₦airaland Forum

4 Play:
I will always cherish the fact that you were prepared to be my 2nd wife. It wasn't easy recovering from the trauma of my marriage to Sisikill. I was lucky to meet 2 understanding women in you and Ruby.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You are not gonna put this on me! I asked several times, how much do you have in your bank account. . . you said you had enough. How did you expect me to react when I found out that your defination of enough is what I use to by paper towel? Did you expect me to what. . . sit on the cockroach infested couch, hugging it out and chanting "Love Conquers all?"

As if!  

[quote author=Ruby_Pearl link=topic=165719.msg2731444#msg2731444 date=1220139086]That's possible? [/quote]Lmao! Very possible, kwa!

Hannibal:
Man enough for what
What kind of romance exists between 2 geezers??
This is FUBAR!!!!

Rotflmao! I have been waiting for you all day. I know if there's one person who will be receptive to this, it's you. You know why? I'll tell you. . . because you are very very secure in you manhood and I am not joking.

KarmaMod:
Lmao. I love those two. They are so ridiculous. It's grand.

Apparently they're best frinds in real life, wonder if they're this extreme. Rofl  

I know!!! They are the best and finding out there were best friend in real life just makes it cuter. I think it's because of their real life friendship, they are able to play their guy love very well. Did you see the Punk"d Episode? Oh my God! I almost died laughing!!    

Rotflmao! It's funny to see guys who'd normally scoff at love using it as a defense for poorism. Yeah, okay love is good, blah, blah blah. . .  but it still doesn't hold water. We don't want, we are not blind anymore.

Sigh

They don't make 'em as wise as my grandmama anymore. That woman had a sign on her gate that read. . .

[size=14pt]POOR MEN KEEP OUT[/size]
If you don't got the money, don't come-a-calling. ^{Brilliant, no?}  


okay, okay she didn't but she always threatened she would.

[quote author=Ruby_Pearl link=topic=165719.msg2731385#msg2731385 date=1220138281]Sisiki, ewo tun ni bromance?[/quote]Bwahaha! The wonderful ife between Okunrin meji without a hint of gay ni nu e.

KarmaMod:
What do you consider their friendship to be?

Even Carla gets jealous of it.

Speaking of. . . watch this scene, I crack up everytime.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTGv8xTByio&feature=related

olrotimi:
shit!

tpia:
You're coming across as being very sensitive on behalf of the gay cause. I don't know if its intentional or not.

ok, now just like it would not be considered abnormal in the west for a parent to warn their kids about talking to strangers, or avoiding unknown characters just to be on the safe side, why are people being attacked for showing caution regarding gay mannerisms? Two kids falling on top of each other, is no reason to panic, agreed (maybe). But there's no reason to criticize parents who are concerned about their children's exposure. You don't know what they've seen or heard.


The fact that handholding and the like, used to have no gay connotation, doesnt mean men have to jump up and start holding hands singing kumbaya or the YMCA song just to prove they're cool with it. If it didnt have a gay meaning back then, or in Nigeria, doesnt mean it can't have one today, or in the west.

Not every man feels the need to hold hands with other men.

Let me put it this way: more often than not in the west, its the openly gay people you see holding hands everywhere. This holding of hands is often accompanied by other gay stuff. How's that for imprint.

So if people see this, then why blame them for associating it with the gay lifestyle- its what the gays themselves use to express their affection for each other.

So I understand this right, you are calling for a Hetro ban on everything that might be associated with gay lifestyle. Hmmm, yeah okay. . . good luck with that.

Again with this hand holding turning someone gay? Are you joking with this? Jeebus!!!

Ihuoma85:
So the bottom line is that bromance is the same as male bestfriends?

Yep! Bromance is the celebration of the little known fact that two heterosexual men, who are the bestest of best buds, can in fact experience 'Guy Love.'

[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=165719.msg2729807#msg2729807 date=1220117978]Oh my!! Oh Dear Moremi the powerful one, do not ask for my head on this occassion, I shall send Iyalode over for a bromance time with you. Keep her for the weekend if you find her company loving and delightful.  [/quote]Without a doubt, I'll find her company loving and delightful despite the fact that we're both ladies. . . I am not a Naija guy after all  

In retrospect I should have waited to see the gays in here come out and self-identify. I'D love to share that fun with you.  Don't worry I will make it up to you.  

Gays come out? In this environment. . . where mere thought of two straight as a ruler guys holding hands causes shouts of "Off with their heads?" Oh Sensei, you just made a funny! Nicely Done!! 

Whispering

But sensei, you gotta belive me, i wasn't really calling for gays, I was calling for manly men.

God Bless you!!!  In an episode with few of them not too long ago, Karma reminded me that homosexuality is as old as prostitution and for me to chill and leave them alone.  True, I don't bother them if they contain it but I have problem, as do most other people, when they broadcast their lifestyles.  You are correct, sometimes we over react to it and I am guilty of that too sometimes.

We all are and it is sad.

rotflmao,   

   

Now I have go watch a guy dodge the bullet of Bromance by getting married. Don't miss me too much 

OluwaKANYE:
ask sisikill

i'm not saying all the women are lesbians and i don't pray it happens   only wondering why your so called "showing affections" to your fellow woman is more accepted than men doing same

Ask me what? What did I miss. . . please tell me, tell me.

The part of your post in bold is exactly what I am talking about!!!

If guys embraced bromance, they will flood society's senses with guys showing affection to one another (and since in reality women's affection does not consist of handling and cry and handling and more handling we don't mean this kind of affection) and by so doing, making it acceptable.

Now will you join me in pushing PROPOSITION BROMANCE through?

tpia:
seriously though- why are you castigating straight people on behalf of the gay cause?

What about gays who are always on the lookout for people to recruit to their lifestyle- any words for them? Or are they the victims, therefore they have immunity to being held responsible for anything they do.

Gay causes? Recruiting people to the gay life style? Asking for guys to be open with each other is suddenly castigating straight people? Are you serious? Pray tell what you'd call it if I said all straight guys deserve to be mowed down because they are not gay? Okay, I see that this is no longer on the playful side and so I will repeat it again, this time very seriously. . .

I am not promoting Homosexuality.
Asking for guys to stop jumping out of their skins when another guy mistakenly brushes against them is NOT PROMOTING HOMOSEXUALITY.
Saying it is the stigma attributed to two guys having a friendship that goes beyond the superficial is wrong, is  NOT PROMOTING HOMOSEXUALITY

I don't think I can be clearer than that. What I am having trouble being clear on, however, is how in this day and age, with all we know. . . some people actually believe the simple act of holding hands with another guy can lead to homosexuality or that any right thinking person who knows who he is can be recruited into being gay, this is beyond sad. . . it is heartbreaking and quite frankly, there is no point for further discussion. Althought, it does make me wonder if those so rigidly opposed to it are doing so out of some uncertainty.

Funnily enough, I realize it is you I have to thank for proving my point that it's not the acts (holding hands, saying I love you, going to dinner etc) that are corrupt but the mind.

tpia:
Hollywood actually isnt a good point of reference.

Anyone can come out of the closet anytime.

Note: I'm not saying any of the above people are gay.

In any case, all I'm saying here is friendship doesnt equal bromance.


We are all Nigerians here. (or at least most of us are).

How would you feel if your dad or brother constantly holds hands with other guys most of the time, and tells them I love you?

I mean, lets not go overboard with this matter. I love you isnt the alpha and omega of life. Its important, yes, but I personally don't need to hear it every minute of the day, for example.

LOL! I am not saying the should be holding hands every single minute and saying I love you after every third sentence. I am saying they shouldn't be so rigidly opposed to holding hands and saying I love you. That's it. . . I promise you!

Why would I want my brothers to be gay? It makes no sense.  

[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=165719.msg2729485#msg2729485 date=1220113585]I broke out laughing when I saw this one.  No doubt I understand what you are saying and I am sure a lot of other men do too, but I am not sure you are going to get many truthful responses.  I said that because of the language.  In the way this is written, the language is leaning to the homosexual side, even by Nigerian standards.  

Moremi, I attended an all boys boarding school.  When we see the tendencies you just described, either on school grounds or out in town we don't hesitate to issue warning to the parties observed in those clumsy entwines. If they desist they are asking for trouble big time! This is nothing but homosexuality tendencies and they get beaten and harrassed out of the dormitories and the school. The few ones that went through this ended up transferring to another school.

Guys do fraternalize.  It is healthy for gender bonding but it is also a natural instinct in us that happens in stages. It cannot be equated with the manner in which females bond.  If a boy has homosexuality, it will become apparent in the teenage years in the way he expresses emotions and sexuality.  What you described here is homosexuality, not boys fraternity.  

Stage 1:

Boyhood playmate - It starts when the boys are observed hanging together rolling marbles on the pavement, playing ludo on the porch, kicking soccer balls up and down the street or racing against one another with their spoked wheels heading on an errand to the market or the store. When you see them together, one with a catapult hanging from his pocket and the other with pocket full of stones, you can bet pretty soon some animal is going to end up t'e'r'r"o'r.i-zed or dead.  They compete on who can hit target and get a kill. Leave them alone, they are practicing how to hunt and in few years they will need to apply that skill in some other aspect of social interaction.

Stage 2:

Teenage Company - Guy to guy share of interests and secrets. Plans on breaking laws and violating rules are strategized and executed together. Together they lay claim to a territorial boundary and in a designated area within their community, this is the bully zone and other teenagers and their brothers must bow down to authority when in this zone. Their refusal to acknowledge the seemingly political control will be interpreted as a challenge and will lead to a physical confrontation. This is show off time for the girls; a parade of aggression and manhood, power and control. They compete on who can get what girl and lay with her. They appear together at parties.  When they start dating, they pick girls in the neighborhood that are equally close and when you see the guys you see their girls also. This is a transforming stage.

Stage 3:

Manhood stage - More independent, college life and new interests has groomed him for a new outlook on life. Still in touch with friend/s but at a distance. New girlfriend and all into her, she is all that matters and he wants to please her but suspicious of her smothering affections and reluctant to completely bond with her but at the same time doesn't want to lose her, she is good, makes him feel whole and responsible. New interests, new friendships.  Circle of friendships have widened and interaction with them all demand time. New job, new assignments, new acquaintances, gradually loose friends and make new ones. This is the point where the man to man bonding gives way to man to woman bonding.  

Stage 4:

Family - Married and raising family.  Family, Job and community become primary concern. New acquaintances, family friends, lifelong bondings develop. Start to witness in his children the same cycle and stages in life that he has gone through and it becomes intolerable to accept.[/quote]Oooooh Sensei! You just had to come throw a wrench in my fun! I knew there was NO WAY on this earth any Naija guy will admit to this and needling them about it was gonna be my saturday funsie. LOL

I understand the stages and priorities, I do but there is something so rigid about male friendship that is so uncomfortable to watch (and I know no one is forcing me to), apart from that. . . this automatic leap people make from guys being close to being gay is quiet disconcerting.

It is my opinion that if things are allowed to run their course, we might get back some semblance of normalcy. Two little boys were playing the other day and they fell on top of each other, something so random and normal but if you had seen the way the adults around them yelled at them (the poor boys) you'd think they were doing something else. What these adults have inadvertently done is put the idea that there something wrong about two boys touching each other, this creates a curiosity in the boys  and unfettered curiosity can be very dangerous. I see responses like yeah back in Nigeria it wasn't an issue. . . why make it one now? Except of course on the plane ride out of Nigeria, a burst of gay wind blew and turned them gay. It is not the act of Bromance that is corrupt, it is our mind.

It's funny you mentioned marriage because I read an article which stated that delay in marriage accounts for the increase in Bromances. Oh! Oh! Do you hear that? Yep, it's the sound of all single Naija guys running to propose to their girlfriends.    

StephenP:
LOL I just don't drink at all . . . I know that's hard to believe but that's what it is.

I don't know, you tell me . . . you have to admit though you ladies cry for no reason, then when one start crying, another joins, then another joins soon every woman in the movie theater is crying.

Dang . . . I didn't mean handling in that sense _{but I won't mind though LOL} I guess that handling thing came out wrong.

I believe you, I don't drink either. The closest I've come to anything that looks remotely alcoholic is a virgin daiquri and you should see the looks I get. LOL

I don't know how to counter this idea you guys have of women? So what. . . you think the moment there are more than two of us in one place, we just start undressing for handling and cry? LMOA! Have I said how much I loooove the way you guys think!!!  

OluwaKANYE:
of course, have you asked yourself why lesbianism is easily overlooked and even accepted unlike gayism

Lol! Jeebus! This is too much! If the women are lesbians and the guys are straight, guess who loses out? Yep, that's right you guys do. . . how do you like them apples?  

Examples of Celebrities in Bromance

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
George Clooney and Brad Pitt
Matt Damon, George Clooney, Don cheadle and Brad Pitt
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaugn, Ben Stiller
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez
Justin Timberlake and Trace Ayala,

Can anyone deny their Manliness? I think not!

I guess that's why it's easier for them to embrace their Bromance.  God! There is just something so freaking sexy about a man who is so confident in his manhood, he has no problem being free with his guy friends


PS
Please exclude Justine Timberlake from the umbrella of manliness.

tpia:
I already did.

My response remains the same- no need to label friendship. Guys already have deep friendships with each other.

She's just describing a normal thing.

However, telling them they are practicing "bromance", may make them end the relationship altogether. Or else wonder at the motives of the person telling them that.

LMAO. . . are you serious? Why should it matter IF they are already doing those things?

Men are cowards.

onyinye2:
You are really something. . . sisi But yeah i have friends who are women and i have never been fondled or the fondlier so im wondering where this came from.

You do NOT want to know what goes on in these men's heads. They believe all women should be lesbians and all men are should be straight, the fact that it makes no sense, does not matter. This is why they imagine us taking showers together, handling each other, lying in bed together and every other lesbian fantasy they can come up with

onyinye2:
Oka i have male friends in which i have known my whole lives. The four of us are family and like sometimes i have heard one of them tell the other "i love you" and it was just that. They are not gay or "sweet" for doing so. They are family.

Please keep telling them for me!!

I don't get it, I just don't get it. . . Why is it so hard to understand?

StephenP:
LOL it's funny cause I ask for just water or soda.

Why is it because you don't drink at all or because you think asking for wine will make you come off as. . . a li'l fruity? 

OluwaKANYE:
yes they were. it' just the way people view things now which is because things were different then from what we have now.

Aaah! I see being viewed as gay automatically makes one gay, ko?

In that case, I'm sorry oh. . . I won't push Bromance anymore.

StephenP:
You ladies have your kind of "deep friendship" which involves spending time alone with yourselves, handling each other, sitting on each other, hugging each other, crying with each other and all that and that is cool because you're generally more emotional than we are. We men have our own sense of deep friendship which involves ordering pizza, watching a game together, going to the Chinese restaurant down the street to get something to eat while talking about current girls we're dating, playing basketball/soccer/football together, going to the club together and all that. That is just what we do. We can go to the movies together as long as it's a really good movie like Batman, saying "I love you" is a red flag unless he is your dad or maybe brother and/or he did something extraordinary but nevertheless, it shouldn't be said with emotion like you'D say to a girl, it is should just be said.

ROTFLMAOPIMP. . .  Stephen, I can't stop laughing! Is that what you guys think we do? Cry and handle each other? I don't know what to say right now. . . maybe it's because I have questions. So are we crying because we're being fondled or are we fondled because we were crying?    

A quotes from a book called Men's Friendship

The opportunities to get close to another man, to share and talk about their feelings, are not available after a certain age. The concern about being perceived as gay is one of the major complications of socializing one on one, many straight men acknowledge.

Before women were considered men's equals, some gender historians say, men routinely confided in and sought advice from one another in ways they did not do with women, even their wives.

Then, these scholars say, two things changed during the last century: an increased public awareness of homosexuality created a stigma around male intimacy, and at the same time women began encroaching on traditionally male spheres, causing men to become more defensive about notions of masculinity."

Awwww, poor guys! Well know this now. . .  You don't have to be defensive anymore. I say call up your bromantic partner, go out to dinner in a fancy restaurant and when the waiter asks what you'd like to drink, instead of say beer or asking for the hardest liqour they have. . . say "I'll have some wine, please"  

tpia:
Why should a man agree to some label just because a woman (not even another man oh) wants to pin him with it?

Must men now hold hands with other men even if they don't normally do so? Or do all these so-called "Bromantic" things?

This info is useful to gays who are trying to deliver themselves from seeing most guys as sex objects. It doesnt really apply to the average man, imo.

Lol, please see Onyinye's response on the Bromance thread.

onyinye2:
I think it depends on the maturity of the men involved. As i said before. . . . i have been bestfriends with these men since i was like four. So we are basically family. So when they say "I love you" to each other, it doesn't faze me because they are that close. To generalize and say that "In The West You are considered gay" then you obviously fit the category of

1. You have not been in the West that long

2. You watch too many movies

3. You aren't mature enough to understand and get passed gay phobia.

Oh my God! Onyinye, the Lord that gifted you with such maturity and understanding will not depart from you!!

You have said EVERYTHING. . . nothing more, nothing less!

Thank You!!

OluwaKANYE:
With the way everything is going in the western world, everything you do to your fellow man is regarded as gay, gay this, gay that, very soon guys would stop showing themselves love in order to avoid being labeled gays. I remember back in Naija, guys hang out together, sleep together on the same bed and do several things together. Try that here, and you would see everybody gradually moving away from you. _{it doesn't mean i support your idea of bromance}

And didn't they look so happy and free spirited back then compared to how tightly wound up they are today?

Why is wanting happy and free spirited suddenly wrong?

tpia:
the problem is, they already have deep friendships with each other- why are you assuming they don't?

And why does it bother you so much?

Just asking.  

Lmao! Oh yeah, they do? Then why are they fainting at the mere thought going out one on one with their friends? It bothers me because I loooove my brothers and I want the best for them. ^{*Sobbing Gently*}I want them to be comfortable, It pains me when I see them jumping out of their skins when another guy mistakenly brushes against them. I want the fear of being called a wuss to stop hanging over their heads. Like all other women who saw the suffering of others and decided to do something about it, I also have decided to help my lovely brother making them understand that being a BROMANTIC is okay!

BE MAN (SECURE) ENOUGH IN YOUR MANHOOD.
EMBRACE BROMANCE TODAY!!!!  

onyinye2:
I do think such a thing exist. Like the guys i hang out with. . . . . . we (three guys and me) have been friends since we were about four years old. So sometimes i have seen one of them tell eachother that they love them and it was just that. And sometimes the three of them go places just hang. They are that close.

Oyinye thank you oh! With the way these guys are carrying on, you'll think I'm asking them to be mare to another guy's stud.

The Sly:
''Mouth wide open''
''Faints''

Rotflmao. . . fainting? Oh Sly,  that is so gay!  


I can NOT believe it is taking this much work convincing guys to have more than superficial friendships with other guys! What is going on with our world?  

debosky:
You don't get it - men and women who are shagging each other's  brains out still don't tongue kiss or caress or handle in public, so unfortunately, those little cues like hand holding, whispering into each other's ears (I mean men not kids here and all remain the best markers for alerting the gaydar. 

Men love other men already, it is a patently feminine expression of love to take a man on a date and focus attention on him over candles and dinner. A fellow man doesn't need that kind of attention before he knows he's loved.

If I miss an Arsenal game just to help my mate paint his apartment, then that is a greater expression of love than 1million dates and 'i love yous' can ever express.

tpia:
Men don't need permission to have deep friendships with each other. Its normal.

The gay meanings being used in normal situations, are used in the gay lifestyle. Its not people reading meanings into anything- its what gays themselves do, and are fully aware of. Regular, ordinary, casual contact can have a different significance depending on whether someone is gay or straight.

The Nigerian context is different from the western one. If someone is dating a guy in the west, who is always holding hands with other guys, she'D better be careful.

Which is why the question is ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO EMBRACE BROMANCE? If you are secure enough in your manhood, no amount of Gaydars pinging when you walk by will make a difference.

And you don't have to miss a game. . . that's why you set up you man-date in advance. 

The Sly:
Abi Oooooooooh! 
What wont i see. . . . .Bromance?
Tsssssssssssssssssssew! Bromance ko. . . . . Sismance ni. 

LOL, Sly you are cracking me up! We already have Sismance, that's why there's call for Bromance. Why do you guys wanna miss out on the many things you can gain from being open. . . truly open with each other.

Sly for the sake of emotional growth, turn to your best friend, look him in the eyes and say "I LOVE YOU BRO" 

tpia:
HABA!!!!!!!!!!

Karma and Sisikill- are you really using JD and Turk as examples?

is this a joke?

LMAO! What is wrong with JD and Turk? I love how open they are with each other and it is why JD can be the way he is because his friend, the person whose opinion matters to him accepts him for what he is. Of course their behavior is exagerrated for entertainment but the message is not lost.

The Sly:
Forgive them lord for they know not what they are doing. . . . . . . . .
I can clearly envisage the end time.  

Rotflmao! Oh Sly. . . .end times just because there is a call for men to be free with other men?

I'll repeat BROMANTICS ARE NOT GAY!!

shuppie:
there is nothing like bromance. friendship is friendship, it does not need to be labelled as such. the word bromance will always makes some people uncomfortable.  goodness gracious, men in Africa re expected to hardcore not some softies. ok u can love your brothers, friends no big deal, but uttering the word 'i love you' when is not necessary is weird. imo.

You think saying a guy saying I love you to another guy is unneccesary? You say don't define friendship but aren't you defining love by deeming man-to-man I love yous unncessary?

debosky:
Bromance ke?

You naija women keep creating problems for yourselves - one minute you are complaining naija men have not shown enough romance to the women, you want to further reduce the available romance by telling them to extend it to their fellow brothers? 

Man wey never decide to wine and dine his chick will do that for his buddy 

Dream on - naija men rarely even wine and dine when they are seeking only sex, not to talk of 'pointless' romancing of a fellow guy.

Not now, not for a long time to come. 

LOL! Maybe if man wey never wine and dine another woman, practice on his fellow man, he will be comfortable enough to do it. Deep down, men want to impress other guys, that's why they go for the pretty girls, the fastest cars, the better jobs. Men will do anything not to be embarrased in front of other guys, now think about it. . . if a guys can be mushy with other guys then being mushy with women will not be a problem, will it?

When a guy is COMFORTABLE with himself, he won't have problem with women. For the good of all, embrace BROMANCE today!! 

tpia:
you can't beat gays at their own game, trust me.

Its a mindset, not just a set of rules.

You are misunderstanding me, it is not the gays. I honestly couldn't careless about them (I'm not homophobic or at least I think I'm not), it is about changing our mindset and stop seeing things where there is nothing to see. Why read meaning into something as innocent as guys holding hands? Why not wait until they are tongue kissing, caressing and handling each other before jumpng to conclusions?

Let our men be free to have deep friendship with other men.