₦airaland Forum

991: nice one; if na for naija, one of them for don dey vex say god don bless the other pass am.

shut ur stewpid mouth up...

R2bees: haaa, them try o... I no sure say this kind thing fit happen for 9ja...

must everything be about naija

mutaalim: Haba sneezing is a mercy from Allah (SWT)

I pull out my gun and shoot the person instantly...I'm a NOSNEEZIAN

BrutusOj: Be positive minded for once dude..when wud we Nigerians av positive mind abt our own tins?haba....Eagles go,u got our suport

nigerians kill their image and reputation

Emperor5c: Ability 2 flog NL moderators 4rm d comfort of ma home

lol...I would give anything to be a vampire...I'll relish the taste of BLLLOOOD!!!!

Adufaye: Loading post.......


Downloading comment....

95%......

100%..Beautiful ugly handsum gals

these girls look violently ugly

~Bluetooth:
There will be a selection by the pdp and jonathan will be imposed on Nigerians.End of discussion.

shut up son

Jilo83: See meat o

I'm actually eating spiders now

mudistr: is mami water dat born dis gal
*packs bag and heads to asaba-enugu*

gbagaun!!!

diji04: (1)VAMPIRE DAIRY.(2)DEEP BLUE(3)TRUE BLOOD(4)EVERYBODY HAVE CHRIS.

vampire diaries is total class...DAMON NAILED IT

free2ryhme: well well...


because say u no dey chop am no mean say people no dey chop 3 sq meal ... even beggars dey eat 3 sq meal ... useless question making front page

the question shocked me beyond human recognition...if Ʊ dey hungry...abeg tell us

goldfish80: Because of †ђξ crystal clear water,Igbo Lake in. Montana seems shallow but in reality is 80cm(370feet) in depth... Amazing

.

goldfish80: Gulf of alaska, where two oceans meet but never mix up!!

fantastic

goldfish80: Because of †ђξ crystal clear water,Igbo Lake in. Montana seems shallow but in reality is 80cm(370feet) in depth... Amazing

nice view but I dare Ω̶oτ ⇒ close to the lake...its a phobia

brightk: wetin u come comment.... now... mayb na free internet access u get...stop this childish act... u nor know ur age again if u dont remember ask ur mama or go bak 2 ur certificate

STFU old hag...always forming what ur not

Gombs: Weird enough,it's ladies who asks such questions most atimes

A girl catches her BF having sexxx wit another lady, and she asks "baby,What r u doing?"

He replied "Bible study"

When People C U Lying Down, Wid Ur Eyes Closd Dy Still Ask:- R U Sleepin?

Ans:No! Am Trainin 2 Die.

When It's Rainin & Some1 Notices U Goin Out, Dey Ask: - R U Going Out In Dis Rain?

Ans:No,in The Next 1.

Ur Friend Calls Ur Home Fone:- Where R U?

Ans: At De Bus Stop!

Dey See U Wet Comin 4rm De Bathroom:- Did U Just Hav A Bath?

Ans: No, I Fell In De Toilet Bowl !

U R Standin Rite In Front Of De Elevator On The Ground Floor & Dey Ask:- Goin Up?

Ans: No, No, Em Waitin 4 My Apartmnt 2 Come Down & Get Me.

U Bring A Bunch Of Flowers 4 Ur Sweet Heart & Dey Ask:- R Dose
Flowers?

Ans:No Baby! Dey R Carrots.

U'r On The Queue 2 Buy Tickets at D Cinema, A Friend Saw U & Ask:- Wat R U Doin Here?

Ans: Em Here 2 Pay My Uni
Fee

*hits head on the floor while laughing*

Emusan: Funny questions people ask in obvious situations

1. At market: hey! What are u doing here?
Ans: Dont u know! I sell vegetables here.

2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes steps on ur feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Ans :not at all. I'm on local anesthesia. Why dont you try again?

3.When u get woken up at midnight by a phone cal:
sorry! Were u sleeping?
Ans: No! I was doing a research whether earth is round or not. You thought i was sleeping!

4.When you see a friend with evidently short hair: hey! Hv u had a haircut?
Ans: nah! Its autumn season and I'm shedding...

5. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Why, why him, of all people.
Ans:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

7. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Oh, so you smoke.
Ans:- Gosh, it's a miracle it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

8. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Is the guy you're marrying good?
Ans:- No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just his teeth.

can't stop laughing...joke section please

ekt_bear: Interesting.

the thing make sense sha...*3rd to comment*..*faints*

ChEkWaS IyKe :
I like her xter. If is Nigeria ladies, over ego no go allow dem do dis kind fin. Naija ladies take note.

I hope ur sister and mother are naija people too...

hrmkz: Red button jooor.

Ʊ spoke my mind

Super1759: olu4life should shut the phuk-up! And mind his biz, if he gat no biz and is jobless,
he should mob the lagoon!!!!!!

simple and short...

olu4life: While we are on the subject of end of
year lists, this one should be really
important. There are certain people who have made it their business to ensure that we hear the sound of their voices in the New Year. We are sending this list up to Heaven as a prayer request – we want to hear them no more in 2013.

1. Osaze Peter Odemwingie: What is it about grown men that makes them lose all sense of… sense once they sign into Twitter? Osaze does it all – rant, whine, moan, and make a grand fool of himself as we have seen on full display over the past few weeks just because the national team made a wise decision to call him bluff. To make matters worse, he can’t even string a correct English sentence together. Just go away, Peter. (Read ‘Osaze lacks respect… We can’t continue to baby-sit him’ – Joseph Yobo HERE]

2. Doyin Okupe: What purpose exactly, does this elephant in the room, serve in the government of Goodluck Ebele Jonathan? We all know already that he is ineffective, making statements that rile even members of the President’s own party. And even though I evidently see that he enjoys the role of a lowly attack dog much too much, it still doesn’t make it right that this administration has inflicted this torture upon us. If you must get an attack dog, at least get ones who
thinks before he talks, Aso Rock please.

3. Kola Boof: Predictably, all hell will be let loose once her Google Alert informs her of this rare mention of her name in the media. Rare, but not for want of trying. From picking fights with Nigerian blogger Linda Ikeji (and then calling her “my sister” five minutes after) to claiming that she “deep throats” actor Djimon Honsou (who of course ran as far away from her as any sane man would), the once-upon-a-time author Kola Boof has been a machine of Twitter scandals and transparent attention-seeking.
Unfortunately, she is not even nearly interesting enough.

4. Jim Iyke: This man certainly is in front of the list of those whose feet are permanently in their mouths, and it is mission successful: Iyke has in the past few months irrevocably de-mystified himself on social media. It is almost impossible to have followed his Twitter and Facebook rants – against real and perceived enemies, bloggers, baby mamas, haters from Abuja and those who accuse him of being an incurable gigolo – and still take him seriously. Then, to make matters worse, in the only one serious movie he did this year – Last Flight to Abuja – he also messed up. Jim, stop talking to the public. Lock yourself in a room and focus on giving yourself a good talking to. This is now an emergency. [Read 'Be my guest baaaaaaaaaastard' - Blogger writes Jim Iyke a friendly letter' HERE]

5. Donald Trump: Between all those moronic tweets he ends up deleting, the public put-down by his friend Barbara Walters, and reports that his children have let him away from his computer slowly, yeah you kind of have to feel sorry for Donald Trump. He has asked for Obama’s birth certificate, and been ridiculed for it, asked for his university degrees, suggested the United States elections were rigged, and had multiple nervous breakdowns in the full glare of the world over the past year. Is he having ANY sex at all?! ‘Cause you see, that can be a problem…

6. Dokubo Asari: Only in a country like Nigeria will a clown like Dokubo even be taken seriously, but here we are. The “former” militant who now sits on a Federal Government board now has a clear modus – when you get hungry, criticise Jonathan… and wait for manna to drop. He has said so many wildly contradictory things this year, and switched his position so very many times, I am surprised how he is able to even catch his breath. Someone, drown him in the creeks, please.

7. Labaran Maku: For thanking Goodluck Jonathan for bringing Facebook in Nigeria, this man just needs to go. Yes, I know he said this like 100 years ago, but I don’t care. He has not made any sense since then until now. He has to go. Enough is enough.

8. Femi Fani-Kayode: Bless his heart, you just have to wonder why Fani-Kayode is yet to kick off a successful career as a spy novelist. Seriously, anyone who can “reveal” the existence of blood sucking demons in the ministry of aviation, believe publicly in the existence of the Illuminati and try (and try and try again) to convince us that Barack Obama just might be the anti-Christ should be a literary legend. Very unfortunately, Fani-Kayode is damn serious about all these things he says. If I were a family member, seriously, I’d be very worried. Pray for him. [Read 'Femi Fani-Kayode asks: Can Obama be trusted?' HERE]

9. Marilyn Ogar: If you don’t know her… Well you should. The spokesperson of the State Security Service is that angry, scary woman who comes on television frequently and says the very first thing that comes to her head. It could be “The SSS employs crazy-looking women who don’t have any sense of occasion and actually make us frightened if these are the kinds of people that work in the nation’s intelligence networks” and she will certainly say it. Just like that. No pausing to think. It would be funny, if her position wasn’t actually so important. Seriously don’t her bosses know just how BAD she is on TV?!

10. Charly Boy actually came out in public and said he has a female “person” inside of him called Linda. A grandfather said this! In PUBLIC! The end.

the op should be the 11th person on the list...get a life punk

Elgaxton: What's the guy's name?

I don't remember her mentioning a name, he could just be a she

must she tell Ʊ her lovers name...why won't nigerians get a life instead of hating on someone who can feed Ʊ and ur family for a very long time...if it were beyonce or rihanna it would be swagger...WTF

danny301: The fifa 1X is wouldn't have been anything better than this..... Individually this players are the best in their respective positions..... The mid-field is perfect.... if you question what Xavi did last year or any other year for that matter then i doubt if you really watch foot-fall.... as for RVP, it's an insult to the sensitivities of foot ball fans all over the world to mention RVP when they are talking about messi and ronado or even falcao..... You cannot compare that tired leg ur called Cole with Marcelo neither can you compare vidic who has not played 90 minutes for several months with either pique or ramos.

dull head..never Ʊ compare ashley cole with ur marcelo...besides marcelo under performed even b4 injury struck

siddiq202: Bitter truth...LA LIGA ROCKS

how many la liga matches do you watch except barca vs madrid

Nate overlord: . oya nau!! $Licker dan blackberry sha!!

dicepticon punk

timpaker: It looks more like the Sony Ericson Xperia

my thoughts exactly...but d phone make sense sha

Ich_el: This in NL frontpage **smh**

if Ʊ can't stand it then DIE

the.game:
Am scared to death that i will never be Afraid

owl city don kill Ʊ finish...*laughing*

Lashawnah: Dear Tonto Dikeh,

I know you feel beautiful this morning! Well, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. For me, you are nowhere near ‘beautiful’. You are just there. But before I tell you what I really want to tell you, I need to tell you something. There is a lady called Adele. She is a singer. She sings. I need to explain what a singer means, because I understand that you have no brain at all. Because I hate sugar-coating, I am hated by a lot of people. You are just like me too. I will understand when people hate you, but, seriously, if you think Igbo men are nosy, then, you are right. That is your opinion and you must protect it.

I am an Igbo man. I will defend myself right now. Back to Adele. I will tell you everything about this young lady who transformed herself into something very beautiful in the eyes of men. I also understand that you don’t know her, but it won’t hurt if I tell you about her now. This is what TIME magazine wrote about her few days ago: “As talented and appealing as she is, few could foresee how utterly dominant Adele would be in 2011: in an era where even the highest-tier musical acts can struggle to move records, her sophomore effort, 21, sold 17 million copies worldwide and spent 16 weeks at the top of the Billboard 200 chart, the longest for any record since 1998's Titanic sound track. Combined with sales of her previous album, 19, Adele has topped the U.K. charts for 21 weeks — a feat matched only by the bands Oasis and Queen.” Tonto nne m, Adele is 23. You are older. She is not worried about her future. You are. She is focused about her music.

You are worried that no Igbo man will marry you after you’ve created yourself into a bamboo stick. Truth is that I don’t know you personally, but you’ve created a strong mystery around yourself. People see you as a soul from hell. They say you’ve sold your soul to the devil. Me, I don’t know where the devil lives, but I think you have. You even went ahead to show us tattoos at your back. I just didn’t understand why you did that. As an Igbo man, I will never marry a woman who has shown the entire world ‘my tattoos.’ It is not good. I am an Igbo man, so I will
need to know who snapped the picture. Maybe, your secret boyfriend? This is the reason why we are bad, abi? Adele doesn’t go around seeking attention. She doesn’t pay anyone to publish pictures of her tattoos. Who knows? She may just have a lot of them. I haven’t seen them. I have seen yours.

There is nothing wrong in you tattooing your entire body, but what is my business with that? Are you not supposed to be an actress? Of course, I understand that you appear in pornographic films now? That is good. At least, you are doing what you know best. But to pick on Igbo men? This is very unacceptable. You insulted a lot of us. This simply shows how unintelligent you are towards anthropology. Men are the same all over the world. Igbo man, Yoruba man, Hausa man. We all treat women in similar ways. We love unconditionally. And we all become nosy when our women start acting like you. If your father is an Igbo man, dearest Tonto Dikeh, you are a monkey. But I will be sorry if you didn’t say that. I only rely on the media, since I don’t know you
personally. If you didn’t say it, Tonto, I am very sorry. I will publicly apologise. Yet, I believe you did, because you do so many things after marijuana. If it’s not good for your brain, stop smoking. Listen to Adele’s Someone Like You and you will feel good.

I don’t look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Onyeka Nwelue

who d hell is this beast of burden writing such nonsense...little wonder why she hates igbo men...#always hating on success#

Sunny_bobo: To think that both governors are PDP governors, you begin to wonder what the opposition are on about PDP.

you took the words right out of my mouth