₦airaland Forum

I'm waiting to hear from the OAU students on nairaland and not the bribed students union president.

Nairalanders and counter is like veejay n p*nis

Miss Kedike

This is really insightful, wish it could make front page.

RIP Pa Idibia

wow....I love this, also very willing to contribute my widow's mite

God bless all the brains behind this initiative
God bless nairaland and nairalanders
God bless TEHN.


PS: we hope the Nigerian factor won't destroy this work

do mean you've receiving free premium motor spirit (PMS) popularly known as petrol from oga Seun?

I hope they heed to the simple advice rather than disregarding the message and the messenger

[quote author=Elli-dude]Funny i must say..

So if a man's stuff gets bitten or cut off, i denotes his death sentence right?

Lol..

Tell us you made this up..[/quote]Even if it's made up, dnt allow a lady wit epilepsy arnd ur dick

Guys be watchful of ladies you allow to give you blow-job.

There is this very popular man in my hood that is always after everything under the skirt. Be it single or married, he doesn't give a damn all he want is nyansh.
On this faithful day, he picked a one night stand lady and straight to the hotel not knowing this babe has epilepsy disease.

They lodged straight into an hotel and proceed to action. The babe started giving the man blow-job sending the him to cloud nine, next thing epilepsy attacked the lady, GBAM! All her 32 teeth clenched on this man's di.ck before this guy will say Jack, he's already six feet below.

A word is enough for the wise.

For the last six months, Catholic cardinals, bishops and theologians have been deliberating in Vatican City, discussing the future of the church and redefining long-held Catholic doctrines and dogmas. The Third Vatican Council, is undoubtedly the largest and most important since the Second Vatican Council was concluded in 1962. Pope Francis convened the new council to “finally finish the work of the Second Vatican Council.” While some traditionalists and conservative reactionaries on thefar right have decried these efforts, they have delighted progressives around the world.The Third Vatican Council concluded today with Pope Francis announcing that Catholicism is now a “modern and reasonable religion, which has undergone evolutionary changes. The time has come to abandon all intolerance. We must recognize that religious truth evolves and changes. Truth is not absolute or set in stone. Even atheists acknowledge the divine. Through acts of love and charity the atheist acknowledges Godas well, and redeems his own soul, becoming an active participant in the redemption of humanity.”“Through humility, soul searching, and prayerful contemplation we havegained a new understanding of certain dogmas. The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of God. God is not a judge but a friend and a lover of humanity. God seeks not to condemn but only to embrace.Like the fable of Adam and Eve, we see hell as a literary device. Hell is merely a metaphor for the isolated soul, which like all souls ultimately will be united in love with God” Pope Francis declared.In a speech that shocked many, the Pope claimed “All religions are true, because they are true in the hearts ofall those who believe in them. What other kind of truth is there? In the past, the church has been harsh on those it deemed morally wrong or sinful. Today, we no longer judge. Like a loving father, we never condemn our children. Our church is big enough for heterosexuals and homosexuals, for the pro-life and thepro-choice! For conservatives and liberals, even communists are welcome and have joined us. We all love and worship the same God.”One statement in the Pope’s speech has sent traditionalists into a fit of confusion and hysteria. “God is changing and evolving as we are, For God lives in us and in our hearts. When we spread love and kindness inthe world, we touch our own divinity and recognize it. The Bible is a beautiful holy book, but like all great and ancient works, some passages are outdated. Some even call for intolerance or judgement. The time has come to see these verses as laterinterpolations, contrary to the message of love and truth, which otherwise radiates through scripture.In accordance with our new understanding, we will begin to ordain women as cardinals, bishops and priests. In the future, it is my hope that we will have a woman pope one day. Let no door be closed to women that is open to men!”In addition to the Pope’s sweeping calls for tolerance and a new progressive understanding of Catholicism, he condemned racism, raising his voice and pounding the podium in front of him. Pope Francis spent over an hour castigating anti-immigrant politicians, parties and individuals. Wagging his finger sternly with righteous indignation, the Pope shouted “Racism today is the ultimate evil in the world. When Italians, Spanish or French turn back the boats of African migrants seekinga better life, are they not like the inn keeper who told Mary and Joseph that there was no room for them andthe infant Christ? These migrants are children of God and we are commanded to love them!”His voice loudly echoing through St. Peter’s basilica, the Pope stated “those who would dare to turn immigrants away, be they legal or undocumented, turn their backs on Christ himself! A racist is not a true Christian. A racist casts aside his humanity to become a beast, a demon! He is the embodiment and personification of evil, a Satan!”To a chorus of thunderous applause, Pope Francis stated “because Muslims, Hindus and African Animists are also made in the very likeness and image of God, to hate them is to hate God! To reject them to is to reject God and the Gospel of Christ. Whether we worship at a church, a synagogue, a mosque or a mandir, it does not matter. Whether we call God, Jesus, Adonai, Allah or Krishna, we all worship the same Godof love. This truth is self-evident to allwho have love and humility in their hearts!”In a announcement that shocked many people, Pope Francis warned that “those who seek to deny a home to the migrant, to the African and the Muslim, risk their membership in the church. We will consider excommunication for those whose souls willingly dwell in the darkness and evil of intolerance and racism. Satan himself is a metaphor or a personification, for the collective evilsof mankind. Today, these evils manifest foremost as racism, intolerance, religious persecution and bigotries of all kinds.”A couple of prominent Catholic cardinals have responded to Pope Francis’ declarations by leaving the church. Cardinal Arinze of Nigeria asked, “what do we stand for if we declare that truth is relative? On the contrary, truth exists independently of our personal feelings. All of this talk of love and tolerance is hollow if we have no identity of our own, if we stand for nothing. I charge that Francis has become a heretic, and that he is not a valid Pope. Indeed, Francis is no longer even a Catholic. The seat of Saint Peter is vacant. I amnow a Sedevacantist. I should have become one long ago. The Vatican has embraced ecumenism in the past, but worse than that, it has now embraced moral relativism on abortion and homosexuality. At the same time it is embracing moral absolutism in favour of illegal immigration and cultural genocide against Europe.”In his most controversial statement, Cardinal Arinze said “Islam has overrun my own country, and now it threatens to overrun Europe. Some parts of Nigeria now live under Islamic Sharia law. Catholics there are no longer free to practice their faith publicly. Francis is a fool if he thinks that his liberal immigration policy will end well. He has betrayed western civilization. Vatican City will one day become a giant mosque if things continue in Europe along their present course. Those in the West who ignore this truth, do so at their own peril.”In an angry and vitriolic rant revealing deep self-hating tendencies, the African Cardinal Arinze stated “There is nothing wrongwith Europeans who want to protect their borders. The problem is that there is not enough border control and the immigration policies are far too lenient in Europe. Is it racist to desire to preserve one’s own home? Why is it racist to want to preserve your own culture and a future for your people and your children? Have white people gone stupid today?”This much is clear, the Catholic Church has made a decision to rejoinhumanity and to reject intolerance and extremism. The church has lost afew narrow-minded bigots, with reports of some small parishes and afew cardinals and bishops defecting, but Pope Francis has gained the friendship of the world. Pope Francis deserves praise for taking a humane stand in defence of human rights andagainst bigotry.

source: http://mojidanisa2.com/2013/12/28/all-religions-are-true-adam-and-eve-a-fable-hell-is-a-mere-metaphor-says-pope-francis/

Dear Mr President, responding formally to a letter is not what Nigerians need but positive actions that will transform Nigeria to prove you are better than your predecessors.

you criticize from hearsays and worshipping in wrong places. I am very proud to be associated with this great church. For those bringing shame and ridicule to this great church, you'll meet your Waterloo sooner or later.
God Bless Celestial Church of Christ worldwide!

Brazil 2014...here we come!

There are indications that the domestic runway (18 left) of the Murtala Mohammed Airport, MMA, Lagos may have collapsed again.The runway was taken over from the Federal Airport Authority of Nigeria, FAAN,and handed over to the Nigerian Airspace Management Agency, NAMA, in March last year by the Ministry of Aviation.The equipment was installed last December by NAMA. It was gathered that the runway now accommodates only visual operations while aircraft are diverted to the international runway (R18R)for landing and takeoff. Visual operations end at 6pm while night operations start from 6pm till the early hours of the following day.The inability of the runway to work at nighthas led to aircraft being delayed in the air as they land according to arrival at the airport. A source close to NAMA confided in our correspondent that what was installed at the airport last December by the agency was a rechargeable airfield lighting, whose power depletes after few minutes of usage by airlines, especially in the evening.According to the source, such airfield lightings are supposed to be used in airstrip and airfield with low traffic and notat a major airport like the Lagos and Abuja airports.The source, however, said the pilots could not complain of the situation to the public for fear of their airlines being punished by the government, but insisted that the situation had been like that for over six months now.He said: “What we have at Lagos Airport is rechargeable airfield lighting, which is not good for an airport as busy as this. This has been the situation for several months now and we don’t know what the government is doing about it.“It is difficult for the pilots to complain of the sordid situation because if they do, their airlines would be dealt with by the government.So, they are keeping silent on the issue.” NAMA had on December 28, 2012 delivered mobile airfield lighting to facilitate the landing and take-off of airplanes on the runway after dusk.The lights had arrived on Allied Air, a cargoairline, on December 24. For over five years, the runway operated without airfield lighting, costing domestic airlines some N20 billion on extra fuel, wear and tear on the aircraft, and delays both in the air and during taxiing to the domestic terminal, MMA2 or the General Aviation Terminal, GAT.The airfield lighting is remotely controlled and is in rechargeable trailer that is meant to last for 200 hours before it is due for recharge. NAMA had said that the lights got the approval of the International Civil Aviation Organisation, ICAO, Annex 14 and it was also compliant with the United Kingdom Civil Aviation Authority’s regulations.The General Manager, Public Affairs, NAMA, Mr. Supo Atobatele, said in an online statement that the deployment of the mobile airfield lighting had put an end to more than five years of flight restrictions placed on daylight operations at the local wing of the airport.“The absence of the airfield lighting on the runway for half a decade had forced the domestic airlines to land after sunset at the international wing of the airport.’’Atobatele said the development had compelled domestic aircraft at MMA to burn extra fuel for 15 minutes to taxi downto their various terminals before discharging their passengers.He said: “This looks like a Christmas gift to the airlines, travellers and Nigerians in general. It is made possible by the Federal Government’s commitment to ensuring speedy clearance of passengers and their goods by the Customs at the domestic terminal of the MMA. “It is also due to the foresight of the Minister of Aviation, Princess Stella Oduah, who ensured qualityservice delivery at the nation’s airports.’’Atobatele added that in all, 66 KALKIT brands of emergency airfield lights and additional two approach lights had been deployed by NAMA engineers.KALKIT is the airfield lighting system that was certified by ICAO, the United States Federal Aviation Authority, FAA, and the United Kingdom Civil Aviation Authority, UKCAA.He said: “This means that the product is of international standard and safe for deployment in any part of the world.”

* Sell over 60 trucks per month.
* Make over #300,000 on 45000 litre truck.
* 6 underground tank of 35000 litres capacity
* 18 brand new dispensing. pumps.
* Brand new silent generator.
* The station is just 19 months old.
* Built on 2 plots of land with another connecting 5 plots to build offices and truck park.
* You buy today and take possession today.
* This business with just 20 months of return on investment (ROI) will cost you only $1.6 million

The numbers to contact 07018773900 Mr A. Adedeji 07045355696 Mr Ralph.

Princess Stella Oduah, who is facing
separate probe panels set up by
President Goodluck Jonathan as well as
the National Assembly over the
purchase of N255 million armoured
cars has written the president to
explain her side of the story.
The President on Tuesday issued query to
her to explain her role in the purchase of
the armoured cars.
In her response, the minister said
procurement of the cars followed due
process and was provided for in the
NCAA 2013 budget.
Defence
In her defence titled: EXECUTIVE
SUMMARY ON THE PROCUREMENT OF
NCAA OPERATIONAL VEHICLES, she wrote:
“The Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority,
NCAA, is the statutory regulator of the
Nigeria Civil Aviation Industry.
Consequently, the NCAA is charged with
oversight responsibilities over all civil
aviation operations in the country,
including safety, security and strict
compliance with ICAO Standards and
Recommended Practices, SARPs, and
Nigerian Civil Aviation Regulations,
NCARs.
2. Towards the effective implementation
of its statutory regulatory responsibilities,
therefore, it is imperative that the NCAA is
fully equipped with highly specialised
tools and facilities, including adequate
operational vehicles to cover all 22
national airports and over 400 airstrips. In
keeping with standard practice, provision
is therefore made annually for the
replacement of obsolete, inadequate and
unreliable monitoring equipment.
3.In the 2013 budgetary appropriation,
provision was made for the procurement
of specialised equipment (including
operational vehicles) to complement and
in some cases replace obsolete ones.
Furthermore, the fact that NCAA, as the
regulator of the industry, often plays host
to dignitaries from ICAO, IATA, US FAA,
AFRAA, AFCAC BAGASO, CANSO, ACI and a
host of others makes it necessary to have
specialised operational vehicles.
4.With regard to the procurement of
additional operational vehicles (including
BMW Security Vehicles), the following due
process was observed:
(I) By letter dated April 15, 2013, NCAA
officially requested authorisation from the
Federal Ministry of Aviation to procure 56
operational vehicles through lease
financing. This option was proposed to
the ministry to enable the NCAA make 36
monthly payments based on receipts from
Internally Generated Revenue, IGR.
Approval
The Ministry therefore granted due
approval.
(ii)Based on the ministry’s approval, the
NCAA invited Expressions of Interest from
all Banks in Nigeria for the financing of
the said vehicles. EOI was adopted
because the procurement is two sided.
First, the financier would have to be
selected before the supplier is
determined. This is in line with
procurement best practices.
(iii) On May 24, 2013, the response
received from the various banks to the
Expression of Interest, EOI, request was
opened publicly and minutes of the
opening exercise was duly documented.
During the EOI opening exercise, NCAA
got commendation from one of the Civil
Society Organisations, CSOs, approved by
BPP who were invited for the opening
exercise.
(iv) The evaluation of the expression of
interests was held on May 31, 2013 during
which First Bank Plc, Union Bank Plc and
Stanbic IBTC emerged most responsive.
On the June 10, 2013 the above three
banks were invited to submit Financial
Proposals. Thereafter, First Bank emerged
the highest rated responsive bidder.
(v)Between June 20 and 25, 2013, invoices
were received from various accredited
motor vehicle dealers during which only
Coscharis Motors Limited quoted for BMW
Security Vehicles.
Tenders Board
(vi) On June 28, 2013, NCAA Parastatal
Tenders Board approved the selection of
First Bank Ltd for the Lease Financing as
well as Metropolitan Motor Vehicles and
Coscharis for the supply of the vehicles.
All necessary approvals were duly sought
and obtained accordingly.
(vii) Between July 8, 2013 to August, 12,
2013 various meetings were held with
First Bank Ltd, contract agreement was
signed and necessary documentation
executed.
Your Excellency is respectfully invited to
note:
(i) The crucial statutory role of the NCAA
in regulating civil aviation operations in
the country, including safety, security and
strict compliance with ICAO Standards
and Recommended Practices (SARPs) and
Nigerian Civil Aviation Regulations
(NCARs).
(ii) The need for NCAA to be fully
equipped with highly specialized tools
and facilities (including operational
vehicles) to enable the effective
implementation of its statutory functions.
(iii) The procurement of specialized
operational vehicles is duly provided for
in the NCAA 2p 13 (IGR) Budget and the
need for adopting instalmental lease
payments over36rionths.
(iii) That Due Process was followed in the
procurement of the said operational
vehicles.
Please your Excellency my continued
loyally and esteemed regards.
Princess Stella Adaeze Oduah, OON,
Honourable Minister.

source: http://www.nigerianeye.com/2013/10/n255m-car-deal-my-story-by-stella-oduah.html?m=1

Africa's child ambassador, eleven year
old Zuriel Oduwole, the Nigerian girl
making the global case for educating
the continents Girl Child and in the
process, re-branding Africa, has been
appointed an ambassador by
Tanzania's First Lady. Zuriel was in the
country last week - which was her
second county stop on her East
African leg to launch the acclaimed
Dream Up, Speak Up, Stand Up
project aimed at inspiring/encouraging
African girls.
On October 11th, Zuriel was in Dar Es
Salaam to the attend the United
Nations UNFPA event which focused
on reducing the incidence of child
marriage in Tanzania. After speaking at
the event, she was formally invited to
the office of the first lady Mrs Selma
Kikwete (Zuriel pictured with the first
lady above). Mrs Kikwete commended
Zuriel for her leadership at such a
young age, she also commended her
for bringing issues of girl's education
to several African leaders, then the
first lady formally appointed Zuriel an
ambassador for the largest foundation
focused on gender issue - Wanawake
na Maendeleo Foundation (WAMA) of
which she's the founding patron.
Zuriel was presented with an intricate
3 foot statue of unity, the same type
presented to the US president, to
symbolize the effect of Zuriel's in the
lives of Africa's young women.

source www.nigerianeye.com/2013/10/11yr-old-zuriel-oduwole-appointed.html?m=1

From the dust we came, to the dust we shall return. During your stay in this world, endeavour to do things that will affect your fellow journeyman positively. R.I.P Michael

A US woman has won a battle to have her full name put on her driving licence.Janice "Lokelani" Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele's name is so long - containing 36 letters and 19 syllables - that it would not fit on the documentation.But she says her grievance has now been redressed.Hawaii government computer systems are to be upgraded by the end of the year, allowing her to have her full name on her driving licence and ID card.At present her documentation onlyhas a truncated version of her name, because the computer system in Hawaii cannot handle more than 35 characters.Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele - whose maiden name was themore compact Worth - said that she began the campaign to get her full name on government documentation because she was shocked at the way police treated her after stopping her car."The policeman looked at my licence and saw I had no first name. I told him it is not my fault that my licence and state ID are not correct and I am trying to get itcorrected," she said."He then told me 'Well, you can always change your name back to your maiden name.' This hurt my heart."Over the last 22 years I have seen... the culture of Hawaii being trampled upon and this policeman treated my name as ifit was mumbo-jumboJanice Keihanaikukauakahihuli-heekahaunaele"Over the last 22 years I have seen... the culture of Hawaii being trampled upon and this policeman treated my name as if it was mumbo-jumbo."Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele said that the officer's attitude upset her because he was being"disrespectful of the Hawaiian people".After she brought her concerns to the governor's department, they announced that a license and an IDcard which allows her full name onit will be produced by the end of 2013.A spokeswoman for Hawaii's transport department, Caroline Sluyter, said computer systems across the state were being upgraded to accommodate longer names."We have been made aware of thatissue, and I know right now they are working to extend that limit to -I believe - 40 characters so that issue can be resolved," she said.Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele - who got her name after marrying in 1992 - said that her name had many layers of meanings including "one who would stand up and get people to focus in one direction when there was chaos and confusion, and helpthem emerge from disorder".

source: http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-24097775

A Polish man has woken up from a 19-year coma to find the Communist party no longer in power and food no longer rationed, Polish TV reports.Railway worker Jan Grzebski, 65, fell into a coma after he was hit by a train in 1988."Now I see people on the streets with mobile phones and there are so many goods in the shops it makes my head spin,"he told Polish television.He credits his survival to his wife, Gertruda, who cared for him.Doctors gave him only two or three years to live after the accident.A comatose patient is in a profound state of unconsciousness which renders them unaware of both self and the world around them, and from which they cannot be roused.Although those in a coma do not respond to stimuli in a meaningful way, contrary to popular belief they do not always lie quiet and still - in some cases they can move, open their eyes and even talk.Fall of communists"It was Gertruda that saved me, and I'll never forget it," Mr Grzebski told news channel TVN24 of his recovery.Mrs Grzebski is reported to have moved her husband every hour to prevent bed sores."I cried a lot, and I prayed a lot," Mrs Grzebski said on Polsat television."Those who came to see us kept asking: 'When is he going to die?' But he's not dead."When Mr Grzebski had his accident Poland was still ruled by its last communist leader,Wojciech Jaruzelski."When I went into a coma there was only tea and vinegar in the shops, meat was rationed and huge petrol queues were everywhere," Mr Grzebski said.The following year's elections ushered in eastern Europe's first post-communist government.Poland joined the Nato alliance in 1999 and the European Union in 2004."What amazes me today is all these people who walk around with their mobile phones and never stop moaning," said Mr Grzebski."I've got nothing to complain about."

source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6715313.stm

wot is this doing on FP?

Kslib: Damn!!! The people who lived there have really endured alot.. Wetin life wan take stone dem again wey dem never see before?
Mehn,i'm speechless!
..
All izz well!

did u just watch 3 idiots wit ur all iz well on every thread?

Back to topic: Life truly is a 2 side coin. Baba God pls alleviate their sufferings. ...AMEN

FP material.

The Football Association of Malawi (FAM) told media on Thursday that the Flames require about $121, 212 to travel to Nigeria.FAM had spent most of its annual allocation on participating in the regional Cosafa Cup held in Zambia as well as World Cup qualifiers against Kenya and Namibia.“We don’t have the required amount of money. Government has indicated the funds that were used during World Cup qualifiers against Kenya and Namibia were part of the 2013/14 national budget,” FAM general secretary Suzyo Nyirenda was quoted byNyasatimes.com.“We were not aware of this arrangement, we have been taken unaware because, to us, expenses that were incurred prior and after Kenya and Namibia games were settled by funds within the 2012/13 financial year which ended on June 31, 2013.”This unavailability of funds means theFlames will be unable to camp for four days in Botswana where they had been scheduled to play a friendlymatch against the Botswana national team.If they are unable to travel, they will forfeit the three points on offer to Nigeria and may also be punished by Fifa. However, officials remain optimistic that the government will come to the team’s rescue.

source: http://m.goal.com/x/en-ng/news/4219505

When praying to God, which should come first, Forgiveness or Thanksgiving?

kufre2010: na ur type them they dube.

u mean lucky dube or dupe?

Urine: I don hear you baba, it will be added to my CV that I once had a conversation with Ade Bendel.

u ar really funny man!
u don't need to conversate with him just once, he is a man u can always access 24/7.
He is very free as a bird!

Sometime soon, we'll be organizing a public lecture and I will invite interested nairalanders. right there you are free to ask any question u want to ask him.

Urine: Baba, I dey hail o!





*You don't need to be told...this is Ade Bendel*

lmao... this is really rib cracking!
The Ade Bendel I know is no longer a fraudster and really regretted his past.
He is now much into humanitarian services and also own a prison ministry that preaches d Gospel of Christ to inmates.