₦airaland Forum

I'm rolling on the floor as I'm typing this. Maybe your old man dey work for where they execute condemn criminals

Slurity:
There are a lot of beatings that even make it difficult to remember the worst, however, I remember stealing #200 to buy ball and as if my father got a spiritual eyes called me and ask me to bring my school bag for inspection, the beating for that day was special because at a point he ask me to write a statement and sign it as if we are in police station that anytime i repeat such that i will be electrocuted to death, to everybody's surprise, I refuse to sigh the paper and start shouting ' come kuku electrocute me for this offence because, it is sure I will steal very soon because, if you keep maltreating me and give me no food, I will surely steal again'. All our neighbours present there just quietly leave because they understand that I am leaving with my dad and step mum is very wicked.

Hello my people, abeg I wan ask if na like this Glo network be for una side.

I dey live around Toyin Street for Ikeja, sometimes network go dey for kitchen beside gas cylinder, if I leave there to go piss before I come back network don go, I go dey find am until I see am maybe beside fridge for dinning or beside the water closet for bathroom. If i comot outside the house na that one bad pass....i no go see network until i go sidon for under overhead water tank and guess what ? the thing dey leak.

Abeg ...share your Glo experience.

To incoming president, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar


Sir,

I'm happy to write you this open letter because I'm pretty certain that you won our "futuristic" presidential election due to the overwhelming popularity you have from numerous Nigerians who want a better life, who want to be seen as hardworking and not lazy as seen by one useless, lifeless, senseless, tribalistic, fascist president that is sitting on the throne. Sir, to be honest with you, a large percentage of us support you not because you are the best or most qualified for the job but because we don't want to see the current "Pharaoh" again and we know you are the one that can match him "arsenally" we are not supporting you because we think you are the messiah, no. We are not daft not to know that you are a "thief" as said by APC cum opposition but we need a "Robinhood", that can revive the economy, improve our lives by lifting us through many life improvement programmes, provide good and adequate security and unite the nation. We didnt vote you in to give us excuses of how "President Buhari" and his cronies mismanaged the country in their four year spell, we knew that and that is the reason we changed the baton.
Sir, the greatest advantage you have is to convert their woeful four year mistakes to your advantage without waiting for eternity to appoint your ministers, been a typical Nigerian this writer is, I don't need a soothsayer to tell me that the likes of Saraki, Kwankwaso, Fayose, Wike, Dakwambo, Tambuwal, Taminu Turaki will be a key influencers and decision makers in your government but don't allow them to ride you the way the lifeless one made himself available to the likes of Mamman Daura, Abba Kyari etc, control your government, be firm, be "Atikulate", be unassuming in vital issues, unite the nation, improve the economy, put in your best in insfrastructure, let education voice be heard, appoint competent hands to overhead parastatals, seek for more knowledge to better the lives of average Nigerians, don't be tribalistic and above all sir..."steal little".


Goodspeed to Alhaji Atiku Adekunle Azubuike Abubakar.

Yours,

Schemer

Incase you dont know, Irresponsible National Electoral Commission (INEC) deliberately postpone the election after Yakubu was told to do so by the cabals (under immense pressure though) so that they can perfect their rigging machineries after it has dawned on them that they can't go far with the current opinion polls and realities on ground.

Aftermath of Postponement:
1. The foreign observers (especially the Westerners) have ethics, values and norms. They work with time, they have schedules map out for the next six months, postponement of the election will give more than 50% of them to travel back to attend to other issues thereby given the ruling party edge in carrying out their sinister moves.
2. The ruling party will use the next 6 days to influence the Courts to upturn judgement in Zamfara, Rivers etc thereby given them more votes.
3. Many opposition chieftains to witness assaults and attacks in the next 6 days especially in the South South, North Central and South East regions.
4. More groups, bodies to endorse Buhari. Note that the endorsement will be financially induced.
5. Decamping and counter decampings
6. INEC will tell us that they are under immense pressure to deliver a free fair and credible elections thereby sending a signal to intelligent folks.
There and then, two type of treatments await Buhari;

1. To retire to Daura and live peacefully
2. Gbagbo and Maduro's theories.


Dear Zombies, quote me and see how fast "ògun lakaye òlómi nle féjéwé" works.

To Dare is to Do.

Thank you.

How news headline will look like from next Saturday.

- 6:30am . Distribution of sensitive materials commence by INEC accross the country. (Channels TV).

- 8:15am . Voting commence in several polling units accross the country. (Guardian news).

9:45am : AAC candidate omoyele Sowore Votes, says he is confident that the Nigerian youths will massively vote for him. He commends INEC for a transparent process. (sahara reporters)

- 10:48 am. President Muhammadu Buhari votes in his polling unit in Daura with his wife Aisha Buhari. (Leadership Newspaper).

- 11:25 am. BREAKING: Card reader did not recognise the finger print of PDP candidate, Atiku Abubakar. (Vanguard Newspaper).
11: 29 am . Card reader also rejects Atiku's first wife finger prints, All Atiku's wives finger prints not recognised by card reader. (Thisday News, and Silverbird online TV).

11:45 am. APC leader AsiwajuTinubu votes with his wife Senator Oluremi Tinubu. Commends INEC for a smooth and transparent process. (Nations newspaper).

12:05 pm. Unknown gunmen cart away with ballot boxes in PDP Chiarman Uche Secondus' polling Unit, He warns INEC that there will be war if APC wins the election. (AITnews)

12:34 pm: two men caught by security agencies in Ilorin trying to bribe voters. They have confessed to be PDP agents
(Channels TV).

1:10 pm. Atiku and all his 4 wives completes incident forms and finally votes, Atiku doubts INEC credibility in the elections (AITnews, Channels TV)

1:20 pm. Senate president, Bukola Saraki cries out, accuses security agencies of high handedness, he said that party members are illegally arrested accross the state. He concludes that democracy is in grave danger, calls on international community to intervene. (Channels TV)

1:45: leaders Accross the country commends INEC and security agencies for the smooth electoral process. (Premium times).

1:56 pm. Former Ekiti governor Fayose comes to the polling unit on a wheel chair to votes, claims a police woman slapped him 30 minutes ago (Vanguard)

2:30 pm. PDP leads in 28 states of the Federation, APC has been buried. (Hope for Nigeria, Scannews, NigeriaToday, eastern telegraph, igberenews).

4:14 pm. Nnamdi Kanu thanks IPOB members accross the country for successfully boycotting the elections (Radio Biafra)

4:35 pm: Voting ends accross the country. Counting of votes ongoing in almost all the polling units. (Channels TV).

4:55pm. Saraki wins his polling unit, APC - 97. PDP - 99 AAC - 02. Accusation of heavy vote buying witnessed in this polling unit. (Channels TV).

5:15 pm. Buhari wins his polling unit with a landslide.
APC - 237. PDP - 01. KOWA - 01. NNDP . 01. voided votes -07. ( Premium times).

5:17 pm. Atiku and Obasanjo loses their polling Units, Tinubu wins his polling unit. (Vanguard news).

7:30 pm . Ward coalition commence accross the country. (AIT, Channels TV)

SUNDAY 17TH FEBRUARY.

9:30am : APC in early lead accross the country, PDP cries fowl, calls on US, UN, UK, Germany, France, Afghanistan, Syria, UEFA, FIFA and ECOWAS to intervene. (Vanguard news).

11:39am (Senator Ben Bruce calls on UK and US to immediately place Buhari, Amaechi, Tinubu, Osibanjo and Oshiomole on Visa ban. (Silverbird newsonline)

12:02: PDP wins Katsina, Kano, Bauchi, Kebbi, Bornu Lagos and Yobe (hope for Nigeria, Scannnews).

1:30 pm. INEC to commence National Collation of results by 9am on Monday. 18th Febraury 2019.

2:30 pm. BREAKING: Senate President Saraki and Speaker Dogara loses re-election bid.( Premium times)

TUESDAY 19TH FEBRAURY 2019.

5:30pm BREAKING: President Muhammadu Buhari re-elected the President of Nigeria. After winning 27 states plus FCT (Channels TV).

6:30pm : Governors Willie Obiano and Dave Umahi congratulate President Buhari. (leadership newspaper).

8:00 pm. Theresa May, the prime minister of Britain congratulates president Buhari,. (BBC).

8:07pm - US President Donald Trump congratulate President Buhari. (CNN).

26th February 2019.

Ohaneze NDIGBO president general Nnia Nwodo hails the doggedness of Nnamdi Kanu, backs Biafra's agitation. (VANGUARD).

Zombies back off, this is not for you.

This for all of us shouting "Atikulated, Atikulation etc" it will be so stupid and demeaning of us if we don't go out to vote on Saturday thinking that the "likes, shares" favoring Atiku here on Nairaland, Facebook, Instagram and other forms of social media will transform to him coasting to victory. No, it won't. Brush aside the thinking the ruling party will rig the election thereby holding you back that you won't vote. One of the reason a political party or incumbent can rig successfully without been known to the populace is when one political party present an unpopular candidate(s) where the "rigger" present popular candidates(s). To be honest with ourselves both of them President Buhari himself and Atiku are popular candidates in every spheres of the country while Atiku has more followers in the South South and South East of the country. For Dullardhino to rig without uproar in the country will be same as Man City scoreline against Chelsea yesterday (apologies to Chelsea Fans) because all of us will be present to know what each candidates has right from the polling units to local government collation centres up to top thereby giving us red flags whenever what we expect to hear is different from they are telling us (Results).
And for those of you clamouring and willing to vote for any third force, kwantinue...You are just wasting your vote or supporting Buhari indirectly. Don't get me wrong, i will be foolish not to know that APC and PDP are rogues, I know quite well because I'm a realist Nigerian but I'm choosing the preferred "Robinhood" against "integrity" who abhor criminals and a harbinger of death, pains, sorrow tears and blood.

Thank you.

Schemer.

Zombies back off, this is not for you.

This for all of us shouting "Atikulated, Atikulation etc" it will be so stupid and demeaning of us if we don't go out to vote on Saturday thinking that the "likes, shares" favoring Atiku here on Nairaland, Facebook, Instagram and other forms of social media will transform to him coasting to victory. No, it won't. Brush aside the thinking the ruling party will rig the election thereby holding you back that you won't vote. One of the reason a political party or incumbent can rig successfully without been known to the populace is when one political party present an unpopular candidate(s) where the "rigger" present popular candidates(s). To be honest with ourselves both of them President Buhari himself and Atiku are popular candidates in every spheres of the country while Atiku has more followers in the South South and South East of the country. For Dullardhino to rig without uproar in the country will be same as Man City scoreline against Chelsea yesterday (apologies to Chelsea Fans) because all of us will be present to know what each candidates has right from the polling units to local government collation centres up to top thereby giving us red flags whenever what we expect to hear is different from they are telling us (Results).
And for those of you clamouring and willing to vote for any third force, kwantinue...You are just wasting your vote or supporting Buhari indirectly. Don't get me wrong, i will be foolish not to know that APC and PDP are rogues, I know quite well because I'm a realist Nigerian but I'm choosing the preferred "Robinhood" against "integrity" who abhor criminals and a harbinger of death, pains, sorrow tears and blood.

Thank you.

Schemer.

Zombies back off, this is not for you.

This for all of us shouting "Atikulated, Atikulation etc" it will be so stupid and demeaning of us if we don't go out to vote on Saturday thinking that the "likes, shares" favoring Atiku here on Nairaland, Facebook, Instagram and other forms of social media will transform to him coasting to victory. No, it won't. Brush aside the thinking the ruling party will rig the election thereby holding you back that you won't vote. One of the reason a political party or incumbent can rig successfully without been known to the populace is when one political party present an unpopular candidate(s) where the "rigger" present popular candidates(s). To be honest with ourselves both of them President Buhari himself and Atiku are popular candidates in every spheres of the country while Atiku has more followers in the South South and South East of the country. For Dullardhino to rig without uproar in the country will be same as Man City scoreline against Chelsea yesterday (apologies to Chelsea Fans) because all of us will be present to know what each candidates has right from the polling units to local government collation centres up to top thereby giving us red flags whenever what we expect to hear is different from they are telling us (Results).
And for those of you clamouring and willing to vote for any third force, kwantinue...You are just wasting your vote or supporting Buhari indirectly. Don't get me wrong, i will be foolish not to know that APC and PDP are rogues, I know quite well because I'm a realist Nigerian but I'm choosing the preferred "Robinhood" against "integrity" who abhor criminals and a harbinger of death, pains, sorrow tears and blood.

Thank you.

Schemer.

So they never play any game since your 02/02 ticket enter? Scammer

I'm really happy to read people experience on here because I've been thinking like a mad man for the past 4 months, I thought maybe na village pple dey disturb me but reading how other express themselves here relax my mind. It's terrible trying to survive in Nigeria. All my neighbors at the shop don't bother to come to their respective shops again, some like 2-3 days at home citing poor sales and poor economy.

At least I can sleep tonight knowing fully well that "Aye is not doing me"

I believe the man is devil incarnate when he was alive for his children not to have a pic snap with him


Africa sha

There was a country ....Chinua Achebe

Army Arrangement
Zombie
Sufering and smiling......Fela Anikulapo Kuti

It's hard to convince me that these two guys didn't see the future.

Ok....let's see

All I see is Wire Lords and footballers

I bet No....but for ME come 2019, I'm voting Buhari, wanna know my reason? Just to prove a point that those who voted for him in 2015 that I'm adding to their woes.

Awol1:
Pls I wanna ask one question...

Can those who voted for Buhari in 2015, hit their chest and say they are still proud of the choice they made?

I read all the comments to this 8th thread and I can boldly say, been a certified psychologist, that almost half the commentators are now more mature than what they were before, that is is the reason most of them lost interest in some certain things ...i mean the FB, Whatsapp group , Soccer , Sex crew. Loosing interest in those areas doesn't mean you are depress, NO. It simply means that you've realize that you have reached the elastic point because you can't go further in it. @Hailesellasie, been a last born dont normally prepare you for what life have to offer and it shook you to bone marrow to see that your mum could remarry a year after you father's death, you use that as yardstick to think that same can happen to you...you are right bro. My advise for you. Take everyone as they are to you...don't think because Mr. A did right Mr. B should..you will be having problem if you continue to think like that.

After all said ....note this quote it will help your inner self.

"There is neither good nor bad, thinking made it so"

If you can live in Ado-Ekiti, you will survive hell. It's fucking expensive indeed.

mezarddinny:
cost of living in ado-ekiti is fuccking expensive, that small town can squeeze life out of man

625k Mileage? You drive it all the way from US come naija ni?

Make Una wait......how come we haven't heard about Fulani herdsmens lately, not that I miss the way they kill people but I must admit that ever since some people have decamp, we haven't heard anything like herdsmens attack.....is that the herdsmens are watching the political transfer to other clubs at the moment that make them hold the killings?

Seems everything is a script written by one or group of producers.
Ayam not understanding.

Make Una wait......how come we haven't heard about Fulani herdsmens lately, not that I miss the way they kill people but I must admit that ever since some people have decamp, we haven't heard anything like herdsmens attack.....is that the herdsmens are watching the political transfer to other clubs at the moment that make them hold the killings?

Seems everything is a script written by one or group of producers.
Ayam not understanding.

Very good for knacking too

Bro Jaid, please how much will it cost to clear 2007/2008 Camry and 2007/2008 Lexus E350?
Via Grimaldi

The guy went extreme by slapping the lady, that's absurd and gross irresponsibility irrespective of the number of eggs involved or mannerless approach of the lady. To the ladies ranting here calling it poverty minded, I've seen how most of you praised the Zuckerbergs, the Bezos , the Dangotes for looking so simple but want someone who can't afford an egg by herself to crash another person "pikin" economy in the name of relationship. This isn't about poverty, it is about ethics, norms and values we possesses. I believe this topic wouldn't have come to limelight if the lady go to buy eggs immediately the guy saw her action as extravagance, with that, the guy will feel sober and make amends but no, you ladies want a man that will bear all your burden from head to toenail. I can't and I will never accept of what I can't tolerate during my marriage to happen during date, I'm not in support of blind love but I will rather see you leave than raise my hand on you.

We are the most stupid and dumbest set of human to ever walk this earth, our collective wealth is been stolen right in our face and we keep ranting here on social media instead of us to rise up and kill em all before they kill us including the unborn generations.

This is Nigeria

What's Federal Character Commission when we have Federal Cows Commision

Before you quote me, rethink. I'm neither a PDP or APC apologist. I live and work in Ado-Ekiti in one of the Federal Agencies.

The election was free and fair in counting starting from pooling units in my area down to numerous next. BUT the fact still remains that an unpopular party will always be no matter what, believe me or not , 80 percent of APC votes in my area was bought by them. They coerceed the voters with cash, 5k, 7k ..depends on your bargaining power and you have to show the apc agents before you get paid. They had a field day without hindrance from any security agents. Most police vans were seen carrying APC agents with cash for proper and even distribution. In lieu of this all....Take a look at the margin, less than 20k votes which in MY opinion doesn't mean that the winner is popular and acceptable due to the fact that some voters somewhere amounting to that MAY wish to vote for PDP but got denied due to one logistics or other but Ekiti people have spoken and their voice need to be heard.

One thing that I note is that the era of stuffing ballot boxes is over but NEVER can we overcome votes buying and selling because they will always bring policies that we make us dance to their tune.

Once again, I repeat , the votes were counted not just written as some might perceived.

Na so so church we just dey build and invest on and our minds keep getting darker towards one another without remorse.

What did you study in school and what's your major?

Organism000:
Hard as it might seem to believe, there are people facing addictions, be it weed smoking, to tramadol and even something as simple as alcohol addiction.

Please note that none of the mentioned are totally bad. Alcohol lightens the mood, tramadol is pain relief medication, cannabis is organic sedative and even gambling is a game of luck. But the issue is addiction.

To break an addiction, you need to understand it's real nature. Because it is not the substance or event, but the mental programming that fuels the repetitive action.

When you repeat an action more than 21 times, consistent repetition of same actions wires the sub-conscious programming of the non-physical body, that controls our character. So, basically gambling as an automatic response is now a program of your motor neurons.

How you break the cycle ? You must disable the sub-conscious programming by deactivating the motor neurons responsible for involuntary responses.

How is that done ? Many ways, but the easiest for a dummy like you, is simple but tough for people to hear. Which of your friends or relatives really hates you for living the way you do ? Go to that person, let them make fun of you so badly that you are broken, you feel useless, and you feel like fighting the person. You cry in the inside and challenge yourself to get better. In fact, if you can go to the place you waste your money and start a fight and let them beat the hell out of you. You would have closed that chapter and never go there again.

Sometimes you need to get lucked up in police cell to face some level of trauma that will disable certain neural programming, that is what prisons are built for.

If you can not do the above, then you need to go through the slow processes which hardly work. That includes, finding a girlfriend who hates who you are now and is ready to make you better. Love changes people who fall in love and are heart broken and want to be better for better mates to lay by their sides.

Most people get married out of depression and transfer their aggression to their innocent wives. You are a time-bomb waiting to happen, and woe betide any woman who will surrender her body to a scumbag. Was this painful ?, you need more of it to feel stupid enough to change.

On set of one of their numerous meaningless movies

Hope you are not going to comit suicide? It's better you kill yourself than do that.

kinzation:
TIZ ALL OVER....


GOOD NIGHT NIGERIANS