₦airaland Forum

I once had this girlfriend who was older than me with about 6 year. Before we got splotchy, I Had been bragging about how superman couldnt contest with me in bed. This really got her excited and she couldnt wait to get silly with me.

So the faithfull day came and my "Koboko" was bent on not co-operating. Guess it was due to some heavy stuffs I had in mind then. I couldnt insert my key into her padlock . . . "so tey she bone" and the show was over! I was so ashamed that I couldnt zip up (it was in a car).

Days later, I had to start again trying to build interest up. . .but she said that she doesnt want just talk but real action! There and then, i made up my mind that if it's gonnna take my life being a superman when next i get the opportunity, then am ready to die.

Another opportunity came and I laughed last (He who laughs last laugh best). The padlock and key episode continued for lik six months when it was clear she's gonnna be married soon.

Morale of the story; Elderly chicks are much more understanding than girls your age.

On a trip to New Jersey via Amsterdam, I met a lady at the Schipol airport and I wanted to do my "thing", she just asked me if am flying business class. The question knocked me off. . . .but i squared my shoulders and said nope but maybe when we fly together to Peuto Ricco. She smilled and just walked away without saying anything more. The girl(a friend) I was going with laughed at me till we got to New Jersey.

NB: You people should share now!. . . .afterall no one knows who you are.!

During a product monitoring I did with a Nigerian bank this year, I met this very pretty Igbo chick that i couldnt take my eyes off(She works at the same bank). I decided to take my game to her. . . .while talking to her, I "tabon" (bad grammar). The bad thing was that I couldnt realize what i did until she told me in black and white.

Guess I said something like "breaked" instead of broke.
That was the end of my lust with her.

There was a time I was so addicted to peeping at girls in their hostel in Secondary School (Boarding House school in Ogun State). I was just a junior accomplice to a senior called "Senior Ugbe". . .he use to force me to the peeping show till I got hooked and was caught. I was flogged on the Assembly ground and my parents were summoned.

My Dad didnt show up . . .just my Mum!. . . . . .lol

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=204980.msg3194411#msg3194411 date=1228686930]What a LAME STORY. . . . . .Silly chump!!![/quote]Perhaps lame, . . .but true. Am not too good at ralaying stories.


Another one here:

The very first time I was at Ikogosi warm spring was in my very first year in the University and my pals then tried pimping an English language part 4 pretty chick for me. I did everything to impress the chick to the point that the chick called me and told me that am trying too hard to impress her by smoking cigarettes.

At the end of the day, all my buddies ended up with a chick that night while I ended up the empty packet of the Benson and Hedges, . .   and suffered heart pains for almost a week

Learnt a lesson not to be some one else but to have my own personal style.

Hey Nairalanders. . .Let's start a new topic that is much more interactive and true. You can contribute to the post before yours or just give your experience outrightly.

I have realized that the major reason that this forum is getting boring is simple because some of us are not just true. . so . . . . .
Please lets give out true life relationship experience that we find funny when we think about now here.

I'd start.

It was back in the day then, my 3rd year in the University (Nigeria). The day happened to be my birthday and my friends organised a little party for me right in my house. Everybody was set and having fun except for my gf then that is yet to show up.

The questions started falling on me and I was lost for anything that can be called excuse. When I couldn't take it no more, I put on a brand new shirt that my Sister brought for me from New york (It was an expensive designer) and got into my car to head to the hostel (Omolayo Hostel) where my gf then resides. I must mention that it was raining that fatefull day.

Getting to the hostel, I was faced with my 1st and only heart break. I stepped into her room and there I found with another guy in a compromising position on her bed. To make matters worse. . . . .
she said ; hey (my name). . and what are you doing here in the rain?
I reminded her it was my birthday and she wasnt at my party so am there to pick her. .
She said ; is that why you are dressed the way you are?

She didnt bother to introduce the guy and I did not even bother. . . I walked out gently and went straight to my party without her. Absolutely that ended the relationship though she tried a comeback.

News got around the school and my "clique" that I was so embarrassed that a guy beat me to a woman. There and then, I made sure my heart is just mine henceforth and never to be knocked off again.

@ OP.

Gerraout jor. . . .
Italian gay!

Your assumption only suggests that you have been checking people's profile for their contacts. This is tantamount(did I get the spelling right?) to stalking and according to you desperate for relationship.

Gbam.

Am sorry to say this. . . .they even look dirty and mal-nurished.

[quote author=~smurf link=topic=204943.msg3194195#msg3194195 date=1228683495]OJ Simpson ANYONE? ? ? ? ? [/quote]Sharrrrrap jor.  
OJ simpson ko OJB ni.
Oyinbos are not materialistic like you naija girls.
Moreover, there wouldnt be any headache about raising inlaws financially like one will have marrying a naija girl.

The stupid girl in black top cant even speak correct and straight English. . . .Shior!

Forget it. . . .
Village girl ko , clan girl ni.
Am ending up with an oyinbo jor. . . .
even my pastor knows.

nana:
Am in love with Jesus  

I beg, make una see Nana o o o o
Everybody here is a christian. . .must you make us feel like we sinners?  

[quote author=~smurf link=topic=204943.msg3194141#msg3194141 date=1228682364]Good luck wiff that one oh, maybe u should go to the village for that,!!!!!!!!!! heck village chicas don open eye too, [/quote]The solution that is easy now.
It's a matter of going for a chick with ambition and well educated.

The king of my town (Ilesa) promised me fine chick. . . .it's just that I have not been there in a while

Ehen. . .can't deny it.
But since I can't have it. . .
might just steal it someday whenever it crosses my path. . .

@ Topic.

I will find mine whenever I meet 1 that doesnt have "vulturic" interest in my pocket,
Who's not with me because of my physical attributes
Who respects my culture and traditions
and who would want just boys as kids.

Picks up my jacket and briefcase. . .
walks outta the door and staright to my BMW (7 series)

It means ;
Forget it
U dont know wassup.

Thought as much.
You almost decribed me perfectly except for the "dedication to you part"

[quote author=j-girl link=topic=204930.msg3194048#msg3194048 date=1228681273]Dream guy?
Lots of common sense and intelligence, good sense of humour, creative, nice personality, outstanding dedication to me, faithfulness, and most of very romantic yet manly.

. . . hence Will Smith [/quote]Have you seen my Pix or me b4?. . . .Seems you are describing me.

*Extends hand for a handshake*
For the understanding.

Gbagbe e.
O ti e le

Myself.

And do you think relaxing and not beating my chest like King Kong is easy with you around?

[quote author=~smurf link=topic=7702.msg3193982#msg3193982 date=1228680485]Oda pele, u know u are still ma #2 man anyday and all day baby boi, [/quote]Am sorry I will pass on your offer.
Am only #1 guy or no frequency at all. Number 1 or nothing dear.

Hahan. . .Smurf how could you say that?
Me ?. . .Garbage. . ?. . .
Taking your loff away shouldnt be this now, . . .

I only said that before I realised youve gat a "photocopy" to replace the original (Sillybobo)

Enjoy your photocopy while it last jare. . .

4get hooking me up. I only created space for you.
My love school doesnt admit anymore. . . .
I'e gat a waiting list sef!

@ Ndumart.

Silly heart no dey break!
Silly heart only move on!

Ehen. . . na TKB dey throne now?
No problem, that means my contract don end.
I understand contractual agreements now. . . .

I dont know the meaning. . .tell me in black and white.

Na TKB I see ooo

and it sound like tokunbo. . . .lol