₦airaland Forum

The story na photoshop

He has been redeployed to serve in Nigeria.What's ur take on dis?

He did an advert for etisalat and dey paid him off,this is not like football contract oh,anybody can use a model if he is not into any contract and all dis person sayin saka bleeped up,if na dem,with money,dem go do pass saka

Same wif me cos na unlimited sure pass for 1500 per month

Na wa oh,na only saka dey use network for nigeria?




FOR ME TO STAY WITH ARSENAL SINCE 2004 TILL DATE,DEN I CAN AS WELL STAY WITH MTN SINCE 2005 TILL ETERNITY.

I can only shave my hairs on dat place with 15m

At least 185 persons including women and children were reported to have been killed by either gunshots or fire after suspected Boko Haram gunmen engaged soldiers of the Joint Task Force in a deadly shootout that left the commercial border town of Baga in Borno State completely burnt down.




Local government officials, who spoke to PREMIUM TIMES, said 185 persons died, at least 2000 houses, 64 motorcycles and 40 cars were burnt in the wake of the attack.

The Borno State Governor, Kashim Shettima, visited the town on Sunday and was told by residents that soldiers were responsible for the torching of houses that led to the death of many.

PREMIUM TIMES gathered that scores of others are currently hospitalised with various shades of burnt injuries.

Residents said most casualties, especially the aged ones and children, died as a result of the conflagration that engulfed the entire town.

Governor Kashim Shettima, who visited the town on Sunday, became emotionally drenched at the sight of charred houses,vehicles and how homeless residents took refuge in the bush.

The Commander of the Task Force, Brigadier General Austin Edokpaye, explained that the fire that consumed the town and resultant deaths should be blamed on the Boko Haram terrorists who opened fire on soldiers while hiding in the mix of civilians.

A local trader in Baga told PREMIUM TIMES that the attack started at about 8 p.m. on Friday and was continued the next day.

“Only God can understand what we have done to deserve this. But the soldiers were mindless that night in their approach; they killed and burnt our houses, chased everyone into the bush including women and children. So far we have buried 185 corpses. – some were burnt beyond recognition; others are hospitalised with various degrees of burnt,” said the resident who begged to remain anonymous.

Governor Shettima who drove through the burnt town amidst heavy motorcade of security personnel condemned the incident which he said was a ‘nasty occurrence’.

At the town’s hospital, the governor had to commiserate with women, children and aged men receiving treatment for various degrees of burnt caused by the fire.

Bashir Isa, a grocery merchant, told PREMIUM TIMES that “everyone has been in the bush since Friday night; we started returning back to town because the governor came to town today.

“To get food to eat in the town now is a problem because even the markets are burnt. We are still picking corpses of women and children in the bush and creeks.”

Brigadier General Edokpaye denied allegations by residents that the shootout was unprovoked.

“We lost an officer during the attack on our men on patrol. We’ve received an intelligence that some suspected Boko Haram members usually pray and hide arms at a particular mosque in town. It was around that mosque that our men were attacked with several of them injured and an officer died.

“When we reinforced and returned to the scene, the terrorists came out with heavy firepower including RPGs which usually has a conflagration effect,” the army chief said.

Governor Shettima pleaded with fleeing residents to return to their burnt homes as a committee had been empannelled to provide a palliative compensation for the loss they suffered.

He also called on the commander to “take full charge” of his operation and ensure he personally supervises his field officers from time to time “in order to avert such nasty incidences in the future.”

MODS,FRONT PAGE PLS

pc guru: Just let me receive a gift from a babe, and lemme see if my girlfriend will tell me to return it. if the roles were reversed, dudes would be justifying it. some gifts are just harmless with no intention, stop being paranoid. but at the same time check out who the dude is, just to be sure. cuz me no trust Naija babes and dudes.

The best ansa ever since,let's take it as if a boy d fone from anoder normal girlfrnd

deinma afie: sad story. But how do you know he stabbed himself 3times. The person who gave such information should be questioned.

The marks are there na

Residents of Wole Madariola Street, Aguda, Surulere, Lagos have been asking questions about what pushed Chidike Oyeka, a graduate of Madonna University, Anambra, to stab himself repeatedly thereby taking his own life.

@sheedy407 learnt that the Chidike on April 19, 2013, took a kitchen knife and stabbed himself repeatedly until his intestines were disembowelled.

Our correspondent, who visited his parents’ home where the incident occurred, learnt that the victim recently concluded his National Youth Service Corps programme.

A relative, who wished to remain anonymous, said the 25-year-old had been depressed for some time.

She said, “He did his NYSC in Delta State and only returned in February. Upon returning, he started to act strangely and we noticed that he was no longer sociable. Most times he would sit at a corner by himself and when we asked him what was wrong, he would say he was not happy.

“When the symptom became persistent, his parents took him to a hospital but nothing was discovered to be wrong with him, so we took him back home and continued to monitor him.”

Narrating what transpired on the day the victim died, the relative said it happened after everyone had gone to sleep.

She said he went into the kitchen, took a kitchen knife and stabbed himself three times.

She said, “I do not know the time it happened exactly but everyone had gone to bed while he stayed in the parlour. Around midnight, he was found lying in a pool of blood and the knife soaked in blood.

“His intestines were on the floor as well. From what we deduced, he stabbed himself three times without screaming because no one heard any noise. At daybreak, we went to Aguda Police Station to report the matter.”

A neighbour, who craved anonymity, said the deceased had once complained that one of the reasons why he was unhappy was that he was unemployed.

He said people advised him to be patient since he had only just completed his NYSC.

Our correspondent, who visited the parents’ home on Sunday, saw residents coming in droves to console the family particularly the victim’s mother.

Another resident, while consoling the deceased’s parents, said the family should have taken him to see a psychologist instead of a general medical practitioner when he complained of depression.

Mrs. Oyeka however said the circumstance surrounding her son’s death was metaphysical. She said she had left the matter to God but was pained that all her struggles to bring up her son were in vain.

“He was my first born and we did all to make him happy but sadly he took his own life. We counseled him on numerous occasions but this did not prevent him from committing suicide.

“I do not think someone can stab himself to death except he is under spell. I leave everything to God because He knows best.”

It was learnt that the deceased would be buried on Thursday.
Pls discard the rumor related to his mission caused by his result.
Mr Gbonshewo Network

Residents of Wole Madariola Street, Aguda, Surulere, Lagos have been asking questions about what pushed Chidike Oyeka, a graduate of Madonna University, Anambra, to stab himself repeatedly thereby taking his own life.

@sheedy407 learnt that the Chidike on April 19, 2013, took a kitchen knife and stabbed himself repeatedly until his intestines were disembowelled.

Our correspondent, who visited his parents’ home where the incident occurred, learnt that the victim recently concluded his National Youth Service Corps programme.

A relative, who wished to remain anonymous, said the 25-year-old had been depressed for some time.

She said, “He did his NYSC in Delta State and only returned in February. Upon returning, he started to act strangely and we noticed that he was no longer sociable. Most times he would sit at a corner by himself and when we asked him what was wrong, he would say he was not happy.

“When the symptom became persistent, his parents took him to a hospital but nothing was discovered to be wrong with him, so we took him back home and continued to monitor him.”

Narrating what transpired on the day the victim died, the relative said it happened after everyone had gone to sleep.

She said he went into the kitchen, took a kitchen knife and stabbed himself three times.

She said, “I do not know the time it happened exactly but everyone had gone to bed while he stayed in the parlour. Around midnight, he was found lying in a pool of blood and the knife soaked in blood.

“His intestines were on the floor as well. From what we deduced, he stabbed himself three times without screaming because no one heard any noise. At daybreak, we went to Aguda Police Station to report the matter.”

A neighbour, who craved anonymity, said the deceased had once complained that one of the reasons why he was unhappy was that he was unemployed.

He said people advised him to be patient since he had only just completed his NYSC.

Our correspondent, who visited the parents’ home on Sunday, saw residents coming in droves to console the family particularly the victim’s mother.

Another resident, while consoling the deceased’s parents, said the family should have taken him to see a psychologist instead of a general medical practitioner when he complained of depression.

Mrs. Oyeka however said the circumstance surrounding her son’s death was metaphysical. She said she had left the matter to God but was pained that all her struggles to bring up her son were in vain.

“He was my first born and we did all to make him happy but sadly he took his own life. We counseled him on numerous occasions but this did not prevent him from committing suicide.

“I do not think someone can stab himself to death except he is under spell. I leave everything to God because He knows best.”

It was learnt that the deceased would be buried on Thursday.

Now, children are beginning to do what is not supposed to be done or talked about at their age, but the blame I don’t feel should be put on them, cause most of them is from peer pressure, seeing it too much in their daily lives that they now think its normal and so many other things.




It was not long ago that we saw Two Students Kíssing In Class, i guess that one was only a little. Here these two secondary school students are doing it in the forest within their school.

Who is to be Blame? Someone said the Nigerian Movie Industry [Nollywood] is Causing more Damages than good!!!!

in your Own Opinion what do you think can be done about this? This is the 4th Report of Such Happening this Year.

livethinme: lol Naija dey export Religion
Well done ooo

Imagine, even deputy president attend...

Since crude oil no dey bring money again,na to dey export religion remain na

08:18 Sun, 21 Apr 2013
Fellow Nairalanders, Advice me on this... My GF has been begging me for an iPhone for the past Few weeks and I told her to Relax because I can't afford one now..

Just Last night, She came to my House with a Brand New iPhone 5 white, She told me a Guy bought it for her..

Am afraid... Can this come as a Gift without anything attached? Am I Safe?

Nairalanders, Pls help!!!! If you're in my Shoe, What will you do??

@op,pls tell dat to ur sis

If your papa no marry your mama,u for get chance come dis world come dey post this nonsense for nairaland?stay reach 50yrs bfor u marry u hear.@OP

190: Go hug a moderately wet transformer

  Fstranger





Cut your post according to your own looks

iyatrustee




I did not remove my manliness after first round, I left it inside the kitty while it  soften and re rise again inside the kitty for second round continuation but the job is hard,it is called neatly done bleeping, no condom needed for this kind of bleep and all sperm must be pour deep because no removal of manliness for 2 rounds to be successfully and an attempt for 3 rounds would break your bone

  Born2fuck




he sort of got disoriented after being toasted by a certain nler.
i guess he was caught offguard since he's usually the one doing the chasing, not the other way round.

the lady was pretty direct and totally discombulated [is that a word?] him.

i no know say the man na fashin.

  Tpiah on 190




Name: Tpia Mumu
Age: 63
race: black

Physical Description:5'6, dark complexioned, gray haired wig but other wise bald with a few wisps/ strands and wears correction lenses.
(picture below)

Last seen leaving an Irish pub and believed to be hiding out in various internet cafes in the states.
The senior citizen escaped from "Hope for Cretins" retirement home in the UK
and suffers from post meno-pause like irritability, multiple personality disorder and
OldHag-onitis. She is known to frequent pubs, V0dka and H3nnessey being her favorite drinks.
When intoxicated is known to be aggressive so approach with caution!

Please call 1-8OO-GET-DHAG if you see her! There is a 600 sterlings/ $972 U.S. reward for her capture and return

  Mizdarkskin on tpia 





  I can swear on my life that boy is a yahoo yahoo boy

Reality101




I fell inside Gutter while Looking at nyash

born2fuck




Naija and superstition sha. Hmm, anyway, I love ghosts! Perhaps you could hook me up with a nice looking, 'yellow', and voluptuous one (just like 'wiliwili'). I'd like to see how a ghost reacts when it (or is it 'she') o'r'ga'sms.

  pro01



I was in the class watching indecency video and she was watching the indecency video on my phone with me while my manliness was rising badly.I have to pin it down in style but I think she noticed it  but she did not want to talk

born2fuck




Things wey dey happen 4 campus now-a-days ehn? Even Sodom & Gomorrah go accept say dem be amateurs!!!

yiboboy




Thank you jare 190. HER is not a dog.

xynerise





@sleekch1
what's yours nah, na me do you? NO.
Pls take your demonic spirit faaaar.
I beg of u, jooor o.

sunch




There was girl I bleeped twice in my school, although she was very strict, she is bootilicious and boobilicious Lepa girl, I did everything,lied, fake promise of about 20,000 naira and promise never to hurt her Until she finally let me bleep her, though I bleeped her two times but I was disappointing by her inability to sabbi bleep .her body na supper, I ran away after sex  and never fulfilled any of my promises to her and I did not even give her any money too, now,I have been thinking of her beautiful body, I am trying a way to bleep her the 3rd times since I have been missing such a beautiful body, Can any0ne help me with ideas I can use please. , guys only, I beg oooooooo000

born2fuck



I've once 4uckd a babe.When i startd wit her she was firstly giggling her waste,later she started trembling like one dat has an epilepsy, tearing my bed spread apart. Screaming, yeh, yeh, yeh, you go kill me o, you go kill me o. oooh thank u, o thank u, thank u, thank u. As i was gliding away, she was seriously sucking every part of my body,chest,shoulder&tearing me wit her fingers.I was really enjoying it tho. But after d show nko, see
my body

sunch       




I was relaxing in my house Jejeli and got a called from one of my girlfriend,she said she want to see me urgently and it is very important. she told me she is urgently in need of 4k for some reasons which I can't disclosed here. As she was talking, my eyes was on her bosoms while my manliness troubling my trousers. with all she narrated, I gave her 2k plus 500 transport cause she sure girl in term of offer for free option and I will not because of one small messing gas spoil my yansh, I told my  her, you cannot go like that and she replied Wale,I am in her worried, make we short  story off,I grab the backside ooo and then off to my bed. 

Make she off her cloth, she said Wale , no! no!! no!!!, she will only off her trouser and I will have to do it like that since she was in her hurry. as she off her trouser and the poo was I have forgot to buy condom

the girl vex and she claimed, it will be next time, me sef mad and I told her,we will do it like that but I won't release inside.

as I was bleeping, i was watching my release time and making me removing manliness in every suspected release,
na so she dey hold her bosom tight despite cloth on her body,she no even make my body torch her body and she was saying don't stain my cloth please

as I was about to release,I will remove my manliness and the tin go run back,  as the the tin dey finally they rush out, make I pour am for down ooo, na the girl body the tin land. Come see abuse from her mouth
She said, I know your heart is wicked and I tried to say sorry, I bust into laugh with sorry, come make matter worst

the next thing she said was you intentional did this,,ooh my God, I do not know why some people are silly, she said that to herself,Na him I begin look like mumu, I do not know what to do now because she have not even call to say thank you even though the money dey small.Na wetin I suppose do, call her or who is at fault

born2fuck




Sucking pooosie is the #1 factor for having BLACK LIPS

do you know the amount of HEAT thats been generated from that spot

An average lady generates 7383, 37378843, 376377 MHZ heat from her pooosie

enough to fry plantain and you go put your lips in there,

Surely dont be suprised when your lips become burnt and blackened 


count me out

190



bro you are still in Jamaica as I can see. Pls desist from this igbo smoking its bad for your health as I can see. Be strong!

mr.brownjay on 190



Bros one man meat na anoda man kilishi!

We go mourn the baby matter after, but what shall it profit a man if we loose the pikin still loose the snake meat untop.
Abeg drex back small make we see space arrange firewood,  Na banga soup this meat go fit, with starch and Guiness stout,

God knw say we no see the snake early, if not the pikin for follow chop,

Okija Juju

Na term paper or project?

Watin scarce pass for Nigeria now?
(A) VIRGIN
(B) EMPLOYMENT
(C) TRUE LOVE

Only the top private uni are der

Hello fellow nairalanders,I just open a with my bold 5 and I have tried to post tru d same fone bt I can't.pls I need help on how to post to from a blackberry or must I go to a desktop?thanks and GOD bless

Olamide is blessed.

9ja lik fake rumor 2much,since anitin dat concerns tonto must enta frontpage,so I decided to bring up tonto going to bba rumor na.check my profile,u will see d post that generated the news.
https://www.nairaland.com/1255101/tonto-dike-represent-nigeria-big or
https://www.nairaland.com/1259743/main-source-tonto-dike-big

ebankole: Sorry MOD and admin if this isn't the right place...but u know what to do.

Finally you can now switch from one network to the other...it's called MNP either from MTN to GLO or AiTEL to any network of your choice which should take effect from MONDAY...

Y must u say either from mtn to glo or airtel?must u port out from mtn?abeg,wit dis,mtn go run down oh.

I was even xpecting blood splitin everywhr sef.dem no get power jaree

1st to do dat tin.

Saying that he want 2face voice in all the tracks in his album.read more.


Multiple awards winning Nigerian super star, Dapo Oyebanjo populalrly known as D’Banj is not doubt one of Nigeria’s most resourceful entertainers. His break up with his partner, Don Jazzy generated a lot of reactions both within and outside the music idustry. Many music buffs even took a bet on him that he won’t last more than six months before he goes under. At that point, he became the most underrated music act. He heard all but pretended as if he didn’t and continued pushing his dreams.
Today, D’Banj seems to be very happy with the part he chooses as he declares he has no regret. His earnings have increased and he’s gained more international recognition. His road manager revealed that D’Banj now charges N8,000,000.00 and $100,000.00 outside Nigeria.
In his characteristic funny and lively attitude, he sat down with Seun Apara and speaks about his past and future.

First of all, how much do you worth now?
(Laughs). God has blessed me o. Ah, make I no lie (I won’t lie), Oluwa (God) is involved. I can’t start counting my blessings but I thank God.
The latest project from your stable now is the DKM album and it drops in two weeks. Give us an exclusive insight into it?
The ‘DKM’ Album, D Kings Men is a compilation of songs from the artistes on DB Records and is not a D’ Banj’s Album. It has a compilation of songs and sounds done by DB records artistes comprising myself, Kay Switch and J.Sol. DKM album has already dropped on pre-sales online. This is the first time I will be doing pre-sales of any album and I was surprised that in less than three days, the response was massive. I was in Atlanta and I flew back home immediately. I am actually excited about it and not just for me alone. I’m excited that if by God’s grace this works out, finally, it will curb piracy and provide another means of distribution other than Alaba Market.
Are you trying to set up a distribution channel?
Definitely and is not for the benefit of DB Records artiste alone, is for the benefit of all Nigerian acts. The big thing about this is that the distribution of DKM album is not going to be online alone. We have been looking for a way whereby our fans and the masses can get hold of our product other than on the street because I have heard complaints in the past that they don’t get the original copies of our albums. So now, it has been structured in a way that it will be delivered directly to your house, once you pre-buy the album. Then, it will be available in all GT Bank offices nationwide. I can tell you categorically that Fally Ipupa is on this album, Kanye West is on the album and Olamide is also on the album. Another shocker is that Durella is on the album (laughs)
Durella?
Yes, I know a lot of people will be surprised. Wait till you hear the song.
We heard you are also planning an album cum birthday concert?
We are definitely working on the DKM concert and will feature our friends that featured on the album. Other colleagues of mine will also be coming for the DKM concert scheduled for June 2013. It is such a big thing because my birthday is June 9th and we will be celebrating for the whole month of June. The Lord has blessed me and I need to celebrate. We have made such a big plan that when the album drops, I will go on tour throughout the month of June. Any of my fans in any country listed on the tour that already have the album will have access to the tour. The Koko community card inside the album gives them the chance to meet me and groove with me. The grand finale is on June 24th at the Expo Hall of Eko Hotel in Lagos where we will be staging the DKM Concert and my birthday bash together. I am bringing 2Chainz from America to perform at the concert.
I’m aware that you have other businesses, how do you manage all of them?
We have a management company called DKM that handles lot of brands and endorsements. So everything is more organized now with the launch of DKM Media last year. We started with the Koko Concert and that is the first time we did a concert and we wanted to do something different. Let me quickly use this opportunity to apologise to all my wonderful fans that trekked that long distance to the Koko Concert last year. I promise them we are not trekking again this year because we have a solid arrangement.
I listened to one of the songs on the DKM album titled Nonsense but I realized the song seems to have a violence theme. How will you explain that?
When I do my music, I do it like a day to day thing. You have heard Suddenly and Mogbona Felifeli. So this new song you are referring to won’t be an exception. When I say ‘egba ojue’ (slap him), it means enough of negative talks around you.
However, how do you end negative talks around you, it’s simply by stopping the negative things. For example, if you have an Ipad that is messing up, the best way to ‘gba ojue’ (slap it) is by repairing it.
With four nominations at World Music Awards including ‘Best Song of The Year and Best World Artiste’, what is more paramount to you at this point of your career?
What is more paramount to me is the same drive from the beginning. Oliver Twist did number 9 in the U.K top chart, number 2 in U.K R &B and number one in Romania. I will be 10 years on stage next year, though am already more than ten years in the industry but I released Tongolo in March 2004. Within ten years, I have been able to take our music and our culture to everywhere in Africa, Canada, America and Europe. With my partnership with G.O.O.D music and Universal Music, sooner or later, the whole world will hear about D’banj and other artiste like MI, Olamide and many others .We will showcase ourselves to the world and they are going to buy our music. The Grammy too is very near because we have won several Channel O awards, Soundcity, MTV, NMVA and many others.
Having done stuffs with few African top acts like Fally Ipupa, Sarkodie and 2Face, is there any particular African artiste you have in mind to work with soon?
I have done a lot of songs with 2Face but I still want to do more songs with him, infact do an album together. We will call it ‘Best of Both worlds’.
Having performed at top world concerts like Wireless, Radio 1 Hackney Weekend and few others, is there any particular concert you are eyeing at the moment?
It will be The Live Nation tour and any other major tour that is top class where I can promote African language and culture. I go to some tours and I’ll tell the white people that if you see a rich Nigerian, call him Igwe (King) and they will all shout Igwe. I teach them African languages and culture because I’m an African ambassador. Sometimes they don’t know the meaning until I translate.
What is your utmost possession?
For now, I will say is my distribution. For once, we need to get music distribution right in this country and be able curb piracy. Aside, musicians will be able to make so much money from their works.
What is the true story of your former manager, Bankulli’s exit from DB Records?
The thing is that I won’t really dwell too much on this issue but I want to categorically say everything that everybody has read or heard is a big fat lie.
Infact, I don’t know where that story is coming from. There is a definitely time for everything. Bankulli was a wonderful manager and he is still my brother. He is a good guy but he can’t be flying around with me again as he now does his own things. He still called us for a show recently when we were in South Africa. When people say someone that worked with me for one year is not working with me again, I laugh. My former manager, Sunday Are still gets me shows. People keep spreading unpalatable rumors.
Are you in touch with former partner, Don Jazzy?
Don Jazzy produced four songs on the DKM album coming out soon. I remember when I was in America and they were mastering a song and I heard the one featuring Fally Ipupa which was produced by Don Jazzy and I was like wow! I called him immediately and he picked up. I said listen to what I’m hearing, this is a music you produced. So don’t get twisted like I said, love is a beautiful thing. I’m a businessman and I do what is right for my business. What I’m doing now is what I have always wanted as an artiste, professionalism and good distribution. I don’t have any regret.
Tell us about your relationship status…
I have dated a lot of women but I don’t really want to talk about them because most of them have moved on and some are married. I don’t have any regret at all because I am still young and am still a bachelor.
Do you feel bothered about it when your mum brings up the issue?
Not at all but it’s a normal thing for mothers. She is proud of me and I do let her understand that it’s not that I don’t want to marry but I have not found the right one. If she finds the right one for me; she can call me.
How do you react to rumors and critics?
It’s a normal thing for people to talk but you don’t have to be distracted. All you need is to stay focused. I want to thank everybody for staying with me genuinely even during the dreadful time. I promise not to let you guys down and you should remember that in everything I do, I’m also human.

Sure girl

D awards sef small,e pass dis one na