Nubian113:
Wisest words as usual. Op here's your pearl

Wishing you a blessed new year sir

Lol. It's been long I come up with my usual epistle on relationship issues so decided to give it a go. Hoping it helps.

Happy new year, London beauty.

Your problem has nothing to do with mental disorder or has any connection with your mental soundness. You're more likely battling shyness, fear of rejection and social anxiety and only you can emancipate yourself from it.

I think the first thing you need do is to understand no woman is above you and don't place them on a pedestal. You've to muster the courage to approach any woman you like and understand that the worse case scenario is that she says no and no ends at no, they won't bite you. Don't attach much significance on the woman you intend to talk to and assume them to be on same strata as you.

Don't let fear of rejection hamper you from making a move towards a woman you like. The worse thing about rejection is rejection in itself and if within your mind you've accept rejection then you get rejection. But if you've within your heart vowed you'll win her over so shall it manifest.

Fear of rejection is an offshoot of low self esteem and you need to work on your confidence. You've to build up yourself before you can overcome self esteem. As it appears you look down on yourself and if you don't think high of yourself there's no way another person can think high of you. Do all you can to develop some confidence.

I'm guessing you're introverted but you need to start going out to socialise more. Meet people, join social gatherings as much as you can. You've to start attending events where there are loads of ladies and interact with them as much as you can. It might be hard at the incipient but as time goes on you'd adapt.

I think most guys were like you at some point in their lives and its nothing strange. Only that you've refused to leave your shyness behind you at the appropriate time and it has eaten deep into your system. Go out there, socialise, attend parties, make female friends and identify the one you like and chyke the hell outta that mademoiselle.

Babe is not into you and it seems you're forcing yourself on her. There's nothing like she can't see you coz you're just in a relationship or past experience. If she was into you she would sneeze out time to see you no matter what could hamper her from doing so. She would be lively and always wiling to chat you up. Stop wasting your time and move on to the next one. Them plenty.

obiorathesubtle:
asikwam na I bu ekwurekwu nwanne.. Beko kwa.. Ngwanu, ka odiri otu e si ekwu ya nu..

Haha, ya diba sie nu otu a afu. Onwe mbe m'bu baba epistle, mana ike epistle agu go'm.

lilzcee:
i wish it was ur younger brother that u gave this advice

My younger brother won't be as docile and stupid to ask for such a dumb question in the first place. Olodo, no go read your book dey follow woman wey you never dey work 1naira.

obiorathesubtle:
op made a point


Where did the poster above me get all the energy or motivation to write all that?? Nigga must be a life coach or counsellor or sth.

OP, si ka anyi kalia nu, o bu part nke'm ka nkwuru. Abum ekwurekwu sha o.

I once read of a story where it was alleged that Lagos home owners no longer lease their homes to single ladies, you must be married and present evidence. Such situation only add up pressure for women to get married as they are disregarded unless they can boast of a husband.

Like you said the more people feel pressured to get married, the likelihood they would marry an incompatible partner. Even the increase rate of divorce in today's society is an evidence of a marriage that should never had happened in the first place.

I'm of the believe that people shouldn't make marriage a priority in their lives and shouldn't set out looking for who to marry them. But should rather be on the search out for love and good companionship. When they find love, marriage is eminent.

Relationship is a ladder to marriage but relationship in itself isn't a springboard to marriage. Marriage mustn't be an end goal to every relationship. Embark on a relationship to experience love and return love and if marriage comes up, fine.

In a nutshell, one shouldn't date coz they want to get married, they should coz it guarantees happiness and love. Only then can we be close to certainty that we're exchanging vows with an ideal one. Else, marriages will keep crumbling.

Give her your tuition fees and 80% of your monthly allawee. You've to prove you love her bruv.

The pic attached to the story is familiar and I've seen it somewhere over a year ago. Please where and when did your source tell you it happened? Or did you just conjure up a story to attract traffic to your blog

sickstars:
Who wana marry a humanbeing who quantify a woman with an object

Exactly why he can't find himself a woman offline. His view about women is nauseating and I'm afraid for the unfortunate woman he ends up with.

Utter codswallop. What you highlighted here are mere conjecture and hypothesis which can and has never been proven.

Career and independent women aren't arrogant, only weak and domineering men think so. They want a woman they can control and lord over but career women wouldn't usually have it. An aversion to dominance and paramountcy of alpha male kinda men doesn't equate to arrogance.

The house chores part is also bullsh1t. The performing of house chores isn't solely a woman's responsibility. A man can sweep, clean, cook and nurse the baby. Career driven independent woman would not double as a maid why the hubby does nothing at home. So any man who's frightened by career women is an alpha male who thinks a woman's role ends in the kitchen and house chores. A man who want a maid for a wife and lazy ass who has refused to share house chores.

About the cheating point I don't know where you sniff that out from. Must have been from excess smoking of ganja. What's the correlation between career women and cheating? Crap.

Lanicky, number one rule for a cheater is to dump their ass. Every other is secondary and not worth deliberating on.

ogmaskman:


He married her because she is Nigerian. He mentioned the reasons too. Pls read again.

I think he's just stating the benefits of marrying a Nigerian, not the reason he got attracted to her and married her. Both aren't same.

Except, people now get attracted to people and fall in love with them based on their country of origin then I'd say I'm learning that for the first time and I daresay is a wrong reason to fall in love.

TheSonOfMark:


Maybe the OP is a chronic womanizer. Maybe she feels the OP's philandering lifestyle would influence his friend (her boyfriend). Maybe the OP barely dates women for long.

I could give a thousand reasons why she feels her relationship is threatened by their continuous friendship.


The OP's friend shouldn't have told him about her fears though. He should have allayed her fears by reiterating his commitment to continuously make his relationship with her work. That's what A MATURED MAN should do.

Fair retort. I understand her reasons for kicking against their friendship is valid. But she should also know that his reason for maintaining the friendship for ages is also valid. And if the OP is a womaniser, chances are that her boyfriend too could be one. For them to have sustained their friendship that long means they could have common habits.

The thing with most ladies is that they would rather neglect and pain no attention to their significant other misdemeanor but would rather think their friends are the influencer of such habit or could sway them. Their partner friends are usually a soft target rather than cast out the demon from their lover themselves.

He doesn't have to wait till her deadline elapses to be kicked out, kick her ass out first.

Childhood friendship is true friendship, the bond sometimes is stronger than that which exist between blood relatives. Any lady or any one who dare want to come in-between should be oust out.

missyadorable:
To all Nigerian men

If you have ever slept with a girl who is not your wife,may you become completely impotent

If you have ever slept with any woman other than your wife,may your d**k disappear forever!

Amen!

No sense made.

derespect:
If an Oyinbo man can appreciate Nigeria, who am I nt to be proud of my fatherland?
I am proudly Nigerian!

Well, he didn't marry her coz she's Nigerian, he did coz he fell in love with her and they're compatible.

You love her? Buy her the phone then. And don't forget to drop her your atm card, that's what lovers do.

wristbangle:


Boss, when will your ban expire?

Haha. Egbon mi, na Friday o. The mod dey mean wallahi.

zicoraads:
So, TonyeBarcanista was actually telling someone to grow up?

Jesu Kristi What an irony

It seems the whole Estharfabian's ish started elsewhere. But I totally hate it when people go to people's diaries to pick whatever they have put in there to come at them with. To me its both childish and petty. And then we have those who will descend to the level of a toddler to actually get to know someone away from here and then use a picture from either their BBM profiles or Whatsapp to come at them.

And may God help the person who will be stupid enough to quote me and spew bile!

Oh so some of the info about her was gotten from her diary? Now I'm getting a clearer picture of where her age and other info about her emanated from. But while I condemn using any info gotten from private chatting apps to hound someone, I feel indifferent about the diary ish.

Anyone who put their private life and classified info about them in public, should know that it would be use against them. You don't go about dancing ashilogu in the market square and expect not to be assume as mad.

TheSonOfMark:







Stumbled on the below:




www.nairaland.com/2553809/nothing-without-man-ladies#37350704.

Rings a bell, right? Reminds you guys of someone?

.

I can vividly recall vickybee using that line severally about guys starting to beg girls for marriage. This is 100% verified 'she's' the one behind the Easterfabian account. But how pathetic some people lives is. What could really be the problem

Deexxy:

no qualms. I was prepared for the ban sef.

I saw when you were trying to tell him but I was wondering if he would ever take heed to it. Well it didn't take long before I found out about that.

Who's even sure she's 17 abi na wetin she tell the people wey she tell be that. Anyone fit claim anything and age online. Whoever is behind that character stomach so much hate and pile to be just 17.

Oliviaarims:



Yea, I get it. But since u all assume she's 17 and a kid, It twud have been best to overlook her excesses, as long as it wasn't directed to any of u.

I never knew 'she's' 17 until tonight. I'd let 'her' be provided 'she' desist from man-hating. Otherwise, she can be my guest. Being a minor doesn't give one the rights and leverage to attack guys

Deexxy:

This is funny though

In a way sha.

Deexxy:

Why? Because of what you said on this thread?

How come he didn't see us?

Yes, coz of my calling Cutehector to order albeit bluntly. I've tried to talk some sense to that dude nicely on the end of year awards but he didn't grasp so I had to call blue blue.

TheSonOfMark:


Welcome to the club.

These sexist moderators naturally assume in any squabble involving males and females, the males should get the stick for being blunt with the females. But they should have realised they can't stop us.

Over time they'd get tired of blacklisting your moniker 'cause you can't be intimidated by them.
_Ishilove came to that realization with me.

You see, this year I've vowed to be different. Started being blunt and vulgar (if needs be) from last quarter of last year. I can't be intimated nor silenced by any sexist ninny. No way.

You know what I find amusing in the whole drama tonight is the fact that a lady, whoever it is, didn't only consider Hector sane but went further to involve herself in a relationship with him. Indeed, class and taste means nothing to some people.

Deexxy:

My own na anti-spam bot fire me for another thread and e be like say these mods dey sleep cos them never reply my mail.

Mine was a deliberate ban from myńd44 and its due to expire till 15th.

Oliviaarims:



U guys should just let her be.

Olivia, I don't usually do this and in fact this is my first time of partaking in an e-brawl. And the few passive times I did was with members of my sex as I personally consider picking on a female is petit and unworthy.

But Estharfabian you'd agree with me has been displaying some extreme views and unwarrantedly attack guys always. Even then, my main involvement was for cutehector and didn't pick on her. Nonetheless, 'she' got what 'she' deserves.

E no go better for the mod wey ban me o. Finally, got my first ban. If it takes calling blue blue to get ban, not a problem.

Tallesty1:
Goan sleep jareee.


What if the man is Great-Khali or Big-Show?

I wan die.

It might not be instantaneous but somehow, anyhow, I'd retaliate the beating, even if it means plotting with my friends or hiring a gang. No way would I let such embarrassment goes unrequited.

Proud father. I love the trad attires on them. Happy Sunday.