₦airaland Forum

I was gonna go all sarcastic on your behind. . .like wa pe ni be type thing until i saw you are a virgin yourself and my prayer for you that you find the. . .

Bone of your bone
Flesh of your Flesh
Virgin to your virgin
(Amin)

And I swear to A l l a h, I am not being sarcastic.

oneperson:
do thet honourable thing - tell her how you feel and then wait for an answer.

if she says NO, then leave her and try again later in the future. if after two trials, she doesnt like u, then leave her and find someone else.

just me

Exxxxcuse me? Which Honorable thing will he be doing by telling her how he feels?

Did you miss this part of his post


[size=14pt]

After then, she started feeling something for me [or, so I thought], but at that time, I was not feeling anything for her.

[/size]

Please let's call a spade a spade. . .the only reason he's showing any interest now is because someone else is interested in her. Mr. Poster man, do us all a fovor and go look for another secy somewhere else. LEAVE THIS GIRL ALONE. . . Now THAT would be the Honorable thing.

Honorable my cute behind! Hissss

Pardon my ignorance but. . .who?!!!

ROTFLMAO. . . Did she wait at least until the meal was over? Letting a good food go to waste. . .now that will be unjustifiable!!!

opokonwa:
[size=16pt]He robbed a bank because he is a thief![/size] [size=16pt]Period.[/size]

Besides your story sounds like a blue-light fiction.

[size=18pt]GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS!!![/size]

You, my friend, are like a dog in a manger. I bet the moment she gives you face again. . .you'll lose interest. Please let her be. . .you had your chance and you BLEW IT!!!!!!!!!!

How many  Liza Minelli CDs do you own?
When you talk, do you have a lisp?
In School do you used to act in drama?
Do you enjoy picking out curtains, carpets and throw rugs?
Who is your favorite shopping partner? You best girl friend or Your mom?
How many times a day do you use the words "fabulous” or “Darling” or “divine”?
Which goes on the bed first. . .a duvet or a blanket?
Have you ever used the phrase “you go girl” while you shake your head to the side?


Disclaimer:
This is a fake questionnaire which by no mean tells a person if they are gay or not. It’s supposed show how people think certain idiotic characteristics make you gay.


@ Poster
You're fine o Jare, you just haven't met the  right girl who will make you heart go gbim gbim and the girl who thinks you're gay is just being salty. She's probably thinks she's the shiznick and can't understand why your tongue is not hanging out everytime she passes you by. Saying you are gay is more for her own peace of mind. . .if it that will make her sleep better at night, let her have it. You know your truth. . .abi?

chukwukaa:
someone should quote me wrong,if not i think all women are liars and cheats on their men

Quoted Wrong.

Why are you afraid to talk to her?

I want to apologize in advance for what I’m about to say. From what I've read so far, some people are bound to take offense.

All you people who are jumping down other people's throat for not going out or for saying they can't marry someone who's handicapped let me ask you this. . .would you rather they said yes out of pity? I mean obviously those who say they wouldn’t go out with someone who is handicapped would only do it out of pity or societal obligation. Oh I’m sure many here would applaud them, for being “deep” and altruistic and all is well that ends well, la di da. . .right but you’re forgetting something here. . . What would the person they are going out with feel? Bet you didn’t think of their feelings matter and THAT my friends, is worse than a pity date any day any time. Do you think he’d appreciate the fact that PITY is the only reason he scored a date?

From reading all the responses, I have yet to any post asking what the handicapped person really wants. Everyone is just going on the assumption that he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. Did anyone ever picture a scenarios where she does say yes, and after a date or two, he heads for the hills because he realizes she’s not his type (no offense to you poster just trying to make a point). Seriously, how many of you have met someone, thought you liked and after getting to know them, you go “what the heck was I thinking?“ The point is that you people are carrying on as if he’s lost his only chance at love because she refused to go out with him. YOUR reaction to HER reaction says more about YOU than it does about HER. You are the ones who really think his handicap poses a problem to him finding real love. . .if you didn’t, you won’t be on her case for saying no. Again, what you are doing is worse than what the one who rejected him has done. . .you think because he has some form of handicap, he should him to be grateful to anyone who will show him some love. I've seen a situation where a guy in a wheel chair turned down a girl because she's not his type. YES, THEY ALSO HAVE TYPES despite their handicaps they have the same emotions like people who aren‘t handicapped.

Another thing, please stop vilifying those people who have been honest in saying they can’t be with someone who's handicapped. Some people just aren't emotionally strong for it. Emotional strength is very important in ANY RELATIONSHIP. There are so many thing some of us aren’t emotionally equipped to handle. . .in law problems, a husband or wife with a roving eye, poverty and so many more. Everyone has their emotional plateau and it is usually advisable to know what it is before venturing into a relationship. Please, understand that I am not advocating that you cut and run once you identify what you think is your peak. . .I am a firm believer in the saying what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger. I am just saying, in doing do so. . .that is identify what you can take and how far you can take it, you know what areas you need to work on, if you do decide to go full steam ahead into the relationsip.

Two things before I end my early morning rant. . .

1)NEVER CONFUSE PITY WITH LOVE. IT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP DOA (For those who don’t know what that means, it is DEAD ON ARRIVAL)

2) MATTERS OF THE HEART ARE NEVER SIMPLE AND TRYING PRETEND IT IS, ONLY MAKES IT HARDER.

@ Poster
This does not make you a bad person, it only makes you human. . .a honest one at that.

chinda3:
@sisikill

nice reply babygirl,u too dey trip me wt your replies.but what do u think sisikill?its obvious he loves d u.s babe more than the nigerian?but baby girl  if u are a guy and u find yourself in this kain situation,what will u do,and i also think emma did not mean anything bad in d pigeon english thing,i guess he' s just trying to explain,u know say some naija girls too dey form wt man ,they no dey like speak pigeon english,they believe its dirty,and for him to see a babe that communicates like that in pigeon english in d u.s not minding the fact that she's from a wealthy family,u know say some big men children too dey feel,but this one just dey down to earth(according to poster)i think i understand emma,

Lol. . .put me on the spot why don't you? Seriously, though. . .my personality would not allow me to be with someone who is reticent. . .where I come from, we call them shiru shiru mugu. Those kind people scare me because you never know what it's on their minds .I want someone who let's me know where i stand, i don't want to have to guess. . .quite frankly, the US girl sounds more like the kinda person I'll be friends with. They let you know what they feel and before you can blink twice, they are over it.

I understand the pidgin part was Emma's way of saying how down to earth the girl is and I apologize for dismissing it the way I did. I honestly don't get that he loves one more than the other. . .I think he really is confused. I know he has no obligation to tell us more but I'd really love to know why he thinks he can't be himself with the girl in Nigeria and why he thinks the girl in the US is calculative. . .or calculating.

@Poster
You're welcome and I'd also like to commend you on the fact that you're not making one girl seem better than the other. It shows that you really care about these two ladies. Sadly, I'm against polygamy or I'd suggest you go with both of them.

Before we go any further, I hope you do know that we can sit here all day and compare and contrast, do Venn diagram analysis with pie chart of these girls' characters, it still won't help much because ultimately. . .it is YOU who has to live with your final decision.

My questions are an extension of olanajim's brilliant questions. . .important things you should consider.

Do you see yourself living a life where your wife tells you when you've offended up front? The advantage of this is that you know when the issue is discussed, it's over and you won't repeat the same thing. The disadvantage is that it always seem like you're forever arguing.

Or

Do you see yourself living where you wife a woman keeps everything bottled up and then one day let it loose when you least expect it? The advantage of this of course is that eliminates the every day mini squabbles you might have if you were with the other? The disadvantage is that you don't know what you're doing that causes her pain until it's too late.

Like olanajim also said, pls take the pidgin thing away. . .I'm sorry but it's useless information. I mean really, how does it help you make the decision on who to spend your lifetime with?

It's nice that you're not allowing beauty to factor into your decision making. . .but you don't want an ugly duckling either.

You say they're both intelligent. . .a very good thing. Personally, I can’t imagine having a partner I can’t go back and forth with in discussion (and I don’t mean arguing or fighting) it makes things interesting.

You also say you are more yourself with the one in the US than you are with the one in Nigeria? Why is that? Do you think she won't like the real you? And if that's the case. . .what indication has she given? Sometimes we have a tendency of projecting certain things unto others and it's unfair. I think before using that a comparative tool, you should first find out if it's you thinking she feels that way or is she really feels that way.

You also stated the US girl is calculative, in what way? To me the word calculative sounds negative. If it is. . .do you want to live with that kind of person? 

Finally, it helps to take a step back from everything and have a moment to yourself. Sometimes, being close a situation can blind you to certain things and remember that in this kind of situation, there's no way to avoid hurting someone's feelings. No offense to those who keep harping on not hurting people's feelings. . .but that's really naïve, I’m sure it’s not his intention but this is life and someone even HE himself will get hurt.

Godspeed Emmanuel. . .matters of the heart are never easy.

So if eating paw paw makes you have it, what do I gotta eat to unhave it? I'm serious here. . .

@ Poster
Honestly, if this could be done the way us girls exchange tops and jeans. . .You'd be walking around with bigger boobs right now and having all the cat calls almost deafening your ears, while I'd be strutting my extremely flat chest stuff in the tankiest of all tank tops.

faketan:
I think they some pervs have stared some stuff out of your chest.
You sound a strong alarm

You. Have. No. Idea! If I had one of those church bells. . .I will sound it too. Honestly!

Only you know both girls well. Go with your heart. Don't base your decision on the fear of hurting someone or out of obligation.

Good Luck.

Siena:
That guy must have had HUGE hands, if he "rubbed" a bank. 

Did he just "rub" the roof, or the till? 

ROTFLMAO. . .

efuah:
Now madam / Mister can u please tell me what u mean by that?

Easy now. . .I only meant calling him stupid was an understatement for what he is. That's all oooh.

[quote author=®~^Sly^~® link=topic=122792.msg2094599#msg2094599 date=1206556238]Which guys? talking to me??[/quote]Me? Talk about you, ke? Never!

[quote author=®~^Sly^~® link=topic=122792.msg2094545#msg2094545 date=1206555418]Don't blame him. . . .
He might be under the influence of sum hot flaming[b] JAZZ[/b]!!
Some girls are desperate and very wicked!!!!
Nothing. . . and i don't think there would be anything!!! [/quote]LOL. . .The "let's blame the woman" excuse is right on cue. Seriously, you guys are starting to sound like a broken record jare. Abeg, look for something new.

efuah:
that's very stupid of him.

Haba, what have stupid people ever done to you that you'll compare them to this. . . brainless ass. Aaah, even that one too is an insult to brainless assess everywhere. We need a new name for what he is.

Teejay07:
@siskill,

such a long story I would say. I don't believe it is in the nature of man to cheat. Methinks, its just human nature to have some men cheat and some others don't. Likewise women - both single and marrid - have been known to be caught in the web.

Since, the nature of women is more reticent and introverted they are less prone to stray. Moreover, because our society is less likely to positively accept the cheating housewife/ girlfriend e.t.c. women are somewhat at a disadvantage when it comes to cheating.

Rather than generalise, I would say it depends on the individual. As you find the cheating male, so will you find a cheating female. Its more of an individual thing.

Also, men are likely to look on the art of cheating as their preserve and women have helped them immensely with preserving that kind of illusion whilst they (women) go ahead to do their own thing.

Lol. . .it was a long story wasn't it? I didn't know it would be that long when I started . . . well to be honest, I did think it might be but didn't feel the need to make it shorter. I figured it would be ok considering we're talking about guys. . .with guys here. Sadly, they don't pick up nuances like we women do . . . everything needs to spelt out to them.

I don't understand this part of your post, “Methinks, its just human nature to have some men cheat and some others don't” and this Also, men are likely to look on the art of cheating as their preserve” Are you saying cheating is human nature for men and sometimes it is a form of self preservation . . . their defense, if you will? If so, then I believe we're saying the same thing. The word Human not preceding nature in my post does not change anything and If you meant some men cheat and others don't even though it in their nature. . .well then we're still saying the same thing because the point still remains, it's in their nature to cheat. Some factors can help them cool down the wild beast  but that doesn't mean it isn't their nature or that one day it's gonna rear it's ugly head.

A few years ago, I saw the headline "Pet Tiger Mauls Child to Death" my first thought. . .which I'm sure is also yours was "Pet Tiger? What an oxymoron!". Through out the broadcast, they paraded over a dozen people who testified about how gentle the tiger was, it had been with the family for ages, the even showed pictures of the tiger with the child he had mauled to death. . .pictures of child and animal romping playfully, the little boy riding the tiger like a horse, they even had a picture of when the child was a baby and he head was on the tiger's stomach. . .both asleep. Honestly, it was the cutest thing. After the incident, The State wasn't sure if they prosecute the parents for keeping a wild beast in the house, it became a huge debate, some said since the tiger had been with the family. . .and had never hurt anyone, it was unfair to punish the parent. Others said the unnecessary death of a child should be punished. . .I won't deny that I found myself vacillating between both sides until this behaviorist expert guy came and said in his opinion, the parents should be punished for being surprised that a tiger attacked a child. It is its Nature Goddamnit! (Hehehehe. . .that had to bleep that part since it was on national TV. The real surprise, he went on to say, is that it took the tiger that long to act according to his nature.

In my opinion, this is the problem we have today. . .women going into a relationship (and I mean marriage. Boyfriend and Girlfriend type does not count) expecting that the man won't cheat and then act all surprised and confused when he does. I say go into the relationship expecting him to cheat and the surprise and confusion is if he doesn't. Besides saving these women a lot of heartache . . . it also saves them from future self-esteem issues. All the . . . What did she have that I didn’t? Am I not good enough? Maybe having an eating disorder to keep my shape after 5 children wasn’t such a bad idea, maybe I should have kept my hair longer, what if I had used to dudu osun to bleach my skin? I hate myself . . .cry! cry! cry! depression! depression! suicide!. . . will be no more

Now my issue will be if he does not have the decency to be discreet. . .yeah, I know he'll cheat but it doesn't mean I want to know with whom, when, how and where? Please don't compound the issue by flaunting it in my face, Jare.

Rotflmao. . .ever heard the sayings "Curiosity Killed the cat" or “Eavesdroppers never hear anything good? NO? Well there's your lesson . . . stop snooping!

Jesus! The fact that she's your girlfriend does not mean you have a right to every facet of her life.

Besides, I see absolutely nothing wrong with the messages.

chidipupay:
What will you say about a woman fighting the husband? Even if he hits you, you don't have to hit urs back. Just cry like a baby. but that dosen't mean hiting a lady is good. Or a situation where your wife frowns at every of your friends that comes to visit. I mean it is absurd. Some wifes will even want their husbands to wash his cloth by himself it not fair,

Lord-A-mercy!!!!

sylvao2000:
Two weeks relationship were over 120,000 naira was spent as in club and gift for her but have sex with her three times within that period and everything was called off last night.

my question now is who is at lost the girl or the guy?

So let's see. . .that's 40,000 for 1 round of sex? Not bad, not bad at all. . .for her I mean and you, why are you complaining? How can you go to the market, buy something and then complain when the thing finishes? 

Seriously, though. . .Why the need to quote the money? if na prostitute you hire, I will understand but this is supposed to be a relationship, no? Shouldn't the measure of LOSS come from the emotions invested not the money? It's sad how some guys equate money with love but what's sadder still is that it is girls who give them that impression. Please join me for a moment of silence for the loss of dignity in some women

Look at me oh, I just automatically assume the problem has to be from the poor girl. . . I swear Nairaland men and their it's all the girls fault mentality is rubbing off on me.

Mr. Oga Sir Poster, please while checking out the Virgina tightener for your girl. . .also look into Penis enlarger, okay? Thanks

Best of Luck

LABZ:
i really love my girl friend.Infact she is my wife to be.Although she told me of her past sexual experience.But u know what? i recently had sex`with her for the first time.i discovered obviously that she is wider than i am.I mean her vagina is far wider than the size of my pennis.In fact we couldnt both enjoy eachother.I couldnt satisfy her and i couldnt have sex enjoyment with her.please what can i do to solve these problems ontime so that she will not look upto another guy that can satisfy her.im scared please.Advise me-it's urgent.thanksssssssssssssss

My brother, calm down. Haven't you seen those ads in City People and like about the Virgina Tightener? IRRC their Slogan is "Virgina Tightener, e go tight am well well, woman weh done bone 10 pikin go be like virgin again". . .or something along those lines. Now what you really need to worry about is - How to bring this up to her. I highly doubt she'll be very receptive but it never hurts to try, just let her know it's because you care and you want sex between the two of you to be like fireworks going off all the time and not because you're wondering what the heck she's been doing with the thing to make THAT wide. Good Luck.

Awww, I can't believe people like you still exist and I don't mean that as an insult. . . .honestly I don't. I guess when you're jaded as as I am when ot comes to men, it's always refreshing to see people who are still perplexed by what makes group of human beings tick, especially the cheating part.

The Long answer to what confuses you can be found in an old tale passed down from generation to generation. . .I'm sure you've even heard it. It's about the scorpion and the frog and it goes like this

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and the scorpion stopped because he knew there was no way on God's green earth he'd make it across the river. So he sat and waited, even contemplated going back from whence he came but the thot of others thinking he failed or that something was wrong with him stopped him. So he stayed there and whine about not having a good helper and all the same things men complain about these days, to every thing that passed by

Suddenly, he saw a frog jejely sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river, minding her own business. So the scorpion approached the frog and he decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo My dear!" called the scorpion across the water in the sweetest voice, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I can not swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But she asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then, how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh, ," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and with a sad expression on his face, he said,

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river and drowned.

The short Answer - It's their nature to Self Destruct.

Thats's why no matter how beautiful, supportive, submissive, perfect little wife or girlfriend you are, you will still get cheated on. No matter how perfect their lives are, they'll fine a way to ruin it.

Don't take it personally and don't let these guys decieve you into thinking there was something you could have done to prevent them from cheating because there isn't. . .It's their Nature

Since obviously, the girl's feelings don't matter here. . .why should it, it's only her life that is being decided here. I'd suggest 3 things for you and your younger brother to do

1) Toss a coin
2) Rock, Paper, Scissors
3) Straw Drawing.

May the best man win!!

Two things first. . .
1) My Guy?. . .Seriously? I'd expect it to be my Ex-guy with all the crap he's pulling.
2) Trustworthy. . .again Seriously? Trustyworthy. . .yet he hides you from his ex? Shaking my head

I'm not going to vilify him. . .even though every fiber of my being wants to.  What you need to do bring this up with him. All this passive aaggressive schtick will get you nowhere. Men just aren't equipped to notice things like that. . .to him, your silence means consent. Nip it in the bud right now before he start hiding you from his other wife and their 2.5 children.

Why is it that…

This is man before marriage
I want to be with you always
You’re all that is in my head.
You complete me
The day I met you is when I finally knew the purpose of my existence.
I’ll never forget the first time we met; it’s going to be tattooed in my brain forever
The day you say I DO is the day I know there’s a God.
Don’t worry; I make us dinner today with my special recipe.  
My love. . .I will never put anyone before you because you are my world
I can just lie awake all night and watch you sleep (creepy . . .but that’s just me)
Every time you walk into a room, my heart skips a beat because of the perfection that is you.
I can not wait to see my child growing in you, it’s going to be the most beautiful sight ever.
I’ll be right back, my love. I’m just going over to Lagbaja’s house. Call me on my cell phone if you need me, ok? Love you. . .Kiss, kiss. I miss you already

After Marriage
You this woman, you’re invading my space.
You will not make my head explode with all your talk, talk
Se won bi shorin meja ni? Why must we do everything together?
The day I met you, I forgot to pray to God to order my steps that why I’m paying for it now.
Don’t you understand I work and I want to come home and rest?
Our Anniversary…again? Didn’t we celebrate one last year?
Please wipe that Shirley off you face before you come to bed, I almost had attack thinking I was in bed with a ghost.
Every time you come in to a room, my heart skips a beat because I know wahala is about to start.
Can’t you control YOUR children? Why do they have to be so noisy? I’m having a headache, I’ve been gone all morning and I come home to this racket.
Where am I keys? I’m going out. Do I have to tell you were I’m going? Why don’t you kuku start making mark register every time I want to leave the house.
Nonsense and ingredient.


If we can answer these questions, I believe we can answer the one posed above. In my opinion, it’s easy for a woman to do all the washing and cleaning and worshiping if the man they are doing it for shows he appreciates it and does not take them for granted and reciprocate somehow. You can't just take, take, take and not give back. For every Action, there's an even or greater reaction. . .before men start whining about a woman changing, ask yourself if you're still the same person you were when you both started out.

phillip001:
please house i need a help,i have been into a relationship, we strted when we where still in school, we finished our nysc last two years,the relationship is five years old and still love this girl very much, but due to the face that no good job yet, the relationship in now on fear,not that i want to leave her but she in afriad of staying.
what do i do,please advice me.

For Better for worse
For Richer for poorer

Sadly, in this [I]it's all about what I want [/I] world we live in, those words have been edited to justify some selfish behavior. It's now for Better and Richer only. Don't get me wrong, I certainly wish for everyone to only be better and richer in their lives. . . but not everyone is born with a silver spoon wedged in their mouths. We're not all Dangotes, Obansanjo, Yaraduas and the lot. It takes time and effort especially in this day and age and if this girl can't see beyond what you are now. . . to the better man you hope be in future (and I assume you are working hard to be somebody because it would be a bit hypocritical of you to come here and whine about your girlfriend not sticking with you through the thin when you are not giving her any indication there will be a thick) then I say you're WELL RID OF HER!!!

Yes, Yes, I know . . . you love her, she loves you, oh it’s been five years :rolleyes: but you have to understand that is has gone beyond loving each other, You also need to support each other! The former without the latter. . . I'm sorry to say, is a big whole pile of steaming crap! What is to say she won't up and leave you in the future if God forbid, something happens and the balance on your bank account does not match the minimum she’s comfortable with? Is that what you want? Think about it, my friend and thank the Lord he’s shown you a glimpse into what the future might hold for you if you go ahead and marry her. I say might because. . .who knows, right?

Good Luck!

A man who doesn't tell you he's a real man every time he opens his mouth.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Nothing wrong with that. . .the real crime will be trying to force something that isn't there or sticking it out just because you don't want people to think you have a problem. Have fun jare. . .besides, when you meet the right guy, you won't even know when 10 yrs has passed.

Busta:
@topic

Trust me, u really do not want big boobies . . . u're only fantasizing bout it now because when u get it, it'll fraustrate u.
- u hardly get nice tops that fit
- u hardly get nice bras that fit
- so much for backache in the name of heavy boobies
- when u meet a man for the first time, all they stare at is your boobies

yeah, they might be fun at first but with all these disadvantages, they really starts to fraustrate you.

take it from me 

Busta (hmmm, is that a play on words. . .ya know ) Do you think we should form a group with educate people on the disadvantages of being Busty?