₦airaland Forum

In light of the many changes going on in Nigeria at the moment, some may ask, what does it mean to be a man » today? Unfortunately for men, the response from most people is a misconception. It’s easy to misconstrue the definition of a real man in the midst of physical and psychiatric problems » , economic woe, educational underachievement and stunted emotions looming large. Here are five of the biggest misconceptions » about the Nigerian man today.

1. Men are simple:
One of the greatest myths that damages Nigerian men in the long run is stereotypes. There is a wrong notion that male children need to be worn out with exercise, feeding, washing, and occasionally patting on the head. But, this one- size-fits-all view of boys is damaging us seriously. We seem to have difficulty acknowledging that boys have deep emotional lives. Great young men want to have great emotional lives, but everywhere they turn, people are forcing them to live the stereotype of being a sexist, not- caring, emotionally disengaged, superficial guy. Then, we get angry when they cross the line. But we are the ones who shuts boys up from being emotionally engaged people. Solution: Let’s permit our sons to do whatever they find interest, especially those that aren’t too ‘manly’, rather than forcing them on the Football and Wrestling teams.
2. It’s easy for men without children:
Usually, men without children are the envy of their dad friends, as they don’t get kicked in the ribs by toddlers at 5am every day, and own things which have been either smashed, or covered in unidentifiable foodstuffs. However, workplace data shows that men with children tend to earn more than men without and even more, if you have a second child. In addition, research in 2013 by the British Sociological Association found that men without children tend to suffer depression, isolation and anger more. Solution: Respect the man without children that has to stay back at work very late while all the fathers head off to be with their kids at 5:30pm.
3. Boys enjoy school better than girls:
There is the prevalent Mean Girls stereotype, which makes it appear as though girls have a worse time in secondary school, especially, than boys. But, statistics suggest that school is a far more damaging environment for young men. Four-fifths of those permanently excluded from school are boys; their motor skills are less developed and attention spans are shorter, making learning more tedious and misbehavior more likely. Also, the gap between female and male academic success is widening each year. Solution: Don’t be quick to dismiss the ‘rantings’ and complaints of boys in school as a chance to ‘toughen up’.
4. Women are way more emotional than men:
This is a ridiculous ideology backed by years of quiet stoicism and terrible jokes about how women get hysterical when they’re premenstrual. According to a 2010 study in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, it was discovered that relationships take a bigger toll on young men’s mental health. Also, they benefit more from a successful long term relationship and tend to invest more in ongoing relationships, seeing issues in them as a threat to "their identity and feelings of self worth" in a way that women are less likely to. Solution: If you see a friend having a hard time, ask them how they are, instead of saying "You’re okay, right?" And remember that emotional discussions don’t have to begin and end in a fight.
5. Body image is a female issue:
Studies have revealed that the number of men talking in ways that promoted anxiety about their bodies was actually higher than that of women. More troubling was the fact that a good number of men said that they would sacrifice a year of their life for the perfect body. Around the same number said that they exercised in a "driven or compulsive way" to watch their weight and/or control their appearance. The age when men drink less, gym more and take way more supplements is here but we choose to ignore those facts. Solution: Stop calling people derogatory nicknames and above all, be kind to yourself and to your friends.

These are some of the core myths concerning men in our society. Please add any more you may have in the comment section.

BuddhaPalm:
When a woman wants to fvck you, first, she tests your mettle: "How strong is your desire?"

When your desire is strong, you will not be fazed by any changes in her demeanor.

You will not be deterred by whatever comes out of her mouth.

When your desire is strong, you will not "make jokes", you will not hide your intent behind a joke.

And finally, the best way to get out of the friendzone is to not get into it in the first place. Let there be a pen1s behind your actions.

Thanks for this...