₦airaland Forum

I and my daughter passed a group of angry politicians whose candidate lost an election and the following discussion took place.
Daughter- why are this people's face like this?
I- they are angry.
Daughter- why are they angry?
I- there candidate lost an election.
Daughter- wow! Who are they?
I- you are disturbing me, its APC.
Daughter- she laughed out loud and said 'Angry Peoples Congress'.
I couldn't help it but laugh along,
Children of these days know a lot and what to know a lot.

SHOCKING NEWS It has been recorded that at least 13 person has died in a small village of Amaekpu, in Ohafia LGA of Abia State since last week. This increasing death rate has been linked to epidemic outbreak with the symptom of vomiting and swollen stomach that keeps it's victim for 2days. This has raised dust and panic among the people of Ohafia. After an autopsy result conducted on dead victims, group of doctors led by Dr Ifeanyi Felix O from FMC Umuahia found out that this death is caused by an induced deadly poison which where injected into cows. Nigerians has thus been advised to consume beef with caution as Fulani herdsmen has decided to use this avenue to reduce the population of Eastern states. After a close examination, medical advice has been given to cook beef thoroughly with enough onions and to constantly consume raw onions after eaten beef or food cooked with beef because of its sulfur content (aliypropyl disulphide) which help to neutralize this poison as its cure is still unknown. But to stay safe, it is advised to stop the consumption of beef. Please pass around to inform others.

Do we know that the increase in fuel price is a phenomenon round the world. The pump price for a liter of fuel is 100 dollars in America. The instability in crude oil price and our peculiar situation with the dollar, should make the matter worse in no distant time to the extent that we might pay #400 per liter. If the govt said #145 is the maximum that could be sold no matter the condition In the next 5yrs and we could have a legal agreement to that, then its a Win Win situation for us becos when it rises above #145 the govt. Will have to subsidize it. The govt can use the current subsidy funds to carry out capital projects( esp. Electricity) to reduce our over dependency on fuel and save for the rainy day than to keep feeding those elite dogs at the expense of development in the name of subsidy.

Do we know that the increase in fuel price is a phenomenon round the world. The pump price for a liter of fuel is 100 dollars in America. The instability in crude oil price and our peculiar situation with the dollar, should make the matter worse in no distant time to the extent that we might pay #400 per liter. If the govt said #145 is the maximum that could be sold no matter the condition In the next 5yrs and we could have a legal agreement to that, then its a Win Win situation for us becos when it rises above #145 the govt. Will have to subsidize it. The govt can use the current subsidy funds to carry out capital projects( esp. Electricity) to reduce our over dependency on fuel and save for the rainy day than to keep feeding those elite dogs at the expense of development in the name of subsidy.

Do we know that the increase in fuel price is a phenomenon round the world. The pump price for a liter of fuel is 100 dollars in America. The instability in crude oil price and our peculiar situation with the dollar, should make the matter worse in no distant time to the extent that we might pay #400 per liter. If the govt said #145 is the maximum that could be sold no matter the condition In the next 5yrs and we could have a legal agreement to that, then its a Win Win situation for us becos when it rises above #145 the govt. Will have to subsidize it. The govt can use the current subsidy funds to carry out capital projects( esp. Electricity) to reduce our over dependency on fuel and save for the rainy day than to keep feeding those elite dogs at the expense of development in the name of subsidy.

RichYoungNigga:
Girls and abortion are like ...

They derive joy in abortions.

I'm a doctor and if you see the number of girls that call me to abort their babies, you will turn gay immediately

But u do the abortion anyway.

' 10 years ago, I was Hawking on the streets of Enugu for my mother. We were so poor that we could hardly afford to eat, But my mother always took me to church. She always told me to serve GOD, and that is how I lived my life. Even wen it was difficult to eat, I have always lived a life of worship. Today, God has taken my music all over d world, it's a beautiful thing to see white people singing my songs, Igbo songs that they don't know the meaning. Some time ago, we were concluding a program and I was looking for a camera to take a pic with Don Moen. Wen eventually I got someone to take d pic, as I posed with Don, he looked at me and said, " Frank Edwards, it is u!, I need to take dis pic with u". And he took his phone and showed me, " see, I have all your songs on my phone" then he said " Frank, I saw online that you have a studio in your home. I would like us to do a collaboration together. I'm gonna come to your house for d first recording and you will come over to mine in U.S for the finishing". Me, the same street boy from Enugu, doing a collaboration with Don Moen?.. Only GOD could have made it happen!! Live for GOD!! Praise him and thank him even when things are not as you would have loved them to be! Live a life of worship!!'". And this my brethen is dat Album... #‎itpaystoserveGod‬#.

I hope you didn't spend her money reckless? So she will use ur one week suspension allowance to replenish her pulse.

Am also interested.

TrollTrap:
I've read same story a thousand times... For toto mind now she be Ken Katas

I heard the same story from Ken Katas 12yrs ago in school.

orlaryhincah:
Thanks bro, am convinced now it's a civet

what if he is wrong and they are wild?

invinzible1:
If u are within lagos or Ogun I could come assist you

I am in Ph.

The same persons with different hair cut.

BeeBeeOoh:
I Know What I'm Doing But, What Is Doing Me Is What I Don't Know.. @ 10th pix

I guess just s I did, many viewers went to the 1st pic to count to the tenth to understand ur comment.

London go see something now.

lordhugo:
I will send a member of staff or if your location is close to me at the time, I will come personally.

Buzz me....

Pic below is a current project..

12 plots (2 acres) of free range snails..

I am the first to attempt mechanized snail farming in Nigeria.

wow! This is great! God's Grace.

I met one of my Maths teacher last week, we greeted and he asked for directions to GTbank. I told him make a 360 turn and walk for like 1.8 meters, then find the coefficient of X using Pythagoras theorem and round it up to the nearest tens. You will see a big pharmacy which is perpendicular to your right, then make an obtuse angle turn, you will see the bank at a distance of about the logarithm of 7 and using four figure table to the Anti- log. Let him feel what I felt when I was in skool. I think he should be lost by now.

He just proposed to me! He just did it in the most romantic way and I can't help but cry. It was in one of those gardens along Stadium Road. He had called me late last night, he sounded a little stressed and I expressed concern but he told me it was work related and nothing to worried about. He asked if we can have a date at the close of work.I consented. So,4.00 pm,there was I walking into the address he text me last night which turned out to be a very beautiful garden. Oh! How I loved this place.Maybe I should suggest we have our wedding here now we're engaged. As I stepped in,I could see him leaning on one of the stakes for the climbing moss.Dressed on a dark blue Jean trousers and a white shirt which opened at the collar he was looking deliciously handsome. However, it was the way his eyes darted here and there that told me something wasn't quite in place. He had this forlorn look,as if the whole world is about to crash on him. When I drew near ,he stretched his hands and took mine, asking me to walk with him a little. Then,the next trail of events happened in a flash,this guy came out from nowhere with a violin,started playing Endless Love and my man was on his knees asking, '' Cindy please I can't live without you,my whole world is shrouded in darkness without you. Stay with me,lighten up my life forever,marry me please. The emotions were too intense.Unbelievable.Reeling. I can't quite find words to crystallize the feeling. I was so lost that I forgot he was still on his knees,holding the ring case like a sacrifice. I blurted,' Yes,yes,yes,I will marry you forever! 'Okay,okay,cut',said my Director,'you have done enough for one day.'.

The town hall was full to the brim and outside.
Perspirating,grim faces of men on shaking
heads,twisted by anger and hunger for revenge are
cupped in hands .At intervals,both hands are placed on
the head in silent agitation.Teeth gnash and knees
shake,everyone was either talking or gravely silent.
Revenge,they must get by justice or by jungle.The air
is thick with tension and impatience.
The elders, old men in red caps sit round the high table
which has been isolated to the extreme part of the
room,deliberating in hushed tones. Once,a displeased
elder will stand abruptly and protest his displeasure at
an opinion in a loud voice, occasionally hitting the table
with his walking stick in anger or emphasis and settling
back down in his chair.
Outside,the crowd is divided in groups of discussing
men. A group of young men were already doing a war
dance round the village square brandishing sharp
matchetes which catch the rays of the sun.From time to
time a brutal looking young man will detach from the
group to perform a collection of war acrobatics and
matchet display and the crowd will cheer. It is no
gathering for the faint hearted. Men are angry and it
seems as if it will surge through them at any moment
like water through a dam.
Back inside,the noise is deafening,sweat poured from
bodies.It is all getting to a crescendo.
Suddenly,a middle-aged man walks to the front and
confronts the elders,
'Kedu ihe di ihe a. Obu so uka ka anyi biara ebe ikpari,
ebe anyi noo na-eri nsi kporo nku?'
(What is going on here? Have we gathered here only to
talk while we feed on dry shit).
The crowd murmurs.
'Onye obia batara n'be anyi,nyoo nshi,tee anyi ya
n'iru,ana-aju ihe aga-eme ka aghari imejo ya!'
( A guest we welcomed has excreted in our house and
rubbed it on our faces and here we are deliberating on
what to do in order not offend him).
'Gbam!',the crowd supports.
'Taaa,tufiaaaaa!
(Hisses and spits)
Chukwu amakwe ihe ojo!'
(God forbid)
'Ka obuzi ekpere na obubu onu ndi uka ka anyi biara?
Odikwa egwu!!!'
(Or have we come to pray and fast,it's terrible).
He continues, 'it's an abomination that elder is around
and a pregnant goat gives birth in tether. I have said
said my piece,the rest is left for you'.
He makes a hand washing gesture towards the elders
and walks back inside. The crowd roars in approval. The
war dance chooses to make its entry into the hall at
that moment,chatting,
Nzogbu,nzogbu!
Enyimba,enyi!
Nzogbu!
Enyimba,enyi!
Nzogbu,nzogbu!
Enyimba,enyi!
Nzogbu!
Enyimba,enyi!
Nzogbue nwoke!
Enyimba!
Nzogbue nwanyi!
Enyimba,enyi!
Nzogbu!!!
The hall is crowd and countless shouts and bell rings
from the high table can calm the frenzied crowd.
The groups dances out of the door followed by the
crowd chatting and stamping their feet in rhythm.
'Let the fulani herdsmen go there way, WE WILL NOT EAT COWS DIPPED IN HUMAN BLOOD'.

Part 2 please!

Lemme quickly go straight to the point without beating around the bush 1. His Friends vacate the room Just when you get to his place and his friends start going out of the room one after the other until you are left alone. This has already been planned prior to your arrival. Don’t think they left at their own discretion, he don already cut eyes give dem make dem comot ! 2. He asks what you’re wearing Just when a guy is curious to know whether you will be wearing a skirt or trouser to his house then be sure that he will definitely sleep with you when you visit him. Naijaboiy be like, ” My dear abeg no wear trouser come my house oooo” 3. He demands you don’t bring Your Friend along When he tells you not to come with a friend because he doesn’t want your friend around; there are no two ways about this, he certainly wants to sleep with you when you visit him and doesn’t want any barrier 4. He calls his Friend to keep your Friend’s company Some ladies believe the presence of their friends will server as security, therefore, they bring their friends along as custodians not knowing that some dudes are way too smart to handle such a situation. A very smart dude will call his own friend to come and take the daughter of Jezebel you call your friend away so that they will be alone. 5. He Dips His hands into the pockets to form a gentleman I’m very guilty of this act even though I passionately detest s£x (nobody should question me on this). When I’m inside the room with a lady and the moment my j0ystick begins to rise above its default level as a result of s£x intrusion into my mind. As an anointed man of God, I will just dip my two hands into my pockets and stylishly take a scroll outside after which I will return back when my obviously er £ct€d joystick returns to its default level 6. He Increases the volume of the home theatre Another sign a dude wants to sleep with you is that he will switch on the home theatre and will increase to the maximum volume so that neighbours will not hear your moan when the show starts. Some guys will not deny this. 7. He offers you chewing gum This is done probably to cleanse your breath before kissing takes place 8. He stylishly Locks the door A proverb says ” a dog that enters a lion’s den should be ready to face the consequences. However, just when you enter his room and he goes straight to the door and GBAAAM !!! . Even if heat wan kill two of una, he will never open the door.. You don’t even need satan to tell you that he wants to sleep with you 9. He forces You to take alcohol Another sign is that he will force you to take a little amount of alcohol so that he will accomplish his mission before you gain consciousness 10. He goes out to buy something that has “no name” Just when you visit a dude and he takes an excuse to go and buy something (name withheld) and when he returns back you can’t seem to see what he went to buy. Make we no deceive ourselves na Gold circle egbon go buy ooooo!!! … Even If you ask him what he went to buy he will definitely lie that he wasn’t able to get it.. My guys out there throway salute oooo I drop my pen at this point Feel free to add yours

Yes! I did before I got married to her. And four of my friends did the same. Its a matter of choice and discipline. Find the right person and stick with her.

Very much interested! Send me the proposal and quotation to ugochukwuprince33@yahoo.com

BarclaysV:
I will say my compliment when i c fuel buy... like i'm number 142 on the queue..wish d day neva run out then

Or the fuel never finish by then. Any how no let anybody enter ur front unless you go dey that 142 for 5 hours.

Will this make front page or will it not? Let me sit and watch from afar! But this mystery tree should have snake inside I guess, if so then front page tins.

Will this make front page or will it not? Let sit and watch from afar! But this mystery tree should have snake inside I guess, if so then front page tins.

Delta tree – Wetin person no go hear? So…they said there’s a tree somewhere in Agbor, Delta state where witches and wizards with supernatural powers hold their meetings. The residents of the community who want to see the end of the tree allegedly got a caterpillar to bring down the tree. But it was surprising to see that the tree was unwilling to be uprooted. In the video, you will hear the superstitious fellows shouting when the tree goes down and bounces back up. The tree apparently has strong roots and buried deep down but they are convinced it is the witches and wizards that do not want the tree down.

Its the guy. The legs without the jeans is putting on a lady's slippers.

coolcars2:
why u no come steal d car?

. Hmmmm! This attitude is what you want to use to sell this car? No wonder all other customer flee this page! You don't insult customers no matter what unless quick sales are not your goals.