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Education / Re: Share The Crazy Funny Things That Happened While In Boarding School by Simitrendy: 9:49pm On Oct 23, 2015
[b]

Hmm.. Anglican Diocesan High School I hail o.

I remembered those useless scope I'll give my seniors

Senior Talib:- Simi how far, come gimme garri

Simi:- Senior Talib I've not cut my garri

Senior Talib:- u dey craze, I tot twas provisions like Biscuits, cornflakes and beverages they do cut now its garri.

EPISODE 2

TIROGO DAY its d day when there's no provisions for student, I mean all their provisions HV finished

Nah so my niggas go enter dining hall serve their EBA inside cup and soak with water for like seven hours until it turn to garri grin


EPISODE 3
My Chaplain go beat students that didn't pay tithes and offering.

The worstest day my bunkmate go do thanksgiving for chapel na so dem give am bowl so make people con donate money and thank God on his behalf

For d whole 390+ students Nah only one person wey come out and put #5 for the bowl for am.

I swear the bulging wey d guy collect from me he no go ever forget grin



EPISODE 4

Nah so I no go night prep classes.. Prefects con dey parole.... I con hide under roof Nah so I fall down from roof.... I be confirm crook. grin



EPISODE 5

I mess inside class I shift am to my to the guy seating beside me... The mumu guy con dey cry.


EPISODE 6

When I dey JSS2 Health Prefect talk say make we go assemble for morning piece of work.. na so I dey run enter school farm... Senior Oje Kolapo run follow me take me to Health Prefect them talk say make I wash toilet for d whole term... I catch health Prefect pressing phone... I talk say I go report am for chief boarding housemaster if he no reverse the judgment.


EPISODE 7

I no give senior garri.. Nah so d guy talk say make I go fetch water inside basket. and make d basket full grin

EPISODE 8

Nah so I sneak out I go buy bread and suya, day guard Baba Gbeje Catch... I dey reason am say d man go take me to the housemaster or Principal Nah so d man collect half of d bread and suya and he talk say he no go report me... anytime I deg sneak out I go help d mab buy bread come grin


EPISODE 9

I no get SOP or Hymn book... I con tear the back of one guy SOP I wrap am with Story book.... i swear d day that idiot teacher called Mr Alade catch me... Nah so d man wan share SOP with me con discover say Nah storybook... cheesy the man report me to chaplain.. if u see d way chaplain flog me u go pity me.


EPISODE 10

One of my seniors called Doyin if he doesn't want to give people out of his bread... he will open d bread as if he wants to put butter inside it.... then he will burst his pimples inside d bread as butter cheesy


EPISODE 11


watch out for it on d next thread








[/b]

40 Likes

Celebrities / Re: A Nairalander Tattoos Don Jazzy's Name On His Body! by Simitrendy: 9:43pm On Oct 23, 2015

ROTFLOL
You should HV created this thread on Joke Section


Anyways your case has been referred from Mental Clinic (Aro) to Yabaleft

grin

I hope you'll cooperate with them over there
Education / Re: Unilorin Utme 2015/2016 Aspirants by Simitrendy: 5:53pm On Oct 23, 2015

Congrats LEGITLAYO I'm so happy for you.

Welcome to the most noble profession in the World.


Once again


Congratulations


Education / Re: . by Simitrendy: 5:30pm On Oct 22, 2015
cc: Fynestboi
Education / . by Simitrendy: 5:17pm On Oct 22, 2015
.
Education / Ekiti State University New Vice Chancellor. by Simitrendy: 4:57pm On Oct 22, 2015
Fayose approves appointment of Bandele as EKSU VC Ekiti State Governor, Mr Ayodele Fayose, has approved the appointment of Professor Samuel Oye Bandele as the new Vice-Chancellor of Ekiti State University, Ado- Ekiti. According to a press statement issued by the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr Idowu Adelusi, in Ado-Ekiti on Thursday, the governor acted on the recommendations of the Governing Council of the university which said that Professor Bandele came first out of the three candidates wo were interviewed for the job. The appointment of the new VC takes effect from December 2, 2015 as the tenure of the outgoing Vice-Chancellor, Professor Oladipo Aina expires on December 1, 2015. While congratulating the new vice chancellor for coming first in the interview and for being appointed for the job, Governor Fayose urged him to improve on the good work of the outgoing VC and take the university to a lofty height. Governor Fayose also thanked Professor Aina, who he said had contributed immensely toward the growth of the university physically, socially and economically. The governor prayed that God should be with the outgoing VC in his new endeavour after leaving office
Car Talk / Re: Share Your First Driving Experience by Simitrendy: 8:53am On Oct 21, 2015
cmoney22222:
I learnt myself with Honda Evil Spirit auto. All I know is that there is a brake and accelerating pedal. Within one week of constant practise. I com dey pose inside the car. But I brush tire, I brush danfo, keke, okada, even gateman and human being for road.. Hhahahha


haha bro u got me laughing ROTFLOL ... Hope say uno brush anything now?
Car Talk / Re: Share Your First Driving Experience by Simitrendy: 8:49am On Oct 21, 2015
jayriginal:
My first driving experience. Funny stuff. First the car kept stalling. It was just me and I stole the key when my folks were at work. It seemed so easy in my head but in reality it wasn't so.

Then I finally got the hang of it but changing gears was another issue. I kept looking down at my hands and feet before I could change gears. By the time I'd successfully shift, I would look up just in time to steer the car out of the bushes.

Oh and everyone had to see me on the road. I would wave at you even when we had not spoken in a while. I'd look back to make sure you saw me and then by the time I turned to the wheel, the car was in the bushes again. Its been well over 15years but its a fond memory.
i used to think its so easy until d day i started driving tho... I'm sure u learnt driving with a manual car
Car Talk / Re: Share Your First Driving Experience by Simitrendy: 8:45am On Oct 21, 2015
masonkz:
Had a little scratch from a danfo the first day I drove my car. that was also my first day driving (I had initially gone for diving lessons). I'm still learning though. Few weeks now.

PS: Don't buy into that bullshit of using manual cars to learn first. I wouldn't be having issues driving my car if I had jejely learnt with an auto trans. It all gets confusing for a learner.

I still have issues with parking properly.. hopefully that would be perfected this week. wink

Bro the idea of learning with manual car is the best... If you can drive a manual car you would easily drive auto cars, but if u can drive only auto i'm not sure the person would drive manual... The only problem with manual is changing of gears while isn't applicable to autos... I drive autos well cos i can drive manual cars...like me now i belive auto cars is for ladies why manual is for men grin do uno that driving schools use manual cars for training their students?
Education / Re: 9 Ways Students Waste Money, Possible Solutions by Simitrendy: 9:39am On Oct 19, 2015
[b]

This goes to the guys especially

Youre collecting 20K from your parents per month and because u want to impress that fine girl you start starving yourself to buy Iphone6

Most guys take girls to posh eatries like KFC because u want to prove OBO

You are using Infinix Hot2 because that your nigga has slept with almost all d girls in his dept with his Iphone6 u decide to buy one and u dont hv foodstuff in your room.


Data plan why will u buy 10GB on your phone shey u wan turn to internet explorer


Shoprite. U want to form posh u will start going to shoprite and u end up buying meaningless things.


Why will u leave in a 3 Bedroom flat of 270K when your dad and mom salary isn't up to that


Eating at mama put. I wonder whats wrong with some guys. U will eat outside with 500naira,whereas that 500naira i go use am buy soup ingredients with fish and cow skin.
Sending and wasting credit card on girls

You devoured your parents by collecting 50K and u bought phone with all d money
[/b]

1 Like

Car Talk / Re: Share Your First Driving Experience by Simitrendy: 2:41pm On Oct 18, 2015
Whizpeter:
In order words you don't have a license abi? Oya go get one then you can come let's talk... grincheesy



Nah Learners Permit I dey use baba


But I go get my License soon cheesy





grin


NYSC / Re: PHOTOS: See The Hair Cut This NYSC Member Rocked To His POP by Simitrendy: 11:23am On Oct 18, 2015



Lol


Ajirebi


2 Likes

Religion / Re: 7 Reasons Youths Go To Church by Simitrendy: 10:28am On Oct 18, 2015


Lemme add my own wink

Most Youth will go to church because they are moralist not born again Christians.

This is applicable to students, when exams is near, when exams is knocking on the door then they will remember they attended one fellowship last semester.




Most guys will go to church or fellowship because of that girl he's crushing on. He will find a way to talk to her. So he will attend her fellowship. Naijaboiy you're guilty of this.


Because of the food or snacks they share to first timer.
Toysne2much is guilty of this.


That girl in your hostel or department invited u.



because that fellowship or church members dress well.

Because those fellowship do tutorials.


Because those fellowship members are intelligent


grin



This is applicable to girls, they wear trousers in that fellowship.


If you're contesting for the SUG position... you can campaign or tell your fellowship members.




1 Like 1 Share

Education / Re: Augustine University: First Catholic University In Lagos Opens by Simitrendy: 11:48pm On Oct 17, 2015
Eugenedimgba:
na im be say u no go school at all.



Abi now, why u go talk say Nah #400,000 u spend from Primary to Tertiary institutions.


I sure say d guy dey sarcastic

Education / Re: Augustine University: First Catholic University In Lagos Opens by Simitrendy: 11:45pm On Oct 17, 2015
chigoizie7:






Bros, 30k too much sef, I graduated from a skul I paid 20,100 per session, + faculty fee,1k, association fee,5h, dept due 1k. No handouts, just buy your text books, lecturers will gve your course rep, his hand out, if u like u photocopy, if u like don't photocopy.




After everything all of us go still enter the same labour market and after like 3yrss of unemployment, the guy man go don forget wetin him read for skul just like I ve forgotten some of mine.






730k? For what?



Brother I tire o!

Why you go dey pay that kind heavy amount and if you leave you no dey guaranteed say u go see Job immediately.

U know d only thing wey I just like about Private Universities be say dem dey teach them Vocational training and works.

Like JABU dey do teach dem Vocational works so if dem graduate at least they will still be attached to something to provide three squared meal for them.


Education / Re: Augustine University: First Catholic University In Lagos Opens by Simitrendy: 11:14pm On Oct 17, 2015



Thank God for Federal University


Acceptance Fee=20,000
Bank Charges = 500


School Fees =76,000
Bank Charges= 500


Accommodation=22,000


I mean for Fresher's oh!

And u will still be given UNILORIN Tab


Even sef SUG go give u school bag

Even dem go give u flash drive


When you are in Part 2,3,4 u will go back to 30K

U will def spend that #730,000 For your undergraduate degree in a Federal University. grin


Tho Private Universities are good to some extent wink


But I thank God for d Federal Uni I dey grin


189 Likes 8 Shares

Politics / Re: Ambode, Oshiomhole At David Lawal's Thanskgiving Service In Abuja (Pics) by Simitrendy: 11:01pm On Oct 17, 2015


Lara just dey fresh.

Nothing do her now.


She just dey look like mammy water.


Nah Lara type I dey see for club wey I go rock her die.


But now she don turn First Lady.

grin



BTW wetin do Oshio for that 2nd pix wey dey look like person wey see wink smiley grin



grin



Make ino talk am.


I just dey come back from Nairaland Exile


Nah Ban I mean b4 Lala send me back...

grin




No mind d poster below me... The guy just escape from YabaLeft








1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Majek Fashek@ Felabration: Dragging The Legend Back To Rehab by Simitrendy: 10:54pm On Oct 17, 2015


First of all.


Thanks to God Almighty for using Ayiri Emami the great philanthropist from Warri to rescue Majek Fashek

I wonder why Majek Fashek is just like the dog going back to its vomit wink

Why should he Go back to Fela Shrine when that's where his problem started.


By now he should be relaxing grin


Even sef I hope he won't go back to weeds or start begging for 'ogogoro' again.


9 Likes 2 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Caption This Photo of Omotola Jalade Ekeinde Dancing by Simitrendy: 9:35pm On Oct 17, 2015


Omotola is a milf!


She's elegant and beautiful


You see her backside grin

I can die on top am





Abeg Captain Ekehinde


Forgive me o

Nah joke I dey oh!


But I still love your wife.







I'm crushing on her sef



wink



22 Likes

Car Talk / Share Your First Driving Experience by Simitrendy: 9:23pm On Oct 17, 2015
My first driving experience was funny tho. After I clocked 18 years my mum wanted me to learn driving.
I learnt it with a manual transmission car. Just one day I wanted to enter an estate after trafficating I wanted to press the brake and clutch in slow motion to enter.

I didn't know how my leg reached d accelerator (Turtle)

That's how the car sped off and enter inside a bush full of big trees especially palm trees.

I thanked God that day that the car didn't even hit any tree. I would have used the handbrake but I didn't want anything disastrous.

After that day the fear in me as diminished and now I can drive to anywhere in Nigeria if I would get my driving license soon grin

Share yours too don't spoil the fun.
Politics / Re: Aisha Buhari & Dolapo Osinbajo In Geneva (Photos) by Simitrendy: 3:55pm On Oct 16, 2015


Aisha Buhari is far better than Patience Jonathan.


Literally


Beauty


In Words


In speech


She's well cultured


She's organised.


Her English is fluent


She dress well

She's also flamboyant.


Unlike mama peace

who's dramatic

She'll be speaking like ....


grin



53 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: Governors At National Economic Council Meeting Today In Abuja by Simitrendy: 8:54pm On Oct 15, 2015
Where is Fayose
Celebrities / Re: Foluke Daramola And Hubby Kissing Each Other outside (photos) by Simitrendy: 10:39pm On Oct 14, 2015



This craze mehn.


I wonder what's wrong with Naija Celebs.



Its hard just to come across Hollywood Actor or Actress kissing their spouse and displaying it.



Its freaking childish.



U kissing ur spouse and putting it online


smh*



And she's a woman


It's crae



BTW when will she burn her fats.


Yoruba Actress are disgracing Yoruba as a tribe!


Mtcheew!


Education / Re: RIP: Sunkanmi A Part One Student Of OAU Inter Rel. by Simitrendy: 10:58am On Oct 14, 2015
[b]

Sunkanmi I'll definitely miss you.

I'll miss your funny attitudes towards me.

I'll miss the bully.

I'll miss d gist about Lagos.

Education / Re: RIP: Sunkanmi A Part One Student Of OAU Inter Rel. by Simitrendy: 10:46am On Oct 14, 2015

Fynestboi I don't know how to cry or shout

I'm serious I used to know Sunkanmi

We did Pre degree tutorial together at Faculty of Agric

Sunkanmi has a bright future.


He scored 68% in the Pre Degree exams


Even crossing to OAU then from PD he scored 70%

He's brilliant.

He do teach me English
The likes of me Gbolahan where is best friend.

Even Yinka he is in Elect Elect

I'll miss Sunkanmi the tall guy from Lagos.


Don't know how to cry

RIP

5 Likes

Education / Re: RIP: Sunkanmi A Part One Student Of OAU Inter Rel. by Simitrendy: 10:40am On Oct 14, 2015
Sunkanmi


I'm crying
Politics / Re: “life As President Muhammadu Buhari’s Daughter” – 20-year-old Zahra Speaks by Simitrendy: 10:25pm On Oct 13, 2015
pet4ril:
ahhhhhhhh! El rufai? Oh no. ...oh God, please I reject this











undecided
Politics / Re: “life As President Muhammadu Buhari’s Daughter” – 20-year-old Zahra Speaks by Simitrendy: 9:51pm On Oct 13, 2015



My Love for Zahra tho.



She's a eloquent speaker.



She's intelligent.



She's beautiful.


She's nice.



She's reserved.



She's God fearing.




She's everything I'm looking for in a lady.



In fact I'm crushing on her. grin


I must confess.



I


love



Zahra.




How I wish El-Rufai would bone her for me smiley



one of the main reason I voted for Buhari is








ZAHRA






I'll do anything to marry her


grin




40 Likes 4 Shares

Politics / Re: Another Senator Caught Sleeping [photo] by Simitrendy: 9:01pm On Oct 13, 2015


These are the kind of senators who spends 3 terms in the red chamber.


And start deceiving his constituency members.


grin

Crime / Re: Bank Robbery In FESTAC Town by Simitrendy: 10:00am On Oct 13, 2015
Icecream4U:
lolz, they've all loged out of NL on seing this post. Dem never wan die.




grin



For their mind
Politics / Re: These Ministerial Nominees Might Just “take A Bow And Go” Today by Simitrendy: 9:49am On Oct 13, 2015




These set of people will enjoy the benefit of being a Federal Lawmakers once.



Its cool... Since Mark did it, I see no reason why Saraki won't do it.



Only if he wants to change his mind tho.




Crime / Re: Bank Robbery In FESTAC Town by Simitrendy: 9:35am On Oct 13, 2015
sirxbit:
police don go hide again


Most of them sef don enter forest now.



some dey under bed.

grin

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