₦airaland Forum

@ yeye[/b]4life,
You're real yeye. From the way you sound, you don't strike me like someone who can even take care of yourself let alone your girl, if at all you can keep any. [b]Not all women beg!!!!!!!!!!!!.
If you're this disgruntled, why don't you tow the line of Chika Nwafor and let girls be, there are guys who respect and value women,you sure don't belong there, so keep  out of women's life for good.

For grouping all women together, I owe you no appology, learn how to use words.

@ Arkhin,
Because the God of women is different from that of men, abi?  
Anyway, the unfair treatment to women 'cos of adultery started from the bible ,however, nobody was clean enough to throw first stone.
@ poster
Biblically, it's justified.But the truth is, it's uncommon to divorce a man on the basis of unfaithfulness, the woman always bears the brunt. It's a man's world, they'll claim. So also is it difficult to call a man a prostitute, even  though it takes two to tangle.

But if you divorce on this ground, you'd better remain single 'cos the next person is likely to be worse, if you care so much, protect your spouse from wolves.

The woman ignored the reports/rumours outrightly, though one shouldn't believe everything one hears, but she should have done some underground works for verification, sometimes, there are some elements of truth in rumours.
Now the bubble has burst, her unrepentant husband being bold enough to make the announcement depicts lack of affection for her.
I'd advice that she accepts her fate, move on with her life, take solace in her children, but NEVER to leave her home for them. If the husband cares, he and his new wife should get another house but if not, she should make the house uninhabitable for her niece that she would prefer joining her parents. As for the husband, thank God she's working, let her live the life of a widow and treat him as a co-tenant. Time will tell.

What exactly does this drunk want to hear?, whose advice was it that he should commit an incest?.
Let him kill himself so that his daughter will gladly announce that her baby's father is dead and his wife will take care of the children.

Drunken state indeed!. why didn't he sleep with his dog/goat or the mad woman he passed on his way home?. Lame excuse from a drowned i.d.i.o.t.

@ simpleseyi, are you building or scattering?. What do you stand to gain if this union hits the rock?.
Please don't add salt to injury in the name of unconfirmed "truth". Thread softly when giving advice to hurting couple, if you're married, you should understand better.

I doubt if there's any legality in this issue, I feel it borders on morality and tradition.

It's a situation better imagined than experienced 'cos it could hurt badly. There's a saying that what an elder sees lying down, a child wouldn't see from a tall tree. Though, some of things "seen ' may be irrelevant to the case at hand, but parental blessing in marriage is invaluable.
The person in question should just take it cool, ask God for direction, engage the parents in a hearty conversation, handle the partner maturely( not disclosing the subject the way it is) and if need be, seek the help of mediators.
The parents may or may not have a point but s/he should thread softly.
I pray s/he smiles at last.

OP, please what's your definition of education here?.
I'll answer you assuming you mean formal education, I have seen it happen but the man had to be a man. Ordinarily, the woman wanted to show that she's more learned but my guy proved to him that a woman must be a woman come what may, to an extent that the woman carelessly bursted out one day that she regretted marrying an "illitrate". Meanwhile, her so-called illiterate ( a school cert. holder) corrects her grammar and writes better than her, he's the breadwinner and takes care of her extended family in his own capacity.
The only issue I saw there was that the man forbade her from living her "yuppy" lifestyle and also banned her from seeing most of her friends whom he felt were negative influences.

But seriously, I believe it's better for the woman to be more educated than the husband, than the other way round.
Reasons:
1. Most Nigerian female graduates equate to a smart male school cert. holder intellectually, if not even less.
2. If the man has all edges over you, girl, you're in a sorry situation.
3. Men can easily adjust faster than women in awkward situations.
4. The woman as the child's first teacher inculcates the knowledge better and simpler when she knows her onus.

I want to believe this woman keeps /obeys everything she reads from the bible.
Which of the bibles condemned trousers on women?. I thought it was - men not putting on women's clothing and vice versa, now, which man in the bible wore trousers?. In that case, if she wears gowns, she's equally committing sin 'cos all the bible representations showed men wearing gowns.

The bible is not interpreted like novels, I don't understand this "clothing" to mean skirt, blouse, trousers and so on. To me it means, women shouldn't take the place of men and vice versa, I may be wrong though, but understanding the bible requires more than mere ordinary knowledge of grammar.

So, the woman should think of better charges to press.

Can we for once stop tribalising serious issues like this and treat it as a general problem, it could happen anywhere. Come to think of it, MKO wasn't/isn't the only figure murdered in Nigeria but what do we hear at the end of the day -"panel of inquiry".
The fact here is since Mustapha has made this step, let him go ahead and call names as he has been challenged. I believe that will help us alot, even though the deed has been done, it could forestall future occurences and expose all the "bad leaders" we have.

It happens,but she should be careful about what she does at those times so as not to give herself away or give her hussy room to doubt or suspect her.
Moreso, she has to cling to God at such time for help and direction.

Helloooooooo, who's deceving who?.
Thank God you already said the girl is an area girl,definitely street-wiser than you all. Revelation my foot!. You,sorry, your friend ,irrespective of his so-called "status" deemed it wise to keep a bedmate of that" status". Having seen all the goodies round about your friend, you expect her to go empty-handed like Aaron?. (No way, girlie thumbs up).
Your 'status' friend was not just careless, but also stupid. He must face the music, more revelations are underway. Two things; he either comes down to her "status" or elevate her to his "status" so that there will be "status-equality". It's hightime such men got disciplined.

@ OP, I don't believe your wife actually did what she said, it may just be a way to get back at you over what you may have knowingly/unknowingly done to her.

Have you at any point compared her to anybody (mother,sister, friend etc) for any reason?. The fact that she's aware of your feelings and yet  gives no damn about it shows that she's enjoying herself while you're at one corner giving your BP a boost. That you're away most times may also be a reason for not knowing another(dramatic) part of her. If she didn't say the man was a renowned womanizer known to you, then, she wouldn't have achieved her aim,would she have said he's a pastor or a priest?. Think about it, if she also told you he's one pauper around the corner,you wouldn't have felt the pain. BELIEVE THIS,YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING.

My sincere advice to you: pretend not to have heard what she said or worse still, be making jest of her with it and you'll know the true position.
We (women) can go to any length to ease our pains irrespective of whose ox is gored. Please relax and take it ease,nobody's worth killing oneself for.