₦airaland Forum

Exactly..... She too is guilty.

IAMSASHY:
if u Tel her, she won't blive u, she will definitely tink u ar jealous and wants 2 tear her marriage apart, since u dnt hv prove, let her discover herself

Hmmmmmm.

It depends on how mature she is to handle the news.

She may never trust you again or she may want to do hers too to bring in money coz the rent will expire someday and you will be looking for another rent.

Well, prepare your mind for the consequences that may erupt and tell her.

you can start with, iv sinned against heaven and earth. you are no longer worthy to be called her husband. looool.

ORAGBON:
Dear Jzhane,

I am a forty two year old man and I have a little problem I need advice on. Recently,I have been having some serious final problems. Where I work,salaries have not been coming in as early as before. As such,things have not been the same. I have a lot of financial difficulties. One of such financial commitment is that my rent has been due for over six months. My landlord has just given us quit notice to leave by the end of the month. My wife and I have been asking for a loan from people we know but non of them have come through to us.

I reached out to a former boss in a previous company. Mrs X and I were close when I was working for that company. I was not married then. We used to be quite close at the time. When I spoke to Mrs X,she asked me to see her in a hotel where she was having a business meeting. When I got to the hotel,I was asked to wait for her in her room as the meeting was still ongoing. I waited until she came back from her meeting around 8.30pm. She wrote a cheque of N1.5M…which is N500k more than my actual rent. I thanked her but she didnt give me the cheque. She asked me to do her a favour. I asked what it was,she said I needed to make her feel like a woman. Mrs X is married but it is like she her husband is a busy business man who travels alot.


At that point,I wanted to walk away. But she said If I slept with her just once,she would dash me the money,it wouldnt be a loan anymore. For a minute,I thought about it. I needed the money and she said this once. Even though I knew I was hurting my wife,I did sleep with Mrs X.

That happened two weeks ago. I have paid my rent . I made up some story as to how I got the money. My wife does not know but I am filled with guilt. Should I tell her? I know she would be very disappointed in me but I reckon she might understand why I had to. I dont want secrets between me and my wife.

Whats your advice.



Tony,

Port Harcourt


Source:livelystones.com.ng

Dear Sir,

Do take your time before taking any decision.

Dont rush in back .

Be sure, you are ready to bear what ever consequences.

God help you make right decision.

LivelyStones:
Jzhane 14/12/2017 Love 2 Comments

Dear Jzhane,

I am a divorced man with two children who are eleven and eight. I was married for almost six years before we broke up. I have been single for almost six years now. My divorce was a very painful experience for me. My ex wife was someone I loved with all my heart but she slept with my best friend and they both got married even before our divorce was finalized.

Two years ago,I met ,Kamo. Kamo and I have been dating for almost two years. Kamo is 32 years old and she has been hinting at marriage. I told her that I love her and want to be with her even have kids with her but no marriage.....see more

www.Livelystones.com.ng

Hello Mrs Mavin,

It was nice you gave your own side of the story and also accepted your wrong.
I think at this time, your husband has to accept that you see a counselor or sort the issue together.

Even though there is no excuse for what you did but indirectly ,he caused it.

The issue of sex has really destroyed lots of homes and its something that has to be taken seriously.

Your should calm down and listen to you.

LivelyStones:
Dear Lively Stones,

My husband gave his side of the story of what happened in my marriage. Permit me to give my own side of the story as well.
First of all,I must say that I am very sorry for cheating on my husband with an ex. I am deeply sorry. I know I did something very wrong and unforgivable. The thought of it makes me cringe and I can NEVER forgive myself for what I did. I used to hear of people cheating on their wives and wives cheating on their husbands:never in a million years did I dream that could be me.


My name is Ebiere. I love my husband. We have been married for almost seven years. We are blessed with two lovely children:one boy and one girl.
When Malvin and I got married,we were very happy. One thing though that has been an issue in our marriage is the fact that I have more sexual libido than my own husband. Initially,I accepted the fact that my husband didnt like s*x as much as I did. But after my first child,it got worse. My husband may not touch me for almost one month. It was a miracle that I conceived the second time.
We have been talking about this for some time. He encouraged me to use sexual toys to satisfy myself,even porn. Though that helped but it was not the same. I told him we could seek medical help but he would not listen. He says he cannot go to a fellow man (i.e,a doctor) and say he cannot satisfy his wife,that its a taboo. I tried to get him drugs but he didnt take them as prescribed.
Another major frustration I have is that my husband’s earning has not changed since we got married. The same amount he used to earn is what he still does. Thats not enough for our family of four. Even though I work as a nurse,I also make very little as well. I have encouraged my husband to let me do some side business ,maybe start up a baby clothing shop but he will not agree. He says I should concentrate on raising our kids. Well,I try but we have constant financial challenges and as long as we are not having multiple streams of income,things may not get better. This financial tension causes tension most times. When its time to pay rent,school fees,feeding clothing,etc..we quarrel alot. I stopped asking my mum to assist us after almost seven years because,I was getting embarrassed by the fact that still couldnt stand on our feet.
Recently,I have seen not one,not two…nude pictures that some random ladies have sent my husband. When I asked him,he says he does not know them but how did they get his no? This is really frustrating me. Someone who will nit touch me for almost two to three weeks will be looking at other women naked bodies?
I feel like my husband’s love for me is not as it used to be when we first got married. He keeps saying its not true but how do I explain all the above. I am lonely with my frustrations. Talking to him never gets anywhere. I then decided to stop talking as there was no use. I just wanted my peace of mind.We could go on for days at home without talking. I was sad. I spoke to my pastor and friends. They all counselled me to keep praying for things to change and get better.
So when my husband suggested that we take a vacation,I was really happy. I knew we needed to spend some time to find ourselves and fall in love and talk about our issues. But when we quarreled that night in Calabar after coming late from visiting my friends,my husband said some horrible things he forgot to mention to me. He called me a LovePeddler. He said,I was the reason things were not going fine for us. I was very hurt. I also said some hurtful things to him. I told him he wasn’t man enough for me. In anger we said alot of things.
I dont know but I just wanted to leave the house so I left early next morning. I didnt plan to but I ended up in Timi’s house. Timi,my child hood boyfriend is like an elder brother now. Since secondary school,we have not connected romantically. But seeing him the day before at our place brought back old memories. It dawned on me that the only time I can remember being truly happy was my secondary school days with Timi. When Timi saw me crying that early morning. He comforted me. I was an emotional wreck. From comforting me and holding me to stop crying,we had s*x. Timi is separated from his wife. For a flash moment,I thought our childish oath has brought us back together. But after the act,both of us were ashamed. We spoke about it and Timi was very sorry too. He told me not to tell my husband but I felt it was best to be honest especially since we were trying to mend our marriage.
So thats what happened. I hope Malvin finds it in his heart to forgive me.I have no excuse for what I did. My only wish was that if only Malvin could love me the way a woman should be loved. If only he understood me or tried to. If only he could connect with my emotions. The problems in my marriage are far from over. Timi has to stop shielding me away. We need to talk about us,our future. We need to ask deep questions.
I love my husband very much but it seems he does not remember me anymore…that is the biggest night mare of any married woman. I am married but it feels like I am not. The only thing giving me joy is my children.
I am willing to do anything to save my marriage but I am not sure Malvin wants the same. Whatever God wills,I am fine with it. I just pray Malvin tries to understand and forgive me.
Share my story please. The men may not agree with me. But any woman who is in my shoe would understand my pain and not judge me.  I have sinned,please forgive me my dear husband Malvin. All I want is for you to love me.
Thank you for taking time to read my long epistle.

Ebiere,

Lagos

....see more true life stories


www.livelystones.com.ng

I wish we can hear from the wife too to know why she decided to act soo strange.

DopeBoss:
Relationship Is Based On Trust Right?? Had It Been That He Trusts His Wife Frm D Start There Won't Be Any Suspicions And We Wnt Be Arguing Over D Matter Right Nw, Btw He Clearly Stated Dat His Wife Attitude Changed When She Got Promoted So I Dnt Get Hw He's Responsible For Her Attitude Change

Hello Mrs Malvin.
I thank you and your husband for agreeing to let us share your story. You are both going through alot at the moment and our prayers are with you.
First,I congratulate you for admitting your wrong. No matter what,you didnt have to cheat on your husband. If he did that to you,am not sure you would be quick to forgive.
Now,as I advised your husband,you both need to see a counselor. Once he agrees,I or any of our counselors can see you. I know he is hurting but its time to talk and begin to find solutions to your many issues,so that healing can begin. The infidelity is last straw but clearly ,there are many unresolved issues.
Lack of sex in a marriage is a huge challenge but it can be addressed.
The other issues,financial and emotional,all can be addressed. Let us know what both of you agree upon.This too shall pass.
God bless you.

ORAGBON:
Jzhane 13/12/2017 Family 3 Comments

Dear Lively Stones,

My husband gave his side of the story of what happened in my marriage. Permit me to give my own side of the story as well.

First of all,I must say that I am very sorry for cheating on my husband with an ex. I am deeply sorry. I know I did something very wrong and unforgivable. The thought of it makes me cringe and I can NEVER forgive myself for what I did. I used to hear of people cheating on their wives and wives cheating on their husbands:never in a million years did I dream that could be me.


My name is Ebiere. I love my husband. We have been married for almost seven years. We are blessed with two lovely children:one boy and one girl.

When Malvin and I got married,we were very happy. One thing though that has been an issue in our marriage is the fact that I have more sexual libido than my own husband. Initially,I accepted the fact that my husband didnt like s*x as much as I did. But after my first child,it got worse. My husband may not touch me for almost one month. It was a miracle that I conceived the second time.

We have been talking about this for some time. He encouraged me to use sexual toys to satisfy myself,even porn. Though that helped but it was not the same. I told him we could seek medical help but he would not listen. He says he cannot go to a fellow man (i.e,a doctor) and say he cannot satisfy his wife,that its a taboo. I tried to get him drugs but he didnt take them as prescribed.

Another major frustration I have is that my husband’s earning has not changed since we got married. The same amount he used to earn is what he still does. Thats not enough for our family of four. Even though I work as a nurse,I also make very little as well. I have encouraged my husband to let me do some side business ,maybe start up a baby clothing shop but he will not agree. He says I should concentrate on raising our kids. Well,I try but we have constant financial challenges and as long as we are not having multiple streams of income,things may not get better. This financial tension causes tension most times. When its time to pay rent,school fees,feeding clothing,etc..we quarrel alot. I stopped asking my mum to assist us after almost seven years because,I was getting embarrassed by the fact that still couldnt stand on our feet.

Recently,I have seen not one,not two…nude pictures that some random ladies have sent my husband. When I asked him,he says he does not know them but how did they get his no? This is really frustrating me. Someone who will nit touch me for almost two to three weeks will be looking at other women naked bodies...see more

www.livelystones.com.ng

This is really a serious issue. This shows she still have feelings for her ex and probably has been in contact with him for him to have known she was around.

LivelyStones:
Hello Admin,

My wife and I have been having issues. The issues are bothered around a few things. The usual things that cause tension among couples: finances,work schedule,pressure,intimacy,etc. We have been quarreling and arguing alot as well. As a result of this,we decided to take a vacation to try and relax,maybe find some time to bond and fall in love with each other again.

We decided to go to my wife’s home town,Calabar. We figured that we could stay in their home as her mom was not around,she was visiting her other daughter in the US. The house is big and they have domestic staff who could attend to our needs.

We dropped our kids with my mom in Abeaokuta and headed to calabar. Our plan was to also spend some time in Obudu cattle ranch during our time there.

Our vacation was going well. We spent most of the day going out and seeing places. My wife took me to some places in her town. It was nice experiencing where she grew up.

One early morning,a man visited us in the family house. He was introduced to me as Timi. According to my wife,he was a family friend who came to check on her hearing that she was in town. I greeted him warmly and tried to get into conversation with him but he said he just came to say hello and was in a hurry. My wife saw him off to the door.

Later that day,around 1pm,we were relaxing and my wife said she wanted to go to the market. I asked her to send the domestic help but she said she wanted to also see a friend as well. I wanted to come but she said she just wanted a girl time alone with her friends. Ebiere left around 1pm and came back around to 8 in the night. I had tried calling her but her nos were not going through. I was really upset and asked why she went out for so long and didnt call back. We quarreled that night. She said I was being childish,that she just spent time with friends.

We didnt speak to each other that night. Next morning,Ebi left the house quite early and didnt tell me where she was going. I was very angry as well. She came back towards evening around 5.30pm. By then,I was worried. She came to me and said she was sorry. I accepted her apology and decided we make up. We were kissing and caressing but when it was time to make love,she started crying and saying she is sorry. I said ok but she kept saying Malvin I have wronged you,I am so sorry. I had to ask her what she means. She kept crying and said she was so angry last night with me that she went to her friend for comfort this morning but she ended up...,.see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

loooool

habsydiamond:
u no lord of the ring again ooo u are gradually turning to lord wey the ring dey run away from....

Most times, i still cant fathom why some men are this cruel. My dear ,its a pity you are going through this. I am just thinking , its divorce the solution to the matter?? Still think twice before embarking on the idea of divorce. I think you should watch ' WAR ROOM' .

ORAGBON:
Dear Admin,

I want a divorce. I have not discussed this with my husband but this is something I have been thinking about and it seems like the right thing to do.

The problem is,my husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and he is having an affair.

I found out about the affair this year and he is blaming me for the affair.

My husband and I met while in school almost 18 years ago. We dated throughout university. I got pregnant and we had a child while I was in my 300 level. Unfortunately,we lost the child six months after the child was born. Our little baby was with my mom while he fell sick,he died a few days later. My husband’s people blamed my mom for his death but we were young at the time and we tried to put that painful incident that behind us.

A year after school,we got married. Since we have been married,we have been trying to have children for several years without any success. My mother inlaw did not give me one minute of breathing space. Anytime she has the opportunity,she reminds me that its my fault that we dont have children because we killed the child God gave us during university days. My mother inlaw is a very wicked woman. My husband tries his best to put her in her place but its very hard. There is constant quarreling. Sometimes she hardly speaks to us for months.

On the eight year of our marriage,my husband agreed for us to adopt a baby. We didnt inform any of our families. After almost a year later,we were able to adopt a baby girl. Chito was a beautiful baby,a joy that I fell in love with at first sight.

My husband on the other hand found it a bit difficult to connect with Chito. His mother didnt even want to see her. The first year Chito came to us,my husband only held her for a few times. I didnt know when he started listening to his mother who was filling his head with ideas.

Its not been easy but I was hoping that with time,my husband would really come around. And I did actually think he was trying to make an effort. We celebrated Chito’s birthday and he indeed tried to participate. I was beginning to get hopeful.

Unfortunately,this year,I found out that my husband was having an affair with someone. I found out the lady was a younger lady. I dont know how they met but I totally was heart broken. The affair was a heavy blow to me and I couldnt forgive my husband. I discovered three months after I discovered the affair,my husband was still seeing the woman. I asked him why,he said that I pushed him to the woman because when I discovered the affair,I became cold to him. He went back to this woman and now she is pregnant....see more

...www.Livelystones.com.ng

Each time i hear or read stories like this ,it amazes me seriously. But my question has been , its there any specific duration for dating or courtship? Let say ,in another scenario, apart from this particular post. The guy really wants to marry the lady but trying to fix the main fundamentals up. Definitely,atleast one needs an apartment irrespective the type of house, he needs a job or business. What if he doesn't have either of this, and the dating is three years , should he break up ? ,

LivelyStones:
Dear Lively Stones,

Well done ,you guys are doing very well with the advise you give on the blog. I just discovered the blog and I have become hooked to it. God help you increase and do better.
I want to share my story too.
I dated Tony right from university till we graduated. I have had several admirers and suitor, but I turned all of them down. I swear I had never cheated on cheat on Tony because I truly love him and he knows. Because of how close we were, we shared a strong bond….We also did a lot of crazy things together which I cannot even mention.
After a while,I really thought Tony was in love with me the way I was, but am beginning to have doubt. We have been planning on getting married after been together for so long. However,for one reason or the other, the date for the wedding keeps getting moved up from one quarter of the year to another and from one year to another.This is our situation for almost 5 years now. Every year,I think will be the year and then,the year ends and nothing happens. Infact, his family members are beginning to worry. They all love me and call me their wife. Several times, in my presence the mother will ask him when is they will be going to see my parents and conclude the marriage plans.
Financially, I want to state that things are okay for us as we both have good jobs. So I really dont know why Tony keeps moving the date of the wedding. But lately I observe that when ever I bring up the marriage issue, his attitude changes(I mean facial expression & unusual coldness), even when I ask him lets talk about it, he is not always interested. he finds a way, or pick offense in very little or irrelevant thing and end the conversation.
Am 31 years now, I have a few admirers.....see more


www.Livelystones.com.ng

Exactly. But should dating last till 5 years plus ? hmmmm wetin d guy d wait for ? He is just playing with the babe.

olureignforever:
That's one of the disadvantages of long time courtship.

looooooool. it wont stop anything nah..

MrIjapa:
Pour hot water on his feet na.

Exactly , he may have seen another lady. Like she said, they have done some many nasty things together. Meaning, the guy has witnessed all and nothing is new and valuable to him again. She just has to move on with her live before menopause.

olureignforever:
Take your leave already? He has found a better option.

My dear Ada,
Please ,don't be blinded or held bound by feelings or emotions.
This tony guy is not serious dear. Please, move on with on with your life.
Don't just get into any relationship immediately. When you leave Tony, of course ,it may hurt coz he may also want to plead with you but don't let it affect you dear.
Just move on.

LivelyStones:
Dear Lively Stones,

Well done ,you guys are doing very well with the advise you give on the blog. I just discovered the blog and I have become hooked to it. God help you increase and do better.
I want to share my story too.
I dated Tony right from university till we graduated. I have had several admirers and suitor, but I turned all of them down. I swear I had never cheated on cheat on Tony because I truly love him and he knows. Because of how close we were, we shared a strong bond….We also did a lot of crazy things together which I cannot even mention.
After a while,I really thought Tony was in love with me the way I was, but am beginning to have doubt. We have been planning on getting married after been together for so long. However,for one reason or the other, the date for the wedding keeps getting moved up from one quarter of the year to another and from one year to another.This is our situation for almost 5 years now. Every year,I think will be the year and then,the year ends and nothing happens. Infact, his family members are beginning to worry. They all love me and call me their wife. Several times, in my presence the mother will ask him when is they will be going to see my parents and conclude the marriage plans.
Financially, I want to state that things are okay for us as we both have good jobs. So I really dont know why Tony keeps moving the date of the wedding. But lately I observe that when ever I bring up the marriage issue, his attitude changes(I mean facial expression & unusual coldness), even when I ask him lets talk about it, he is not always interested. he finds a way, or pick offense in very little or irrelevant thing and end the conversation.
Am 31 years now, I have a few admirers.....see more


www.Livelystones.com.ng

This is really sad. I believe the mum is behind the whole stuff. Why are some men like this ? You both agreed to adopt a child and now you no longer relate with the child.

ORAGBON:
Dear Admin,

I want a divorce. I have not discussed this with my husband but this is something I have been thinking about and it seems like the right thing to do.

The problem is,my husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and he is having an affair.

I found out about the affair this year and he is blaming me for the affair.

My husband and I met while in school almost 18 years ago. We dated throughout university. I got pregnant and we had a child while I was in my 300 level. Unfortunately,we lost the child six months after the child was born. Our little baby was with my mom while he fell sick,he died a few days later. My husband’s people blamed my mom for his death but we were young at the time and we tried to put that painful incident that behind us.

A year after school,we got married. Since we have been married,we have been trying to have children for several years without any success. My mother inlaw did not give me one minute of breathing space. Anytime she has the opportunity,she reminds me that its my fault that we dont have children because we killed the child God gave us during university days. My mother inlaw is a very wicked woman. My husband tries his best to put her in her place but its very hard. There is constant quarreling. Sometimes she hardly speaks to us for months.

On the eight year of our marriage,my husband agreed for us to adopt a baby. We didnt inform any of our families. After almost a year later,we were able to adopt a baby girl. Chito was a beautiful baby,a joy that I fell in love with at first sight.

My husband on the other hand found it a bit difficult to connect with Chito. His mother didnt even want to see her. The first year Chito came to us,my husband only held her for a few times. I didnt know when he started listening to his mother who was filling his head with ideas.

Its not been easy but I was hoping that with time,my husband would really come around. And I did actually think he was trying to make an effort. We celebrated Chito’s birthday and he indeed tried to participate. I was beginning to get hopeful.

Unfortunately,this year,I found out that my husband was having an affair with someone. I found out the lady was a younger lady. I dont know how they met but I totally was heart broken. The affair was a heavy blow to me and I couldnt forgive my husband. I discovered three months after I discovered the affair,my husband was still seeing the woman. I asked him why,he said that I pushed him to the woman because when I discovered the affair,I became cold to him. He went back to this woman and now she is pregnant....see more

...www.Livelystones.com.ng

Its possible the lady has something she is hiding.