₦airaland Forum

ehie007:
Sisikill, thanks for your commendations.

The ladies/girls we av nowadys are killing, its only natural for men to react to what they see. even if they don't want to react their little Johns will react(if u know what i mean). see more pics of y men will cheat.

Men were made to be moved by what they see.

Wives should also understand this, so they should as well be dressing sexy at home so that it can reduce the no of attempts their hubby will go outside.


with women dresses like this below, even me go look twice or thrice

Rotflmao. . .
How do I love a man who accepts he IS weak?
A Man who does not pretend he can control his sexual urges?
A Man who knows the mere sight of  a woman's boobies can render him useless for the rest of the day?
Let me count the ways. . .

By the way, YOU ARE VERY WELCOME 

Oh my Goodness! You guys are the best. . .the very best! Thanks for the Youtube Videos, makes learning the songs so much easier. I wish I knew how to add a video link but I'll try,

Only A God like You
For the praises of man
I will never ever stand
For the kingdoms of this world
I'll never give my heart away
Oh shout my praise
My allegiance and devotion
My heart's desire and all emotion
Go to serve the Man
Who died upon that tree

Only a God like You
Could be worthy of my praise
And all my hope and faith
To only a King of all kings
Do I bow my knee and sing
Give my everything

Only a God like You
Could be wothy of my praise
And all my hope and faith
To only a King of all kings
Do I bow my knee and sing
Give my everything

To only my Maker my Father my Savior
Redeemer Restorer Rebuilder Rewarder
To only a God like You
Do I give my praise


Only the God Who left His throne above
He came to live with us
Come to be one of us
Who stopped to heal that blind man
Took the time to save that one last lamb
To only the King Who wore that crown of thorns
So I could wear the crown of life
And to only the One Who conquered sin and death
So we could be set free
So we could stand here and sing

Only a God like You
Only a God like You
Only a God like You

To only my Maker my Father my Savior
Redeemer Restorer Rebuilder Rewarder
To only a God like You
Do I give my praise
I give my praise



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr117slPVEg

Oy Vey. This had to be a new thread? If I'm not mistaken, the thread below talks about the same issue. Oh well, here goes,

1.Feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his rich brother.  

2. feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his brother's wealth.    

3. characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.  

4. inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.
 
5. solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something: The American people are jealous of their freedom.  

6. Bible. intolerant of unfaithfulness or rivalry: The Lord is a jealous God. 

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/jealous

As you can see, it is clearly not a good characteristic when it is directed at another human being. God being Jealous is understandable, after all He IS God, the creator of mankind. If your partner equals to God in your eyes (which for some people is actually true). . .then go ahead and be as jealous as you want.

And by the way, these are the Synonyms for Jealousy

Anxious, apprehensive, attentive, begrudging, covetous, demanding, doubting, emulous, envious, envying, grabby, grasping, green, green-eyed, grudging, guarded, intolerant, invidious, jaundiced, jelly, mistrustful, monopolizing, possessory, protective, questioning, resentful, rival, skeptical, solicitous, suspicious, vigilant, wary, watchful, yellow-eyed, zealous

Please tell me which one of these sound like an appealing characteristic to have for a fellow human being?!!!!!!!

degubi:
Firstly ask yourself why am i jealous? Is my jealousy progressive or retrogressive,is it for my own satisfaction or for his/her own benefit? Are u jealous because u see him/her wasting her time on what will not be beneficial to his/her present or future or are u jealous because he/she is moving up in life or being ambitious and u feel threathened? It all has to do with motives behind our action, even love can have a negative side to it if not done properly,so search your heart always and ensure that whenever u are jealous it is for the right reasons.

Nice!

Why? Who needs unnecessary high blood pressure? It's so funny how some people think being jealous is the ultimate sign that they love their partner. Oh it might be cute in the beginning. . ."Aww, he loves me so much he does not want me out of his sight" but soon, very soon it's gets annoying. Jealousy is childish and it shows how insecure the other person is.

Macgreat:
It's a new world we are living in people. . .

Everything is growing in techinology. . .The guy should get reward for inventing this way of proposing to a woman. .
some people do have what is called phone intimacy right? . . why not phone proposal. . . please the this world advance in everything people and lets appreciate new ideas     

The girls shouldn't have over reacted to this lovely proposal. . .to me it's the most romantic thing ever  . . .the guy try for even picking the phone to say to her "honey will you marry me" i think that is very brave    


LORD HAVE MERCY. . . 

I agree. . .just as long as some people (and I mean guys) don't start taking liberty with it. You can see them going. . .

"Honey, let's go to dinner. . .is your webcam working? What? We don't have to be in the same restaurant to have dinner together. Everything is growing in technology now,  Please the world is advancing in everything people and lets appreciate new ideas. Bring out the webcam oh jare."

Are you sanely sane?

Lmao. . .as opposed to what? Insanely Sane or Sanely Insane? Insanely Insane? Insane Insanely?

Have I mentioned how much I love nairaland? Well ah do! ah do!!

Proposing on the Phone ke? Lol, Orisirisi . .  .You know what, maybe we shouldn't be too quick to bring out the sharpened stake. There might be a good reason for it. . .like he's in another country where he was hoping to make his fortune and now he's stuck there because he does not have the nnecessarypapers and if he comes home, he won't be able to make it back. . .something like that.

Actually I wouldn't mind that at all. . .it IS better than [I]"I've finally decided to marry you" [/I] Lol. . .that one still kills me. Anyway, I've always imagined what I'd do if my guy got down on his knees and asked me to marry him and honestly all I see is me bursting out laughing at the whole image (Come on! it’s ridiculous enough on TV not to talk of real life, let's not even bring the corny as h*ll factor into it. Tee hee hee). I seriously doubt me laughing while he’s on his knee will bode well for his fragile ego (he IS a guy, after all) so I think it's best if he did it over the phone but knowing the dynamics of our relationship, it's probably going to be during one of our passionate sparring . . .verbal spars oh, not the knock down drag out fights. We do have a lot of that (again the verbal sparring), not in a serious way mind you but just to get our juices flowing, if ya know what I mean.

Phone Proposal. . .not that bad. What will be horrible is "I've finally decided to marry you" on the phone or We aren't getting any younger, we might as well do it. . .on the phone. Rotflmao!!!

By the way I hate that song with a passion.

nwando:
You are great
you do miracles so great
there is no one else like you
there is no one else like you

I like this one too,

You deserve the glory and the honor.
I lift my hands in worship, and I bless Your holy name.
You deserve the glory and the honor.
I lift my hands in worship, and I bless Your holy name.

Chorus:
For You are great. You do miracles so great.
There is no one else like You. There is no one else like You.
You are great. You do miracles so great.
There is no one else like You.
There is no- one else like You.

This next one always follows the top one in my head. I can't sing one without the other

You are Awesome in This Place
As I come into Your presence
Past the gates of praise
Into Your sanctuary
Til we're standing face to face
I look upon Your countenance
I see the glory of Your Holy face
I can only bow down and say,

You are awesome in this place, Mighty God
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father
You are worthy of all praise
To You our hands we raise
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God


With all these songs, maybe we should form our own nairaland Choir. . .as long a I am in the back, back, with my microphone turned off. I can't carry a tone if my life depended on it. . . which is really sad because I love to sing.

Alright I'm done. . .I promise.

I think I'm getting just a little carried away with these songs but how can you not? There are soooo many beautiful songs  to choose from, Christian music composers are TA.LEN.TED. Honestly, You have to have a deeper level of Love for Christ to write like they. . . anyway, these are a couple from my favorite CD. I'm adding a link in case anyone is interested.

http://www.amazon.com/Worship-Together-Could-Sing-Forever/dp/B000084TRN


God of Wonder

Lord of all creation
of water earth and sky
The heavens are your Tabernacle
Glory to the Lord on high

Chorus:
God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are Holy, Holy
The universe declares your Majesty
And you are holy holy

Lord of Heaven and Earth
Lord of Heaven and Earth

Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
When i stumble in the darkness
I will call your name by night

chrous
lord of heaven and earth
lord of heaven and earth

Hallelujah to the lord of heaven and earth (repeate 3 times)

holy, holy, holy god,

Chorus

Precious lord reveal your love to me,
Father holy,
(background), Lord god almighty,

The "universe" declares your majesty
"you are" holy,holy,holy,holy
Halleujah to the lord of heaven and earth 9x


Forever
Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise

With a mighty hand
and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
Forever

Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Foerver you are with us
Forever
And ever
Yeah

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
Forever
You are God,
Forever
And ever and ever ,

This Last one is not on the CD I gave the link to

My Life Belongs to You
You are my God, there is none other,
You stand alone as Lord of all,
giver of life, peace, and prosperity,
Lord, You are Lord of all.

Chorus 1
My life belongs to You,
my life belongs to You,
my life belongs to You.

My life belongs to You,
my life belongs to You,
my life belongs to You.

Bridge
I will praise You with all of my heart,
I will praise You with all of my strength,
I will praise You with all of my life 'cause You are Lord.

Chorus

Ending
And I will praise You with all of my heart,
I will praise You with all of my strength,
I will praise You with all of my life, You are Lord.
You are Lord, You are Lord, You are Lord.

Someone help me out here, how come the word M u s l i m (I had to space the letters out) appears as a great one in preview? I was going to write "not bad for a m u s l I m" (in response to someone who said he didn’t know there were a lot of Christian on Nairaland) and it came out "Not bad for a great one". Thank God I did preview, can you imagine the flack I'll get if some people thought I was referring to myself as the Great one? Yikes! The police will have a hard time putting together pieces of my body (I Kid, I Kid . . . you all are a lovely bunch)

Another request . . .is it possible to get links to some of these songs, so those of us who want to learn won’t have problem doing so? Thanks in Advance and thanks to all who contributed and the one who started the thread.

[B]Refiner's Fire[/B]

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold
Refiner's fire

My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my Master
Ready to do Your will


[B]Lord you are God[/b]
Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever  
Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever

People from every nation and tongue
From generation to generation  
We worship you , Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We worship you , For who you are (repeat)  

You are Good
Vamp: You are good , all the time
All the time, you are good (repeat)  

We Worship You
Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever
Lord you are good and your mercy endureth forever  
People from every nation and tongue
From generation to generation  
We worship you , Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We worship you , For who you are (repeat)  
You are Good

Vamp: You are good , all the time
All the time, you are good (repeat)

Oh. . . I looooove this thread. Please excuse any repeats. . .I've not read the entire thread yet (which will be the sensible thing to do but hey I've never been accused of being sensible. . . So I guess I'm good.)

Anyway, my three all time Favorite Christian Songs in no Particular order,

[B]Friend of God[/B]

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing

(Chorus)
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

God Almighty, Lord of Glory
You have called me friend
(Repeat Chorus)

He calls me friend
He calls me friend,

[B]THE HEART OF WORSHIP LYRICS[/B]

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

Bridge:
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Verse 2:
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

Bridge:
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus


[B]ABOVE ALL[/B]
Above all powers
Above all kings
Above all nature
And all created things
Above all wisdom
And all the ways of man
You were here
Before the world began

Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders
The world has ever known
Above all wealth
And treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure
What You're worth

CHORUS
Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like the rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Like the rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all


There's another one but I'm not sure about the lyrics. . .

[B]In the Morning[/B]

In the morning when I wake up
I know your love was there for me
At the break of each new day
I know something something

My Lord, my God
It's in you I live and trust(?)
All that I have it comes from you
All that I am you made me to be
Your praise isn't far for me
It's right there on my lips

Jesus, Jesus it is with much pleasure
that I praise your name
Jesus, Jesus it is with much pleasure
That I praise your name

The birds of the air the sing unto you
The leaves on they tree they clap their hands
The hills and the moutains the burst into songs
So why shouldn't I praise your name?

Jesus, Jesus it is with much pleasure
That I praise your name
Jesus, Jesus it is with much pleasure
That I praise you name.

Pls excuse any typo

Good Question, let's break it down shall we. . .
In a relationship, A guy

Lords over their girlfriends/wife - Obey his Au.tho.Ri.ty or he'll accuse her of not submitting to him as the Bible instructs.
Can have all the sex they want with or without their girlfriends - Body no be wood now
Is waited on hand and foot by their slaves. . .err. . .I mean their lovely girlfriends (because the sad women have been brainwashed into thinking husband is scarce)
Believes compromise is only a word in the dictionary.
Never takes responsibility for his failings. . .why should he? After all the women there to be blamed for everything
Goes and comes as they place. . .They who must not be questioned.

You ARE right oh, look how much these men suffer. Eeeya, I think this calls for a party to celebrate men. They soooooo deserve it. I'll buy the cake.

Ambu:
My friend who is of age to start a family is to choose between her marriage and her career which one do u advice she takes more important.
She is getting married to a nice guy she met in her office. Now, one of them will have to quit the job which of course is the woman. So house, what do u think? Marriage or career?

Why can't she have both?

There's nothing wrong with a woman quitting her job. She should just be ready to beg her husband for money every month to buy Sanitary Pads. . .the cheap ones too, because it's his money that[b] he [/b] alone worked hard for (while sat on her fat behind doing nothing at home) so he can't afford to have it wasted on frivolous things. In fact, I'd suggest she stock up on Toilet Roll, since he probably won't understand why she needs pads when she can use tissue to "shuck eh"

Best of Luck to your friend.

[quote author=NiyiRocks! link=topic=6102.msg2063926#msg2063926 date=1205759801]On her deathbed. Need fear no backlash cz she can't cause no more pain. [/quote]Tee hee hee.

Is this secret from the past going to affect your present and future with your new partner? If Yes. . .Then I'd go with ASAP but if no. . . I say what is the point of creating unneccesary drama?

Now, If it does comes out. . . you can always play it off like  "Oh that! I didn't even remember. . .that's how unimportant it is" and if they want to make a big deal about it (especially women with our "Oh I don't think I can trust you anymore, what else are you hiding from me. . .blah, blah, blah" just tell them it's not like you two had a "Confession Day" and you delibarately ommited it, it just never came up and then (this is very important, okay) punctuate it with "It's not like YOU have have told me everything from your past". . .that ought to shut them up in no time. Should you get someone who wants to start a revelation marathon instead of shutting up. . .You're on your own with that one. Sorry.

Good Luck.

@ ehie007
I forgot to reward you o jare. . . A Thousand  for you my lovely.

@ ehie007
I don't know who you are but can I just say I'm LOVING YOU RIGHT NOW. Seriously, your post with the pictures and everything is soooo on point! You've made a very good case and it confirms what the problem here is. . .

MEN ARE LACKING SELF-CONTROL (undisciplined as someone mentioned earlier)

THEY ARE NOT RULED BY THEIR HEADS At least not the one attached to their necks

THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO GBON ORI WON, BODA SE E FE. . .Saying yes to anything and everything in sight.

THEIR EGO IS CONNECTED TO THEIR ABUNNA – The more women they sleep with, the bigger their ego gets

In light of this, I can't help but feel sorry for guys oh. Can you imagine living a life where it takes only a woman in short skirt or a little peek onto the chest area to make you take leave of your senses? Yikes!!!

*Gets down on both knees and Thanks the Almighty God I’m a woman*

From now on, I promise to go easy on men. . .getting on their cases is like insulting a blind person for wearing mismatched clothes. Hmmm, you know what, that might be an unfair comparison. . . considering some blind people don't allow their handicap to rule them but  that's all I've got now, the alternative will be to compare them to animals but I don't want to do that. . .despite all of these, I still love my Naija men, you know the whole Monkey e no fine but him mama like am.

@ choco4life
Rotflmao. . . Do you mean it? Do you really think I'm a Chauvinist? Lol. . . THANK YOU! I've always wanted to be called that, see It's all part of my "What is good for the goose is good or even better for the gander" mindset. I mean If a man can be chauvinist, why can't a woman be one too? WHY NOT?!

You're too sweet. 

Rotflmao. . . Abi oh.

@ bawomolo
Rotflmao. . . I guess you've not been reading all the other cheating threads, eh?

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She didn't jump into bed fast enough for him when he demanded sex.

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She couldn't keep her youthful figure after having his baby.

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She's always too tired because she's up from dusk till dawn taking care of the house, the children, te-ing the breakfast, lunch and dinner table for the king of the house while he sits on his behind, watching TV because God forbid he helps her out, thunder will strike him down.

The man cheats. . . It's the woman's fault now and forever.

So yeah, Why Not?!!

Oh are we doing the Bible thing? Me too I have one

(Ephesians 5:25-33a)
[B] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does the church[/b]

Let's be honest, if men loved their wives like they do themselves, majority of the topic we have on the romance section. . . Why do men/wome cheat, why don't women's submit, why do people lose interest and all. . . will not exist, on the other hand, what will be talk about on Nairaland? Life will be boring fa. . . Tee hee hee.

@Poster
Because they are not illiterates,

@ prince_onx
Gbem! Gbem!!

Tee hee hee

[quote author=®~^Sly^~® link=topic=119443.msg2059814#msg2059814 date=1205603236]Ohh ohhh here goes one of them. . . [/quote]Tee hee

[quote author=prince_onx link=topic=119443.msg2059689#msg2059689 date=1205599355]I have never ever ever heard or seen a married WOMAN cheating on their husband! Have you? I don't think so cux it will NEVER EVER happen! its all MEN's fault! tell me I'm RIGHT.[/quote]LOL, What is good for the goose is good or even better for the gander, no? 

And it IS the man's fault if she cheats. The poor woman probably thought "Hey, why not?".

As a matter of fact, I say to those women who don't want to divorce depite their husbands cheating, WHY NOT? Why not go out there and look for your own pleasure? These men assume they are the only ones whose needs aren't satisfied in the marriage. Think about it, there are two people in this,  so it's safe to assume if one person isn't satisfied, the other won't be either. Why not  implement the "Do your own, I do my own" mindset, and everyone lives happily ever after. (I swear, I love happy endings)

Of course it is at this juncture men will start thumping the bible and screaming "Adultery is Baaaaaad! Adultery is a Siiiiiiiiiiiiiin! Think about the Childreeeeeeeen"  LOL, Give me a break!

LOL, I read this on yahoo this morning

Honey, will you marry,  Oh. Never mind, 

LONDON (Reuters) - It is the one moment every man wants to get right -- and which London floor-fitter Lefkos Hajji could hardly have got more wrong.

The luckless 28 year-old's dreams of giving his sweetheart, Leanne, 26, the ultimate proposal have literally vanished into thin air.

Hajji, of Hackney, east London, had concealed a $12,000 engagement ring inside a helium balloon. The idea was that she would pop the balloon as he popped the question.

But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring -- and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend -- sailing away over the rooftops.

"I couldn't believe it," he told The Sun newspaper.

"I just watched as it went further and further into the air.

"I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me."

Hajji spent two hours in his car trying to chase and find the balloon, without success.

"I thought I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question," he said.

"But I had to tell her the story -- she went absolutely mad. Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring."

He is hoping the ring will still turn up. "It would be amazing if someone found it," he added.


LOL, sometimes sef, women, our own is too much.

"I've finally decided to marry you" - We get angry and refuse to talk to the guy.

"Honey, I had this elaborate proposal planned but the ring flew away with the balloon- We get angry and refuse to talk to the guy.

And guys - you people too should find a middle ground. Sometimes a simple "Will you marry me?" in your 1 bedroom apartment will suffice

IS IT A TRADITION FOR SINGLE LADIES TO CHASE MARRIED MEN? 

Hmmm, this is a toughie. Let's see, shall we,

Married man - Pledged to someone else for life
Single girl - Nada

Married man - Has kids at home
Single girl - prolly has a child that's not most likely not the married man's, so it doesn't count

Married man - Has Everything to lose
Single girl - Nada

Well going by this, I see now that we have to start an all out war on single girls who makes a man ruin his own marital home. Oops, there goes the  blaming everything on a woman thing again. Seriously, when are men going to start taking responsibility for what they do? Once, just once I'd like to hear a man say,

"The cheating thing, that was all me. It wasn't the devil, it wasn't the fault of the luscious young thing *smacks lips* I cheated with and most importantly, it wasn't because my wife, AFTER birthing my 10.5 children, does not look as shapely as she used to. It was me! Me! Me and my insatiable needs"

Now is that so bad?

The reason it seems like it's a tradition is because these men get away with it and we all know why they get away with it, right. Yep, thanks to sexist upbringing, naija women have been taught to be long sufferers :eyeroll:  If, when he did it the 1st time, she packed her bags and left, it won't seem like there is a tradition of married men with girlfriends, there however WILL be a tradition of divorced men with girlfriends. The lesser of two evils, if you ask me.

And for the love of all that is holy, please don't blame the wives for their husband's cheating. The day someone shows me photographic evidence of Iya sule forcefully putting baba sule's Abunga(as he weeps hysterically in protest) into Sukurat's vajajay, is the day I'll accept that wives are to blame, until then - MEN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR THOUGHTLESS ACTIONS.

windywendy:
Sorry sir! I didn’t know we were supposed to lose our sense of humor over something as "SERIOUS" as this. The guy’s proposal was a joke, and so were many of the responses that I read. I wouldn’t miss a chance to get a good laugh or engage in light-hearted banter over such haplessness now would I  ? Some of us do like to take life a little less seriously, and the last time I checked, it wasn’t a crime.

Think of it this way: most people like to add spice (including salt) to food. Bland food never killed anyone, but we all know how a little spice in food could go a long way in exciting the taste buds. Of course one can keep a relationship bland if one wants to, but a little extra spice does go a long way in cementing a couple’s relationship. If he were proposing to another man, then a statement like “I’ve finally decided to marry you” might be received as exceptional. But to a woman it speaks volumes, none of which will elicit the type of response that the guy was hoping to get. No one is saying that the proposal needs to involve anything extra ordinary, it just needs to come out in a way that will be pleasurable to her senses. You just go back for a moment and check out the consistency in the responses of most of the female posters -- most think the proposal is terrible. Why the consistency, especially when it’s not like we all got together in a quick meeting to decide what to post in response to the topic?. The fact is that certain things do matter to a woman, and any man who wants to live blissfully in a relationship with his wife (or wife-to-be) will do well to understand what those things are and pay good attention to them.  Like I said in one of my earlier posts, one can’t continually dismiss as flimsy and irrelevant the things that are important to the other person in a relationship and expect that relationship to be blissful. Tactlessness can be very costly. Abi, after all the supposed agonizing, introspection, and jumping through countless hoops and loops to come to that decision, why spoil the final moments with such tactless delivery that only leaves a sour taste in the woman's mouth? That's not very smart now, is it? 

With regard to the issue of divorces, etc I’m not sure I understand what you’re advocating here. Marriage in my opinion should be a mutually rewarding experience. The covenant on which marriage is based contains vows made by both parties to love, cherish, honor etc etc each other until death do them part. So I’m not sure why you would class serious issues as infidelity, control-freakiness or insensitivity to the other person’s needs as frivolous. I’m shocked and seriously at a loss for words here. If, as you seem to suggest, these things are indeed frivolous, is it then safe to assume that if your wife was an adulteress, a control-freak, and at the same time insensitive to your needs, you would still be FAITHFULLY (and note the emphasis on “faithfully” here) married to her? I’m really curious to know what your answer to this question would be.

As for your references to the ages of women, etc etc., well what can I say? She's 35, she's 40, who cares? Like I implied in one of my earlier responses to Mr. Feminazi, we can't use other people's experiences as an excuse to accept the unacceptable in our own relationships. So she's thrice divorced at 35, does that mean the rest of us should lower our standards when it comes to choosing a marriage partner? There are people who live under the bridge everyday, does that mean the rest of us shouldn't live in aesthetically pleasing and tastefully furnished houses? Again, don't make sense.

When you say the guy has been understanding, pleasing and selfless enough to sustain a 4-year relationship, you make it sound like he was doing the lady a favor by doing what basically needs to be done to sustain a relationship. What options did he have? Of course he could have been irresponsible, uncommitted, impatient and selfish but chances are that the relationship would not have lasted more than a few days or weeks at best – at least not if the other party is someone with any amount of self-esteem. He got into the relationship voluntarily, so doing what needs to be done to make it work is the least he could have done.

If it was indeed true that the girl only spent time dreaming while the guy was working hard to sustain the relationship, then the guy must be really obtuse to not have terminated the relationship within the first few months, absolutely mugu-ish to have allowed it to go on for 4years and just plain completely senseless to have proposed marriage. What was he thinking Was he that desperate to get married?? Anyway, I don’t believe anyone is all of those things combined, so I suspect that your statement is just an exaggeration. (although I do detect a bit of frustration as well . . .)

I don’t know the couple, so I’m not in a position to tell exactly what was happening during their 4year relationship. But I can safely say that the fact that the guy proposed marriage shows that he believed he had found the ideal marriage partner. You say he should have deferred another 4years? Of course you’re making the BIG assumption that the lady would be waiting around for another 4years right? Perhaps you’re from a generation where things were done very differently, but the truth is that if you’re dating a woman who knows what she wants out of a marriage relationship, she won’t enter into a marriage relationship with you based solely on your own terms, especially not if those terms are unfavorable to her. It has to be a win-win situation for both parties under such circumstances, therefore all that arrogance can be very costly. Did you notice where the original poster said that the lady in question had been through thick and thin with the guy for 4years? Do you think women like that are common, especially when it’s not like she’s desperate to get married or that the guy has loads of money that she’s after? No sensible guy will be quick to lose a woman like that, especially not over something as simple as the way she responded to one of his goof-ball moments. Of course, I wasn’t surprised to read that the guy later went back to set the record straight.

You say the lesson is to keep it natural and simple, and I agree. However simplicity to me means keeping the relationship as stress-free as possible. Part of what that translates to is being tactful – learning how to communicate with the other person in a way that he/she can relate to and appreciate. Tactlessness can be very costly indeed.

Thank You!

How is this so difficult to get? I guess it's true what they say,

Men are from mars, Wome are from venus or in this case, it's Men are from mars, Women are from Venus, Naija men are from (is there such thing as a planet furthest from reality?) ah, what the heck, let's just say from a yet to be discovered planet.
Lifts wine glass Here is to hoping it's done in our lifetime.

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT GIRLS COLLEGE BAKORI.
FUNTUA, KATSINA STATE

Any Bakorians in the house? Sing with me please,

Pro Unitate, Let this be our song
Pro Unitate, Sing it loud and clear.
From all parts of our country
Yet gathered in one school
We're learning in Bakoru
Where Life has one great rule
Pro Unitate is our all in all.

Pro unitate, something something something
Work, games and hobbies
All the things share
There's unity in success
And Trust and friendship too
something something something
Something something something
Pro unitate is the song we sing