₦airaland Forum

naturalwaves: What's d correlation between a ruptured appendicitis and a tummy tuck? If d report is actually true,she will only undergo a minor surgery(Appendectomy)to cut off her Appendix.That's all! No need for tummy tuck .

We know u got a medical background, but a little intuitive comic understudy would help u know?

Arabianzee: money good for body oooo,see as d lady wowo for here

Is she fine now? She was even way finer as a baby.

Abeg, pls, just make sure the number one on the list is Nyanya gbam! A stage name couldnt sound more horrible than that especially for an R&B singer. Next is CAPITAL F.E.M.I. what does capital have to do with anything? Mekoyo Hmmmmmmnnn!

These people dont know what to do with power again. Mssssssssschew! how about making a law that compels every LCDA to build roads and other amenities? Na baby mama syndrome dem wan check now. Maybe one of the man's relation is in such a predicament and he now decides to use his office to seek revenge. Abegi jor!

Danka7777: Another ignorant nescient and asinine Nigerian who doesn't know and understand what it means when the U.S tags a militant group a " terrorist group". When the U.S labels a militant group in a country as a "terrorist group" it means that they now have right and power without UN authorization to send drones to any place in that country and bomb their targets. Now if you have been following the drone attacks in Somalia, Pakistan, Afganistan and Yemen, you should know by now that civilians are being killed also. Let's put this in contexts: Assume that a leader of Boko Haram was hiding in community or village with a population of 1000 people, and members of this community are unaware of his presence. U.S gets the news, sends a drone, the drone drops few bombs to get their target, in the process 50 innocent people are killed and property destroyed, and most instances without their target being killed or harmed. Have you asked yourself you could be one of these innocent people?

For some of us who are very knowledgeable in global affairs, we know all these Boko Haram bombings and threats are a precursor for the invasion of our country. We know these tricks. Is it a coincidence that each time a Boko Haram leader is captured alive, few days later he is killed? This is common sense, the forces behind these Boko Haram menace are within our security system and police force also, and know when to kill them before they spill the beans.

Why are we so gullible? Open your eyes people. Think deeply and connect the dots!

God bless you brova. Some people just read headlines and form opinions without really seeing the signs. Why do you think US hurriedly labelled Nigeria a terrorist state immediately after the muttallab saga? They wanted a reason to establish presence here, btw how does a one man terrorist attack qualify a nation as a terrorist nation? Did they tag UK a terrorist nation after the shoe bomber saga? Once US starts subversibly dictating affairs in your country, it will never be the same. Go ask Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan,e.t.c leave matter for mathias!

ayobase: Judging someone afar via hearsay is an allegation!
You might be surprised if he is not the kind of guy u tot of.
Allow ur friend to work it out!

@@modified@@

By far the best post thus far. Really! It is easy for us to come here and make conjectures about situtions that could arise from such a union, heck some of us are even outright jealous that we never had it that easy, but truth be told, only the parties involved know how to sort themselves out. Let her work it out, she is grown up.

Chidoka should start from himself.
1.Why do officials have to get paid through his microfinance bank?
2. Why is the salary structure of FRSC officials different on paper from what it is in reality with between 40k - 150k chopped off from their salaries?(dont tell me it's tax ok?)
3.Why do they get their salaries after over a week or two after the monies have been disbursed and their counterparts in different paramilitary entities must have digested thier salaries?

@ Cap and igbo

U musn't reply every moronic comment u see online. Some people are too lazy to do a little research on their own and as such heavily rely on Al-jaz , CNN and BBC. My brother is one of such people and he NEVER sees anything wrong in anything America does.

IMHO the Libyans have not yet recognized what hit them and will not till maybe 5-10 years down the line. Libya CAN never be the same again not to talk of being better than the ghadaffi regime. The west uses so much propaganda to fight their wars and that's how u win wars! In saddams own case we were shown videos of the massacre he was alleged to have carried out in a village, but videos for Ghaddaffi's have refused to show up. Is it not because they are all lies? If a govt fights militias who have seized arms against it, is it illegal? Well let us watch as events unfold and see which party to the discourse would chew back their words.

@opiacino
Their "invaders" have made Australia the best country in the world, and they still hate white people and all that we have done.
Abeg, take them to Africa, make them see REAL poverty and hardship,



it is remarks like these that make me sick to my stomach. Here u are thinking the whiteman is the best thing that ever happened to them. Why did u have to invade their land in the first place? Why did u leave ur country to seize thiers if not for certain benefits? or were u invited by the aborigines? They can choose to protest all they want, for it is their land period!

moremi2008:
Wait a minute! Aren't you the one being chased with a cutlass around town by a woman? See English display for no reason!!!! Chei! 

What would I do? What happened to the police? How about bribing a few area boys to teach her a lesson? Your problem isn't even remotely challenging or interesting. A secondary school boy with an average IQ would be able to solve it. Abeg comot jor and go grow yourself some balls!

You know what? You are absolutely right. I am sure you would also find "Ade Goes to School" educative and life-changing. I would be Einstein if everybody in the world was like you. 

See MUMU dey talk! Na only u get access to area boys abi? and police? for nigeria? because u no know say violence begets more violence until someone ends up dead! Okpomu dey talk. Do you think I'm talking about all those ur ewa agonyin girls wey u dey corner? Na ur type akata dey take do mince-meat, bu the time u finish for jail comot, ur rear side would be like kuwaiti oil well! Common gerrrrroooout my friend! After letting off steam on the cyberspace, go carry ur eleja girlfriend mama lingerie wash or betterstill, Self-Service. off it!  And just in case u havent noticed, nobody needs u here since u havent made any sensible contribution and  dont even bother replying.
Mscheeewwww! EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeedddiot!

@lastpage
I dont even know why u even try to engage a lost cause  like moremi who obviously isnt versed in any of life's affairs. If hin come internet, hin p.r.i.c.k go stand, but for real life na sissy.

moremi2008:
You sound like you are ready to die. A woman is practically stalking and attacking you in Lagos and all you can do is wring your delicate hands and ask NLanders for help. Hahahaha!!!! I hope she shows up with a gun next time. Maybe you'll consider having her arrested when she finally shoots you in the head.

It's very obvious u are not in tune with reality. U are showing off what u deem as wisdom even though it's absolute folly. U have not even proffered one single panacea to the issue being addressed but u are quick to pass judgements. If you had read the submission I made u would see that different approaches have been used, so Mr. wiseman/hardman Joe Pescky, what would u do if u were in such a situation? Pls enumerate them and dont spit vague word play or display crass ignorance and unnecessary bragadoccio.

Pls how do u handle a situation like this;

You have a GF and she gets really abusive, emotionally, psychologically and even physically at times. Very ready to stir up a scene anytime, anywhere without a care in the wolrd. After dumping her for the umpteenth time, she still refuses to let go. she comes to ur place everytime to create a scene especially if another girl is present. It got to the stage where the only option left was to knock her around, but that only worsened the situation as she feels that the worst u can do, so she repeatedly asks for it when provoked like;

MAN: come leave alone okay? just go away or let me pass, stop blocking the door, I want to leave as i dont have time for ur wahala

WOMAN: Where do u think u are going to eenh? u are not going anywhere. If u like beat me, that is all u know these days.(Holding u by the trousers police-style).

and even after u manage to leave the house sometimes, she trails behind  in public screaming"Ashewo! wooooooooo! u have slept with all the girls in Lagos". Now u try to relocate to a new neighbourhood without her knowledge and 2 months later she visits a friend on ur street and spots u and part 2 wahala starts.

Help needed urgently because murder might be in the offing.

@norrisman
a nation's laws are its laws. Airport regulation says u have to follow those procedures, u dont like it, dont go with the food, or betterstill take it up with the authorities. Regulations are regulations.


@dalebutt1
the fact that our leaders are an ill folk doesnt mean we shd allow others trample on our sovereignity. those of us here commenting are against the action on our country, not neccessarily the people ruling it. they are ours to deal with. The fact that we are been run by criminals doesnt mean we should allow everybody disrespect our country. this situation is analogous to ur neighbour breaking into ur house to get ur son just because ur son insulted him. Ur son is urs to deal with as u deem fit but meeeehn! ur house na ur house Chikena!

norrisman:
I dont know if they were held against their wishes but I find it hard that any police force, not even the most unprofessional of forces like the NPF will storm a foreign mission on receiving a call from a member of the public that they had been refused a visa.

In England, before the police could do on-the-spot verification, If u were stopped and didnt have your papers, you were given a producer to present the required documents at a police station within 7 days.

LWKMD! HMRC will make a killing if they start to charge every Nigerian ￡20 for 'exporting' small quantities of food for personal consumption. I hope u r joking and I dont really have to pay N5000 for exporting a box of noodles and a Derrica of Garri. Inspect Noodles eh? So the Nafdac number on it means nothing and why is it their business, they should let the country I am 'exporting' the food to do thw worrying.

u shd have got ur facts right first. There is nothing in the story that suggests that there is evidence of bribe being solicited, so it is just an accusation. secondly, even if it was actually solicited, the police has no right whatsoever to invade an embassy unless they were invited by the consulate. Here in nigeria, if your papers are not found on u while driving ur car, it will be impounded at the police station until u provide them, failure to do so will lead to the car being auctioned after a certain duration(i dont remember how long). BTW, have u tried importing some british foods before? i mean raw just like garri, not packaged? try it and come back here to let us know how it goes.

"why is it their business, they should let the country I am 'exporting' the food to do thw worrying"

yeah! same way they shd let drug barons fly and let the other countries do the worrying. Puleeez!!!

norrisman:
Too many dimwits on Nairaland shouting balance of trade,SA will lose more, Nigeria will lose more blah blah blah. Do you clowns really think trading will stop between the 2 countries over a minor diplomatic spat where the police didnt even manage to gain entrance.

NO BUSINESS WILL CONTINUE BUT THERE HAS TO BE REPERCUSSIONS FOR SUCH ACTIONS

norrisman:
If the South Africans called the police and reported that they were being held against their wishes do you think the SA police are like your NPF that would take no action.

WERE THEY BEEN HELD AGAINST THEIR WISHES?

norrisman:
I was in Nigeria a couple of weeks ago and every single official at the airport either begs you for money or tries to make your life difficult so you can pay your way out. On the way the airport, a policeman stops my friend, who although his car papers were up to date, he didnt have them in the car due to the car being broken into recently and all his personal effects removed. The policeman, realising we were on the way to the airport said we must follow him to the mobile court. In any normal country, in the absence of technology for instant verification, you should be allowed to produce the said documents once it can be established that tue car isnt stolen.

DID HE STOP U FROM PRODUCING THE SAID DOCUMENTS? OR U WERE IN A HURRY NOT TO MISS UR FLIGHT AND U SOUGHT THE EASY WAY OUT?

norrisman:
Then the customs, parted with N2000 for daring to export indomie noodles and cassava flakes (garri lol).

YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE UPSTAIRS TO PAY AND COLLECT RECEIPT FOR THE FOOD EXPORT YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE. THEY CHARGE N5,000 FOR THAT PLUS ALL THE RELEVANT AGENCIES WILL INSPECT THE FOOD FIRST. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ALWAYS WHINE ABOUT HOW U ARE EXTORTED BUT U ACTUALLY PREFER IT TO DOING THE RIGHT THING. SO WHO ARE YOU FOOLING?

Ileke-IdI:
I guess too much Yoruba blokos sent her out of her mind.

The power of a huge phallus.

another one of your gaffes right?

Ileke-IdI:
Its not about ethnic. I have my preference, just like you.

It's about time Nigerians start being innovative instead of copying lowly-designed products. Those stuff look cheap to be honest.

The reason why China is where it's at is not because they kept remaking westernized products.

Pls take a look at these vehicles and tell me how they look cheap
by the way, no idea is original, there's nothing new under the sun. Car manufacturers "jack" designs from each other. The new Hyundai sonata looks just like a mercedes, until you see the logo.

Demography

An Onitsha street scene.

Today, Onitsha is a modern day urban society, the people speak Igbo and English languages. There is a catholic cathedral, Anglican cathedral and it is the headquarters of so may church organizations and sociocultural groups. A federal government college is situated in the town. There is an army barrack, a school of metallurgy, and it is the home of the biggest market in the whole of Africa, the Onitsha Main Market.
[edit]
Population

The population of Onitsha is not reflected in the Nigerian census figures and the trader migrate to their bases, neighbouring villages and states during census events reducing the official figures. Onitsha also serves as base for some major industries.
[edit]
Economy

The state of Lagos and various northern towns are partially fed by supplies from Onitsha. Trade soared between the east and west of Nigeria because of Onitsha market. This made Onitsha the strategic gateway for trade between the former eastern and western regions. The Nigerian-Biafran war brought widespread devastation to the city; at its end came the subsequent oil boom years bringing a huge influx of immigrants into the city. The war-damaged facilities, still under repair, could not cope with the pace of the rural-urban exodus into the city. Slums consequently began to emerge from the hasty haphazard building construction to accommodate the huge influx.


source; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onitsha

Interesting finds but that's besides the point.

Quote from Alh harem
"Based on transactions Onitsha in not top 3 on this country not to talk of Africa"

Abeg which ones are in top three? Dont mention idumota o! cos it's not even close. Lets not allow ethnic sentiments get in the way of facts. If you have concrete facts to dislodge the next man's stance, show it or hold your peace.

Ibadan has been the town of brown roofs since the first time I was there in my adult life(over 25 yrs now). It didnt just start with the present democratic republic. Even all those day by day readers we used in elementary school those days portrayed it as such, so naw bi todey e start. In fact if you are travelling from Abuja or the north and u wake up in the bus and see brown roofs all over, no need to ask where your current location is.

Ileke-IdI:
Years of undisciplined PDP's greedy rule left that impact.

Innosan's products are cool for Nigeria's economy, but looks like cheap items from the dollar general. Wouldnt buy any of it sha.

I like new innovations, new designs, new etc. . . .

Pls rise above the ethnic cloud hovering over you for once and make meaningful contributions. Innoson is not your enemy, it's just a business albeit of igbo extraction. I've been in one of the buses and it feels and looks comfy. Looks rugged too. Oh! and before you start asking me where I'm coming from, recall this;
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-728145.0.html#msg8858369

@johndoe
Are you in Nigeria? If you were, you would know that the power situation[b] is on the way to being solved[/b]. Anyway the power issue is one part of the solution. There are others such as the gas revolutionn - almost 500,000 jobs, the PIB bill another 500,000 jobs. We expect to have almost 3 million jobs from the agricultural refoms and initiatives that are coming. There are others that I could mention.
We are on track, people just need to join hands with this admistration.

The above kind of remarks are what really beats me. What do these people take us for? Muggs? After colluding with bobo odenson that u call ur boss(johnny boy) to steal our money, u come here to spew jibberish. Jobs on paper but not in reality. Which power are you talking about sef? Is it the one that Imoke and co embezzled billions on during Obj's tenure or is it another one? What has come out of the monies invested thus far? Let me answer it for you; [size=8pt]NOTHING![/size] Abegi! abegi!! abegi!!! The jobs that are are even available in the ministries, how do u and your cronies select candidates? My friend was asked to bring N800,000 for customs job that he had already passed all tests and interviews and when he couldnt muster such, the job was given to someone else who did not even partake in any training whatsoever and a gun issued to him. Those are the likes you see at the border and you take cover. My brother was given the same treatment at the sss recruitment. So who are you deceiving with all that balderash? Please prove how all ur paper hypotheses translates into visible and life enhancing situations for the average nigerian or keep mum. NL is not a place for the Govt to be singing their own praises, let the people who wear the shoes tell you the size.

abeg can we all storm bobo odenson's facebook page and give him our two cents. let's show the world that he is as dumb as a doornail.

^^ ^^
For once, I agree with you kobo. Dead on point.

GOOD DAY TO YOU MY BROTHER. Pls can you help me unlock this modem;

ZTE MG880+
ESN:11EFE7E0
S/N: 412831911729

THESE ARE THE ONLY DETAILS ON THE MODEM. IT IS A CDMA 1X TYPE. Thanks.

Source: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8260101/us-woman-awarded-90m-after-genitals-smack

A woman who claims she was smacked on the head with her boss's genitals has been awarded $90 million, the largest payout for a sexual harassment lawsuit in the US.

Ashley Alford told a court her manager at Aaron's, Richard Moore, snuck up behind her while she was sitting on the floor in the store room and whacked her on the head with his penis.

The St Louis woman said later that day Mr Moore threw her to the ground, lifted up her shirt and masturbated over her while holding her down.

Mr Moore was arrested and awaits trial on a related charge in St. Clair Country Circuit Court.

In a suit against Aaron's, filed in 2008, Ms Alford said she phoned employee harassment hotline months before Mr Moore allegedly attacked her and the the company failed to act when she made the complaints.

In a ruling this week, Aaron's — an Atlanta-based chain furniture store — was ordered to pay $90 million compensation after a jury found the company liable for negligent supervision, sexual harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The payout is likely to be capped because of federal law, and will probably be closer to $38 million.

Aaron's bosses have always denied liability and are expected to lodge a formal appeal to the decision.

Nigerian court orders convicted

thief to be caned for five years

A Magistrate Court in Osogbo, Oyo State, has ordered a convicted thief to be given 10 strokes of the cane once every two months for the next five years, in addition to serving a five-year jail term. Magistrate Adewunmi Makanjuola pronounced the sentence on 41-year-old Timothy Awolowo, after he pleaded guilty to a burglary charge.



The judge said the convict, who was not represented by a lawyer, has shown no remorse for the offence, hence he should be caned bi-monthly until he is remorseful. Awolowo was convicted for a similar offence in 2001. Caning as punishment for such offences as stealing is usually prescribed by Islamic Sharia courts.

Source: nigeriatodayonline

MEND goes pan-African,

condemns attacks on Libya

Nigeria's Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND) has said it is resuming attacks on oil facilities shortly to protest continued troops deployment in the oil region as well as Western attacks on Libya. In an online statement, MEND's spokesman Jomo Gbomo singled out Italian oil giant ENI for its alleged involvement in the attacks on Libya, being carried out by NATO planes. 'The Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger delta (MEND) observes with outrage the involvement of the ENI group of Italy in the attacks on the innocent citizens of Libya by Western nation’s intent on plundering the mineral resources of that nation.



'The ENI group has actively participated in the theft of oil in the Niger Delta for decades, assisting the Nigerian military in its scorched earth and genocidal actions against the justice-seeking citizens of the Niger Delta. ENI and its subsidiaries are simply thieves and cheap opportunists,' the statement said. MEND condemned what it sees as the double standard of the Western nations, who said the attacks on Libya are aimed at protecting civilians. 'Why have these Western nations ignored the bombing of villages and civilians in the Niger Delta by the Nigerian military? If they are so concerned about the removal of dictators in Africa why do enjoy good relationships with dictators in Angola and Equatorial Guinea? 'In solidarity with the oppressed people of Libya, we vow this day to henceforth pursue the complete destruction of all investment owned by ENI group in Nigeria and urge all around Africa to do likewise,' MEND said.



There has been a lull in militant activities in the Niger Delta since the successful amnesty programme, under which fighters dropped their weapons and embraced government's amnesty. The relative peace in the oil region has also been expected to continue, following the election of President Goodluck Jonathan - who hails from the oil region - as President last April. But MEND said the oil firms operating in the Niger Delta should not be deceived by the lull, 'as it is merely preceding a very violent storm' 'All companies looting the Niger Delta should steal as much as they can, while they can, for the end to the oppression, slavery and plundering of the Niger Delta is nigh,' MEND said, It also said the organisation and other groups in the Niger Delta had no respect for Jonathan 'or his class of moronic African leaders who gladly serve as stooges to Western governments'.

Source: nigeriatodayonline

Virgin cabin crew arrested

after allegedly stealing

upgrade cash from passenger

Flight attendants for Virgin Atlantic were arrested for allegedly pocketing thousands of pounds from a passenger who splurged his cash on an upgrade. The airline confirmed it has launched an investigation into the matter, alongside the police, in which seven cabin crew stole around $5,000 (£3,037) on a Heathrow-bound flight from Lagos. The crew were caught out when the passenger attempted to claim loyalty points but the airline could not find a record of the payment, suggesting instead of putting the money through the books it was taken.



It is believed that the passenger paid in cash to be bumped up to first class as credit card payments were not permitted on the flight, due to an anti-fraud policy. A Virgin spokeswoman said: "Virgin Atlantic takes all security and safety matters extremely seriously. "Whilst we cannot discuss individual cases we can confirm that an incident has been reported to the police for investigation and we are speaking to a number of staff regarding the allegations. "Virgin Atlantic is not able to comment further as the matter is now being dealt with by the authorities."

GOOD DAY TO YOU MY BROTHER. Pls can you help me unlock this modem;

ZTE MG880+
ESN:11EFE7E0
S/N: 412831911729

THESE ARE THE ONLY DETAILS ON THE MODEM. IT IS A CDMA 1X TYPE.

Excellent piece.

I just finished chatting with my friend a while ago, it doesnt even end there. He said they have been running a joint account for over 2 years now as a sign of their love for each other(she earns more than he does) and they took an oath to be with each other till the end like the type you see in indian movies. I dont know how to tell him my mind without making him feel I'm jealous of him. He definitely is on the longest thing.