₦airaland Forum

beinstein:
OK cool.
Only baby mamas, jambites and unemployed folks that know nothing about responsibilities that are trying to force the girl down op's throat.
Believe me, this is the end of this marriage. I'm sure he now understand why his family were against him marrying her in the first place.

true talk. Unfortunate her past is destroying the home. Very unfortunate situation. The father shd simpky tke care of his child. Dead beat guy

Neo colonialism. They shd come n win pidgin contest or ibo.

WORDWORLD:


Nigeria wins international schools debate trophy in Singapore

Nigeria wins international schools debate trophy in Singapore
By The Eagle Online on April 12, 2018
Nigeria has won the 2018 edition of the International Oldham Cup Debate Competition organised by the Anglo-Chinese Junior College Debate and Oratorical Society in Singapore.
Prof. Yahaya Yero, Executive Chairman, Bauchi State Universal Basic Education Board, disclosed this on Thursday in Bauchi, at a reception organised by the board for the Nigerian officials and participants at the competition.
Yero said that the participants, who represented the country in a four-day long debate were drawn from five junior secondary schools in Bauchi State.



https://www.google.com/amp/s/theeagleonline.com.ng/amp/nigeria-wins-international-schools-debate-trophy-in-singapore



Nigerian students who represent Africa win US science competition

The four JSS2 students of Whitesands School, Lekki are the only representatives from Africa at the science competition in Florida.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.pulse.ng/communities/student/nigerian-students-who-rep-africa-win-us-science-competition-id8336265.html

Those ones above are from the East too?!



Going by your SIGNATURE. What will you say to a person who tells you by analysis that the VERY ROOT of Nigeria's unending problems LIES is the fact that just 6 years after this supposedly GREAT COUNTRY, NIGERIA got her Independence, a COUP DOMINATED BY ,'CHRISTIAN OFFICERS' BY FACT AND TRUTH as its plotters, TRUNCATED THE FUTURE OF NIGERIA FROM ACHIEVING GREATNESS.

A coup which cost the life of Nigeria's FIRST prime minister a MUSLIM killed in cold blood, became the very beginning of Nigeria's INSTABILITY with respect to RELIGIOUS VIOLENCE.

After the failed coup by CHRISTIAN OFFICERS.

The late Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu a practicing 'CHRISTIAN' and from the Eastern part of this country which is predominatly CHRISTIANS, was backed by ISREAL and the VATICAN CITY and other CHRISTIAN COUNTRIES are responsible for the chaos we all are suffering today courtesy of the CIVIL WAR inspired by CHRISTIAN FANATISM on one side and SELFISH GAINS on the other side. Am trying to use your line of thinking to talk to you.


"Biafra's attempt to leave Nigeria resulted in
the Nigerian Civil War . The state was formally recognised by Gabon , Haiti , Ivory Coast ,Tanzania and Zambia . Other nations, which did not give official recognition BUT PROVIDED SUPPORT AND ASSISTANCE TO BIAFRA, included Israel, France, Spain , Portugal , Norway, Rhodesia, South Africa and the Vatican City . Biafra also received aid from non-state actors , including Joint Church Aid , Holy Ghost Fathers of
Ireland, and under their direction Caritas
International, MarkPress and U.S. Catholic
Relief Services. [3]
SOURCE: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biafra

JUST CHECKOUT THE LIST OF THE SPONSORS OF THE PREDOMINATLY CHRISTIAN IGBO DURING THE CIVIL WAR WHICH SUCCEEDED A FAILED DOMINANTLY CHRISTIAN MILITARY COUP THAT KILLED NIGERIA'S PRIME MINISTER THAT WAS A MUSLIM, WHEN NIGERIA WAS JUST 6 YEARS OLD AT SUCH INITIAL STATE OF FORGING THE FOUNDATION FOR THE GREATEST OF A NATION.

Well, yet still following your line of thinking as to your comment.

Assuming Nigeria's first Prime Minister was OJUKWU, and the first coup plotted was by Muslim officers from Northern Nigeria and then followed by a civil war supported by Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan and other so called MUSLIM COUNTRIES what comes to mind?!

JIHAD OF COURSE!!!

BUT HAVE YOU EVER PICTURED OUR REALITY OF THE CIVIL WAR AS CHRISTIAN FANATISM?!

This country would NOT have become a mess if the christian dominated east chose peace, UNITY and progress and NOT SELFISH ENDS.
***My point is this. We should be objective with the way we analize issues and stop all this religiousity and ethnicity that clouds our mentality from the reality of what is really going on. When Jonathan was the President of Nigeria, was it enjoying TRANQUILITY, STABILITY and SECURITY?!

nice reply

LaudableXX:
Which truer words? If a man has children outside wedlock before he got married, and he is upfront about it during courtship, most women would accept the child. In fact, a wise man would wait to see how his kids interact with his new babe, before he proposes marriage to her.

The only time most women have a problem accepting a man's kids, is if he goes outside to play an away match after they are married, and that affair resulted in a child, whose existence he concealed from his wife, despite the fact that they both stay under the same roof! By the time the wife eventually finds out and the shiit hits the fan, trust me - she would refuse to let the man's away kids into her house out of anger, simply because he cheated on her.

Women who grew up in polygamous homes, (or in a muslim setting however), seem to be able to cope better with such things. In the North, a lot of women will accept a man's kids who were born, [b]before [/b]they got married to such a man.

stop spewing wt u dnt know maam. Women hardly accept the mans kid except theyre big..they only manage because they cnt do nyfin. After all the mans paying the bills. Show me a woman tht can spnd on anoda womans child. If the mans broke. Never. Even to spend on her man hell pay 3 folds in future tlkless of a child she no born

LaudableXX:
Beautiful! What an inspiring testimony...I salute you, sister! They don't make good men like your husband, anymore.

mtchweee fke story. Well wizkid get private jet.. its social media

karika2018:
that child could become great tomorrow...plsp take her

the child could equally become a torn on their flesh...so

beinstein:
But you're sure op is buoyant enough to take care of her right?
Nice logic.

no i clearly stated here op has no biz caring for another mans child. He probably doesn't even know if his wife had been telling the truth all the while ie the child had been wth the dad for 7 yrs. Tke note ..the child is 7. So the man's been wt the child from birth. Ive nvr hrd tht b4

Jamean:
Is that how you were adopted?

no u can help the op naaw. Good samaritan.

beinstein:
Very simple, the same reason the wife to the child's father rejected her.
You lots see everything wrong in Op's decision not to accept the child, but ignore the fact that her father's wife rejected her.
Is there any better hypocrisy than this?

were not even sure she rejected her. Mayb the guy isnt so buoyant n is envious the mum was doing fine. Dead beat

[quote author=Ioannes post=70046946][/quote]maam no vex this is the real world. Blood is thicker than water. The child will still go back in search of her dad. No man toils and sweats to cater for anoda mans child when the resources are scarce. He can barely tke care of his and to think the father dumped the child voluntarily because of marriage( he had custody) mkes it evn more painful.. pls wen u mke such sacrifice come here n talk but clearly u dnt know ish bout wht ur proferring.

kapelvej:
Take a decision that you can be happy with, you can send the girl to relatives and support finanancially. Ultimately your joy and peace is superior. For your information, no matter the documentation you do, that lovely girl can never be your daughter, no SAN can win the case when the father comes for the child in future as long as he did not sign of that he did not want the child anymore. Pepple have called the man names, do you know what it takes for a man to raise a girl till she turned 7 ?, Ask your wife the arrangements for child support from the man, visitations etc. You seriously believe a man will raise a child to seven years and dump her on her mother ! please seek advice from elders on this issue.I I hope your present wife did not do anything stupid to that girl's dad long ago that is making him act like this ? Which man will want to loose a woman that has the qualities you described in your wife.Your joy and peace is the ultimate You take a decision based on nairalnders sentiments at your peril.

true as this may seem nothing justifies a dad sending out his own child hed trained for 7 yrs. The stoty doesnt evn add. The wife is hardwrkn n the guy was wth the child? 7yrs?.guy has no justificatiom. He shd b glad the babymama left his dota wth him.

Jamean:
I really wonder why he can't accept the child, I can't just wrap my head around it

why dont u go and adopt the child na....or arent u a good person...a christain.

Moji12:
I no tell u? D looser is quoting despite not quoting him directly das cos truth hurts n I smell frustration at d same time. Anyways I will ignore him like plague like I once advised u. he doesn't know frustration kills faster dan aids n cancer join together. He's even contradicting himself. Childish.

If i pounce on u this night nl will judge our matter.

Obj fall my hand ....sompn he tore. Chaiii

perfectedmee:
Dealing with the dad?
If the boy was important 2 gim, he did be growing up in his House na.

I've been paying his fees, I HV been dre even at his birth.

If the Father was responsible the mum wouldn't be my fiancée.

oga if na fiancee she still be dont fvckn gock ursef. Except u know wht ure doing dont fall for that trap. Youll end up wadting ur tym. The poor child doesnt deserve whats coming for him. Marriage is a different ball game. Trust me.

Elder001:
Truer words have never been said.


Most men don't have a problem with this issue but if it is the other way round the women won't want to set their eyes on the kid especially if the man is wealthy.


All these women berating the man on this thread are not normal. Instead of them to direct their grievances to the idiot who rejected his own blood they're blaming the OP.

A typical African woman can't condole what men condole every day in the family.

most of them r freakn babymamas tlkn shit.

Coldfeets:
You are right.

This is one problem I will always have with women.

They will expect you as a man to measure up to their own standards but they will never want to measure up to your own standards.

They will want you as a man to accept their baggage but they will never even consider your baggage even for one moment not to mention accepting it.

Like I read in one red pill book, if you want to maintain your position in any relationship with a woman, make sure you hold her under the same standards that she will hold you.

Most women are selfish in relationships and always looking out for their own benefits first.

Make sure that you as a man will always be looking out for your own benefits first too.

Once a woman learns that you are not the type that will just be accepting her selfish tendencies, she will have no other option than to reset her senses to selflessness which will favour all concerned.

Simply stated, treat a woman exactly the same way she treats you.

That's how you can always maintain your position when you are in a relationship with a woman.

If all men will simply learn this rather than accepting any bullshit women throw to them all in the name of love or just allowing peace to reign, I tell you, no woman will ever think it is her right to be telling men what to do and be criticizing such men when they refuse to do it.

little boys will nvr understand this line of thought.. theyd be giving stupid advise they know nuffn about.

Moji12:
please ignore him, he's actually talking out of experience, trust me

who is this one?

lielbree:
Lol. This woman would be foolish to choose a husband over her child! If she can cater for her kids and the man is not willing to accept her daughter knowing fully well that she had a child outside wedlock, then is divorce time!
The man is heartless.

the man is nt freaking heartless he owes no obligation for a child he ddnt cum for. He just entered one chance. Whay about the mans kids born in wedlock u think the court will destroy theor lives because of a child born out of wedlock. The woman should be ready to let fo off the legitimate ones and go and take care of the illegitimate. Cos of one dsyfuctional kid u destroy the lives of the rest ..and destroy the mans family. He can accept the child but the child will suffer if hes forced .

remioshy:
Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

all these blatant lies you ppl post here sha. You thnk were all kids here abi? Well if the man accepted the child like ur story suggests thats a different story but if u convonced him tht u were moving on from the child and starting a new life then different case. Why do some women leave wen they hear their husbands have kids outside...why dont u tell them to accept the kids wholeheartedly in love mtchweee. If she wants to care for her child let her free the marriage than to put tht man into unnecessary expense. Then later the child will now go bk to the dad. What rubbish

Elder001:
ladies will always want men to accept their children which they conceived outside marriage but would never want to set their eyes on the husband's outside kids if it was the other way round. They'll go any length to kill the child yet some sentimental mods like Dominique are here berating this man because he refused to take in the child.

i tire for them......was he there when they wer banging their lives out.. then the woman now decided to remarry after that she don trap the guy she wants to gve hm anoda mans fvck trophy. Abeggggy

Ioannes:
It's not more dangerous unless you are insinuating that the op is a child molester, huh?


The man married the woman and all her burdens, so also did the woman marry the man along with all his burdens.

That's what is defined as marriage.

They can't keep all children born out of wedlock out of the house. If they did are you the one that's going to take care of those offsprings?

Or are you saying that the woman shouldn't be allowed to raise her daughter because she is now married?

Should she go and dump the child in an orphanage because the father of the child is marrying someone else and she is married to someone else and the child's grandparents are also rejecting her?

Put yourself in that child's shoes.

Is it really soo difficult to be empathetic? To try to do to others what you want others to do to you?

Would you be talking like this if it was the man that had the child out of wedlock? I bet you would come here and start saying "He is the head of the family..."

What if the child's father was dead? Is the woman to kill her child because her husband is afraid of what his family would say?

Some of you haven't really experienced life, have you?

unfortunately the childs father is alive ...tht being said, marriage isnt run by empathy. Its strictly tactics and wisdom. Thats why babaymamas shouldnt go looking for husbands since they have a kid they do not want to let go of. The child will be the one to suffer for their selfishness. The man and his wife probably had a discuss with his wife b4 marriage. There were terms and conditions. Unfortunately on desperation she probably assured him the child would be with the father. You cannot suddenly chamge and expecr him to jes accept it. She should wait and probably pray he accepys to allow the child come not form good mother and bring the chld in by force.

Ioannes:
First, its spelt hypocrite.

Second, I'm not married to the woman. In case you find it difficult to connect the points let me help you.

1. The man knew the woman had a child before he married her.

2. Nobody forced him to marry her. He married her because of the good qualities he saw in the woman.

3. When he married her he automatically became a step-father.

4. If he didn't want to be a step-father he shouldn't have married her.

5. The child is better of with the mother where she can monitor her child rather than leave her to to mercy of another woman who will most likely trun her into a slave.

6.From the foregoing, you asking me to adopt the child is irrelevant and totally out of point.

Got it?

you dnt know ita more dangerous to put a child with a step dad that can do more than psycological damage to a child. Hehe. So because of one child born out of wedlock the family shd scatter? Do i even know if part of the agreement b4 marriage was tht theyd keep all kids born out of wedlock out of the house..

lielbree:
Reality check! This is the 21st century! Women make money! Just as much as their husbands or even more!

The op said she is hard working. He never mentioned that she is forcing him to be financially responsible for her child!
The woman WILL take care of the daughter pls.

FYI the United Nations conducted a survey in southern Nigeria and found out that 70% of women contribute more to their families than men.
The study showed that marriage men spend a lot of their earrings on mistresses. This is detrimental to the family.

yes but the problem is are these women willing to walk out of thrir marriage and divorce the men? ... Yoi know even women in abusive marriages are very inwilling to divorce their husbands or drop their marital names. Somehow naturally women derive more rest of mind knowing theyre married. Man in the other hand doesnt want to remain in a committed relationship and sacrifices a lot to go into one. Esp if he is succesful. So if the woman is willing to divorce this man they shd do so. But we know women nvr want to let go.

SUPERPACK:
so its better to stay with the stepmother and become a maid or maltreated as an unwanted, what makes you think the real father will nt get sexually attracted to he?. her real mother cannot abandon her in trying times like dis.

as long as the real dad isnt mentally ill he wilk not touch his child. There r exemotion same way there r muma tht get sexually attracted to their sons.. it happens. Theres no notmal father tht hia child will live as maid in his own house. Lailai. The child is a member of the family and wont go anywhere cant say the same for a mother.

LaudableXX:
Wrong! You have not seen stepmothers maltreating their husband's children? Some would beat them mercilessly, or even starve them of food, because those kids are not their own, despite the fact that the father bought food for the child's upkeep. I know a stepmother who used the money her husband gave her to pay for his daughter's school fees to buy jewelry. Some stepmothers even turn their stepchildren into househelps. And the mental torture or emotional abuse they inflict on their stepchildren, can scar those kids for life!

any father that has kids being mistreated is a terriible dad. Yes step mothers can b terrible but the man still determines wht hppns. Whht useless man gves children schooling in the hands of step mum. A dead beat. If the woman no gree mke she find another husband.

lielbree:
So what of men who bring another woman's child to their wife?

Children did not beg to be born and their well being is paramount.

This op is just ashamed that his wife had a child outside wedlock. But why did he
Marry her?

men pay the bills for their kids. The highest a woman wd do is keep being rude to the child but the basics of life the dad wd provide ie achool shelter and food. For a woman she wd need the man to cater for the childs basics and the man wdnt do tht. Plua the mans family wdnt even accept the child if he doesnt and the child will truly be alone.

EmpresFIDEL:
oga, your family has no say in your family issue.. you don't need permission from them to do the right thing.

clearly u dnt know wht marriage is.. there are too many ppl with no knowledge of life spkn here

EmpresFIDEL:
oga, your family has no say in your family issue.. you don't need permission from them to do the right thing.

clearly u dnt know wht marriage is.. there are too many ppl with no knowledge of life sokn here

lielbree:
So what of men who bring another woman's child to their wife?

Children did not beg to be born and their well being is paramount.

This op is just ashamed that his wife had a child outside wedlock. But why did he
Marry her?

men pay the bills for their kids. The highest a woman wd do is keep being rude to the child but the basics of life the dad wd provide ie achool shelter and food. For a woman she wd need the man to cater for the childs basics and the man wdnt do tht. Plua the mans family wdnt even accept the child if he doesnt and the child will truly be alone.

SUPERPACK:
so its better to stay with the stepmother and become a maid or maltreated as an unwanted, what makes you think the real father will nt get sexually attracted to he?. her real mother cannot abandon her in trying times like dis.

hmmm ao u think under another mans roof tht clearly doesnt want her is a better option. Atleadt under her father shell be getting food schooling and shelter as the dad wd provide or shoukd provide. Wuth her mum the step dad will nt bring money for her upkeep and will treat her like a housegirl. Plus her muma marriage will be wrecked cos the home will be a total disaster and hell def look foe a woman outside. Its bettwr she goes bk to hwr dad or grand mum.

ladygudhead:
Op u shud accept d child in 4 d sake of ur kids too. The child is their blood too u knw. u shud knw the child wil always come home 4 d mother one day. wait, does dat mean u cannot even accept and nuture an entirely diff child in ur home? and if u luv ur wife u shud luv n accept her seeds(which include d onces she has wit u n wit anoda man) too. This goes 4 wifes too. i for one wil want my hubby's child 2 b raised n nutured in our home than outside,unless d biological mother says otherwise or the child is an adult who has chosen whom 2 live wit. whateva seed u sow on this child is wat u own kids wil reap 4rm her. so pls accept her.biko! e jor!

madam stop gvn advise u know nuffn bout.. if u wre in his shoes ud probably do worse. Only babymamas expect to tke someone elses kid to anoda man. Dreamers