₦airaland Forum

MadCow1:
She is obviously a child that shouldn't have been married in the first place..

In the grand scheme, her immediately family comes second to her husband. The way to broker peace between her mother and her husband is not for her to pack his kids and her things and go to her mothers house. If she were my wife, I would simply send my boys to go retrieve my kids. She can stay with her mother till eternity she she so pleases.

She needs to get her priorities straight. She seems to still be overly attached to her family at the expense of her immediate family (Her husband and kids).

I bet u didn't read the domestic abuse part abi?
Anyway I hope if ur daughters are abused by their husband, this is what u'll advise the man to do

DinhoMVP:
There is no dilemma here! U are married to ur husband not ur mother whatever issue it is between ur husband and ur mother pray that they find a way to make peace...leaving ur husband's house to move in with ur mom is not acceptable let alone moving with his kids! If ur mama wise she sef go tell u to go back to ur husband! If it were me as the man I will never come for u o mark my words NEVER! Come to think of it marriage should not include 3rd Parties...as long as the man is living up to his husbandly duties at home my dear u are not in order to dump him for ur Mom!

Really? I hope u'll say the same thing if ur daughter is being physically abused by her husband

nwaanambra1:
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

I WONDER HOW OLD THAT YOUR FRIEND IS? DOES SHE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE?

HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS FIRST ABOVE OTHERS! HER FAMILY = HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HERSELF! ANY OTHER PERSON OUTSIDE THIS CIRCLE IS SIMPLY AN OUTSIDER!

SHE SHOULD LEARN TO HONOR AND RESPECT HER HUSBAND EVEN IF SHE IS THE ONE THAT PAID HIS FLIGHT TICKET TO MARS!

Even if he kills her
E be like say RIP dey sweet una to type for this nairaland. Smh

Billyonaire:
The man beats the wife, the mother-in-law called the cops and child protection and the man hates the mother-in-law, and the wife and the kids are at the center of a mor0n and the mom.

That man is immature and unstable. The mother did the right thing. The wife holds the key. Love has to be pushed aside. If your man is not coming for you then where is his own love for you ? That's a loveless marriage. If a man does not love the wife and kids enough to visit the mom in law to settle his nonsense, I can only advise that the marriage be ended and someone has to pay for child support, you can even report to police to strip him of his papers, he simply married her for the papers and is probably planning his steps.

Gbam

Ashonibarenla:
Send his sorry ass back to Africa? SMh! Aren't you frm that same Africa. I keep wondering, what if Marthin Luther didnt fight for the right you are enjoying now? And what makes you so sure his life would fare worse if he comes back to Africa??

I guess U rushed to comment without reading the next few posts where op mentioned her husband beat her abi? Ok na

Donsolo101:
woman pack your things n go back to your husband less you are ready to marry your mum .

let your mum reconcile with her son Inlaw herself , your kids will suffer the most if u remain there .

your marriage comes first b4 anything your mum want to destroy ur happy home .

Where did u read about happy home biko?
Or u're waiting for her to get killed so u can come n type RIP abi?

SmooshCHN:
I got your point all along. I respect your opinion. I no go make you dey use style bash me because I no totally accept your point. Final advise. Help build a marriage first before helping in breaking it.

Sorry I don't mean to bash u sweetheart
I just don't like the fact u don't seem to see anything wrong with domestic abuse.
Everything is wrong with domestic violence. Let the man go out there n wrestle a fellow man. Or will he claim that other men don't drive him crazy out there. Even his female bosses do drive him crazy but he'll rather show his power on d mother of his kids. I find it disgusting to say the least

My kids can tell me any other marital issue they have and I'll encourage them to return home but I show no pity when it comes to violence. I suffered a lot to birth them

I can't afford to lose my child in an abusive home. God forbid!. Maybe cos I didn't have it easy like the Hebrew women
No vex

tobechi74:
Fathers nko

Some fathers rock too
To all the great daddies out there, we love u too

Omg this is too awesome. Love my momma to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond

Mods pls move to frontpage

Mothers rock

SmooshCHN:
You're not God to predict someone's marriage. Pray for them and show love. Help make the marriage better. If you have no positive help towards marriage don't bring negative help.
The Mother in law shouldn't be the dictator of the marriage. She ought to be a role model to their marriage. From the moment she discovered abuse asking the daughter to send her son in law back to Africa made her loose her respect. She should help her daughter's marriage with "ALL HER MIGHT" and not weakly ask her daughter to abandon her marriage.
Then if she decides to end her daughters marriage She would live with Guilt. As my mom never witnessed physical abuse from my Dad many times my mother said "I'm packing" a week after their back happy and it's like nothing happened. That's what God's does in marriage.. When I failed an exam, my Mum didn't ask me to abandon it, she Prayed with me and showed support throughout and God decided I write another different exam. Humans should help and not takes God's job to decide.

Divorce is the least and Last option not the First and Foremost option to solve marital issues.

I'll encourage my daughter(s) to stay in their marriages as long as domestic violence is not involved.
Good thing u said ur dad never beat ur mom, yet she felt like leaving at some points. Now imagine u putting the blame on an abused woman cos she's with mommy for safety. Ur next blame is on the mother for welcoming her child. Are you for real?

My question to u is this:
Will u allow ur daughter(s) to stay with a man that physically abuses them just because they're married and should never come to ur house again?
Even if u will sha, me I won't agree
Mothers understand the pain of childbirth so much to allow any child die in another man's hand all in d name of marriage. Haba!! Now I see why more people (men n women)are getting killed in their marriages cos of what people like u would say.

Divorce is the last option but no one should place their life at risk. Protecting what?
That's suicide in disguise na.
Except u think suicide is better than divorce, I won't be surprised

SmooshCHN:
If you were married you'll know running away from problems don't get them solved. A successful marriage should be more important than anyone's satisfaction. You didn't read the part where I advised her to meet with her husband and pray, and apply wisdom. You went straight ahead to start predicting circumstances that you shouldn't wish a growing couple. If you prefer your daughter's marriage broken because you have a problem with her husband, that's very immature and then you'd definitely not make a good mother in law.

You think rendering your grandchildren fatherless is the best choice instead of you to take her husband as your son and settle issues with him and make give your daughter the happiest thing a mother can give her daughter. Na to separate her home be the best thing. Too bad

I don't know about u but heaven knows I'll rather have my daughter spend her life with me than to die miserably in the hands of an abuser who will still end up marrying another wife once he succeeds in killing her.
As per the grandchildren, thanks for your concern but they're better off fatherless than motherless in a case like this cos let me predict the end for u if the abuse does not stop: either of these 2things will happen
D woman dies and child protective services take over the kids and they become orphans

Or
D woman dies and the man marries another woman who will be maltreating the kids and their father will do absolutely nothing to protect them because of the obvious hatred he had for their mom

I'm never a fan of seperation in marriage but u see domestic violence: It gets my attention any day

Ochek:
All those answers above are so on point.
You have got to remember, that once a man and woman are married, they leave their parents are stick together - for better or worse. Right?
She has not got any case of infidelity or him not caring for his primary home (wife and kids). Yeah? Trust me, if your gal friend don't move in back with him ASAP, she should be ready to accept the bigger shocker.
I have seen this sh**t alot of times happen.
Like it or not, she owes him a 100% obligation to submissivenss. His is to love and so far, save the current issue with his mother in law you haven't furnished us with info otherwise.
So, Roki! If really care about your friend, take we all are saying. Ask her to return to her matrimonial home without delay.

So because another lady might move in, she should stay in an abusive marriage and get killed so u can happily type RIP ba? Ife emee!

Am sure u didn't read about the domestic abuse.smh
By their advise, u shall surely fish them out one by one

SmooshCHN:
You see, some women compound problems for themselves. They allow their family and friend take control of their marital life. As OP refused to feed us the whole story or true story I'd like to say this. First she knows her Hubby doesn't like her Mum, then instead of trying to be closer with the Husband and help soften the situation with her Mum she acted weakly and simply picked Sides. So has taking away her children and packing out of the house solved the issue? No! Instead it has worsened. He surely won't go to the Mums house, and when she returns to her Hubby with their kids, she should be ready to explain why she left to pick sides. A married woman should be strong and not weak. Solve issues and not run away when there's an issue or run to the family. He is your husband. She should Find the root of the problem, go through it with your husband, hear from your Mum, Pray about it and apply wisdom.

So now when the Husband subs her would she spend the rest of her life with her mother?
And what kind of mother in law feels comfortable with her daughter with two children packing out of her husband's house because she's not cool with him?
Some mother in law causing problems since 1807.

Did u just type this. So the blame is on the abused woman and her mother D mother should watch her daughter get killed abi? So u can come n read the tragic ending and type RIP

You go fear advice na

I blame the lady for not reading the handwriting on the wall. She should've followed her mom's advise n send his sorry ass back to Africa. She's bn pitying him all along yet he even has the mind to raise his hand on her. Imagine the guts!!

Rich4god:
LENTEN PACKAGE FOR WEEKEND: Hosea 15:15-6:1-6, Lk. 18:9-14. Jesus in today's Gospel presents two contrasting personalities: one faithfully obeying the law to the smallest detail and the other considering himself to be a sinner because he served the interest of the Roman exploiters. What is striking, however, is the difference between their manner of praying. The Pharisee hardly prays at all. By boasting about his "righteousness", he simply pleases himself and not God. He is, in effect, denying that he needs God. He also exalts himself at the expense of others. The parable immediately makes clear that he entered the Temple without humility and love. He is the centre of his own thoughts and self-appraisal. Everything he did - the fasting, the paying of tithes - was good. But all the goodness of these works was, however undone by his pride: he attributed merit to himself and he had contempt for others. Both humility and charity were lacking, and without these there can be neither good works nor any virtue. In contrast, the tax collector humbly acknowledges his sinfulness and sincerely begs God's forgiveness. This is the essence of true prayer - a simple acknowledgement of one's sinfulness and nothingness before God manifesting one's need for God. This is the point of the prophet Hosea in the first reading. He enjoins us to return to the Lord. "Though He has torn us to pieces, He will heal us." So, let us turn to the throne of grace with humility of heart seeking for mercy. May the Lord grant us His mercy and show us His steadfast love! Amen!! Good morning and happy weekend!!!

Amen. Good morning

KanwuliaJara:
Even as "Christ" never had a wife!
What hypocrisy!
MUGU-MUMU Religion for DUMMIES!

Is that all u could make out from the write up?

Anyway let me advise u sweetheart:
Learn to read n waka pass if u don't have anything to say
Also note that There's no penalty for not commenting on a thread

Jennifer89:
These are the steps in getting ride of belly fat.

Belly fat is an excessive fat in the abdomen and
around the stomach. It looks odd when you wear
tight clothes and causes embarrassment. In fact,
it’s difficult to lose flab from the belly region.
Many people try to lose belly fat by eating less or
famishing themselves, which is not at all a good
idea and may result in several harmful side-
effects. The healthy way to trim down your
tummy is to use natural home remedies.

Causes of Belly Fat


Junk food

Consumption of carbohydrates in large amount


Consumption of more calories

Intake of heavy food and then, go to bed

Genetics

Lack of physical activity in daily routine

Sedentary lifestyle

Home Remedies to Lose Belly Fat
People often choose wrong ways to cut down the
fat from the belly area. Home remedies can do
wonder to the body if given a chance. Of course,
you need some patience to feel the difference, but
it is totally worth it. Check and try these home
remedies out.

1. Honey
Take a medium glass and fill it with hot water.
Add the juice of 1 lemon and 1 tablespoon of
honey to it. Drink this after waking up in the
morning as a first thing. Practice this remedy on
a regular basis and you will certainly notice the
difference.

2. Hot Water
Drink around 1 litre hot water on an unfilled
stomach. This will cleanse the body thoroughly.

3. Tomatoes
Eating raw tomatoes also helps in reducing the
belly fat.

4. Ginger
Steep water and add ginger to it. Then, add
honey and pepper. Simmer it for 5 minutes.
Honey helps in dissolving the fat while ginger and
pepper will increase the metabolic rate.

5. Mint
Add 1 tablespoon honey, a pinch of pepper, and
some crushed mint leaves to a cup of hot water.
Let it to steep for 5 minutes. Strain and drink the
liquid to get a flat tummy. Mint soothes the
abdomen while honey and pepper dissolves the
fat and boosts the metabolism.

6. Apple Cider Vinegar
Consume apple cider vinegar with your food. It
will make your stomach fuller, thereby curbing
your appetite. This remedy not only helps in
reducing the chubbiness of your tummy, but also
in regulating the blood sugar level.

7. Curry Leaves
Curry leaves help in detoxification of the body,
which automatically leads to less accumulation of
fat on the tummy.

8. Cardamom
Cardamom works as a great metabolism booster
and an amazing detoxifying agent. Cardamom is
also used for losing weight.

10. Cinnamon
Cinnamon works as a great fat burner. Take ½
tablespoon of cinnamon powder and steep it in
water for 5 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of honey
after straining the cinnamon water. Drink this
before breakfast and before going to bed.

11. Lemon
Drinking lemon juice on the daily basis will
definitely reduce the belly fat soon. Add lemon
juice in a glass of water. Also add a pinch of salt.
Stir it well. Drink this every morning.

12. Garlic
In order to reduce belly fat, chew 3-4 cloves of
raw garlic in the morning and drink the lemon
water after consuming garlic. This is the best
home remedy to reduce belly fat fast.

13. Almonds
Almond is a rich source of vitamin E.
Consumption of almonds makes you full for a long
time, which means you eat less.

14. Watermelon
Watermelon contains 82% water, which helps your
stomach not to crave for food. Watermelon is rich
in vitamin C, which is beneficial for health.

15. Beans
Consumption of beans regularly helps in reducing
the belly fat. Beans are rich in fibers, which make
your stomach full, and you will consume fewer
calories. The fewer calories you will consume, the
less would be the chances of getting fat.

16. Cucumber
Cucumber contains 96% water and 45 calories.
Add cucumber in your diet as a salad or eat raw
cucumber to get a flat tummy fast.

17. Avocado
Avocado is a very useful fruit for burning the
excess fat. Avocado is a rich source of fiber. It
keeps the hunger at bay. The monounsaturated
fatty acids in avocado help to reduce the belly fat.

18. Oats
Have oats in breakfast. Usually, oats are filling,
which means less hunger and less consumption of
calories.

19. Apple
Eating apple regularly can help in fighting many
diseases and it can also help in reducing the fat
from your belly. Apple helps your stomach to feel
full because it contains potassium and many
vitamins. So, eat an apple in breakfast to get the
desired tummy size.

20. Juice of Cranberry
Drinking juice of cranberry can help in burning fat
because it’s rich in organic acid, which works as
a digestive enzyme. Drink unsweetened cranberry
juice daily for good results.

21. Fish Oil
Fish oil is a very good option for burning the
tummy fat. Fish oil targets on the tummy and
burn down the excess fat.

22. Peanut Butter
Peanut butter suppresses your appetite and
boosts the metabolism. Peanut butter has niacin
that avoids your tummy from bloating.

23. Eggs
Egg is loaded with plenty of vitamins and
contains calcium, zinc, iron, phosphorus,
omega-3, etc. All these helps in burning the belly
fat. So, grab an omelette in the morning for a flat
belly.

24. Green Tea
Green tea works as a detoxifier, which helps in
burning the excess body fat. Consuming green tea
daily can make your skin glow , as well as, make
your tummy flat.

25. Berries
Strawberries, blackberries and raspberries contain
plenty of fibers and are loaded with vitamins,
which help to fight the cravings for food and
sugary substances. This will slim down your
belly.

26. Yogurt
Though, yogurt can help in gaining more weight,
but plain and Greek yogurt can help in cut down
the excess fat from the belly. Eat only Greek and
plain yogurt to reduce the fat.

27. Bottle Gourd Juice
Juice of bottle gourd is very healthy. Drink a
glass of bottle gourd juice for a flat and attractive
tummy.

28. Parsley Juice
Parsley juice works as a detoxifier, which is filling
as well as burns the calories. Parsley is an
excellent herb for kidney and a great fat burner.

29. Dandelion Tea
Dandelion tea helps the body to shed excess fat
in a healthy way.

30. Cayenne Pepper
Cayenne pepper and ginger can help in clearing
the lungs and flush out the fat from the body.
Take cayenne pepper and ginger. Crush them
together and have the mixture daily.

31. Bananas
Like apples, bananas are also rich in potassium
and contain multivitamins. They are filling and
help you to resist the cravings for fast food.
Moreover, banana boosts the metabolic rate,
thereby melting the belly fat.

32. Celery
Celery also helps in reducing the fat from the
belly and it contains only 8 calories. Drink celery
juice or eat raw celery as a salad.

33. Water
Drinking plenty of water also helps in reducing
weight. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
This will not only flush the fat, but also make
your skin shiny and glowy. Your hair will become
healthy, and the whole body will become radiant.

How to Prevent Accumulation of Fat around the
Belly?

Avoid eating white rice and sugary
supplements.

Avoid consuming red meat and junk foods.
Walk at least 1 kilometre on a daily basis.

Eat green vegetables and fruits.

Lower down the sodium intake.

Skipping rope can be a very good exercise
to keep belly in shape.

Avoid taking stress.

Do cardio exercises.

www.livefitandhealthylife.com/2014/08/home-remedies-to-get-flat-tummy.html?m=0

Quoted for future reference
Op thanks a lot

Joel3:
What you are saying is bullcrap

Joel3:
you. are a fool

Op so upon all my advice to u, u're still exchanging words with anyone that doesn't agree with you abi?
Ok na. Continue

Joel3:
I use bomb shall and missiles word to finish her.

My son let me give you a motherly advise

First of all,sweetheart, not ALL men are wife beaters.

Secondly I want u to get busy out there making money or at least planning how to provide for your family. If u do so, u won't have time to be doing the bolded .

Thirdly sweetheart, When u engage in mouth battle with a woman, I promise u that u can never win. But if u chose to, biko biko Dont go beating her and claim u were driven to ur limit.

Fourthly my son, do not beat your woman cos she may silently hurt you sooner or later. Remember, nobody has the monopoly of violence.

Now go out there and follow peace with all men(plus women)

My encourager any day anytime

Rom 8:28 All things work together for good, to them that love God and to those who are called according to his purpose

rokiatu:
Sexual arousal has to do with one state of mind.

A man's mouth and a baby mouth are two different things. The breast is food for the baby and a sexual toy for our men. We get turn on by our men not babies. Infact what sort of gosh topic is this?

I was just coming back to ask what kind of Sick topic is this?

estheremma:
Breastfeeding does not arouse,dnt listen to dis people who claim to have kids,i have kids n'i hav asked several mothers,if it arouses u then some thing is not right

I agree.
I've never and can never experienced such. That's sickening for me to even think about
How can breast feeding arouse a woman? Mtchew

Owliver:
its better the woman don't try to find out if am making mouth or not. Prevention is better than cure you know... So let's leave it at "understanding" I like that

Ok dearie. Points well taken. I've tried ur patience enough today.lol
It's bed time for me. Take care of u

My last advice to op before I call it a day is this:

*Oya op bring your ear close*

Next time learn to use protection or better still zip up so u don't bring another innocent child here until you're ready financially and emotionally to handle a family.
If u'll be honest here, financial matters must have played a huge part in all these

Oh and also Beating ur woman can never be justified cos u can't tell me u were innocent the whole time n never did anything to her (I believe that part of the story is for d gods)

Lastly, find something that keeps u busy, and I mean very busy

I would've said the same to ur woman if I happen to hear her side of the story. I just know that what u gave us here didn't quite add up for me

Owliver:
hahahaha rose leave me alone naaaa* you don't know me et all so don't assume what I can do and otherwise... See as I dey look ur backside as you dey run

U know I'm saying the truth na
All you need is a woman that will understand that u're very sweet but that you're just here making mouth to make her take correction

Ngokafor:
...indeed it was not your 'dream' to have a child outside wedlock..so whose was it? ..your girlfriends?..nonsense!

...well i would advise you to carry your badge of (dis)honour as a woman batterer and quit giving lame excuses cos we can see right through your kind and care less about how you choose to live your life..

..you are sorry yet you are justifying your actions ...were is the remorse in your sob story for crying out loud?...

..Too many badly behaved males all over the place..so tragic

Me sef I'm asking myself the same question
Op is not telling us the full story rather he's giving us story that is meant for the gods

My joy is that Some people are smart enough to read between the lines cos the story get many k legs

Kimoni:
The nos of guys who are in support of his actions on this thread is scary. I hope most of them don't mean it because I will really fear for the future of our single girls oo

Don't mind them, they don't mean it. It's just that they're supporting just for us women to learn not to be driving them crazy at will.
A lot of them are very sweet but they are here forming they can beat a woman

For example *Owliver*



*runs away from thread like ussain bolt*

Yareey:
We shouldn't be to hush tho, we dealing with wife beater after all

Op for don beat me by now o and say I deserve it too but thank godness my keyboard is my shield

Meelaw:
why do people bring there family matters to nairaland
times av change...is it d change u all clamouring 4 march 4 resumption..n idle man is a nairaland workshop

u're right
If the op n his woman put their time to good use(like making money to train d innocent child), all these beat me I beat you won't arise not to talk of having time to post the long story here

dinachi:
It is very obvious women who are used to abusing and beating their husbands are very uncomfortable with this story. It is not surprising. Like will defend like,always.
Anyways OP do not allow anybody to make you feel less of a man by your actions. You are a brilliant, gifted young man who deserves better! My elder brother always told me: better things no dey finish for market.
Keep your head high! Start dating again. Sometimes God removes the good so that you can have the best. The era of Nkem is so over. This is now the era of Ngozi, Uju, Chika, Ifeoma, Ada, Ifunanya, Bola, Bisi, Aisha, Zainab.
Good Search

So do u believe uju will not get physically abused by op when he thinks she 'deserves it'
Just tell him that hitting the mother of his child is wrong and he should be sorry if he wants to be, but not trying to justify it by painting himself as st Michael that he is not

Op the woman fit kill u next for sleep o(after what u tagged hot sex) that night.
don't say I didn't warn u

Yareey:
You do not regret hitting her if you really believe she deserved the beating. It just doesn't work that way

Tell him o
Those two words are parallel

Kimoni:
My dear, I still have a problem that deep within you, you think the beating and plummeting is justified and duly warranted. That thought alone is the reason why you beat her not just once but twice and the second time, the blows were deadlier like you said.

You need to have a re-orientation that there is no justification for spousal violence, this will guide you to do what is right in future situations.

Ask yourself if you were abused and provoked by a female boss, will you beat and plummet her? Or you will endure and exercise self control, even if you have to go and report her later.

Same with agberos and bus conductors, these guys provoke more than anything else but I don't see decent men remove their shirts and start to fight these guys in public, instead, they just shake their heads and walk away.

So why is it so easy for men to then beat their wives and still feel it is justified? I can't wrap my head around it. Someone you claim you love for that matter, she bore you a jewel, you even witnessed the pains she went thru to bore you this child, she stood by you when you were broke, she defied her parents and friends to have ur baby and be with you. And for a little misunderstanding and excess on her part, you instantly forget the past and rain deadly blows on her and till date, you still keep on saying she deserves it?
I will never understand that part truly.

Anyways, she is gone now but I tell you that she has rare qualities you won't find in every girl and many men will kill just to have her. Hopefully, she'll find someone who will not think it's justified to hit his woman.

I wish I could see you and give you my first nairaland hug.

May the oil of your wisdom never run dry. Amen

icedbeatz:
in which aspect, clarify pls.

From your post, family should be treated differently and your wife differently.
U don't see any problem with that?
Pls explain a little more