₦airaland Forum

d_oracle:
A couple had been married for only two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 15 different kinds of beer, brands from 6 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , Canada , Nigeria etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop, but at the bar, you know, they have frozen glasses, "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious, I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: hot chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey, at the bar, you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that, "

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

And, they lived happily ever after.

lysaa:
I think u should remain who u are, u don't need to go out of ur way to please her in order to win her heart and in the end, displease yourself. If she wants u, she would eventually be urs. She probably might have gone through some hell with some guy(s) hence her attitude as tho she's been corked up in a bottle. .Guess if u can get her to talk about her past, that might just be an opener that would release her from 'the bottle'. Make her birthday a blast. From ur covos with her, by now u should have clues to what she does and doesn't like. . And most of all, be patient with her. cheers.

Manta:
[center]Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.",
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say,
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered,
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort,
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining,
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly,
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears,
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart,
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly,
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and !
it is her only weakness,
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.

She is special![/center]

Oracle:
Distant relationships are really fun because of the phone calls and the "i miss you's" but it sure is a barrier considering the fact that the two people in the relationship are not together, things could happen and the other party wouldn't know, so itz not always good to leave your love for a very long time.

MyAfriplac:
No questions should be asked to try to learn secrets from your boyfriend. The biggest failure of all relationships is the lack of trust. What would knowing the answer really answer?