PetroDolla:

but you talk like a slave looking for a master. I'll make sure your new masters from niger treat you well,huh?

you see nigeria is not Ghana's mate. you've been our slaves since anyone can remember. we taught how to play football, highlife music, business-ever heard of Chief Biney- the shipping magnate of the 1960s and 1970s? you'll forever be our slaves. come to Accra and see how your lunatic criminally-minded youths are roaming the streets of Ghana doing menial jobs. I had one to cut my grass and laundry the other day. we've always been your bosses and I am sure you know that- see how we have reduced you to our perpetual wife in football and all other spheres? a country of 180 million morons! what a tragedy!

Abeg,who is this ghanaian old money,chief biney that made so much money in Nigeria in the olden days that petrodollar is hammering about? Someone pls tell him that we have young moneys in Nigeria now. Honest and hard working young nigerian men and women who own properties in ghana. Chief biney..smh!

I remember TB Joshua saying that an African president will die before the end of the year.. OMG!!
RIP my good man.

"Love lifted me" by Women Of Faith.

Chai!! See biff on UNILAG o. There must really be something about that school that causes so much pain to non-UNILAG students/grads.
The fact is that University of Lagos has always and will always produce some of Nigeria's finest graduates. That's not to say that other universities don't. You people are making it seem like the school breeds only dullards.. Jeez! No be aLl of us do NYSC? If you want to see half baked grads,go to some eastern schools or even western sef!
Akokites will be laughing so hard when they read these posts...And the hate goes on...

@Lastpage:
Are you a lawyer? If you are pls can I have your email address?

lastpage: Now to the story proper:
First, l wont blame the lady that much.
You can only know as much as the other party (your spouse) wants you to know (except you just struck luck and one "ameebo" whispered in your ears! )
But we all know how "abroad" is now? It is "mind your Business" to the core! Especially for a "just-come" like her!
Is it not the same abroad that some sleep with their husband's best friend and he does not have a clue about it while it is the talk of the town?
In most cases, you see "other" people's backside but it is others who will be seeing yours!

Again, if your wife or husband abandons you (as this story portrays), he/she has discharged you from your spousal responsibility..........As the[b] Bible instructs "Husbands/Wives not to neglect or deprive their spouse of their conjugal responsibilities"![/b].....Am l speaking the truth or not?
Simply put, you have violated the marriage oath.

Depending on how long the wife abandoned her home (story shows it is definitely over two years), she probably may have committed adultery with another man somewhere, just like the husband (body no be firewood as some would say) but the point l am making is that in all probability, that marriage died a long time ago!
So, why do women in particular, always comeback to fight over a "dead marriage" they have no intention of resuscitating at all?
Is it Wickedness or Vengeance or both?

Why did she not show-up in the last two years that he married this other woman? Which man has been "loving her" all the while?
Is a married man supposed to be without sex for over two years? Is that not one of the pillars of marriage, that each may enjoy the pleasure of one another? Does she want to turn the man into another pedophile, if he cant find himself another woman? Would she even have thought about 'showing face' if this man is ruined and turned onto one alcoholic living off the streets (I have seen men whose life got turned upside down like that, when their marriage crashed and their kids where taken away from them, so no arguments there!)

These are the issues we must look at, critically before passing "judgement" on the Pastor... (and l don like them one bit, if you want to know )...because the same 'high yardstick' we use in judging him will be used in judging us as well, in all areas of our life.

But then, This Pastor made one BIG ERROR: He should have gone the whole hog and divorced this woman, before taking on another wife!
Any sensible man should know by now that most women (your former wife) will do anything and everything to destroy you, if you ever have reason (genuine or counterfeit) to leave her for another woman, even if she is the one that left you! they expect you do die of misery and loneliness but if you choose to find happiness again, that makes them go crazy and become patently evil. That is just the bare truth.

That is why they say "hell has no fury like a woman scorned". It does not matter what you've done for her in the past, whether there are children involved or she is the one that wronged you. Women generally speaking (except for a very rare few) are very Vengeful and unforgiving!

Having said all the above,my suggestion for the @Op is this:

1,) take a deep breath, all hope is not lost. Love is wherever, with whoever you find it. Dont listen to all those "dooms-day sayers", they just want to destroy your happiness. They are all sadist, believe me!

2.) Tell your 'secretive' Pastor husband to "come clean completely" with you. You are his best friend for now, the most trusted person in his life. If you truly love him dearly and he has been half as good to you as you wrote above in your post, THIS IS THE TIME TO SHOW HIM WHAT TRUE LOVE MEANS. Stand by your man....and you will come to thank me in future. Nothing brings out the best in a man than this sort of trials. He will remember you forever. Dont join those who want to hit him on the head, when he is already down!

3.) Lay low and tell him to file for a divorce right away, just to be on the safe side. Depending on where they got married, (if it is in Nigeria, all the better) he should go there to seek his divorce, quick-quick. Once he gets that marriage legally dissolved, the noise would eventually die down with time. BTW: Was she coming out of the wood-works now, to be with him as his wife or what exactly (if not just trouble) does she want?

4.) Dont let that his winch former-wife lay her hands on your marriage Cert o, she will use it to destroy your man asap! In fact, burn it, it is of no legal importance and can cause your man serious heartache, if you get my drift? (Though we are just assuming they had a legal marriage but if that is not the case, you're home and dry with your own Certificate (one of the reasons guys are beginning to get wary of these women who insist on "legal marriage" 'cos "if and when shyte hits the fan, the same woman who was begging you for a legal marriage would use it as a weapon against you!......and it can be very nasty, especially "abroad"!)

5.) Have nothing to do with the other woman, no arguments, no shouting match, in fact, you have nothing to say to her! Its between your man and her former husband (I used "former' 'cos as far as l am concerned, any man/woman that neglects his/her spouse and bails-out of the marriage for over one year, has "dissolved that marriage" De Facto! )

6.) Be strong, you will face a lot of temptation in the coming weeks and months, evil men and women would try to "burden you with the yoke they themselves would not carry in form of destructive advices (remember what Jesus said about the Pharisees and Sadducees?). Just bone-face and leave the "leg-work" for your husband to do.

7.)Finally, impress it on him that he MUST contribute to the upkeep of his children from that former union. In as much as he cannot guarantee what the woman will do with the money, for his own conscience's sake, he MUST pay money by account transfer (never direct cash hand-over! or pay it to the courts if she refuse to provide her account details), for the upkeep of the children. He should also try, as much as the woman will allow and l know what women will do in this scenario, try to play his fatherly role in the children's life! They played no part in all the shyte that is happening and the effect on them has to be minimized as much as possible.

I wish you strength, wisdom and courage.

Lastpage!

OMG! You couldn't have said it better. If I were the poster,I'll ignore all the goodie two shoes in the house and follow your advice.
A woman walks away from her matrimony probably into another man's arms and you expect the husband to live in misery for the rest of his life?
He's human and every human being has the right to find happiness and to be happy.
@ OP,follow this advice to the letter. Be your man's best friend in this trying time. Advice him to come clean and legally divorce the run away wife. Hold on to him. If you say you love him then please look beyond his past and PLEASE do no involve a private investigator.
Ah ah,what rubbish!! Nigerians and hypocrisy sha!

onatisi:
in what area?woyome saga?

The sad truth is that even the Ghanaians themselves know there is no basis for comparism. They know that when it comes to business accumen and entrepreneurship,Nigerian carries the day. A ghanaian friend told me that all we read on the internet and in the news is all make belive. The level of corruption is very high and unemployment is the order of the day. Even if you graduate with a first class,the possibility of getting a good job is minimal.
When I told him I just registered my bizness he was shocked cos he knew I had a paid job. He wondered why I would leave the security of a paid job for the uncertainties of a bizness.
We Nigerians are an an enigma which they can never decode. Ask an average Ghanaian about Nigeria. and hear his view

If Ghana was doing so well,how come they ended up as one of the world least managed econimies,only to be compared with the likes of War ravaged Liberia and crises stiken Ivory coast? I have been to Ghana several times and all I see on their faces is envy for Nigerians.
Its no longer news that Ghanaians don't like Nigerians and anything that has to do with Nigeria.
I also don't think their schools are better than Nigerian schOols and I know for sure that there's as much unemplyment as there is is in Nigeria.
For drug peddling,love peddlers and all that,just go to Osu,oxford street..you go see tire.

@OP: galfriend I really respect you for coming to Nairaland with such serious issue,but as a fellow chic,I see the humour in your post.

BUT,just in case you are serious,NL isn't a place for grown up issues like this. Don't you know this forum is filled with boys? A lot of them are yahoo boys typing away their frustration on a cybercafe keyboard..tsk tsk.
Dear,you are a strong woman and in time you will find that which you seek.
NB:don't come to Naija o! This place is filled with despradoes. Just say you live in America and they will propose marriage. If you decide to live here,nko,they will spend your hard earned money on one small girl outside and abuse you on top.
Just dey where you dey and watch out for these akuse,bad belle,low self esteemed,insecure and faceless NL men!!