₦airaland Forum

Money and Power tell the real character of an individual.
For now ,i cant agree to the fact that ,the love he is proclaiming ia very real.I think you should end all now or you may regret later.

ORAGBON:
Jzhane 24/12/2017 Ask Jzhane, Dating 1 Comment

Dear Lively Stones.

I decided to ask this question as I perceive your platform is a no judgement zone.I am a thirty eight year old single mother. I have a four year old son. His father has moved on.For almost two years,I haven’t dated anyone.

Recently,my neighbor’s younger brother finished NYSC and moved to Lagos for greener pastures.


Casper is a nice looking young man who is always willing to assist me with stuff like putting on my generator or lifting heavy stuff from my car to my apartment.

We hung out in my apartment one day,he stayed with me all day,It was a public holiday if I remember. The gist got to girls who can knock out guys with s*x. He boasted that no girl could do that to him. Well,we dared each other and we slept with each other.

Since that day,we have been sleeping with each other as we both find it hard to resist the attraction.

I wanted to put a stop to this but Casper would not hear of it. He says he loves me and would want to marry me. He is 26 years old. He has said he would get his apartment once he gets his first job so we can be together. But when that will be,I dont know. He is fresh from school with no job and he is almost 12 years younger.

My greatest fear is if his....Read More


www.livelystones.com.ng

Exactly.

Yoshy:
Shikena.

But it can be very annoying shaaaaa.
Delaying someone for four years .
What does she expect ,that she will look valued ?
Well, its not always like that.

ORAGBON:
hmnnn, why pay evil for evil?

Exactly.
She really stressed the guy ohhh for four years .

coolcharm:
The truth is .. He hung on for that long for his ego. Now, he's got you, he has conquered you... And on he moves to the next challenge.

Last shot.. Don't agree to date a man you've kept in a cooler for long.... He might just be coming to get one over you eventually.

looooooool.

apholaryn:
lol..after u surfer him fr good 4 yrs u con dey cry crocodile tears. He neva start with u ehn...una go still tall things much more n more n more slower,in short in snail speed self.

Hmmm!!!
I think you first send the proposal to the husband first.
We are trying to remedy a situation here Sir.

LuvSwollenPussy:
Come and sleep with me...im d man..I'm a free donor...I don't charge for sperm discharge. When I finish and you conceive, anything God put in ur mind to give me u can bring

Hmmmmm!!
Cheating on him secretly does not solve the issue nah.
Thats even making it worst.

marunga:
secretly cheat on him

Hello,
Thank you for this information.
I am a resident of United Arab Emirates , UAE with legal work permit residence.
I am thinking of visiting George town Guyana for a month vacation in October next year.
From what i read ,you said i can get visa on arrival at the airport since their embassy is not in Nigeria.
I need some information regards the best and most affordable way to fly to the place.
As for hotel , my friend can book online for me and send me the details.
I look forward to your response.
Thank You

naijaspeak:
Guyana is the only English Speaking Country in South America. Although we still have Falkland Island a country down south of that continent that is also English speaking which is under British control. For Guyana it is a member of the Commonwealth just like Nigeria. Being an English speaking country it is a popular travel destination for Nigerian students wishing to study medicine,nursing, pharmacies, dentistry and other allied courses. Guyana is bordered by Venezuela (spanish speaking) to the left and Suriname (dutch speaking) to the right. Under Guyana you have Brazil ( portuguese speaking )Up above Guyana, you have Barbados, St Lucia, Grenada. Trinidad and Tobago ( these are group of caribean countries) This neighbouring countries makes Guyana a special place to visit as you can move to these countries bordering Guyana to learn portuguese,spanish,dutch,including French language in places like French Guiana. There is no Guyanese embassy in Nigeria so one of the alternatve is to apply through a country that has their embassy such as London ( UK ) South Africa, Brazil etc A second alternative is to travel to Guyana and be issued with a Visa at the airport the Guyanese immigration allows this so long as there are no Guyanese embassy in your country of origin but you must prove that you have sufficient fund for your stay in Guyana and also you have a return ticket to your home country or other country that you are allowed to exit. You will also show your accommodation or hotel details as per where you will be staying. There is no direct flight from Nigeria. You have to go through (transit) Europe ( UK, Germany, Holland, France ) or through North America ( Canada,USA, ) and Brazil. But I would advise Nigerian to take the Brazil transit route as you do not need a transit visa to fly through Brazil so long as you do not leave the Airport area ( transit zone ) but you must leave their airport and catch a flight from Sau Paulo within 8 hours or get deported. There can be ugly cases in which due to cancellation of flight you can not get your connecting flight and you are faced with the risk of a deportation from Brazil.There have been reported cases of Nigerian who have been deported by Brazilian immigration authority. But some Nigerians transiting through Brazilian airport who was so unlucky to catch a connecting flight through Brazil ' s Sau Paulo airport have claimed that their immigration officer can be bribed to keep a traveller beyond the 8 hours transit stay or time. I would rather suggest you get a Brazilian visa from Nigeria, tourist or transit visa before leaving Nigeria, travel to Brazil and then continue from there to Guyana.

Exactly.

LivelyStones:
Very true. The biological father might find out and this will still bring them back to square zero

I saw this story ,I felt I should use it to encourage you instead of yielding to your in-law advice.
A Swiss woman who is married to a Nigerian from Anambra state, has shared her touching story after she thought she wouldn't have children because she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome PCOS. According to woman who is now a mother of three including a set of twins, she shared her story in a bid to encourage other women who are waiting to get pregnant and tell them there is hope.

Read what she shared online;

There was a time in my life I thought I couldn't have children. My doctor told me I suffered from PCOS - the most common endocrine disorder among women between the ages 18 and 44 - and that my chances of having children were close to zero.

When you are dreaming of starting your own family, the pain and heartache that go with such a diagnose are absolutely overwhelming. But as it turned out, God had a different plan for me. Today I am not only the proud mother of three children, but on top of that, I can proudly call myself mama ejima!

This is a very personal fact about me and I was really not sure if I should write about it at first. But knowing that there are other women like me, looking for a child at this very moment, or husbands waiting for their wife's to get pregnant, I just felt it was right to share my story and tell you all that there is hope. I am a living proof.

ORAGBON:
Dear Jzhane,

Please advise me. I am totally confused,and I dont know what to do.

I have been married for almost four years now. We have been trying to conceive since we got married but it is yet to happen.


Last Year,after plenty arguments,my husband and I started fertility treatments. During the process,one if the tests showed that my husband has zero sperm count. That means,he does not produce sperm,that means he cannot father a child.

We were both heart broken and we started looking at other options we could acquire to help us have children. We were looking to adopt and we had started looking into the possibility when my mother in law invited me to see her in Owerri.

I went to see her and she told me not to adopt another man’s child when I can still have my own. She said that there is nothing like having your own child. That the adopted child will never feel like your own especially when they grow up and begin to ask questions

I was wondering how she meant we should have our own child when it was clear that my husband,her son is impotent.

It was at that point that my dear mother in-law told me that she has a plan for me to have our own child if I....see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

After ,he was the one that donated it to sperm bank.

ubunja:
jonny there is no country where a man can take a baby from a woman coz his sperm was used without his permission to get that woman pregnant.
c'mon now.!!!

No nah...that won't be a good advice nah.
She should not try it at all .

whonamehelp:

sleep with the man.
please, use a condom to avoid infecting your husband with Hiv.

My dear ,
Don't listen to her at all.
Your husband must be aware of what ever decision you make.

ORAGBON:
Dear Jzhane,

Please advise me. I am totally confused,and I dont know what to do.

I have been married for almost four years now. We have been trying to conceive since we got married but it is yet to happen.


Last Year,after plenty arguments,my husband and I started fertility treatments. During the process,one if the tests showed that my husband has zero sperm count. That means,he does not produce sperm,that means he cannot father a child.

We were both heart broken and we started looking at other options we could acquire to help us have children. We were looking to adopt and we had started looking into the possibility when my mother in law invited me to see her in Owerri.

I went to see her and she told me not to adopt another man’s child when I can still have my own. She said that there is nothing like having your own child. That the adopted child will never feel like your own especially when they grow up and begin to ask questions

I was wondering how she meant we should have our own child when it was clear that my husband,her son is impotent.

It was at that point that my dear mother in-law told me that she has a plan for me to have our own child if I....see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

Exactly.
Thats why He is Jesus Christ.
Smiles.

ORAGBON:
He will forgive and not talk about it again

She has to also prepare her mind to accept the outcome in good faith as a punishment for her sins. After all when Paul was converted , he suffered blindness small.

LivelyStones:
Firstly repentant toward God must be done by the wife. As there is no justification for her action. Then she ask for forgiveness from her husband and her husband brother's wife.

Hmmmmm, He should keep up with what will back fire soonest Nooooo!!! loool. Serious gbegeee.

thedondada:
Lol.

Keep the hustle bro. Keep it up

Well, this factors many not be 100% applicable as human beings are unpredictable and unique. We still have guys who have shown interest in commitment , even got the lady engaged but still have other ladies out their. Its just like reading James Hardley Chase novel then that paints a picture of how a lovely guy may look which made lots of ladies fell victims of such. Its actually depends.

ORAGBON:
Meeting a good guy who’s actually unattached can be exciting. But looks can be deceiving. He might be single, but that doesn’t mean he’s available. Even if he has no girlfriend and some free time, that doesn’t mean he has room for you. So here are five early signs he’s emotionally unavailable....see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

I believe that marriage is meant to be avoid to avoid issues. Openness should be allowed.

ORAGBON:
Many people tell me they keep secrets from their partner because they think telling the truth will make things worse. Or they believe that their significant other simply couldn’t handle the truth and that it might end the relationship.

For instance, Kerry never told Brad that she was married briefly in her early 20s even though they’ve been dating for over a year. She explains: “I don’t really see a reason to tell Brad because it was a brief marriage and we ended on good terms. I just don’t want him to judge me harshly because he was raised Catholic.”

When I attempted to explore with Kerry the distinct possibility that Brad might find out someday — especially if they decide to get married — Kerry said: “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” At this point, I asked Kerry to consider that mistrust erodes the quality of any relationship and that keeping important secrets isn’t a way to build trust with a romantic partner.


Recent research shows that one in five people are keeping a major secret, such as infidelity or money troubles, from their spouse. Surprisingly, a quarter of respondents in this study said they kept this secret for more than 25 years. Further, one in four of those people who kept a secret in this study said that it was so big, they worried that it would destroy their marriage. Common secrets reported include money troubles, pornography and various forms of betrayal such as infidelity.

While trust is an essential element of an intimate relationship, it can be easily broken and hard to repair. When your partner withholds important information from you regardless of their reasons, it’s normal to feel betrayed. For many people any form of deceit can be a deal breaker. For example, Leah, a 29-year-old occupational therapist explains: “Trust and communication are major difficulties for me. It takes a lot to build my trust and if it’s broken, there’s a possibility it may not be earned back.”

According to author Kristen Houghton, relationships are made up of many components and people will put up with many quirks to keep a relationship going. She writes: “But if you are consistently made to feel uncomfortable or uneasy because you feel as if you cannot trust your partner, then making the decision not to take him or her back is the logical one for you. Life needs quality and a sense of security.” In other words, by keeping secrets or lying to your partner, you run the risk that you will lose their trust and put your relationship in jeopardy.

Five reasons why it’s a good idea not to keep secrets:....see more

www.livelystones.com.ng

Seriously people,
This is a serious issue .
I am just thinking how this family will survive this.
I think she should open up to the husband and face the music.

ORAGBON:
Fourteen years ago,I married Tim who was the love of my life. He was a very handsome young man who swept me off my feet.Tim had just returned from the US to start off his music career in Nigeria.I was fresh out of law school. But we were so in love,we didnt care whether we had money or not. We just wanted to be together.Our wedding was made possible by all the things we borrowed from friends and family.We moved into our one room apartment in Surulere and we were so happy.

We worked so hard and before long,things started looking up for us. By the time we had our first child,we were already making enough money to start a building project. Tim and I were a team. We did everything and planned together. Our future seemed promising.



In the third year of our marriage,Tim cheated on me. That betrayal changed everything. Changed our lives. I was so hurt, I cried for days and weeks non stop. I wanted to leave the marriage but my husband and family members kept pleading and asking me to forgive him.


One day,my brother in law,my husband’s elder brother who was working in Chevron at the time came to live with us for the weekend. He was unmarried at the time. That weekend,my husband had a show at the island so I spent Friday night watching movies with Roy. We watched a movie about a lady who cheated on her cheating husband. It looked as of the movie was talking to me. Long story short,after the movie,I started crying and Roy tried to comfort me. Things had not been the same since the affair,I felt so warm and loved when Roy held me. I was still very hurt by Tim’s betrayal. Roy held me like he knew i wanted to be comforted,held and loved. From that day till 10 years later,Roy and I have been sleeping with each other when we have any opportunity. We just continued anytime we could.

No one suspected us. We were very discreet. Even when Roy got married four years later,we still continued. People only knew that Roy saw me as his favorite sister in law. No one ever thought that we were doing more than that.

Through out my almost 10 year affair with Roy,I knew Tim was not faithful either so it made it less difficult to feel any guilt.

Unfortunately, this year.last July,Roy’s wife found out about me and her husband....see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

Well, not hopeless totally . it can be remedied if all parties act mature.

ORAGBON:
looks like an hopeless situation.

Hmmmmm!

Nawa for this lady ohhhh.

She no see outsider d sleep with , its her brother inlaw.

Things d happen shaaa.

Abi ,the husband sleeping with her Sister or cousin

ORAGBON:
Fourteen years ago,I married Tim who was the love of my life. He was a very handsome young man who swept me off my feet.Tim had just returned from the US to start off his music career in Nigeria.I was fresh out of law school. But we were so in love,we didnt care whether we had money or not. We just wanted to be together.Our wedding was made possible by all the things we borrowed from friends and family.We moved into our one room apartment in Surulere and we were so happy.

We worked so hard and before long,things started looking up for us. By the time we had our first child,we were already making enough money to start a building project. Tim and I were a team. We did everything and planned together. Our future seemed promising.



In the third year of our marriage,Tim cheated on me. That betrayal changed everything. Changed our lives. I was so hurt, I cried for days and weeks non stop. I wanted to leave the marriage but my husband and family members kept pleading and asking me to forgive him.


One day,my brother in law,my husband’s elder brother who was working in Chevron at the time came to live with us for the weekend. He was unmarried at the time. That weekend,my husband had a show at the island so I spent Friday night watching movies with Roy. We watched a movie about a lady who cheated on her cheating husband. It looked as of the movie was talking to me. Long story short,after the movie,I started crying and Roy tried to comfort me. Things had not been the same since the affair,I felt so warm and loved when Roy held me. I was still very hurt by Tim’s betrayal. Roy held me like he knew i wanted to be comforted,held and loved. From that day till 10 years later,Roy and I have been sleeping with each other when we have any opportunity. We just continued anytime we could.

No one suspected us. We were very discreet. Even when Roy got married four years later,we still continued. People only knew that Roy saw me as his favorite sister in law. No one ever thought that we were doing more than that.

Through out my almost 10 year affair with Roy,I knew Tim was not faithful either so it made it less difficult to feel any guilt.

Unfortunately, this year.last July,Roy’s wife found out about me and her husband....see more


www.livelystones.com.ng

Such Family needs serious cleansing .

There is no way two wrongs can make a right.

Jochabed:
Wow!! Its disgusting.

If it was your hubby that hugged his Ex in your presence . What will you do or how will you feel ?

LivelyStones:
The ride home was the most quiet and awkward ride ever. I mean,you could cut the silence with a knife.

Finally,I couldnt take it anymore.

”What is the matter Tunji?””..”What is biting you so much that you have suddenly lost your tongue. I have been talking to you for almost five minutes after we got into the car yet you have remained mute. What have I done?”

Tunji,my husband looked at me like in disbelief and blurted out: are you for real? Are you serious right now?

You let your ex boyfriend hug you like that in my presence and you dare feign ignorance to me?

Wow!…so that was it? I couldnt believe that an innocent hug from an ex boyfriend whom we met ,whom we ran into in the mall is the cause of our present predicament.

Earlier on this evening,we were shopping at the mall and I heard my name from a shopper on the que behind me.

”Its a lie,Shola?…Oh My God,is it truly you”…when I turned,I was staring into Ice,my ex boyfriend who last saw like seven years ago. We hugged because it was a normal thing,it came naturally,there was no awkwardness about it and immediately I introduced him to my husband who was standing next to me.

Ice was like…aww,so this is the lucky guy who stole my ex girlfriend? We all laughed. I thought it was a fun time. We even chatted for a couple of minutes before we parted ways. So imagine my shock when we were done shopping and I was talking to my husband and he was ignoring me.

I was a bit upset at first. I asked Tunji to help me drop some of the groceries in the boot and he was like: Get it yourself!

I got into the car and asked him why he was being mean and he just started the car and we drove off. Five to ten minutes into the ride,we were both silent. I was angry that Tunji didn’t help me with the groceries. Little did I know that was the least of our worries.

So I looked at Tunji in disbelief and said,but I hugged him in your presence and you didn’t mind?.

He responded: What was I supposed to do? Jump on him in public? You should know better not to disrespect me in public with your ex...see more

www.livelystones.com.ng

But do some ladies use these fruits or it's just a joke

Macgreat:
Is possible she used Cucumber and a very large one.


My advise to ladies - use carrots its smaller and healthier.

Go and see a counselor.

ORAGBON:
Hello Admin,

I have been a follower of your posts on Facebook and \i am so glad I came in contact with your blog. I love the beautiful articles on your site and your response, God bless you ma’am. I live in Port. Pls i want to remain anonymous.
I have been married for about a year and my marriage is deteriorating right in my eyes and its as though it cannot be salvaged, I don’t think I can help cos am dazed.
After my youth service, I got a good job in port Harcourt and all has been fine. I am God fearing man,at least,I like to think that I am. when I met my wife, she said no sex until after marriage I was not troubled,in fact, I said this is God sent. We met in church and courted for 2years before we got married and sincerely we didn’t do it(had s*x). In fact, on the day of the wedding I was very excited, because I thought I was marrying a decent lady. Though she told me she was not a virgin(I don’t want to go into that for now) I believed her story. As we courted for two years without sex, i counted myself lucky on my wedding day.
But all that excitement was for nothing. You ask why? From the night of our wedding,having intercourse has always been a problem for us.I don’t enjoy sexual intercourse with my wife. Each time we are making love, I don’t feel sensation, its as though am in a swimming pool, that is the only word i can use to described my experience.initially I thought it was excitement. But it getting worse day after day, week n month after month. There is no feeling,apparently,she is quite open in her privates. I have never met anyone like her.
My male organ is not small, so this has nothing to do with me. Unconsciously,I have withdrawn from her, cause this is affecting psychologically. We tried to talk it over, but I don’t even know how to…. she has been worried and she been crying almost every day.
I am so confused, i dont know what to think as so many crazy thought been going through my head.has she been cheating on me all these while?One thing is certain,her sexual experience before we got married must have been something else. Guys talk about sleeping with prostitutes and having no feeling but I never been with one so I honestly couldn’t tell. Is it possible that my wife was once a prostitute?.....see more

www.Livelystones.com.ng

Haaaaa!

Without hearing from her ?

No be like that nah.

Looool.

ORAGBON:
Lol!

You really outlined it well but maybe she didn't see it that way.

She just has to apologize.

Paulosky1900:
you are very wrong dear..
1. you hugged him in his presence which is wrong..here is africa not western world

2. you sent him to help you drop some stuffs in the boot why chatting withyour ex asin houseboy abi? must you send him such infront of your ex..my dear what are you trying to imply.

3. my dear you better go and apologize to him cos you got everything whole wrong for the sake of your marriage..

goodmorning buddies.

Yes. What you said is actually true. But in this case,the story said it's the guys family. He can't just stop them like that nah. Or what do you think he should do to avoid it next time. Pick up a quarrel or what do you think ?

IAMSASHY:
if she had avoided dem, dey won't bring dat cake, atleast once in awhile, "hi" on social media is k bt as u can see, d closeness is still much, she has succeeded in hvin d family on her side, d only person remaining is d ex, cnt u see she is gradually winning d game? wen u breakup wt ur ex and u try to move on wt a new person, if u stl keep in touch wt ur ex, it wl b 90% easier 4 d feelings u once shared 2 rise and reconnect dan 4 u 2 develop genuine feelings wt d new person.

But for them not to be dating doesnt mean they are enemy nah. Anyone can present cake as birthday gift. Moreover, its the ex family not the ex .

IAMSASHY:
totally unacceptable,bringing dat cake is jst 2much 4 a relationship dat crashed 2years ago. If truly she has moved on wt u, she cud hv as well avoided d family and anything dat has 2 do wt d ex. If sometin has not started going on now, it will definitely start soon, dnt b surprised dat d family mayb trying so hard 2 convince dia son to go bak 2 her. It's either she's wt u or she leaves 2 avoid anoda man fathering ur kids

You are being paranoid bro. There is nothing wrong in the family of her ex wishing him ,happy birthday . Anybody one cash wish anyone happy birthday.
She knew them before you.
For one to be Ex,doesn't mean you are enemies.

LivelyStones:
Dear Jzhane,


My Fiancee is very friendly to her ex’s family . I mean,I didnt even know that she keeps in touch with them until on her birthday,they sent her a cake. I didnt even know until someone made a comment that hmm,Fola’s family knows how to send amazing cakes o.

I picked it up,I knew she said her ex name is Fola. At that point,I asked why they send her cake and she was like they know its her birthday and they did that for almost six years,even after the break up which is almost like two years ago.

I told her I was not comfortable with it and she replied that I should chill that Fola her ex has a new girlfriend . I must confess that didnt make me comfortable.

I told her to cease communication with them and she flipped out ,saying I was acting immature. I left her birthday angry and as I was leaving,I went through her facebook posts...see more

www.livelystones.com.ng

But , if he can handle the consequences , then he should tell her.

Heshei:
Don't tell her !!!!!

I repeat DONT tell her !!!!!

Imagine !

Atleast , they ought to have moved to a cheaper house.

Definitely , the rent will soon expire.

wtfcoded:
U mean u pay 1m for house rent?