₦airaland Forum

Joba: Akpos,why you dey
bury money na? Akpos:
Yeh,i wan plant am...so my
'Money will grow like
grass.

2 idiots standin at
museum lookin at an
Egyptian mummy wit
1347FC written below it.
Joba:Wht does that mean.
Akpos:It must be her BB
Pin

They wanna kiss their brother from d Otueke clan...i no mention name ooo

PASTOR: Do something crazy for
the lord.. *Akpos carried the
offering basket and ran away*

4 dose girls dat your DP/Profile pix shows d
seat belts of different cars and yet
u say u are not cheating. Are u a
car dealer? Abi ur papa na
clearing and forwarding agent? ;D4 dose girls dat your DP/Profile pix shows d
seat belts of different cars and yet
u say u are not cheating. Are u a
car dealer? Abi ur papa na
clearing and forwarding agent?

1. played slippo
2. suwe
3. acting James bond by jumping from the top of an uncompleted storey building
can't remember much now but it was fun anyway

The US Senate has
passed the Obama
Health
Care bill into law. The
implementation would
commence on 23/03/
2013.This bill would
require all Americans to
be implanted with a
Radio Frequency
Identification (RFID) chip
in
order to access medical
care.
The device will be
implanted on the
forehead or
on the arm. This is to
fulfill the prophesy in
the
Book of Revelation
13:15-18 concerning
the MARK OF THE
BEAST! Are you still in
doubt
concerning the
ENDTIME? GET READY!
The rapture is near!
Be prepared so you are
not caught unaware.
Live a good life, pray
more, preach the
GOSPEL to others and
save
souls.
Revelations 13 is being
played out right before
us.
Many are still unaware.
(1) Why is the chip being
implanted exactly
where the Bible
says it would be. Why
on the hand and
forehead. Why not
anywhere else?
(2) Why is it being
connected to your bank
account?
Remember the Bible
says you won't be able
to
buy or sell without the
mark. And guess what!
The chip is connected to
your financial details.
What breaks my heart
the most is that many
people in the church will
not make it if Jesus
comes now? Many are
unaware that the end is
near.
Don't tell me that its a
developed world
process, technology or
something fancy. If any
area of your life is not
in sync with God's
word, its time to make a
quick u-turn NOW...
Repent and be
converted. If you miss
heaven
you can never miss
hell...think about it.
Hell is not a pretty
place, the worst part is
that it
is for eternity...Please
rather than post and
forward senseless
messages and publish
those
Boko haram's devilish
accomplishments, join
me to sound the alarm.
Send to everyone you
know..
PLEASE play your part in
this & don't just stop,
Do the work of an
evangelist.
I pray for you: Hell will
not hold you bound
Jesus Christ first. As lord
and savior
PLEASE SHARE THIS
MESSAGE WITH ALL
YOUR friends.

Can our naija leaders ever live this kind of life?

mods, front-page pls.

It’s a common grumble that politicians’
lifestyles are far removed from those of
their electorate. Not so in Uruguay. Meet
the president – who lives on a ramshackle
farm and gives away most of his pay.
Laundry is strung outside the house. The
water comes from a well in a yard,
overgrown with weeds. Only two police
officers and Manuela, a three-legged dog,
keep watch outside.
This is the residence of the president of
Uruguay, Jose Mujica, whose lifestyle clearly
differs sharply from that of most other
world leaders.
President Mujica has shunned the luxurious
house that the Uruguayan state provides
for its leaders and opted to stay at his
wife’s farmhouse, off a dirt road outside
the capital, Montevideo.
The president and his wife work the land
themselves, growing flowers.
This austere lifestyle – and the fact that
Mujica donates about 90% of his monthly
salary, equivalent to $12,000 (£7,500), to
charity – has led him to be labelled the
poorest president in the world.
“I may appear to be an eccentric old man …
But this is a free choice.”
“I’ve lived like this most of my life,” he says,
sitting on an old chair in his garden, using
a cushion favoured by Manuela the dog.
“I can live well with what I have.”
His charitable donations – which benefit
poor people and small entrepreneurs –
mean his salary is roughly in line with the
average Uruguayan income of $775 (£485)
a month.
All the president’s wealth is a 1987 VW
Beetle.
In 2010, his annual personal wealth
declaration – mandatory for officials in
Uruguay – was $1,800 (£1,100), the value
of his 1987 Volkswagen Beetle.
This year, he added half of his wife’s assets
– land, tractors and a house – reaching $
215,000 (£135,000).
That’s still only about two-thirds of Vice-
President Danilo Astori’s declared wealth,
and a third of the figure declared by
Mujica’s predecessor as president, Tabare
Vasquez.
Elected in 2009, Mujica spent the 1960s and
1970s as part of the Uruguayan guerrilla
Tupamaros, a leftist armed group inspired
by the Cuban revolution.
He was shot six times and spent 14 years in
jail. Most of his detention was spent in
harsh conditions and isolation, until he was
freed in 1985 when Uruguay returned to
democracy.
Those years in jail, Mujica says, helped
shape his outlook on life.
“I’m called ‘the poorest president’, but I
don’t feel poor. Poor people are those who
only work to try to keep an expensive
lifestyle, and always want more and more,”
he says.
“This is a matter of freedom. If you don’t
have many possessions then you don’t need
to work all your life like a slave to sustain
them, and therefore you have more time
for yourself,” he says.
“I may appear to be an eccentric old man.
But this is a free choice.”
The Uruguayan leader made a similar point
when he addressed the Rio+20 summit in
June this year: “We’ve been talking all
afternoon about sustainable development.
To get the masses out of poverty.
“But what are we thinking? Do we want the
model of development and consumption of
the rich countries? I ask you now: what
would happen to this planet if Indians
would have the same proportion of cars per
household than Germans? How much
oxygen would we have left?
“Does this planet have enough resources so
seven or eight billion can have the same
level of consumption and waste that today
is seen in rich societies? It is this level of
hyper-consumption that is harming our
planet.”
Source: news.bbc.co.uk

pls post somfin on helticulture.

I Love Chicharito.... I Love Manchester United!!!! ©

It was learnt that the accident was due to the absence of signal operator at the Mushin Station terminus in Lagos .
It was gathered that the signal operator had gone to defecate and asked his assistant to take over but his assistant forgot, leading to the collision.

If this is true, the assistant should be fired

If USA was Nigeria, today's headlines will read:
· Don't celebrate yet, Romney tells Obama (TELL magazine)
· Concede defeat, Obama urges Romney (Punch newspaper)
· 20 opposition cadres riot (The Sun newspaper)
· Romney Demands Vote Recount (Vanguard newspaper)
· Elections rigged (Guardian newspaper)
· No evidence of manipulation (NTA news)
· The Church declares elections free and fair (News Line)
· There will be violence if we lose; Romney declares (LTV 8 news)
· Election results for Arizona awaited (Channels news)
· Trucks with suspected ballot papers crosses into USA from Mexico (Tribune newspaper)
· Romney is an opportunist - Go back to your farm (AIT news)
· I will not accept results, Romney tells Obama (STV news)
· Romney heads to Election Petition Tribunal (MITV)
· White Majority rejects results ()
· Kenyan Big Boy Senator Obama Throws Lavish Party to celebrate Election Victory (City People)
· Free for all fight at Obama rally inGrant Park (Channels TV)
· Northern elders, Arewa and Sultan rejects results (ThisDay)
· Republicans and Democrats supporters clash in Ketu and Ajangbadi, 14 dead, Romney threatens more heads will roll
· The people behind Obama's victory: True story uncovered... Newswatch
· Ope baje fun Romney, ijoba te siwaju lowo arakunrin dudu Obama, giri giri ba oyinbo....Alaroye Newspaper

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dickson, let's go."

Lmao

toluxe0075: Dis news don old naw, pikin wey dem don born 2 or 3weeks ago, wey d guy even score hatrick immediately dem born d pikin...

na u deliver d pikin 3weeks ago?

azimibraun: Dis 869 dude abeg mk we knw ur source.. Dnt b afraid o! Jst say it.

Ronaldo Jr:17th June 2010
THiago Messi: 2nd Nov 2012.
Difference: 869 days
Ronaldo: 5 feb 1985
Messi: 24th June 1987

Oya do ur calculation

Another fact is Christiano Ronaldo is older than Lionel Messi with 869 days so also is Christiano Ronaldo Jr is older than Thiago Messi (Messi's son) with 869 days

While a man was polishing his new car, his 6year old son picked up a stone and scratched some lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench (an iron spanner). The child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. At the hospital with painful tears the child asked his father, " Dad when will my fingers grow back?" The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his and kicked it a lot of times.
Devasted by his actions...sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches; then he read what the child had written "LOVE YOU DAD AND JESUS LOVES YOU TOO"

Olo mi - Tosin Martins,
U ar my dream com true - Lagbaja. Dedicated 2 d love of my lyf (IST).

Logical and legal.
A young law student,havin failed his law
exam,goes up to his crusty old professor,who
is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.
Student:"sir do u rilly undastand everytin abt
dis subject?"
Professor: "Actually,i wud propably
do,othrwise i wudnt be a professor,would i?"
student: "ok sir i wud lyk u to ask u a
question,if u give me d correct answer,i wud
acept my mark as it is,if u cnt give me d
correct ansa,however u'll have to give me an
"A"
professor: "hmmmmm all right so wts d
question?.
Student: whats legal but not logical,logical but
not legal n neither logical nor legal?
The professor wraks his famous brain,but jst
cant crack the answer,finallu he gives up and
changes d student mark as agreedn the d
student goes away vry pleased.
The professor continues to wrack his brain
over d question all aftanoon but still cnt get
d ansa...so finally he calls in a group of his
brightest students and tells dem he has a
really really tough question to answer
"what is legal but not logical,logical but not
legal and neither logical nor legal".
To the proefessors suprise(and
embarrasment) all d students immediately
raised up dia hands.
"All right" says d professor and asks his
favourite student to ansa.
"its quite easy sir" says d student
you see,you are 75yrs old and married to a
30yrs old woman which is legal but not
logical..your wife has a 22yrs old lover which
is logical but not legal,and ur wifes lover
failed but u've just given him an"A" which is
neither logical nor legal......

thank you all for ur comments, I was @ d airtel shop 2day n d lady there helped me got back my old line. I have returned d dead man's sim 2 them.

but e be like say I go run package wit d airtel babe o. (we've exchanged numbers )....

fortunately for me I was able 2 reach airtel customer care now and was told 2 visit d nearest airtel shop.

I'll do dat tomorrow

muyenmuyen: go to ur service provider and explain /ask why the line is
not blocked b4 sold to u . pls don"t go to their place o o ooooooo

do u mean if its blocked b4 been sold to me, those that always reach the number b4 u b able 2 reach it again?

Beetwo: Doin away wit d line is ok, but God forbid, wat if d line truly blong to a dead man, rememba you said you hav registered it, and also, dont you tink your fone might be traced if dis become a real case. Jus call d custmer care l gav you and report to d police, who knows it might b 419ers truly, but it is better to play safe. Jus my opinion sha

I'll get across 2 d customer care b4 thinking of next line of action

fluid26: True. What is the probability that the new number you wanna acquire is *dead-man-free?

Man up. Block the numbers harassing you, they'll get tired. Don't allow some nitwits push you around.

tnx 4 ur candid advice

CrazyMan: I would suggest you do so...the line is new, therefore there's nothing to loose.

na so my broda, I'll pick anoda one soon hopefully is not another dead man's number

fluid26: Please ignore! It doesn't make any sense. Who kills a man just to acquire a line not worth more than N500? It is 419 tactics. If you fall prey, you'll end up parting with a large sum of money.

A similar thing happened to me last year when I bought my airtel line. Some dude called me saying something similar to what you narrated. He said the number belonged to a dead man he knew, asking me why I was using it! At first I was taken aback...as to why someone would be calling to ask such dumb question. Knowing full well that service providers ALWAYS recycle abandoned lines to maximize profit. I promptly told him not to bother calling me as I had no intention of giving up the line. I *blocked the number he called me with, but he kept calling with other numbers. I kept blocking. He got tired after a month or two.

If the woman's claim is valid, she should report the case to airtel and the police. They should be the ones calling. Gerrit?

tnx 4 sharing ur experience , but I may give up d line.

tnx so much. I'll try d number but not sure if I'll involve d police because I sense its pure murder from d way d families sound.

mods please to the front page so I can get more advise

It all began when my dual sim phone was stolen, housing my airtel and glo line. In no time I retrieved my glo but had problem retrieving my airtel because I don't have the sim pack neither was it registered.

The real problem started when I bought a new airtel sim, to avoid similar fate I registered it immediately. After few days of activation I received a call from a woman claiming her late husband is the owner of the line, she said I killed him and took his phone. Before I could explain myself she started raining curses on me, so I ended the call.

After few hours I called her back to explain myself but before I could utter a word she has started cursing me again, so I ended the call and sent her an sms.

Rather for things to get better, it went from bad to worse. I started receiving calls on this line saying the phone belong to there father, uncle, brother etc saying I murdered him. The calls always end with heaps of curses.

I have tried reaching the airtel customer care to no avail and going to the police is not an option because this is a murder case. I have even contemplated visiting this family (only if will hear me out on phone let alone disclosing there address ).

I also feared being tracked down if I continue using this line.

Please what should I do?

Siga: Ahhh....if the noise level for Lagos suddenly reduce to zero....all man go run ooo...cos dem go think something bad dey happen.... ....But for real...they need to cut it down....everyone is responsible....even Fashola and hin boys with all dem sirens

when and where did u see or hear Fashola's convoy blaring siren?