₦airaland Forum

@ stillwater
Rotflmao. . .Ha Ah! I KNEW there was nothing wrong with me but when I try to tell them they are senseless. . .they think I'm being insulting. What's a girl to do, eh?

[Size=7pt]I'm only joking about telling they are senseless oh, I'd never do that. Honest [/size]

As much as it pains me to say this. . .especially in a forum where the guys already think women are the devil incarnate (just joking guys. . .I know you love us), Women are their own worst enemies. The moment they see another woman moving up or doing better, the instinct to bring them down kicks in. . .I don't get it. As annoying as guys can be, you have to admit, they like one another. The camaraderie amongst them is a thing of beaut. Sometimes, I look at my brothers and their friends or my guy friends and their other guy friends and wonder why it can't be like that with women. The only females I can say I feel that way about are my sisters and cousins.

iice
100% agree. I'm sorry but "I don't do well with the whiny, crying, oh my God, my life is about to end because he left me" type of girls. Don't get me wrong. . .I will be sympathetic but I absolutely would not do the cuddling like a baby thing.

On a funny note, I noticed you used the word FEMALE friend instead of GIRL friend and I had to laugh coz reading my own post again. . .I kinda sorta sounded like. . .you know. . .not that there's anything wrong with it. Oy! May this society not run us crazy with politcal correctness.

D-Reloaded
Lol. . .no, no that's not what we're saying. I mean it's not like they can't discuss their relationship problems but let's be honest, you know there are some girls who live for that kinda drama, who get overly emotional for everything and expect you to cater to them every single time and you are like "Aww, Jeez here we go again" or at least I am.

I have gone to battles on behalf of a couple of friends. . .the ones I know are not doing it for the attention of being the damsel in distress.

Another thing is when they expect me to feel what they are feeling when they are feeling. . .I don't know if it makes sense but sometimes I get the feeling that we're all supposed to be in this sister hood frame of mind and by not being in tune with their feelings. . .I'm a traitor of some kind. *shrugs*

Why we can't have our individual feelings is beyond me.

SAM MILLA:
[b] I don't know where to start analysing your problems, You have already concluded that all men in nairaland are people who maltreat their girlfriends or wives as the case maybe, What makes you think so angel?,
Ok, think about it from this perspective,
Someone said that all girls in nairaland are cheap attention seekers and that all girls here are ugly.
Someone said we don't have the ladies in nairaland that are up to the task,
Now do you agree with these people ?the answer is no.
Are you one of these ugly girls? the answer is no again.
So you see that their words does not affect you in any way.
The chances are,there are thousands of people here who are good enough for you.
The same to the boyz, there are thousands of girls here who are better than what you are looking for in a woman,
Do not judge anybody by what he/she posts here.
I have been in nairaland long enough to know how people started their replies in the beginning and eventually turned to what they are today due to the way some people treated their posts here,
I agree with every body that there are idiots here , people like HIS GRACE AND his group.
Do not let their posts affect your real life, you don't deserve that.
Believe in your ability to change someone from bad to good, No one is ready made and no one is perfect, [/b]

Touché Sam Milla, Touché.

I guess I need to be clear-er on 2 things.
1) The ALL inclusive phrasing in my post was wrong. . .for that I apologize.

2) Starting a relationship. . .no matter where, when or how still comes down to personal preference and how much faith & Courage you are willing to put into it.

PERSONALLY, I’d be a little hesitant of starting a relationship with majority of the guys whose posts I’ve read on Nairaland. Like I said earlier, only a handful of guys have attracted me with their words. . .just as I’m sure not all the guys who read mine are attracted by them either. This is not an insult to anyone. . .again, it’s all about your preference and what kind of things attract you.

I hope that makes this cleared.

Oh one last thing. . .saying someone can change another person is the biggest urban myth ever perpetuated. Only YOU can change who you are. . .so please let's stop giving people false hope that they have the power to change another human being.

AEjiro:
Well Girl it depends on what you want from the relationship

If its going to be permanent ( i mean you expect marriage)
1. Be prepared to see the child as yours
2. Not think about who gets what  by way of inheritance
3. Deal with his ex coming over from time to time to discuss issues about his son
4. Expect that his son may have to live with you and him as a family
5. Hear gossips from outsiders about how you are not treating the son right and handle same with maturity

and much more!

I may be a guy but am talking from my mums experience with my half brothers and sisters.

But if all you want is just a nice time then fire down till you are tired of him

The choice is yours

# 1 - You are right. Poster You can Love the child without liking the mother. The last thing you want to do is have your boyfriend choose between you and his kid.
# 2 - Inheritance? Seriously? In this day and age?
# 3 - I don't see a reason why she has to deal with the baby mama on a personal basis. She and her boyfriend need to sit down and discuss the arrangements of picking up and dropping off of the kid. He should do it. . .there's no need for the other woman to come over but Poster, as you are making your demands, remember it's still "boyfriend oh, so go easy. You wouldn't want to play your hand too soon by having a hissy fit, now would you?
#4. Again going back to my #1
#5 - Outsiders being the operative word here. As long as Insiders know the real truth, those on the outside can take a long walk off a short pier.

The matter is not as serious as you want to make it. Goodluck.

What is the problem exactly?  Does his innocent child have two heads or what?

Bhawahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh my goodness.

I'm sorry poster, I'm not laughing at you but you have to admit that was a funny comment. On a serious note though, I honestly don't see the problem here. Did he have the baby while he was with you?

@ Poster
By their words ye shall know them and to be honest, only a handful of guys have written any quite noteworthy on this site.

Why would I want to give a guy who thinks I should remain in a relationship where I'm being used for punching bag because God says so?

Why would you I want to be with a guy who thinks him cheating on me is my fault?

Why would I want to be with a guy who would expect me me to go "ah, boys will be boys" when he sleeps with another girl?

Why would I want to be with a guy who before I even finish stating my opinion on a matter, he's already calling my names?


Why would I want to be with a guy who thinks educated women are the downfall of society because they belong in the kitchen. . .barefoot and pregnant?

Like I said. . .by their words ye shall know them. It's bad enough having that kind of aggravation on the net, I'd be a complete idiot to bring it into real life.

So thanks Sam Milla but no thanks.

I'm happy for those who found love on NL. . .not only that, I'm in awe of them because it takes a lot of faith and courage to do that.

[B]Congratulations you two, whoever you are.[/b]

Rotflmao. . .I just love how people can just throw out numbers & Percentages to support their point. That's just like me, who has never polled anyone in my life nor do I care to, saying. . .

98.9% of Nigerian guys are senseless.

99.8% of the 98.9% senseless Nigerian guys post on Nairaland.

100% of the 99.8% of the 98.9% sensless Nigerian guys start idiotic threads quoting % like it's facts.

@Poster
. . .isn't that funny?

iice
Lol. . .you don't sound too enthusiastic about that! I'm cool people honest. . . Just ask all of my many, many girlfriends.

I used to have more of female friends .
I realised i had to put an end to it when it began to affect my relationship.

a lady will tell you she's just a friend yet compete with your girl for everything.

My present girl was once my best friend.

She smartly outplayed my girl and took charge of everything.

My  former girl is gone because she just could not handle it.

I am, sorry for myself because i never had the slightest smell the danger.

Hi there,
Could you please clarify how she smartly outplayed your girl and took charge. . .of what? I don't want to assume you mean she smartly took charge of YOU and that YOU stayed after discovering out what an "outmarting player" she is. I refuse to believe it. . .Lol, I mean that would just be plain silly, it's not like you are an inanimate object without feelings or a brain of his own to makes his choices. So please if it's not too much of a bother, can you tell us what she took charge of. . .was it your girlfriend's favorite shoes? Her Purse or maybe her car. If it's the car. . . Now I can see how that would be upsetting, I mean the poor girl save money to buy a nice car and then someone from nowhere just comes and takes charge of it. The nerve of some people, ehn.

Zandra1:
Seems to me like almost everyone thinks that females are drama. If females are drama then it means that quite a nos of guys on this 'dramaland' are females posing as guys. LMGAO . Way too many drama I tell ya . I know some guys will be sharpening their knives and gathering up big stones to stone me but I will kill y'all first b/f y'all get to me. *Chewing my kettle corn like a lady and smiling mischievously*. Tihehe

Tee heee hee. . .

I grew up with four brothers, who have friends, who also have friends, so at one time or the other in my life, I have at least 6 guys around me, so I know how or at least I think I know how they think so or what makes them tick and how to deal with them. Some people. . .girls (the very few I have) have told me this is a bad thing because having male friends changes your whole perspective on how the male-female relationship is conducted. . .they might be right but I have never gotten a midnight call from any of my friends weeping hysterical like the world is about to end because they just found their girlfriend cheating on them nor do I have to play nurse maid to a broken heart eventhough everybody around knew that relationship would not last. I have never had friends, who after introducing me to their new love decide to avoid me. . .until the relationship pafukas or just entirely stop talking because ^{(and i swear on my grandmother's grave these are not my words)}they know once their new love meet me, they will be history _{(Insecure Bitches)} nor do I have to deal with friends going behind my back and saying "That lagbaja ehn,  you don't know who she really is" and when you confront them they tell right into your face "Lagbaja me? say that about you. . .A l l a h kiaye" ^{Snaps fingers over their heads 3 times and spit}

. . . .Wait what the question again oh right which do you have more of Male or Female friends? Without a doubt. . . .MALE!!!!! They don't hold grudges over an imagined slight, They have my back any day any time and the most I've ever had to do for them is pretend I am their girlfriend because some desperado refuses to take the hint. I shouldn't even call that a favor because get immense pleasere out of it. Does that make me a traitor  my gender? Puh-lease! I don't give a rats's behind.

Come, now is the time to worship
Come,  now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God
Come

Chorus
One day every tongue will confess you are God
One day every knee will bow
Still the greatest treasure remains for those
Who gladly choose you
 
VERSE
Come, now is the time to worship
Come,  now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God
Come
 
CHORUS
One day every tongue will confess you are God
One day every knee will bow
Still the greatest treasure remains for those
Who gladly choose you (Repeat)


Come, now is the time to worship
Come,  now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God
Come
 
Oh Come, Oh Come
Worship the Lord and Come
Oh Come, Oh Come
Come


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPWq8eM4lu8

Be Magnified

I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That You were unable to help me.
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified

Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified,
Oh Lord, be magnified

I have leaned on the wisdom of men
Oh Lord, (Please)forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord be magnified

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BAdp9Cwmk6c

Well, guess thats just tha same way you being saying buh bye to all your suitors, not astonished to have gotten such reply from you

Tee hee hee! You found me out. Oh you smart one you. . .can't put anything past you can I?

Anyhoo, that is all besides the point because this line of yours  . .

If you really love the guy and not that you're only looking for somewhere to hook your self I'll say you hold on to what you love

is what I was responding to. The girl says some psycho is threatening her and your advice is to tell her that if she loves him, she should stay and if she doesn't stay. . .it means she was only looking for somewhere to hook herself.  You don't even make allowances for the fact that she does love him but she does not want or refuses to be threatened. Please, Read that sentence of yours again and this time try to process carefully and try to tell me what sense that makes? 

There are threats that are out of your control and then there are threats that you use your hand, leg, body and even your soul to cause,  . . . .Cos its like a blab to me. . . . .

Well of course it makes no sense to you, I hear common sense is not so common. Oh Shoot! I shouldn't have said that . . .it's obvious if we argue from today till tomorrow, we'll never see eye to eye and it has absolutely nothing to do with your sense or lack there of. So my apologies on that last sentence.

And about your marital status, its just a way to find out if you are talking out of experience or out of what some dumbo also told you.

LOL. . .oh come on! I'm sure it's pretty obvious to you now that I really don't listen to dumbos.   

And as for you sisqo or what did you call yourself, do you want to tell this thread now that your man never lied to you?
And the guy you are currently married to has never for once lied and later on confessed to you ( that is if you are married, if not - just hold your peace and don't reply)

ROTFLMAO. . .Sisqo? I love it! Just don’t expect me to start singing the thong song.

No I won’t sit here and tell you I’ve never been lied to. . .I’m not with Jesus and I am not that naïve.

There are things in life you make accommodations for. . .
A man lying . . .you make accommodations for.
A man constantly cheating on you. . .you ask yourself if you can live with it.
The girl he cheated on trying to pull a fatal attraction on your behind. . .I think it’s time to say bye bye bye.

And remember - - - -For every good thing in life, theres always a threat against it.

Who are you reminding? The girl whose guy cheated on her and now has a Psycho threatening her or the guy who cheated on his girl with a psycho who is now threatening his girl?

For every good thing in life, there’s always a threat against it. . . Lmao, how you can say that with a straight face is completely beyond me, sir. There are threats that are out of your control and then there are threats that you use your hand, leg, body and even your soul to cause. So please save the pep talk for the silly nitwits you’re used to shoving your brand of “Fi ori gbe” talk at.

And pray tell what my marital status has got to do with me answering your question?

She can either say yes or no.

If she says no. . .then you know you tried.
If she says Yes. . .you win.

I don't see what the big deal is and the last thing you want to do is be presumptuous about what a girl thinks.

Girl hold your ground, don't let one silly person scare you out of what you want. . . .If you really love the guy and not that you're only looking for somewhere to hook your self  I'll say you hold on to what you love

Oh my freaking God! Only a guy will say this. . .

So her man cheats on her. . .yet she's the one who has to prove herself by staying while a maniac threatens her life. On the other hand, if she let's self preservation take over yeye love, she'll be accused of only trying to hook him. . .because as we all know all women want to hook themselves somewhere. Yikes!!!!

I can't believe this is even a big debate. Do you really think a man who cheats on your before marriage won't do it after? You get down on your knees and thank your lucky starts you found out now before getting saddled with his 101 children and ayou have no choice but to stay.


Sometimes sef, it's not the men that are to blame for somethings. . .some women play a HUGE part in how they are treated.

Just last week I went to see him in his office when i saw him with another girl, he asked me to give him 10 mins, i agreed and went to stay at the their reception room till he sent for me,

I'm sorry. . .I stopped reading after this line and it didn't help that the topic said. . .

She Is Threatening To Make Life Miserable For Me

What are you waiting for? Like our maiguard will say. . .there are many fises in the osean. Next time line your hook well, well.

Tattooboy:
said am so sick of love songz, so tired of tears
so done be wishing she was still here
said am so sick of love songz, so sad and slowwwwwwww
why can't i turn of the radio?

Awww, you sound so heartbroken and I'm sure it won't help if I added this. . .

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore


Love that song. Not a lot of men can show their emotions like that. . .guess that could be one of the taboos, eh?

Taboos, the unspeakable, revolting

1. A guy sleeping with his sister
2. A guy sleeping with his mother
3. A guy having a party with his mother and sister.
4. A guy sleeping with his daughter
5. A guy sleeping with son
6. A guy having a foursome with his sister and his wife
7. A guy having a foursome with his wife, her sister and his daughter.
8. A guy sleeping with his daughter's daughter whom he fathered.
9. A guy having a party with his son and his son's wife.

Oh yeah and pointing at a graveyard.

Taboo, forbidden, unthinkable. . . .Let’s see

1) A woman who isn’t a deaf/mute punching bag, sex slave and housekeeper all rolled in one.
2) A man who can’t Lord over his wife while she shakes in fear in the corner.
3) A woman having a say in her marriage.
4) A man helping in the day to day caring of HIS kids (Tofiakwa!)
5) A man entering the kitchen let alone cook (May thunder not strike everyone in the vicinity when that happens)
6) A woman feeling betrayed when she realizes the words “Love and Cherish” are just words.
7) A man who. . .

Oh wait. . . those are not the kind of taboos we’re talking about? My bad!  I swear hear taboo and automatically thought of those. I didn’t know we were talking about the disgusting, unspeakable kinds not the ones everyone knows is a taboo but pretends it isn’t.

My apologies again . . .guess, I’ll have to go back to the drawing board.

I pity you.

Give me a break! This has got to be a joke right. . .

I also think it's terribly unfair of you to start comparing your present girl to your friend not because I think she won't measure up. . . But because it is obvious to all and sundry that your judgement of the latter is clouded. You've cast her in the role of all that is good and perfect. You have her wrapped up in colorful daisies and beautiful rainbow with a halo on her head, where even if she killed someone today, you'd think it was beautifully done.

Let me ask you this, the things you complain about your new girl. . . are they things you just noticed? Did you just wake up one morning to the realization that she's too demure for you? That she's made you her whole life? And that she's insecure? Somehow I doubt that's the case. So if you lived with it all this time, why complain now?

I'm sure if you took your head out of the sand, long enough to think clearly, you'll probably find many. . .many things that irritated about your friend. For instance, she was mouthy, she was flaky, she didn't take things seriously, her let's live for the moment attitude set your teeth on edge a few times. If you really think back, I'm sure you'll remember telling her she was setting herself up for trouble because she believed in an "idiotic notion" called equality for women. . .something that went against all that she was brought up to think and be. . .I'm just guessing.

The point is. . .stop being an Ahole and stop trying to turn your life into a remake of Serendipity or When Harry Met Sally.

To answer the question . . .Reminiscing is good only if you don't wrap it up in a cute little package.

Hi EccentricJ
You know it's only normal that people who go through an emotional trauma together would form a bond, sometimes, so deep is this bond, it can't be explained yet more often than not. . .that's just what it is. A Deep Bond.

You've seen the movie Fearless. . .right? Remember what happened between Jeff Bridges character and Rosie Perez's . . .they both survived a plane crash and although they became close, I don't recall them thinking that was a sign to be together forever. Do you know what I mean? Just something to think about. . .you know.

[Size=7pt]Ina da tambaya daya. . .ma ne ne amfani abun ka na rubuta a nan? Don a l l a h, ka f'adi. For the last time. . .Ka tsaya.[/size]

Hi again Emma,
You give me way too much credit. I didn't do more than anyone else on this thread and I'm sure like me, they are glad to help. It's unfortunate that in these types of situation, we (I.e us out here) don't get to know how things turn out. If it's not too much of an imposition, could you let us know what happened? If this is asking too much, please just ignore it.

And for the record, I don't think you are a gold digger. Like the pidgin english misunderstanding, I think talking about this girl's wealth is a way to show how down to earth she is. It's no secret most people. . .girls from wealthy families tend to be a little high and mighty

Best of luck to you and whomever you choose to be with. Salud!