₦airaland Forum

DinhoMVP:
Sweetheart I didn't see or read this part of the story guess it was in later pages not the initial story...Pls don't get it twisted I'm not a fan of men maltreating their wives but at the same time I believe we can and should always make conscious efforts to settle our marital conflicts within...yes we can seek wise counsel but try as much as possible not to literally drag others into ur marriage...I know some mothers can be overbearing at the same time I know misunderstanding is a common phenomenon amongst humans so we seek divine intervention at All Times!
Its Well My Dear

DinhoMVP:
What ego are u referring to here pls...from face value of the story this young man doesn't have issues with his wife but his wife's mum! So u mean if ur loving faithful and caring husband has issues with ur mum u will pack up and leave the house to join ur mum when ur hubby has done nothing wrong to YOU! My dear think again please

rokiatu:
Guam!!!!

You know he has beaten her twice, there's a lot of things that this man does that I didn't even say. She's terribly unhappy. He even took his gf over to his house, and lied that was his fried gf. They all had dinner, they wife later found out she was infact his gf. I am just laughing at the people saying I am painting him as a devil lol There's been case upon case, issues upon issues but this main issue at head hence the reason I didn't go into the others.

DinhoMVP:
The last I checked it was NEVER reported that the man abused his wife physically...he simply has a misunderstanding with her mother and next thing she parks up and joins her mum...make she stay na!

rokiatu:
Guam!!!!

You know he has beaten her twice, there's a lot of things that this man does that I didn't even say. She's terribly unhappy. He even took his gf over to his house, and lied that was his fried gf. They all had dinner, they wife later found out she was infact his gf. I am just laughing at the people saying I am painting him as a devil lol There's been case upon case, issues upon issues but this main issue at head hence the reason I didn't go into the others.

Lightening:
Please madam stop going about ranting about an issue you do not have any shred of experience about. The couple have since survived the misunderstanding and moved on. But you are busy swallowing pills on their behalf. There are many mistakes wives make in marriage that are weightier than their husband's spank, yet they appologise never get a divorce. Ask your mother and go back to your studies.
Mcheeeeeeeeeeew

franksam2009:
. if my mother in-law did this to me, I will hate her forever, I will take her as an enemy of process

Ochek:
When was the last time he did beat her? Mind you, the thread by the OP only gave us a Lil background about them however, the domestic violence was not related to the "why" she is away @mama's house.

coderXO:
Obviously there is abuse in the story so it is a bit different, and it's tricky.

And they are overseas is another matter.

No woman/man should tolerate maltreatment.

Cheating is the least tolerable.

Abuse is once, and never EVER again.

Frankly he sounds like a deadbeat but she obviously loves her husband.

She should go home with stipulations of what she expects of him.

Should anything go wrong one more time, she better leave him for good.


The mother-in-law relationship needn't be perfect but the man in question if he has an of inkling of sense in his head will repair it gradually and make peace.

Life is simple folks, don't make things hard for yourselves.

We make mistakes, we take correction, say sorry and move on.

Simples.

Peace.

Hotstew:
from the story, the mq
an didnt send his wife packing. She moved out on her own or according to her mothers instuction.

Ochek:
Hallo dear, you probably have got the whole gist wrong. The domestic violence goes way way far behind than this situation at hand. The current circumstance has nothing to do with assault of any kind (presently). The mega issue to be x-rayed is the togetherness of man and wife.
Mind you, no relationship comes 100% flawless. We grow in it and work out the differences. That ma dear makes our relationship a better one. Go ask couples who have stayed over 25years in marriage and I am sure you would learn more. the case of domestic violence mentioned was only a thing of the past and seems the couple in question must have grown past it by now.
My advice still stands. WOMAN! GO BACK TO THY HUSBAND. He still loves you as much as you do him.

allcomage:
This your abuse is becoming irritating. Have we heard from the guy?from op report,we don't know if it was that once he hit her or has he been beating her? She came home very late may be against repeated warnings. Some facts are missing. He hit her and the mil called police and social welfare etc. The woman was hasty in that decision. If I were the mother ,I would not have done that,nothing to show her life was endangered.marriage is a serious business. Some times giving issues time helps to solve problems especially in marriage and relationship. Okay now,the overwhelming majority feel the lady acted wrongly by going with the kids,and from all indications she still loves him but dancing to her mother tunes.She should be matured and go back before it is late. Married women shouldn't tell their people every minor issue especially when there is frosty relationship between inlaws. Even that dinner they wanted him so much to be part of is not the right place for reconciliation. I am against abuse in all ramifications but one or two slip ups can be pardoned.

AgapeCharis:
I did read the story. Sure she didn't take the right step in packing to her mother's house. The man's ego is very very annoying. No one is trying to blackmail him. The man does not even see anything wrong with beating the wife up to the extent of injuring his own baby. What a massacre it must have been. Do you even know the amount of beating that might be waiting for her once she's back? And to top it all, no respect for his mother inlaw and the family. That's not so nice.

She should go back to the husband though and pray for God to touch the man's heart cos no reconciliation move from anyone will make him change his mind. But if after she's back he keeps beating her up at the slightest unreasonable opportunity then she should leave the beast and _fucking ingrate and move on with her life. I read where someone said he's a full grown man and can take any decision he likes. Nonsense!! He's grown right? Why couldn't he hustle for himself and move over there?? What insolence!!

linusbnn:
Bro remb the man is not a slave because he was brought in tru d wife nd mother in law,he owns dem respct nd appreciatn...We do not know wat has caused dis hatred btw dem both,but d wife is suppose to be neutral in d game until she is able to deduce wat happened...I rembed wen I traveled to SA,whr I was staying den,d guy wants me to worship nd adore him evry minute,nd some pple can kill u without talking,but tru atitude...Maybe somtin happened dat both parties knows abt but do not want to say it out because of fear of d unknwn..Plz wife shud go bck nd try to knw wat happened while living 2geda wit her man

dinachi:
Now you are talking!
You are a well behaved woman, even online. I respect that.

Bitojoe:
i dont think he's violent.is she her mother that she married or the man? I just wonder why most women had divorce spirit in them.

SmooshCHN:
That's what I was trying to say. The bolded is what the Mother in law ought to know. @Rose2014

dinachi:
I hate seeing people battered not just women. You will also have sons too and karma is also a bitch and never fails to act. Pls don't beat and emotionally hurt your husband cos he may silently kill you one day. Nobody has a monopoly of violence.
I have questions for rokiatu, how come the husband only started beating her only after their marriage, when he never raised his hands on her all the while they were high school sweethearts.
Besides the her mother is supposed to be a mother to them both. So if her son offends her, that is how she will behave? And you rokiatu how come she is revealing all her marital secrets to you? Are you her lesbian partner? And how many other people has she told? She seems the type that prefers to handle her marital issues with her people, friends and outsiders. She is just an overgrown kid.

segzicres:
the op and her friend are stupid. Did the man leave after getting his papers? did he bring another woman into the house after getting his papers?
its the ops friend that left and people still think the man is wrong? a grown human has the right to dislike who ever he/she wants to. We nigerians love deceit, y'all want him to go and pretend. when a problem should be solved.
he'll get there and be annoyed by the mothers every words and body movement.
your friend need cane for her brain. fish brained thing. Mscheew

onoja12:
of course when you have no respect for strangers how would you have respect for your husband.am sorry for that unfortunate man,that is if there is one

IYANGBALI:
hey shut your fokn trap. There is what they call courtship,its meant for you to know your partner before signing the dotted lines,not just having good time together and fokn your life away and getting carried away by the size of his deek,his performance in bed,his bank account and beauty. If after courting a man/woman and you decided to still go ahead and marry him,you should be able to tolerate whatever you find there. There is no perfect ma/woman or marriage anywhere,marriage is full of ups and down,the watchword is tolerance,if you are not ready to tolerate don't even think of going inside.

onoja12:
most of them are usually the first to lunch other forms of abuses,so i advice you go and study about abuses

Bitojoe:
Its better she return back to her husband house, before the worst thing started happening.

dinachi:
This is what I call a real man. He should not back down at all. They (she and her mother) wants to turn the man to their toy. His refusal to be reduced to a joke is the reason they are behaving like kids. I am sorry to say but I think the lady and her mother are highly IMMATURE. For instance, if the man runs to his own mother any time there are issues, who will now stay at home.
The man have simply refused to be disrespected and @rokiatu, try and hear the whole side of the story before you jump to conclusions. Tell that immature friend of yours to go back to her home and build her OWN family. Her mother should leave her alone and focus on her old husband.

Billyonaire:
We live in a society where a man is king, and women are told they were created for man's happiness. That is wrong and must stop. The woman's happiness is not being considered here. A mother raised this woman and a man finds her attractive and married her. Then you beat that your wife, someone's daughter up. And you expect the mother not to react ? Says who ? This man needs to be told that he owes the mother-in-law apologies. He must go and assure the mother in law that he will NOT beat the wife again. That's the right thing for any sane man to do. In the event that he is even abandoning the wife and kids speaks louder of his heartlessness and loveless-ness for his wife and kid. The man needs to see a therapy because there is a larger personality dysfunction that might surface later.

IYANGBALI:
abused?who abused her?do you know what it means to be abused? You only heard her own side of the story,wait for the man's own. Marriage is for better for worse,full of ups and downs,its not for babies. If you are not ready to face the heat in marriage stay in your father's house.

onoja12:
there is no way around the fact,she mentioned her mother,her brother but not her father,there is no way there would be a father and this would happen,except the mother has chased the father away and assume the role of man,now she is trying to do same,from what i read the mother has thought her daughter to pocket her husband and the husband has refused to be pocketed rather he is bent on asserting his authority and the mother sees this as rebellion,so she is using her daughter to fight back and the stupid daughter is allowing herself to be used

onoja12:
domestic abuse my foot,am equally sure you didn't read the part where she is spending late night by her mother.If her mother is lonely let her go find a boyfriend and leave there marriage alone

As for my daughter i would raise her right,and would teach her to respect her husband just as her mother respects me,only women from broken home like to brake there children s home,if i check the mother must have broken her own home.and that is why my people say don't marry a girl from a broken home because her mother would brake yours too

IYANGBALI:
Rokiatu I for no put mouth for this your mata because I know say na you the thing happen to. If no be say today na saturday,I for talk say dat your friend no get brain,na wetin her husband do am?nothing,she come pack comot because of small issue like dat. Come make I tell you something if na me be dat man I no go look for her nor beg her to come back home and by the time she decides to come back home,na dat time I go start my own madness and tell her to go back to where she is coming from,at the end of the day,na her,her mama and you rokiatu together with some other family members and friends go come dey beg me for her to come back home,afterall na she pack comot. Some naija babes no get brain walahi,look around you and see how babes that are old enough to be married are floating here and there,keeping vigil and fasting,one yeye girl come dey pack comot for her matrmonial home because of thing wey no get head,even that her mama self,na small brain she get,for say her brain full and correct well well,she for no gree the girl to pack comot for her husband house. If your friend like make she nogo make peace with her husband,I see you rokiatu or one of una friends taking over her matrimonial home if she does not go back home soonest. Infact give me the man's fone no and address of his house,I get people dat want to pack in now now now.

400billionman:
The man is wrong.

But the girl can decide to marry her mother if she is okay with that..

manmustwac:
One thing that i know as fact is that when they come here there is always the possibility that they will change for the worse. A few weeks ago i read a story here about how an african american woman married and helped her nigerian husband to get his papers only for him to go to back home to marry his girlfriend.

Rokiatu

You didn't tell us why your friends husband hates his mother inlaw? Dose he have perfectly good reason for hating her or is it some lame excuse?

eagle13:
personally I think there are issues we r yet to b told dat lead to d hatred between d man n her mom in law.but as an African dat believe in using native intelligence in crisis resolution, I think d mom inlaw should try to settle d issue at home first den if d option proved abortive den she can call d police.
finally,I think d wife should consult a close friend of d husband or a close member of d guys family to discuss d real cause of d hatred so dat d problems can b identified,discussed n solved.

onoja12:
is he married to your mother?

are you married to him or your mother?if you know what is good for you,you better run back to your house and beg your husband before it is too late.your mother has run her own marriage and your husband wasn't a factor,i wonder what is fooling you into thinking that your mother should be a factor in his own house.i repeat run home and beg before another woman moves in,don't say i didn't warn you oh.

lastly i ask if your husband places his own mother first before you and your kids,how would you feel?

MadCow1:
I didn't see anything about domestic abuse in the main article.. Feel free to point me towards that part.

I handle issues of domestic abuse differently. But the main article only spoke about a rift between mother in law and son in law, and that's wat I responded to.

Thanks for sharing.

rokiatu:
nothing! The only story I know is that he beat her once and the mother in law was so angry, she took it upon herself to call the police, call child protection because his little baby who was just 7 months got injury in the process. But he didn't like her before then, because he beat her that day cuz she went to visit her mom and came back late.

And he didn't have his papers yet so after that incident the mother advice her to send him back African. She didn't thou. I bet she must have told him after that.