted to be with someone, he would be—he just doesn’t want to. I haven't heard him say he’s looking for marriage or even open to it, but feel free to prove me wrong.

As for you saying you’d marry Tiwa, I’m sure your family would jump at the chance because they’d love a taste of her wealth and fame. Let's be real—if she were just a random 45-year-old single mom, you’d get hit with so much backlash and probably become the laughing stock of your community. The reality is, you aren't any different from the guys who have a hidden agenda.

Did you also watch where he said he doesn't like being alone?? Of course he's looking for someone, but the right person - just like Tiwa.
It'd be the greatest honor of my life to marry Tiwa Savage and I have absolutely no hidden agenda and want absolutely nothing from her. Just to be called Tiwa Savage's husband is already worth millions

jaxxy:
Yes cos shes not forcing or touching u just words but ur height has no real advantage cos she isnt bothered by it. She will still disrespect u and u can't beat her up even if u can.

But you can HOLD her!!! That's s HUGE advantage you keep ignoring. Amidst that disrespect you can hold her, which usually leads from "let me go" to s*x. Something u can't do if weaker

SpencerForbes:
The issue isn’t that she’s too picky; it’s that she’s looking for someone who won't just use her and leave. She’s likely seen it all—rich, kind, successful guys—but realized that most men ultimately prioritize youth and loyalty. At her level of exposure, it’s hard to find a man who doesn’t have a hidden agenda or isn't just waiting to leave her for someone "innocent."

The reality is that men like Elon Musk or Dangote have much better options because men are comfortable dating "down," whereas women usually date "up." A man can turn a girl from the slums into a queen, but it’s unlikely she’d ever settle for a broke guy. At her age and status, finding someone who truly loves her for her is a massive challenge. That’s the reality of life.

And it's not also a massive challenge 4 Dangote and Musk?? (Finding someone who truly loves them 4 them). Same reason Musk and Dangote are NOT married is exactly same reason Tiwa is not married. I mean, I'm ready to MARRY her right now, as are many, many men.
Here's Musk below saying he's lonely and sleeps alone at night. I know people like you will think it is because he can't get a woman, and give all sorts of reasons why he can't get a woman!

https://youtube.com/shorts/55FKhmti93s?si=BSNImIllpnQanSFe

SpencerForbes:
Are you talking about the same Tiwa who mentioned being open to being a second wife? Or did you miss that in the news? There’s nothing "picky" about them needing a man at this point. The only real quality they’re looking for is someone who won't break their heart. Honestly, even a guy who’s broke could marry them if he carries himself like someone responsible, so forget that "picky" narrative. That luxury definitely doesn't exist for women approaching menopause.

Do you even know that Tiwa is a celebrity musician. Do you even know she has a fan base of men that'll even kill for her talkless of marrying her? But she doesn't want to marry them! She wants a certain kind of man!
Both Elon Musk and Dangote are also single. Why don't u say it is because they can't find a woman willing to marry them??

jaxxy:
I think ure confused. a smaller wife Bullying a bigger husband isn't oppressive it's usually tho it can be and it's usually the husband that allows it.

Size doesn't bring respect or fear in relationships. I've seen a tiny woman with a giant man and she's not afraid or intimidated by his Size rather she enjoys using it for her advantage.

Speaking of being confused, here's what u wrote:
"a smaller wife Bullying a bigger husband isn't oppressive it's usually tho it can be and it's usually the husband that allows it"
Read it. After that we'd decide who is confused!
"she enjoys using it for her advantage"
How? I thought u said there are no advantages?
So u see, u r confused because:
YOU LOST!😅

Good one

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SpencerForbes:
Funny how they’re all over social media declaring they’re ready for a husband. If they truly felt "complete" on their own, they wouldn't be making such a big deal about needing someone else. At the end of the day, you only go looking for what you feel you’re lacking.

Ok, you honestly believe Tiwa needs a man and can't get one? She doesn't NEED a man (exactly what this lady is saying). She WANTS a certain kind of man in a very picky sort of way!

Everybody is just claiming to be alive. PROVE IT!

SpencerForbes:
She should probably take those questions to people like Nancy Isime or Tiwa Savage. At the end of the day, someone’s likely going to end up getting her pregnant and leaving her as a baby mama; then she’ll just join the "men are scum" club as another single mom.

What makes you think those women are not happy with their lives?

DrFunmisticGlow:
why does she need to ruin her body and health for prick. If na pikin she want, adoption dey.

Because that's how your genes survive. Adoption doesn't accomplish that.
Besides, who'd be father figure to the kids?
Who'd give her a sense of security just from his bigger, stronger presence?
Also, a pet cannot watch and discuss old movies/books with her on cold nights while cuddling under covers!