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Jokes Etc / God Please Connect Me To My Dasuki ...photos by scofieldsimba(m): 5:45pm On Dec 19, 2015
Baba God, connect me to my Dasuki before the end of this year.. Amen

Crime / Security Alert... by scofieldsimba(m): 3:38pm On Dec 19, 2015
“Security Alert! This is to awake our security consciousness!!!. A story is told of how armed robbers are snatching the innocent people of their vehicles nowadays. In a party or public gathering, they will meet the MC to make an announcement of a particular car with registration number so so and so blocking them, while gun will be drawn out to the potential driver at the point of the car.
Do the following when your vehicle registration number is being called: (1) take ur time b/4 going out, (2) don’t go out alone, at least in coy of two or more people, (3) don’t go directly to where the car is parked, at least to confirm from a distance if you are blocking another car truly. Somebody who witnessed how one of such announcer was apprehended with a pistol in his pocket. Share this experience today and save a lot of people. You must be your brother’s keeper”.
Wishing you all a prosprous Christmas and new year celebration..
Crime / Re: Nigerian Jailed 330 Years In The US For Raping Daughter by scofieldsimba(m): 3:55am On Dec 19, 2015
Hmmm

Let's see how it goes....

Ihe onye choro ko ofu..
Crime / Re: Abiodun Egunjobi, 'Godogodo', Armed Robber's Fall (Photos) by scofieldsimba(m): 5:50pm On Dec 10, 2015
The guy na real one eyed Sunday..
Sports / Re: Emmanuel Adebayor And His Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe Worth $300k (Photo) by scofieldsimba(m): 2:48pm On Dec 10, 2015
Y
Politics / Re: Okonjo-Iweala's Letter To Jonathan Asking For Permission To Send $300m To Dasuki by scofieldsimba(m): 2:39pm On Dec 10, 2015
Nothing to say foe now..

But on a lighter note ;
my dear Ghanaians
Its church, not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'.
Doctor, not 'Dactar'.
Oh South Africans
its Happy not 'Ape pee'
My fellow Nigerians
Its bath, not 'baff'. Our currency is called
Naira, not 'narrah'.
My dear Edo people
Its argument, not 'ajument'.
My dear Yorubas
Its Air, not 'hair'. Eight, not 'hate'. Its Van
Persie, not 'Fan Persin'.
My dear Ibadan peeps
Its not 'sun tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its not
'siro' but zero!
My dear Hausa people
Its fifty, not 'pipty'. Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its
five, not 'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it is
'Tuface weds Annie
Macauley', stop saying 'Toothpaste weds
Animal calling'.
My Egun people
Its actually 'MTN' and not 'NTM'!
My dear Calabar peeps
Kindly note its love and not 'rurf'.
it's at least not Alice.
its God not cord.
My Benue people ( Tiv)
Its not 'Lick Loss', its 'Rick Ross' its l Rain nt
lain, Rat
nt lat, rubber nt lubber, itz road nt load,
My Igbo people,
There is nothing like 'thaaasand', it is
thousand. It is bed-sheet and not 'bay
sheet'. And its thirty, not 'thartie'!
Our Lord's prayer is actually 'Our Father,
who at in Heaven. Hallowed be your
name...', and not 'Our Father, look at eleven,adaobi thy name..

100 Likes 8 Shares

Jokes Etc / Very Funny Different Accent And Pronunciations by scofieldsimba(m): 1:50pm On Dec 10, 2015
my dear Ghanaians
Its church, not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'.
Doctor, not 'Dactar'.
Oh South Africans
its Happy not 'Ape pee'
My fellow Nigerians
Its bath, not 'baff'. Our currency is called
Naira, not 'narrah'.
My dear Edo people
Its argument, not 'ajument'.
My dear Yorubas
Its Air, not 'hair'. Eight, not 'hate'. Its Van
Persie, not 'Fan Persin'.
My dear Ibadan peeps
Its not 'sun tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its not
'siro' but zero!
My dear Hausa people
Its fifty, not 'pipty'. Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its
five, not 'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it is
'Tuface weds Annie
Macauley', stop saying 'Toothpaste weds
Animal calling'.
My Egun people
Its actually 'MTN' and not 'NTM'!
My dear Calabar peeps
Kindly note its love and not 'rurf'.
it's at least not Alice.
its God not cord.
My Benue people ( Tiv)
Its not 'Lick Loss', its 'Rick Ross' its l Rain nt
lain, Rat
nt lat, rubber nt lubber, itz road nt load,
My Igbo people,
There is nothing like 'thaaasand', it is
thousand. It is bed-sheet and not 'bay
sheet'. And its thirty, not 'thartie'!
Our Lord's prayer is actually 'Our Father,
who at in Heaven. Hallowed be your
name...', and not 'Our Father, look at eleven,adaobi thy name..
Politics / Local Government System In Nigeria; A conduit pipe for economic wastages by scofieldsimba(m): 10:38am On Dec 10, 2015
The local government is the third tier of government saddled with responsibilities of entrenching the dividends of democracy to various communities,wards and towns..

Some are usually elected by the people while some are appointed by the Governor of the state in consultation with some stakeholders.

The idea of sustaining developments at the local level using our various local government chairmen as a vehicle was indeed a well thought out approach by our founding fathers.

So many years down the line, I am forced to ask if our various LGA chairman have lived up to expectation?

Your guess is as good as mine.

The high level of corruption in most LGAs in Nigeria is mindblowing. Most LGA chairmen are just figure heads planted by various godfathers and at the end of the month pay royalties to these unscrupulous elemenst masquerading themselves as stakeholders to the detriment of developmental projects in their various councils.


My view is very simple;

We need to begin to ask questions..

The social media should also beam their searchlights on the activities of various LGA chairmen and their evil cohorts..

EFCC should also look into their various activities and prosecute those found to have shortchanged our commond good.

This change must go round..

Nairalanders, let me see your views..
Celebrities / Re: Rapper Splash Goes On Grocery Shopping In California {photos} by scofieldsimba(m): 9:48am On Dec 10, 2015
axortedbabe:
I no know, d girl get flow sha..
Maybe na poor record label

Yea, I think it should be poor record label.

This chick don feature A list artist, yet people no de talk about her..

No major endorsement to the best of my knowledge.


Splash baby, please up your game.


Just like peak milk; its in you..
Celebrities / Re: Rapper Splash Goes On Grocery Shopping In California {photos} by scofieldsimba(m): 2:20am On Dec 10, 2015
Why this chick never blow ?
Celebrities / Re: A Nairalander's Songs Now On MTN Plus by scofieldsimba(m): 2:18am On Dec 10, 2015
Airforce1,I know say one day you go Make us proud.


Keep keeping real.


You must surely make am
Crime / Re: Be Your Own Security As Yuletide Evolves! by scofieldsimba(m): 8:01pm On Nov 26, 2015
Ok

Op abeg u get mouth like kettle..

Nice one..
Politics / Re: Treasury Single Account: Its Benefit, Major Players And Unnecessary Controversy by scofieldsimba(m): 9:45am On Nov 19, 2015
Wonderful write up..

13 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: A Taxi Driver’s Guide To Understanding The Naira Devaluation by scofieldsimba(m): 7:04pm On Nov 06, 2015
Make I follow spread this lovely joke..



I was in Mr Biggs yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to mess, They were playing Don Jazzy’s Dorobucci. The music was really really loud, so I timed my mess with the beat of the music. I was releasing my mess alongside the music so that nobody would hear the sound of the mess although the mess was very loud too. When I finished, I started to feel better but I looked around and noticed that everybody in the restaurant frowned and was staring at me….. Why? Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to the music with my ear-phone. I almost fainted!!!
Politics / Re: A Taxi Driver’s Guide To Understanding The Naira Devaluation by scofieldsimba(m): 7:01pm On Nov 06, 2015
Ï
Politics / An Ex Bankers View About Salary.... by scofieldsimba(m): 10:24am On Nov 06, 2015
THOSE OF YOU RELYING SO MUCH ON UR JOB

Over dependence on one income source is risky. Ask ex-Zenith bank staff.

CHECK OUT DIS HARD ANALYSIS
Divide ur salary by 30, i.e. the number of days in a month and see the funny thing about ur salary plan.
E.g #60,000/30= #2000
Less than d amount made daily by an average hawker in the city.
#72,000/30=# 2400
Less than d amount earned daily by an average driver in d city and some villages.
#120,000/30= #4000
Less than the daily amount earnd by a kekenapep, taxi, and a tipper car driver.
HOPE BY NOW, ITS SINKING IN, RIGHT?

NOW FOR THE TRIVIAL
And when there is an issue in the family that requires financial assistance, the driver, hawkers and the rest are looking up to u.

If u are an NYSC member u don't need to be told.
#19,800/30 = #660
I hope u know dat pure water sellers & wheel barrow pushers probably makes more money than u each day.

We shouldn't end at satisfactions from these earnings. We should be more proactive, create room for more income and strive to aim higher.

#FinancialWisdom.

1 Like

NYSC / Re: Should The National Youth Service Corps (nysc) Scheme Be Reformed Or Scrapped? by scofieldsimba(m): 5:52pm On Nov 03, 2015
airsaylongcon:


You obviously haven't served! Do you know how many secondary schools rely on Corp members as teaching staff?
Wrong!

I served over 10 years ago..

It was purely a waste of time and goverment resources..
Government should employ teachers and not rely on corps members..

2 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: Should The National Youth Service Corps (nysc) Scheme Be Reformed Or Scrapped? by scofieldsimba(m): 2:34pm On Nov 03, 2015
It should be scrapped ...

Not adding anything to our economy.



It should b replaced with one year compulsary skill aquisition..
That's what's up!

4 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: Goodluck Jonathan Arrives From Commonwealth Assignment (photo) by scofieldsimba(m): 10:52pm On Oct 31, 2015
Weldone sir!
Politics / Re: Why Nigerian Economy Can't Sustain Bicameral System Of Government .... by scofieldsimba(m): 9:17pm On Oct 31, 2015
tonytony208:


You are both right and wrong.

In China, the ligua franca is chinese, so they don't need to know how to speak in English.

But in Nigeria, our lingua franca is English. And someone once said what is worth doing (or speaking) at all is worth doing (or speaking) well.
That's what am saying.. Our colonial masters sold everything to us..

And we are still where we are...

Just imagine where would have been today as a nation if we were taught with our indegenous language..

Now they tell you u can't gain admission into higher institution because you had a pass in only English language, even if u had credits in other subjects.

In the days ahead, I will be saying something on this..
Politics / Re: Nigerian Economy Records ‘Worst Week’ Since 2008 - The Cable by scofieldsimba(m): 3:07pm On Oct 31, 2015
Tough days ahead....
But with good economic team and good policies,we will bounce back...

But must face the bitter truth: true federalism is the sure way out....

44 Likes 3 Shares

Politics / Re: Why Nigerian Economy Can't Sustain Bicameral System Of Government .... by scofieldsimba(m): 1:32pm On Oct 31, 2015
TonyeBarcanista:
Pray we don't slide into recession
That's my greatest fear...

We just can't continue to act like all is well..
Politics / Re: Should CBN Print More Money To Aid Our Dwindling Economy? by scofieldsimba(m): 1:27pm On Oct 31, 2015
dultmax:
goods and services produced in an economy are the key determinant of the value of a country's currency. Nigeria has a country lost its chances to improve its economy and add value to its currency when the price of crude oil rises to about 140$ per barrel. what this means is that the country earns more dollars (which is the center piece currency in the forex market) and as such should have a high impact on naira. However, naira does not appreciates during these years and this actually goes against economic indicators. However the only factor that can be responsible for these means that as the country is earning more dollars, so also is something taking away the dollars from the country and that is another concept of money laundery. in simple terms, the country now sell crude oil around 50 dollar per barrel which is the reason for the sharp decline in the nations revenue base and a reason why we need to source for another means to earn dollars which they now call diversification. The economy will fix itself if other sectors like Agriculture, Mining, can be developed . printing more money will devalue our currency and thats inflation.

The price of crude oil may never go beyond $60 for a very long time..

I just hope there is an easy way out...

1 Like

Politics / Re: Should CBN Print More Money To Aid Our Dwindling Economy? by scofieldsimba(m): 1:23pm On Oct 31, 2015
tonytony208:


It can only be done in secret and not in open.
Sure,that's what am hoping...

Men we gats meet up man..

Crude oil is not paying any longer. Nigeria lost over 43 billion naira last month.

That's enough to take care of like 5 states..
Politics / Re: Why Nigerian Economy Can't Sustain Bicameral System Of Government .... by scofieldsimba(m): 1:12pm On Oct 31, 2015
whirlwind7:
Haven't anyone realized that this system has NOT made any appreciable improvement compared with where we should have been by now?
If you were to place every development indices made so far, side by side with foreign exchange earnings from crude oil since the 70s, then you will realize that in fact, we are regressing.

Isn't it abhorrent that two prominent leaders in the past once mentioned that the problem Nigeria has is not money, but how to spend it?
Since then, you would think that every backroad in every rural community is tarred, steady electricity and pipe borne water wouldn't be a luxury anymore.
Of course, our government isn't working, and it will NEVER work. It is the utmost foolishness to keep repeating the same process over and over again, and expecting a different result.

Boss you are so on point.

We just have to face the bitter truth..

We need to explore other workable ideas. We can not continue to sit and fold our hands hoping all will be well.
Politics / Re: Why Nigerian Economy Can't Sustain Bicameral System Of Government .... by scofieldsimba(m): 1:04pm On Oct 31, 2015
tonytony208:


Tell yourself the truth. How you write determines how you are assessed. How can you be spelling privilege as preveledge? This is a mistake a primary 5 pupil will not make.
What stops you from checking your spellings before posting?

Thanks for the correction.
But let me be frank with you, those guys in China manufacturing most of the things we use in Africa don't even know how to read nor write English language...

The point is English language is over rated.

1 Like

Politics / Re: MTN Gets November Deadline To Pay Fine by scofieldsimba(m): 6:04am On Oct 31, 2015
We need the fine...
Crime / Court Jail Oil Thieves For 84 Years by scofieldsimba(m): 5:49am On Oct 31, 2015
By Abdulwahab Abdulah
Justice Okon Abang of the Federal High Court sitting in Lagos yesterday convicted seven men to 84 years imprisonment for illegal and unlawful dealing in 1,459 metric tonnes of Premium Motor Spirit, popularly called petrol. The court sentenced each of the convicts to a jail term of 12 years each  commencing Friday after the Judge found them guilty of the five count charge preferred against them.
The convicts are; Adedamola Ogungbayi; Olaniran Olabode; Suraju Gasali; Moses Emmanuel; Wilson Bonsi; Okaraodi Uche and Onyeogo Happy. Apart from the jail term, Justice Abang also  ordered the forfeiture of the vessel, ‘MT Good Success’, used by the convicts in stealing the said petroleum product, as well as the recovered petroleum product to the Federal Government.
The judge also ordered the forfeiture of the sums of N66.6m and $975,000 belonging to the convicts’ company, Hepa Global Energy Limited, domiciled with the First City Monument Bank to the Federal Government. To ensure a compliance to his judgement, Abang ordered the filing of an affidavit of compliance with the order within 21 days of the judgement.
The convicts, were arraigned alongside their vessel and company on August 28, 2014 on five counts alongside one Padoun Jacob, who was discharged and acquitted by the court. The judge, in setting Jacob free on all the five counts, described him as a desperate job seeker, who became a victim of circumstances.
The judge noted that the stolen petroleum product had been loaded  before Jacob was employed by Hepa Global Energy Limited on February 7, 2014.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/10/court-jails-oil-thieves-for-84yrs/
Politics / MTN Gets November Deadline To Pay Fine by scofieldsimba(m): 5:33am On Oct 31, 2015
By Emmanuel Elebeke
As the controversy over the N1.4 trillion fine on MTN lingers, the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) has given MTN Nigeria a deadline of 16 November to pay the fine imposed on it for failing to register the personal details of 5.1 million subscribers.
This deadline is coming after the  South Africa’s stock exchange, JSE Ltd, launched an investigation into the timing of the operator’s announcement of its penalty.
According to a report, the spokesman for the Nigerian Communications Commission, the country’s telecoms watchdog, was quoted as saying that the outcome of the discussion may affect the date.
A statement by MTN said its CEO is still in talks with the Nigerian authorities and its senior management and advisers also talking to JSE, after the announcement of the fine knocked around 20 percent off the company’s stock price.
‘‘That’s why they are having the discussion so that they can reach a solution,” the spokesperson said.
The report also said Nigeria’s presidency and internal security agency are involved in the talks.
As for the JSE probe, the head of the regulatory division, Andre Visser, said “the investigation will follow due process to establish whether there have been any breaches of the listings requirements and can be a lengthy process.”
Under South African capital markets rules, companies are required to immediately warn shareholders of price-sensitive information.
Meanwhile, Fitch Ratings has revised MTN Group’s outlook to negative, owing “to the risk of a significant cash outflow due to a substantial fine imposed on MTN’s Nigerian operations, which could increase leverage and pressure MTN’s credit metrics.”

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/10/mtn-gets-november-deadline-to-pay-n1-4trn-fine/
Business / Re: Three Banks In Danger ~cbn by scofieldsimba(m): 5:12am On Oct 31, 2015
Politics aside, all is not well with our economy..

2 Likes

Politics / Re: President Buhari Back To Nigeria After A 4-day Working Trip To India - Photos by scofieldsimba(m): 5:08am On Oct 31, 2015
Welcome Mr president.

Please fix our economy.

5 Likes

Politics / Why Nigerian Economy Can't Sustain Bicameral System Of Government .... by scofieldsimba(m): 5:04am On Oct 31, 2015
Am so worried about the state of our economy..

In days to come, so many people are going to loose their jobs because things are not just working out for now..

I still have strong confidence that things will get better soonest but I feel as a country we need to go back to the drawing board...

Our current system of governance is also killing our economy. It is not working out. It is to the benefits of the privilege few.

We need to work things out and chart a new course for our dear country Nigeria.

What is the way forward?

Cc
Tonyebarcanista
Midolian
Mogidi
Ngeneukwenu

Etc.....
Lalasticlala.. Show me love

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