₦airaland Forum

I won't lie, there were some side effects, but mostly it's about finding the right pill for your own body chemistry. It might take some time to adjust and in the meantime it isn't always pleasant. Personally I went on the pills because I have a condition which prevents ovulation, leading to infertility if it's untreated. The bcp were actually used to cause ovulation so that I would be able to have children when I wanted them. Eventually my period regulated itself and I didn't have to use them anymore.

It's really something to discuss in detail with your doctor, especially if you are using them for the prevention of pregnancy because there are a lot of rules involved. Like antibiotics render them ineffective in preventing pregnancy, if you weigh over a certain amount the percentage of effectiveness also drops. There are lots of birth control methods out there and although condoms and bcp are the most common there are other options which may be a better fit for some people. Like I said, something to discuss in depth with your ob/gyn.

Oh and I almost forgot, just to clarify something. Coca-cola did not ever contain cocaine. It contained extracts from the Coca bean which can be refined in to cocaine, but at no time did Coca-cola contain actual refined cocaine.

People seem to be making birth control pills in to some sort of monstrous thing that steals nature's ability to do it's thing. I don't know how I feel about stopping the period entirely but only having it 4 times a year would be ok with me. What no one has mentioned though is that some people take birth control pills so that they HAVE their periods, rather than trying to prevent them. I was taking birth control pills for 3 years even though I wasn't sexually active in order to regulate my period and actually make it come. Nature is not perfect, don't demonize birth control pills when they can in fact be very good things to have.

Drunk-driving is not comparable in the least to someone being homosexual. Drunk-driving is a criminal offence because it is dangerous and most potentially deadly to other people who have done absolutely nothing criminal whatsoever, it's an offence because it puts other people's lives in danger. Homosexuality in no way endangers your life, it's la ifestyle that cannot lead to the death of any individual who is not willingly involved in it. Drunk-drivers kill innocent people every day, people who did absolutely nothing but happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's not comparable.

As long as we are sharing statistics here are some more for you to look over.

* According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) here in the US in 2004 the number of new AIDS cases attributed to homosexual behavior was 17,691. The number attributed to heterosexual behavior was 13,128. Those are awfully close numbers for that to be attributed all to homosexual behavior.

* Again according to the CDC, the majority of new AIDS cases in 2004 were in the age brackets of 35-44. This would make that study about lifespan in terms of this disease moot. The number of new medications available allows many people to live for another 20-30 years after contracting the HIV virus. Perhaps if education were more prevalent and condemnation less, there would be lower numbers in general.

*The CDC also cites statistics for Chlamydia infection rates in 2004. African American females have a disproportionate percentage of new infections, their rate is actually 7.5 times that of caucasian females. What does this say about African American females? (Let me be clear that I'm not saying anything about African American females, I'm only citing their statistics)

*African Americans were also 19 times more likely than caucasians to have contracted Gonorrhea in 2004 while Pacific Islanders had the lowest percentage of new infection.

I would gladly provide more statistics, but that shall have to wait as it is time for me to go to church. Are you shocked Akolawole? Yes, me, the homosexual supporter goes to church.

Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. That's all I have to say to your latest litany of religious fervor Akolawole.

@diddy4dt

I have no idea who those people are you talked about. As Akolawole said, I am not a Nigerian. I don't view being gay as a crime which is why I gave the examples that I did when referring to it. If you read my posts carefully I don't even concede that it's actually a choice, I argued from that stance because of who I was speaking with. In reality I don't believe in the death penalty for any of the crimes you listed (the ones listed outright, the ones about people as I said I do not know of).

When it comes down to it though, I don't believe that being gay is a crime. Yes, my father is gay, no I don't particularly like it because it seems to have made my life increasingly difficult especially when dating guys who seem to have it through their thick skull that every gay man is somehow attracted to them just because they possess the proper equipment. Excuse me, but do you wish to sleep with every girl you see? I would hope not and if you do you have a problem. Gay men are the same way as everyone else, they don't want to sleep with every butt they come across. As for my father, his life is his own and I cannot live it for him, he has made his choices.

I disagree with criminalizing a lifestyle in general.

@Akolawole

Not that it truly matters, I am from New York in the US.

Yesterday was more interesting then today so I'll write about that. Went to a big sale with two of my friends and got the entire 12 book Left Behind series for $8. My friends left to go home and I spoke with my boyfriend. He broke up with me over the phone, which I suppose is better then the last time which was through e-mail. I wasn't really sad, I was just annoyed. I went to see my boss and a co-worker and ended up hanging out with them until midnight. I'm glad that I have some sort of support system since he's obviously not one. I'm almost glad to go back to being single, at least I don't have someone nagging me to change all the time now.

Really I believe that the validity of the actual scroll should be questioned.  The currently accepted versions of the New Testament in the Bible (meaning NIV, King James, NLT, etc) are made up of books that were written within 100 years of the life and death of Jesus.  They are so widely accepted because not only were they all written within that time period, but there are hundreds of copies of these documents that are all accurate down to the exact wording in most cases.  Now, copies at the time were made by hand, therefore finding hundreds of copies of a document that are, for the most part, precisely the same is not such an easy thing.  Such commonly accepted books as works of Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates have much fewer available copies and for the most part no originals to compare to.  Some of their works have as few as 7 manuscripts that date hundreds of years after it was orginally written.  But yet these books are more widely accepted than the Bible.  All of these facts add validity to the New Testament as it is.  I would not be so quick to jump in to accepting this new document that was written so long after the other books, by a third party, that seems to only have one manuscript.  It's questionable at best, and although scientifically interesting, religiously, it doesn't hold water.

@Akolawole

I don't pretend to know all of the tenets of the Nigerian Constitution, therefore I cannot produce a litany of examples. But think about it, this would allow imprisonment for a way of life. What other ways of life could eventually be viewed as a "crime?" This is what I meant by a slippery slope, once something like this is outlawed it opens the door for other human rights violations. I believe I already gave examples of choices.

Shannon:
Since you believe it is a choice, let me throw out some examples of other choices people make. Someone who is overweight? Someone who is dressed scantily on the streets? All people who drive a certain make of car?

@aannese

What you're talking about is the real problem at this time. The fact that children of gay parents cannot live a safe normal life, not because of their parents, but because of others who live in fear of what they cannot understand. Gay parents have children out of love, they want to offer a loving home to a child who might otherwise never have one. The persecution faced by these children is a separate issue because obviously the parents aren't persecuting them. It's the small-minded that choose to spread hate and bigotry to any group. Whether it be based on race, sex, class, or sexual orientation. Maybe the problem you should be addressing is why those children face such persecution when studies show that they have the same likelihood of being gay as those children raised by heterosexual parents. Based on your statements it would seem that students in your school face harsh treatment based on other things their parents do. In the end, we are not our parents, I would hope that in today's generation there would be more understanding and less hate.

I have the same things to say that were said to you. And I quote:

Shannon:
I believe this is a slippery slope for any nation to embark upon. Infringing on the rights of homosexuals opens the door to infringe upon the rights of all other citizens.

Please, don't let your personal bias cloud your vision of what this could lead to in the long run. The rights of all citizens could soon be on the chopping block along with those of homosexuals.

davidylan:
After all said and done, marriage is a SERIOUS commitment! it is the scariest investment in the world; see all you stand to lose as a guy:
1. your freedom
2. goodbye to nights out with the boys
3. goodbye to monday night football
4. bye bye to hamburgers, french fries and pizza
5. no more spontaneous travelling
6. be ready to explain every phone call, coffee stain etc
7. be ready to spend all your weekends at the shopping mall
8. bye bye to i, me and myself
9. bye bye to personal accounts
10. welcome to nagging version 1.0
11. Know all florists in town
12. have hankies at the ready all the time

If I had this view of marriage I would be scared of it as well, good Lord.  1-5, I'm not giving those things up, so why would I expect my husband to?  It's not healthy to have a marriage and lose all connection to other people on the planet, and no matter how much you love someone, who wants to spend all their waking moments with one person?  Not to mention that I plan on getting married when I'm still relatively young so my friends will still be around and ready to spend some quality time with me, without the husband/boyfriend in tow.

6 - if you're taking care of the stain then why do I care where it came from?  And I think the phone call thing is just different perspectives.  Girls like to talk about their phone calls, mostly cause they like to talk so we probably just assume men do as well.

7 - doesn't apply.

8 - I would hope that there would only be adjustments, I don't think you should lose yourself in a relationship.

9 - Shouldn't you want to share those things with your spouse?  Not to mention, most married couples I know have both shared and separate accounts.

10 - no point in responding.

11 - All you need to know is one good one for special occassions, or if you're planning on messing up all the time I suppose knowing a few more may be helpful to you.

12 - Are you planning on making her cry all the time?

Really, if I had those expectations of marriage from a female perspective I would say forget about it, I have more fun being single.  Marriage isn't a death sentence and if you look at it that way of course you're not going to want to consider it.  It's not the end of the road, it's just the beginning of a new chapter and you're hopefully lucky enough to start it with someone you truly love and care about.  Come on now boys, marriage isn't all a bed of roses, but it's no Iron Maiden either.

@Akolawole

Actually yes, my father is gay.  But as you put it, he's choosing not to live the lifestyle right now as he is with my mother and is and has always been faithful to her.  However, we have a fundamental disagreement on the idea of homosexuality which will make any discussion moot in the long run.  I don't believe that homosexuality is a choice.  I believe that living a homosexual lifestyle is a choice, I don't believe the actual feelings themselves are.  However, either way my point stands, hanging is certainly too severe and 5 years in prison seems ridiculous.  I am however, not a Nigerian, so perhaps you think my argument is invalid on those grounds alone. 

My comparison obviously fell short, so perhaps I shall try a better one.  Since you believe it is a choice, let me throw out some examples of other choices people make.  Someone who is overweight?  Someone who is dressed scantily on the streets?  All people who drive a certain make of car?  Those are all choices.  My point being, the whole idea of jailing homosexuals for 5 years is based on someone's dislike of their choice.  If you want to be all moral on it then all people who lie should also be jailed for the allotted amount of time.  I was just wondering as to where it is you feel the line should be drawn?  I believe this is a slippery slope for any nation to embark upon.  Infringing on the rights of homosexuals opens the door to infringe upon the rights of all other citizens.

I hold the belief, as supported by numerous studies on the subject, as well as my own personal experience as the child of a gay man, that children of homosexuals are no more likely to be homosexual than children of heterosexual parents. There are several studies that have shown systematically that children of homosexual parents in fact are more successful than children from heterosexual homes that have experienced divorce. In the US where divorce is so common, that's a startling statistic for most. The main point of difficulty for most children of homosexual parents is the social stigma that is attached by people like many of you have contributed to this discussion. You call it a disease and say that it's disgusting and wrong and that no one should be allowed to raise a child if they are homosexual. This will only serve to harm the children that you seem bent on protecting from the "evils" of homosexuality. You're not hurting the homosexual parents that already exist when you do those things, you're only hurting the children.

On another note, it is very possible for someone with homosexual feelings to have a desire to have children. My father had children with my mother because he wanted a family, even though he was gay. He was completely faithful to her. This doesn't change the fact however that there are also numerous studies that show the level of alcoholism, abuse, depression, and other difficulties are more dominant in homes where one of the parents is trying to ignore their homosexual feelings. If people were more open to the idea of homosexual couples adopting children/using surrogacy/IVF, the rate of couples who marry and then divorce on the grounds of homosexuality would dramatically decrease. A homosexual is the same as any other human being, they too have the desire to have children, whether biologically or not, they do in fact desire children I'm sure for the same basic reasons that most heterosexuals desire children.


Here's one of the articles:
Scandinavian Journal of Psychology
Vol. 43 Issue 4 Page 335 September 2002
Outcomes for children with lesbian or gay parents. A review of studies from 1978 to 2000
Norman Anderssen, Christine Amlie, Erling André Ytterøy

@Akolawole

I happen to have a family member is gay, even though I am not. Let's do a comparison of your suggestion. All gay people should be booted from Nigeria. Now although this comparison will fall pitifully short because I don't believe that homosexuality is a disease. Whom else would you like to boot from Nigeria? How about all none black individuals? How about all people with AIDS? How about people with sickle cell? And where do you propose to send those individuals? Are you going to ban them from the planet as well? And if your fear is that a gay man will attempt to ask you out, I must assure you that most gay men have impecible taste, and would therefore not bother with someone such as yourself.

What it comes down to is the violation of one of the most basic of human rights. If this path is continued, where will it end? Authorizing 5 years in prison for a consensual relationship is completely ridiculous. I fully support the organizations that are speaking up for the rights of all citizens. If they pass this law making it a crime to conduct a consensual relationship then it opens the door for the passage of laws further inhibiting the rights of all citizens. Discrimination at any level is a dangerous game to play. Gay and lesbian individuals are just as much citizens as any other person in Nigeria or any other country for that matter. Maybe I'm biased having lived in the US my whole life, but I thought that in this day and age we were working towards eliminating discrimination, not creating more.

I'd be glad to tell you all about them, but for the moment I've got a personal issue to deal with so it'll have to wait for a bit. No worries though, I'll attempt to explain as best I can at some point here.

@xkape

What exactly was your issue with my post in particular? Or did you fail to read the numerous other posts which outright argue against the Bible saying that homosexuality is wrong. And how can you say you don't judge or crucify and then say they have a disease?

t4cash:
I am not for/against homosexuality but Shannon, please that "people choose their lifestyle" is not debatable. It may be an easy or a difficult choice but its a choice.

And also may I add, i know gay people.

So you can choose to be homosexual if you want? You can just wake up one morning and say I'm going to choose to be gay from now on, and you'll suddenly be attracted to the same sex people around you instead of the opposite sex? I'm sorry to say it's not that easy. Maybe I should rephrase that statement, people do not choose who they are attracted to, they choose how they act upon those attractions. Honestly, I would much rather have someone realize that they have homosexual attractions and live a celibate life (if they're Christian) than have them try to pretend those attractions don't exist and marry/have children.

simmy:
Please read your bible in full before making arbritary statements ok? The new testament explains very clearly excactly how Christ amended the laws of the old testament. Nobody (at least i don't) grudges the homosexuals a right to live but i do take offence when they want to attend MY church and tell me to my face that MY God made them the way they are when He explicitly tells me in His book that He does not condone such a thing.

So what are you suggesting? If I follow this line of thinking then someone who comes in to your church and is a closet homosexual will be ok with you? I've had in depth discussions with my brother, a minister, about the whole concept of homosexuality and what his response to it was. His statements were, "I believe that some people are born that way, but I believe that it may be a manifestation of sins from past generations." So yes, I wholeheartedly believe some people are born that way, which would mean that yes, God made them that way. Do I believe they should practice? No, they should lead celibate lives if they are Christians, if they are not Christians then they can do what they want because they don't follow the same moral code. We all have things that we must struggle to overcome in this life because we are human and we are weak (ie alcoholism, drug abuse, medical problems, physical/emotional abuse).

And last time I checked there aren't many gay people who would willingly go to church and tell someone God made them that way, mostly because they would probably be killed for voicing that belief. Oh, and the comment about Leviticus was directed at the people who seem to be using that passage as the only basis for their argument. If you want to base an entire argument on the Bible, I'm sure you can find more useful passages than that one which is surrounded by plenty of other rules we don't follow anymore.

I have a problem with the fact that people keep saying that this boy was blaming his "gayness" on God. I don't think most people see it as laying BLAME on God. I think they are doing what the rest of us do, which is attributing their creation in general to God. Honestly, how many people who have commented actually know someone who is gay? And do you know the consequences of trying to keep that hidden from the rest of the world?

I have done extensive research on the consequences of those men/women who attempt to lead a heterosexual lifestyle while still having homosexual feelings. In the majority of cases the homosexuals who attempt to lead a straight lifestyle and even get married and/or have children have numerous issues. Those include abusive behaviors towards the spouse/children and alcohol/drug abuse. Asking a homosexual to ignore their feelings like it's some kind of bad habit is the same as asking a heterosexual to ignore their feelings and live a homosexual lifestyle.

And please, as a Christian I'm asking you, stop taking Leviticus out of context. If you must condemn the sins listed in Leviticus then I would suggest that you list all of the sins, that includes eating any sort of pork product, and ladies have you looked at the list of rules about how to deal with menstruation? If you're not reading the whole book and following every rule explicitly I really don't feel you have the right to throw that one small portion in someone's face. It seems to me that homosexuality is harped on because it makes people uncomfortable. It's listed in Leviticus, I don't contend that it's not listed as a sin, but I do protest the fact that you think that people choose this lifestyle. Do you know how difficult it is to live as a homosexual, even in someplace as "liberal" as the US?

Ono, I must ask if you have ever been in an abusive relationship before? I've heard too many stories and watched too many men find any excuse to act in an abusive manner to their wife or children. Some men will beat their wives whether the slight is real or simply perceived. And for many women there is no "light at the end of the tunnel." There is a reason that here in the US there are shelters that women can go to in order to escape abuse and there are organizations that will help women completely change their identities in order to escape their husbands. Too many women have been killed by abusive husbands to simply tell women to fix themselves so that their husband doesn't have a reason to beat them. Who said that any of these husbands had a valid reason to beat their wives to begin with? There is no excuse for abusing another human being, whether they see the issue as minor or major. If they would be offended by the idea of their wife beating them every time they forgot to take the garbage out then maybe they should think twice about smacking her around as well.

@Babymine

He may not have intended to be deceptive, he may have just not known. Many people who are gay live in denial for years, even decades. Many of them truly try to live a heterosexual lifestyle in order to meet societal standards or in order to have a family. I don't believe that they are purposely being deceptive, they are simply trying to live life as society would have them live it.

The only situation where I've heard of this being popular is if the wife already has an established career that involves dealing with many different people. Other than that everyone I know has gone the traditional route after marriage. My mother and sister both took their maiden names as their middle names when they married. If you feel the need to maintain some connection to your former surname I would think that would be a better bet than dealing with hyphenations and whatnot.

@Seun

I get your point and although I love a good debate, it's 1:30 in the morning here and I'm going to bed so I can go to church in the morning (I know, another thing that causes unnecessary separation between people, but I do love church ) Just the same, I see what you're saying and that's all good.