₦airaland Forum

Pastor!!!!!!!!

You have finally confessed that we women are just too much!!
Anyway, we join you in thanksgiving to the MOST HIGH for HIS mercies. May he HE continue to shower us with them. I wish your family all the best. It looks like your baby was saying ''daddy''.

All the best, many more blessings for you and yours. Please, prepare the hot peppersoup very well with alot of dryfish. Dont let her sit in very hot water. Give this to the baby for me .

praxx:
too formulated to be true.
1st you said you are not Nigerian but your log in id says otherwise.
2nd your topic sounds like you were reporting a story, now its you and finally my advice to you is PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH.
Marriage is a very serious issue which is ordained by GOD.so let us not be in a hurry to fabricate stories in order to make the thread interesting cause with thy mouth you bring forth CURSES OR BLESSINGS

hOW DO YOU KNOW THIS FOR SURE? When my story was told on this same site people opened their mouth saying all sorts of rubbish about how i should sell the story to Nigerian movie makers. YOu were asked for an advice not to do the work of scotland yard dectectives!!! This lady is going through a rough time and all you can say is that she has formulated her story. You think everyone has all the time to sit down and entertain you


@ poster,
Marriage is a long long long walk. I have found myself in positions where i thought i would leave the marriage at the drop of a heart. Believe me my dear sister, you can forgive that man you call your husband. I am heavily pregnant now and my husband cheated on me. I closed my mind to the marriage, but by the time i churned things over, i thougth otherwise. Just read my story on this same family section. I went through hell, saw the devil and came back. I thought it was all over, and that the dark days had gone by. I did not know that there was more waiting for me. I am expecting my 1st baby in 3months, i have a pregnancy induced hypertension. My husband's mobile rang and i picked up a lady said ''honi that was so hot''. My husband had just returned home from ''work''. what would you do if you were in my shoes Tolerance my sister. Be patient with him. sleep in the same bed, have shower together.It is heart breaking. The next day after that call, i had a shower with my husband, and he touched my tummy , we played and joked till he left for work. I never mentioned a word of it to him. Only yesterday, he was late in coming home. I rang the hospital where he works, and was told he left over 2hrs ago. He walked in like 1 hr later and said he just left the hospital.

My dear, cool temper oh!!! Think of your son. He will need his father's presence in his early development. Dont deprive him of it. There is nothing we women cannot walk around. While going through all these, just know that millions of women are going throught worse things in their homes. I am not saying to reduce yourself to a slave in your marital home, but dont just walk away. You are stronger than that.

ONE LOVE

@orexjoe

No it is not mandatory. I know a couple of people who paid just £1000 and were given the visa. One even had dependants with him. The thing is just make sure your sposor has enough money and there is a regular inflow of cash into that account. You know what I mean, something like salaries,monies from shares etc. My neigbour here in London, her cousin paid the full course fee os £12,500 and was still refused.

I wish you all the best.

D-reloaded did you travel? It's been such  a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg time dearie.

LEILAH
please don't mind these nairaland guys and babes. I will be blunt here.I know what you are trying to do.I hope you are not a racist? I think i have seen this type of thing and i know what you are getting at. Where do you reside dear? You could go get an AK47 and give it to your'' brute of a husband'' as a val gift. he knows what to do with it.

now just stop this thing you are doing. We are not interested anymore.you are saying all this because your husband is a Nigerian.If he were irish just like you are and doing this,will you be giving us such colourful details? No you will not do that. if he chokes you and you can't choke him back for any reason,please call the police.  What will he do if he knows you are in a forum? Flog you with a horsewhip? I know what you are getting at. You should stop it at once. I'm now annoyed

Mine will be Gov.Alams-former governor of Bayelsa in 9ja.


My hubby is my celebrity,so i'll be with him.

Poster are you gay? That is the only option that explains the rubbish you have posted.Anyway,everyone has basically said it. Like i told you in your other immature thread,you are probably still a little boy(under 15). Unless you are gay,you just bear in that little mind of your,that youe wife and daughters will also be ONLY good for sex and nothing more. Did you hear me dear? I said NOTHING MORE. You must let your brain boot before you think of silly stuff like this. Did you drop from the sky? Is it not a woman that gave birth to you? If she had not given birth to you,would you have been on nairaland posting this trash?


@ amsky
You're not online today? pls check you gmail now now.

Leilah, are you trying to portray your nigerian husband as a brute or is he really that way?
I read of anal sex last week now this.

You are here in the UK you may want to alert the cops if you are telling the truth. Nairaland cannot do that for you.

Pls,leave this guy if you cannot put up with him.I'm pretty sure you know what to do.I think people are tired of hearing colourful details of your ''Nigerian husband''s artrocities. Please keep them to yourself.
cheers.

@ kaestro
thanx so much too.You see, when life throws things at you,you never know how strong you are till you come out of it as strong as steel. This has taught me things about myself. After all the pain and tears, i now see life differently.Amsky is more than a cousin to me.I never knew she'll take my problems and make them hers too. I thank my Maker it's all over now. the lesson is an unforgetable one for me. I hope people have learnt for themselves too. Thank you Kaestro.

I'm so happy to get such great tips from all of you. This is an oppurtuinity of a life time and we intend to grab it.

thanks a bunch.Presently,we are in the Uk and the tax is killing us slowly.My hubby is a medical doctor and is preparing for exams-he'll be a surgeon soon by God's Grace. We heard from a few people that Vancouver was great,but housing is a bit on the high side,and things are remarkably expensive.

@ ezinwannem

How is Toronto?is the weather okay too,or is it worse? how about accommodation and schools for children(i intend to start a family soon). Most importantly how is the crime rate? I'd really like to know what Toronto is like,i've heard so much about it.

@uspry1
thanks so much for your advice.i'll get to work at once.I never even thought i could do that.I've logged on to the Vancouver.com and i love what i see. I'll get in touch with them at once.

@mikkyangel
thankyou. I will raise my kids over there as well.What's so good about the Polish education? Canada is better than Uk. About 6 couple we know here,three of them british have left for Canada.that was when we decided to give it a shot,and it came through.

thanx everyone,i appreciate it.

okay,i'm calm, so what do you want from me?

I also need help as you can see. I'm asking people for advice too.

Let me know what you want to know.I just may be able to help you somehow.when i say ''help'', i dont mean giving you my papers to enable you get a visa,or inviting you to put up in my house.

so how may i help ,mr.Twista

In my own case,my husband does that.However,there it's not such a big deal if i pay.
I've paid BT bills for like 3months in a row and i got a big thank you in all three case.So it does not really matter,as long as the bills get paid.

@d1twista

So what do you mean? I asked for suggestions and advice and not someone asking me to help him come over to UK!!!!! If you want to come here for you studies,all well and good,but pls do not involve me.

If you have no true links,then pls,getting a visa will be a bit tough.So think again about that. If i knew you,i'd have been of immense help. meeting someone on nairaland and helping him/her come over is a death wish.

Have a good morning.

Hello people,
My husband and i have been granted a canadian immigrant visa. Well,we are really not familiar with the place.I've never been there,but my husband has been there once.

I'll like candid suggestions on housing,job oppurtuinities etc. What's the crime rate like? Is it better than the UK?
We are looking at Vancouver,BC.We hear the weather is fair enough.

I'm looking forward to replies and people's personal experiences in Canada will help a great deal.

Cheers

yyeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

Saw everyone's posts.thank you all.D-reloaded. you bet i need JESUS.i'm trying to know Him more. i did not run away,was just taking things slow. I'm back to work tomorrow. i didn't even know guys were still posting here. i love you all!!! .

mightlove,thank goodness your sister is okay now.she'll be the stronger for it.just like i am now. My life is getting back on track,so lets all move on and learn the lessons life teaches.
kiss kiss

thank you d_oracle. this goes on in most places in nigeria.my mother was a victim too.i am the fourth of 5 kids,all girls(women now though~).it was a lot of hell growing up seeing my mother the way we did. my dad died when i was 18yrs old in a car crash.that was when i saw the other side of his people and what he was protecting us from.

i used to see my father quarell and storm out of family meetings when we go to the village for one thing or the other.i got to know that his people were always asking him to get another wife,and threatening hail and brimstome if he didn't. He sttod by my mother all along.they even tried to poison us.

when my father died,they said my eldest sister should have a baby with a man in our village.that was the last straw. my mother did all she could to get us out of the country as fast as possible.
it does not matter.children are children be they girls or boys. It is what we NEED to experience that will be given to us,not what we WANT.

so guys,let your wives be okay.girls boys,they are all humanbeings and deserved to be loved and cared for.

okay it looks like things have now come to a head here.


i really have nothing to prove to anyone here.the reasons given are unbelievable.you must be feeling like the scotland yard guys now.i am past caring now.my name is Cynthia Nnedimma Duke(nee OBILONU). as for amsky, i cannot give her full name here cos i do not have the permission to do that. you can also get my YIM here if you care to chat with me.

i-man if you care to know,i do not exactly pay particular attention to syntax in such an informal setting. even if i have a less demanding job,i cant say same of amsky.so i dont believe we have both come here to amuse you all.i have come to trust alot of you guys here even though we have never met.this is the reason why i bore my heart out and spoke like i did. i would have stated my office address here and maybe phone num for people like richy and i-man,but i'll hang on because like i said,i have nothing to proove.allthe same,i thank everyone who has attempted to make this burden a lighter on to bear.i really appreciate it, but there is no need to rubbish the whole thing by insinuating that my family and i are a jobless lot.

hello guy/girls. you all know me now don't you.my wife told me all about nairaland.i tried to register but the stuff wasn't coming up.
i am overwhelmed to know that such a websit exists here.this will make me closer to nigerians.i'm a bit busy now,so i may not get online as often as 'shapey' would.i wonder how she thot up that name.

anyway,the nightmare is over.i have my darling back.reading all her posts,i relived what she went through with alot of guilt and pain.guilt because i know i should have done more to protect her;but i was also thinking of not hurting anyone.that obviously did not work out.what that did was to push my wife further away from me and giving my family the nerves to torture her emotionally.when she said to me' you hurt me deeply',i never knew how deep she was hurting. i was going through a horrible period in my life-my mother's death,my exams were drawing close and then my family was tearing my wife apart.

when she left me during the burial,my whole world crumbled.i thought i had lost her.this was aggraveted by the fact that her mother and her family had thought i was not able to protect my wife.there is no worse feeling than that.our marriage is relatively young,we are a young couple too-27 and 30yrs respectively;so i guess this is part of the growing process.
she pointed out what she feels she did wrong eg like laughing,going to work the day after etc.i was also at fault-i should even take a great part of the blame.
i could go on and on,but my people,i'm so happy to have my angel back,and that's thanks to some of you guys right here.
to those guys who think i'm a weakling:it's not an easy place to find yourself.you are torn between the woman you love dearly and then your family who have until some point been good to you. it's a very difficult position believe me.there are some guys or girls whose posts made me happy-richyblack,sweet t,joshjosh,D-reloaded,adeboo,D D,and so many more.you guys are geniuses.i'll try to be here at least once a week when i have a bit of time to play around.

okay guys gotta run-my angel is back with me,though not fully(she's still making alot of efizi).but she'd back-that's all that matters.

hi people.d-reloaded what's going on?why are you on joshjosh's neck like this now eh.
pls chill out.

okay guys,i've been with my husband all through the day-we are still a bit like strangers.you know just like we are getting to know each toher again.the sister knows about the restraining order.her brother told her and she was speechless.we'll be going back home tomorrow.we are still in my cousin's place-no food in my house.
we have also decided to start trying for babies-just one anyway. . i'm looking forward to a new beginning,and you guys on nairaland will also take credit for that.i would never have done it without you.i've introduced my hubby to this site,and when he's got the time,he'll visit.

amsky has done alot for me in the past ffew weeks.she has done more that i could ever imagine.herself and her husband are the rock that i can always lean on.i dont know what i'll do to show her how grateful i am.

hello everyone.i've read the posts.and they all made sense to me.
my husband had to do an about turn when he heard of his sister's latest drama.he came back,we went to the house together and sorted out his sister's stuff.it's now in storage.
her monetary claims are a gigantic lie.where did she get the 8k from to loan my husband and i?i cant help laughing at this point.anyway,like i said earlier,experience teaches.

joshjosh are you married?when you do-if you're not-she'll be so lucky.my husband has alerted the cops about his sister's threats.she sent me an e-mail saying she'll deal with me and that my parents will search for me.she has been asked by the cops to''pop in and have a chat with us''.
i do not know now if there'll be any such thing as a restraining order,but since the police are aware,she'll be wary of doing anything against the law.
when that is handled,then i'll be heading back home,hoping to continue with my hitherto peaceful life.

joshjosh goodmorning to you.how can this be your last post i'll take that as a joke anyway.
thankyou everyone,there's alot to learn on nairaland.okay,my husband was here last night,and we talked for long hours-into the night.it was a very emotional one for me. right now i think i'm falling ill-stress and all that.
we talked about everything that went on from the day we got the message to date.i have never seen my husband that way.he looked like the whole world was on him.he said he was sorry and that he had learnt his lesson.he felt he could handle the situation without anyone being hurt,but that blew up in his face.we managed a very close and warm hug.he seemed to understand that just needed a little more time.
about 20mins after he left for work,someone buzzed, it was his sister.my cousin refused to open the door.she said she wanted the key to our house so she could move her things out.she said''pls tell that slot to get me the key to my brother's house'' apparently she came on the night flight cos i could see her stuff down there.

my cousin called my husband and asked him to come and uproot his sister from her steps or she was going to call the police.i just sat there crying.how can this girl follow me after all the trauma she had caused me.at this point,my cousin's hubby got bk from taking the little boy to school and met her standing there.he asked her to get out.she said ''this is none of your business.you just get that bastard my brother married out here to give me the keys to the house''.amsky was talking to her husband through the buzzer to come in.
she stood there for a while and left.that is where i am now.no peace whatsoever.i'm trying to take it in my stride.despite all these,i still love my husband so much.his sister is just determined to frustrate me out of my home.i dont get why she should call me such names.there is one thing that makes me happy, she'll eat of the dish she's serving me in some time soon.she's 26,and will marry in the near future.then she'll be sorry.

hey guys,thank you so much.i cant imagine the support one can get from people you do not know.returned last night,and i'm currently enjoying my cousin's hospitality.i have seen and read everyone's post.
i'm trying to give a true picture of events here.when i think i've erred,i say it without mincing words.my mom in laws sister came with a cane richyblack-a whip.what we'll call koboko back home.i saw it for a split second.my husband saw it too,and was calling me to come and greet the person holding the cane.
i'll not like to go over that ugly experience.i'm already having a hard time forgetting it.when i think of it,i just feel sooooo bitter,so bitter that i nurse thoughts of leaving my husband and forgetting about anything that has to do with any man on this earth.i regret the day i encouraged my hubby to let his sister be with us.looking back now,that is the worse mistake i've made in my life.if not for all the lies she told her brother about me,he'd have easily forgotten that i ever laughed when we listened to the message.but there is just one thing i find very difficult to get and that is the fact that my husband will believe his sister over me,and not call his people to order when they were toturing me.i do not understand it.

i'm still in pain,but i know that by HIS GRACE,i'll come through.he is on his way back,but i'll not move in with him just yet.i'll like to sought myself out,we'll talk heart to heart and from there,we'll know the way forward.
if not for my mother who danmed all consequences and stuck her neck out for me,they'd have done horrible things to me.

@floxyrangy  if this is what you call enjoyment,then my dear,i have no words for you.the fact that you do not know me in person does not mean that you should rejoice when the next person is going through this sort of painful experience.i have not come here to entertain anyone with my experience,or make myself a laughing stock.when we share experiences,we learn from them.we also learn from people's candid advice and opinions.apart from my cousin and her husband,my immediate family,i must say i have drawn strength from the words of many in this forum.  floxyrangy,you may want to check yourself before making such hurtful comments.

thank you joshjosh.that video made my morning.

joshjosh thanks so much.there is more to it indeed.my husband's family did not approve of his getting married to me cos i was not from his place.being an only son out of 3 children,his parents fought tooth and nail to ensure that he changed his mind.he did not listen to them and went ahead i broke up with him because of it.i did not want a situation where i'll be the cause of 'katakata' in his family.when he put his foot down,the battle line was drawn.his younger sis was so sweet at first but with the recent happenings,i now know it was all a huge lie.she just wanted to avoid paying bills,rent and tax.
their first excuse was-pls finish you internship b4 you get married.they siad that hoping he'll ditch me by the end of it but he did not and the hatred got deeper.so this is were it has landed me today.

hi people.its like a breath of fresh air to be out here.i see that my cousin has let you in a bit on the goings on before and during the burial.right now i'm totally broken.my elder sister is a pillar,but for her,i'd havve been dead and gone at this time.
amsky gave a picture of what transpired there.it was hell for me,i tell you.the eldest man in the family summoned me after my sis in law had heaped all sorts of lies against me. eg-i refused to get pregnant because i wanted my husband to be the last person in their lineage,that i said i was coming for the burial to know if my mom inlaw had really died as it was too good to be true,that i said i was going to fight my husband's elder sister and alot of other things.she also said i was cheating on my husband.my hubby's elder sister came to me on friday night-wake keeping -and said'madam i've been waiting for you to come and slap me o'.i was at a loss.the little one who used to live with me now said-see her singing choruses like an angel nobody will ever know she is a little LovePeddler.in shock i asked her-what have i ever done to you ?i looked around for my husband but i did n't see him.my sister froma distance saw the confrontation and rushed down.i told her what went on.when my mother heard,she went mad,saying that she was going to handle it her way.the singing was still going on,i went back to the bedroom because i was so scared for my dear life-i do not understand efik mind you,and everyone looked at me like i was the devil himself.a short while l8r,i heard a lady saying in english'where is she?please bring her out here let me thrash her thoroughly like a criminal'.my hubby now walks in and says'ehm please come and greet my mom's sister'.mind you this mom's sister was the 1 saying she wanted to flog me.the next thing i know my mom and sister come in with my mom shouting at everyone in english-have i commited an abomination giving my child to you in marriage?she turned to my hubby and told him how ashamed she was of him,and he was not able to stand for his wife, my sister was already throwing my things into the box.i cried and cried like a baby.
they all forgot the burial and i was now the talk of the town.his elder sister was saying i had to explain why i said i would knock her teeth out.at that point,i heard my husband saying he'll not attend the burial and he was going to cut all ties with them bla bla bla.my mom told him he should not even bother because when he'd have handled it,he was busy calling me to come out and greet them.
we went to a hotel,and sleep eluded me.the lexotan my mom gave to me did not work,because i was wide awake crying my eyes out till it was time for the service.
on the day of the burial,i went for the service from the hotel with my sis and mom.my husband made frantic efforts to reach me,but did not succeed.he saw me during the lying instate and held my hand.i saw tears in his eyes,but me i was so hurt,i just pulled my hand away and stood in the corner.his elder sister came and said to me'oh!queen of england are you here to laugh at us?i thought you went back to london yesterday'.i had to pull my mom out to avoid another show down.i sat with my husband in front at the service,and i could tell he was not concentrating.he kept stealing glances at me,and trying to talk to me.
when it was time to carry the body out of the church,i went with him,and he did the dust to dust thing.when his sister was asked to perform hers,she said 'o my darling mom all those who rejoiced at your misfortune will surely meet theirs soon'.it does not take rocket science to know she was refering to me.alot of comments like-if only this woman who she welcomed into her home(me)had let her see her grandchildren. etc etc.
after the grave was covered my mother said 'oya let's get going.'i told my husband i was leaving.and he started begging me to stay.before i could say anything my mom said'' she's not staying here.you heard your sister.i don't want my daughter to meet with her misfortune very soon.i cannot guaratee that you can take care and protect her,so she's getting on a flight to lagos with me.i looked into my husband's eyes and i almost cried.infact i did.i told her i wanted a few minutes with him.he asked me if i had to go.honestly,i did not feel safe even with him there,and i told him that much.he asked me to stay that' we'd go to a hotel that evening.i told him i had to get away. he said he really needed me and that i should stay.i replied that i'd want to be with him,but i did not feel safe with everyone thinking i was a witch.i had to go.i did not want to leave him but i had to.i felt betrayed by him,and truthfully,i did not want him by my side just then.
that was how i left to lagos,and i'm waiting for a call from virgin atlantic that will decide if i'm leaving for london tomorrow or not.i've been talking with my husband but i don't know if i want to be with him just yet.i feel let down and betrayed.don't get me wrong please my friends.i love him so much-i still do nothing will change that-but for now,i'll want to be on my own for a while to sort things out for myself.i've gone through alot these past weeks and i need to gradually heal.i told him i'll like some space to ymself.it kills me to think even for a minute that this may be it for our marriage,but i'd like to face reality-that will help me alot.i'm 27,been married for 1yr and 4mths and now this.
my cousin has not minced words in telling me that once my husband knocks on her door,she'll fling it open to him.i'll be in her place till i get on my feet again.i'm shattered and my psyche is in a mess,so i need time to myself.
as for my sister in law,my good deeds towards her will stand against her.i don't want to attribute this to the fact that my hubby is not from the same tribe as me.my cousin is married to an ibibio man and they are having the time of their lives.my husband is a good guy too but he has betrayed me to the last bit.

i have to seriously do some soul searching now.when people say a woman is battered i now know first hand that it not only involves physical battry.after all i went through begging to be forgiven before we left for the burial,now this.i wonder when life will stop throwing these  things at me.
goodnite everyone.i am so grateful.

hello people.its almost 12midnight and i had to come out with my husband to send some mails to a few people.its so amazing how many guys do this overnight browsing thing.
thank you to everyone who has lent an ear or do i say an eye to my post.but honestly,things are turning a bit ugly over here for me.i have been hearing alot of rude side remarks directed at me.stuff like 'the sons wife never allowed her reap the fruit of her labour'. and all sorts of hurtful things.some of them are nice,others are just something else.my sister in law does not even respond to my greeting anymore.last night she was in the sitting room with her cousin and they were speaking efik.the next thing i heard was the cousin singing to my hearing-''holy ghost fire pursue them,all those that will put hatred and darkness in our family,pursue them,if possible break their legs''.i sat there for a while and then left to bemoan my fate on my own.it's not too good when your in laws speak a different language o.you'll hear nwi like me here.
my mother is coming,my sister is here from the us and is keeping me company.i told her not to speak our language at all,so they'll not think we are talking about them.my own type of igbo if we speak it, you'll think we are consulting a big oracle for you.
anyway,things are not going on as well as i anticipated.i hope it does not get worse.if it does get worse than this,i wont know what to do.my husband has been trying to put my mind at ease but it's not working.the few people who welcomed me warmly the first day we got here changed their warm attitude later.i am not hallucinating.
i may not be able to browse again before the burial on saturday,nor before i heard back to the uk on wednesday.
thank you everyone.i love you all.

okay now let's check it out

half tub of strawberry shortcake icecream
5 eggs
2 apples
a pack of litchi juice
half loaf of wheatbread
3/4 tub of uterly butterly
ribs
3 bottles of vittel water
carrots and cucumber

no soup or tomato stew, getting ready to cook.

why have we all left chiege alisigwe out of this list?she is closely following stephnie okereke. steph is the ring leader-the kingpin of fake accents.she's not such a brilliant actress too.

is this acid guy okay this far better than your rock dry jokes at least, or am i missing something?