Sorry for the name mix up folks

Efemena_xy:

And what if the guy has got a job and the means to provide the basic needs for the family, but chooses to spend it outside / on girlfriends?

How d'you know he isn't saving up to get a second wife so he can ditch the first one, because suddenly, she looks "old" to him?

What if the wife's decided not to "drag" trousers with him, so he should fulfil his role as the Alpha and Omega, the sole provider and head of the home?

Honestly, sometimes you guys are hard to fathom. If a woman works her fingers to the bone, pregnancy or not, serves the man his dinner whilst kneeling on the floor, he won't be satisfied. He'll find faults because she placed the knife/fork/spoon/cup in the wrong geographical position.

If she chooses to let him run the ship i.e be the sole provider, he'll complain that she's lazy, non supportive, etc.

If he goes to the toilet and she wipes his a$$ for him, then flushes the toilet after he's done, he'll still complain that she used toilet rolls instead of baby soft wipes on his bum!

Honestly, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT SEF??

Thank you Davidylan..
They forget that most men,all in the bid to be the "almighty" husband order their wives to stay home and breed and look after the home actually turn their wives to pennyless house wives. Forgeting that those days will come when there won't be money.
A guy whose wife doesn't have a means of livelyhood doesn't expect manna to fall from heaven if he doesn't drop "chop" money..

The "war" has been on a long time between southerners,especially on nairaland. Oh well, what do I know..smh.

Hmm! Interesting but I beg to disagree with the OP. I know people who actually look better divorced than when they were both single and married!

Are you a busy professional?
We can help you plan your kid(s) next birthday party with as low as 150k. This amount could cover all or some of the following:

Catering/refreshment
Children themed colourful cake
Tents and canopies
Bouncy castles
Cartoon characters
Party packs
Mini amusement park
Colourful venue decor
Children inspired music
Venue

Give us a call for these and more on 081 620 40538 or 0802 100 1436. You'll be glad you did.

Your MTN number isn't going thru. Pls call this number 081 620 40538 and let's talk bizness.

Dear bachelors,
You no longer have to go home to a foodless fridge or wonder what soup to cook this weekend.
We make and deliver different types of soups such as Efo riro,egusi,afang,vegetable,ogbono,ofe owerri,white soup,onugbu,ewedu etc.
Give us a call on 08021001436 and let's fill your tummy and put a smile on your face.

My hubby,is probably everything to me. Its been six years. He helped me out as a jambite(freshman) and helped me find my way around school. He was my bodyguard,nobody dared to mess with me..
Since then he hasn never been far from me. My best friend,my lover,my biggest critic,my comfort zone,my husband,my all.
Love you to pieces boo!

I'm suprise that this thread is still on.
Well,there's no biggie in hiring a cook. As long as you don't run off to eat the one cooked by your mistress while telling her how lazy and untrained your wife is and how she doesn't cook for you.

Johndoe100:

Iya aje jenny can't stand the thought of anyone making money . I guess it reminds here of her own need for money. I find this board quite funny, there at least 4 or 5 boards on this forum where members do biz with each other but here on the family board business seems to be a dirty word. It may just be jenny and her inferiority complex though.

Na wa o!! Anyway,I am not an insurance marketer or anything close to that. I have a similar insurance plan with huge returns and I didn't want to advertise for free hence I put up that post.
Besides,no be by force naw.. Nairaland!!

olas2u: Educational insurance

Exactly. If you need more info,let me know or send your email ad or phone number and let's do the maths.

Thanks CC for your kind advice. I spoke with her and she said she's already talking with a lawyer. And though she's not sure how long its going to drag on (the divorce process),she's ready to do it and move on. According to her she's just been afraid of the unknown.
Once again,thanks and God bless.

chaircover: If she wants to divorce him and you support her divorcing him, then what is the problem? are her parents against it or something?

Her parents are not against it but she's confused and also wary of the stress and consequences of divorce proceedings. I have tried to encourage her the best I can.

Well,I don't know how well she knew him but they dated for about six months without problems. And before then I saw her struggle through relationships. She's a very hardworking lady and easily taken for granted because of her quiet nature. Like I said she lost her job just before the guy proposed and I guess that was what propelled the decision to marry him.

Hello,
I need some serious advice/suggestions on the issue below.

A very close friend of mine has been separated from her husband for over a year. She was married for just a year and half and no issues yet.
Shortly after her wedding she started complaining that her husband doesn't touch her and shouts her down whenever she tries to talk about it with him. (We have know each other for 20yrs and she's like a sister to me). She also complained of so many other things like infidelity,the hubby hitting her at the slighted provocation. And I also knew that she wasn't on talking terms with her hubby three months prior to her separation.
She went to her parents house and all efforts to for the parents to contact him or his family proved abortive and for over one year there hasn't been any kind of communication between them.
So my friend has decided to move on with her life. She got another job because she was laid off from her previous job just before she got married. She is now contemplating divorcing the hubby finally to enable her start afresh. My friend is a beautiful lady with a good head on her shoulder and she's from a good home. And it hurts me to see her everyday being a shadow of her former self. I really do support her decision to get a devorce. What do you people think?

I honestly wouldn't allow my hubby pay for a cook. Its very unnecessary because I cook for a living. I run a catering/baking outfit so what's the big deal in making food for just one man. He performs his own duties as the husband and man of the house perfectly and not one day have I expected him to cook for me. Infact everytime there's a family gathering(cos hubby comes from a huge family),I always volunteer to cook. And may I add that cooking has always been my hobby. I started cooking when I was in JSS3.
And pls I didn't marry my fathers mate who bosses me around,I married my best friend since university and we are both in our early 30s.

ypzilanti: When your husband begins to find fulfiling his 'husbandly' duties stressfull too, dont complain.

Everyone should play their roles.

Besides, I usually find that women who are madly in love with their b/f or husband do not find this a chore. Abi you no love am?

Love is reciprocal. If you love each other then making your spouse happy shouldn't be a big deal as long as its appreciated and not taken for granted.

Even though I hate climbing down the stircase in the morning. I love making breakfast for my boo. He enjoys my cooking and I love to watch him eat. So I seize every opportunity I get to feed him. For now he's the only "kid" I have.

justwise:

. . .and many saying Beijin is better don't have sentiment attached to China and a proven ant-west squad?

Well I'm not anti anything..west,east,north or south.
Every country has its own history no matter how insignificant.Both London and Beijing told their stories,Beijing just did it better IMO.
And if showcasing all the major stars from UK was part of the UK culture,I wonder how rich US culture would have looked in Atlanta '96..

Sentiments aside. Boyle did a good job with his script/idea as displayed at the opening ceremony of London 2012 olympics. But, let's be honest,if he translates the same script to a motion picture movie,how many of you would spend your hard earned cash to watch some boring british history movie. I'd rather watch titanic again,at least I'll shed some tears and get my money's worth.
Many of those saying the Brit did a good job have some sentimental attachment to UK. I don't have any attachment (or weave on) to either UK or China,but I give it to Beijin any day. And yes,I know Naija can't do any better but I still love my country even with all its drama.

Naija men,see as body dey pepper them because na woman be OP weather or not she made the list.
If it was to be a guy,ha! They will quickly agree and give full consent and some sane ones will recognize the humour its meant to be..hypo..
@OP I totally concur,who no want make e go give wet kiss to tansformer.

Abuse. Both physical and emotional. You'll be shocked to know how many women are in abusive relationships. I don't see that as endurance. I see it as cowardice.

pauloman:


My gal frend is only 20,graduating next month frm the university,a hottie n i mean a real hottie like a 9/10 rating,tall,chocolate color,slim ,intelligent ,model figured ,a fair enof churchy type not a religious fanatic or SU,well groomed in home made activities. Though she exhibits some attitudes atimes but not to d extreme. Did i mention that she is still a virgin too. I am engaged to her already n we are getting married soon. Oh and im in my early 30s and she is madly in love with me.


I would say i prefer her to an old late 20s gal whom sometimes could be a very hard nut to crack wen it comes to relating because some of them believe they have seen it all so wat do u want to tell them or do to them that they havent seen before. They also pretend a lot.

So poster the answer is stick to wat ur comfortable with n wat works for u.

Congrats! But, are you also in love with her or you are just with her because of the PHYSICAL qualities you just listed? Please don't come back to NL with the topic "help my girlfriend is getting fat. I want out"..#amjustsaying#

:oI don't think its a good idea. Reason. Some people hide behing anonymousity and aliases to insult and call people names. In fact some don't start a comment or post with out one foul word. So I don't think its a good idea. Some will find out that that person they have insulted the living daylight out of is actually their mum or dad.

BUT,what reasonable married man would call his wife's grown up niece 'sexy'? To prove what point? To drive what message home?
Whatever might have happened between the man and his wife,he had no business tell her. Some men go to the extent of painting their wife's black and badmouthing their marriages just to get some a$$.
A man who sleeps with his housegirl can sleep with the old woman who comes to clean the gutter every saturday. He can even decend to sleeping with his own daughter one day when madam is out of town. To me such men are free to take the next available wheelbarrow to the hottest part of hell.

Saint Chukz: i don't really know why i may be having this thought, but i get the feeling you are a relationship expert/counsellor. Are you one..?

Well,you could say that. I comment on posts I can relate with. As per this topic,I wasn't emotionally ready for a commited relationship till I hit 25. Then I made up my mind to cool down for bros.

Amya: you guys shouldn't be closeminded. What if i really didn't lead him on in any way? What if i put him off, albeit politely? He says 'sexy niece' because according to him, sexiness runs my family. Just thought he was a nice man who genuinely cares for his wife's family. He chats with my brothers as well. Now people accuse of me of plotting to snatch her husband.
I never sent him photos. I rarely ever use my picture on my dp. He must have gone rummaging for my pix on facebook

OP,abeg live all these people talking here. Once they hear(or read) somebody marry somebody,they think its made in heaven therefore no one must relate. Its your aunty I pity because this guy is obviously a scum. This is the kind of man that will toast all the sisters in law and sleep whatever smiles at him. Himself no get shame. I hope your aunty is trully separated from him because he can kill her one day just to bring in another woman. Stewpid fellow. America ko,puerto rico ni. He can even stoop as low as calling the house girl 'fine girl' just to sleep with her. Rubbish.
Honestly if I were you I'll carry a close member of the family along,play along and deal with him ruthlessly. In fact get him to come to Naija and set him up big time with the family. American reject. They feel they can eat their cakes and still have it(or is it the other way round)..

If you are serious about settling down in 18months time then I'll advice you to go for a lady of at least 25,done with NYSC,emotionally matured and ready for a serious relationship.
Unless you are ready to deal with drama,please leave the younger ones alone. If you insist then be ready for competition from either schoolmates,NYSC platoon mates,even peergroup.

igetsbizy: Being broke is not a thing anybody likes to be called but in the economy we find ourselves in today we have more broke people than rich people. Well, kindly share your experiences with dating a broke man, or your experiences as a broke man in a relationship. Personally, I just finished my NYSC and still searching for a job so things are really hard also I am in a relationship with a very financial cautious/high maintanace lady. I cant begin to explain the embarrassment, failed promises and let downs because of lack of cash ... Ladies in the house please share with us on how you have managed in a relationship with a broke person and Gents please share with us on how you managed the relationship before things got better...

I am still looking to read where the OP wrote that his gf is threatening to leave him because he is jobless. The chic could be high maintenance and all that,be she has been with him all these while. Or was he a millionaire in University or during service? I think the OP is just suffering from undue inferiority complex.
After una go say girls too like money.mtcheeew!!