₦airaland Forum

Aaaaarghmed:
avoid him..the signs plenty.move on.but you should not have led him on based on marriage things.avoid while you can

Yea I know now. I will rather do it now than stay long in a marriage I am scared of how worst he can become.

YoshihideSuga:
And you still want to marry such a person?!

You're a very stubborn woman. If you were my sister, I will cut you off from the family's Will and disown you.

I am leaving for my peace

Exceed15:
Madam tell us your own bad sides too. Women play victim a lot.

Not saying I am perfect either.
Issues like I should cook for him and I tell him I can’t cook every day, I cook in fridge and he can serve him self. And I complain that he should watch his weight.
Or I get angry when he wakes me in the middle of night to go cook for him and I always say I have to get to work in the morning and he starts argument that I don’t respect him. He is not the worst but his bad side over shadows the good part of him.

olril17:
You can’t process divorce now cos you can only start a divorce proceeding for a marriage contracted in the registry only after two years. That is,to start a divorce process,the marriage must have been more than two years from the day it was contracted.
That’s the position of the law.

What if the marriage was contacted by duress, or threat can it be possible before 2 years on that ground to make it void

Dyfynezz12:
U saw all his red flags yet u agreed to marry him,made him come back from Asia to Nigeria knowing fully well that he can't go back nd now u want to abandon him.
Try nd put urself in his shoes.

As long as he doesn't physically hit u nd he doesn't cheat I don't see anything wrong with some1 who drinks.

He hit me once when dating. Though just a a little strike and it didn’t happen again he apologised , he called my family told them what he did and apologised. But I am beginning to realise he his hiding his true self to get what he wants . I have put my self in his shoes that was why I did the marriage. Cause I obviously feel bad he was stuck in Nigeria doing nothing.

ednut1:
What makes women date or even marry useless men like this. He came all the way from asia to come marry you and can’t return as he was illegal. You now want to abandon him in Nigeria haba. Carry am go the new country first and divorce him there

2 days before he came back I said I wasn’t interested again. And we should move on , could have stood my ground, he did come back and I still begged we should wait a bit or do the marriage another time. You will not understand when you see a whole family begging you and him begging. I started feeling guilty and just let it happen, hoping we will make it work . But I will always have a better job than him because of my career path and my income will most likely always be higher even if he gets a job if he moves. And I don’t mind if I earn more but I mind when someone sees it as a threat and prefers I lost my job , I feel there will always be major argument cos of the fact that I earn more , and it makes some men act irrationally . He put the fear in me. So yea if I bring him over I fear it will be worst . I will rather help him move to another country

Harddiskng:
You can see all the red and even black flags you are still here asking questions when you know what needs to be done.

You didn’t listen to someone close, so it’s us you don’t know from Adam you want us to waste energy typing so you can ignore our advice too abi

It’s like some people bellful the next thing on the agenda is to cause problems for themselves lol. I don’t want to believe that this story is true.

I will get the divorce. Thanks .

SavageResponse:
Here is how you do it.

As soon as you set things in motion, start ignoring all calls coming from Nigeria except from your parents or the lawyer representing you.

You may only respond to other people through written messages but if anyone persists or tries to put pressure on you to change your mind just block or delete the person straightaway.

Marriage is a very long journey therefore you should not tie yourself to someone who has potential of being a deadbeat or alcoholic, this goes for both male and female!

Like I mentioned before make sure that you do not owe him any serious favours so he cannot say you cheated or exploited his kindness to you.

I don’t I will do that . Thanks loads

mbaise1000:
I think that you want out of the marriage but is looking for a good reason to do it, anyways, if you are still claiming to be a Christian wvlhich I believe you are not, you should be aware that God hates divorce, the condition God gave for divorce wasn't mentioned by you in your little epistle, if you want him to leave by himself, you will still be commitng adultry if you marry another, I don't believe that there is anyone that is 100% bad, you are not 100% good too, there must be some ways that your husband is good, concentrate on those parts and develop them more, and you will see reason to accept your husband back, when all you are looking in a person is faults, you are certainly going to see them and if you don't see, you will develop faults in the person and believe it, when you married this person, you did not ask for our advice, why do you need our advice now to divorce him? People like me don't support what God hates, you have married this person, whether it's internet marriage or audio marriage or marriage in absentia, it's legsl in the face of God, people went into marriage for all the wrong reasons these days and will start crying foul after a few days, none if your reasons is good enough to leave that marriage, just make it work, impossible is nothing.
Don't be listening to people who don't have respect for the marriage institution or their spouses

Tbh I know this , i wish I can see the future and know that he will not stress me . Yes he can be sweet if he wants to, but the anger issues is really crazy. I am the only one that can calm him down. I fear he will turn on me if we have like big issues. He has said if anybody does what I did to him to his sister he will kill the person. So this are just statements but it makes me get scared that this guy is only hiding is true self to get what he wants . I am stressed.

SavageResponse:
You starting point is to officially dissolve the union.

Tell you parents to return the bride price and tell them why you can no longer go on with him (I hope you have some proof).

This time you need to be ready to block your heart and mind - no matter who calls you to beg do not shift ground!

Thanks it is the blocking the heart part I need to learn. It’s the begging and begging that I couldn’t say no to that brought me to this situation . Hopefully he gives me the divorce.

SavageResponse:
Don't take his threat likely.

Just blank him by going A.W.O.L

I hope you don't owe him any money sha and you did not collect any valuable gift from him

Nope he owes me instead. Gave him some money about 1.6million so he comes back to naija but he said the agent that will procure his travel docs back to naija scammed him and that was how my money went . I am not even asking for that money back . I am just scared of him after saying he will bring me down. No matter the anger that statement is deep rooted to say to someone.

Newdawn30:
How will you Marry someone out if pity... The funny thing is that you will always feel like you made the wrong decision marrying him for years to come.

So he was back to Nigeria, if I had held my ground before he came to Nigeria this wouldn’t have happened. I felt it was me who made him come to naija if not he would have kept being in Asia. Long story short I didn’t want to go through the marriage on the said date. But pleas and pleas from hun and family made me just do it. Deep down now I just know it’s a big mistake .

fyzaila:
Aunty you saw all these red 🚩🚩 you still went ahead to marry him. Is he the last man standing? Abi responsible men have finished? Something is telling me is desperation that made you agreed to the marriage.

Hmmm you're in for a long thing. Prayer is your friend now

Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

That black one open mouth like he wanna give bj. Disgusting pose to form fine boy

Bastard rivers if u tell them they are speeding they start shouting on you

That dee one no just get sense sha

Where can I drop my CV

is Michael Jackson dead?

short guys don suffer

good 4 them

Iheanacho to score the winning goal Vardy to score also.... Marhez to perform magic

Arsenal to lose Kanu nwakwo to get injured

if they calculate that oyedepo money well e go big massively

ThatFairGuy:
They calls cow "brother" because of meat? Issokay

NOTHING NEW! you know how many senators and abuja big men bow down for me

fine boy

very easy... Sugar daddies did a great job. and to cut the story short i have travelled to 15 countries, have a lexus jeep 2013 and another toyota camry 2014 plus i have landed properties, and great asset in the bank. hence sugar daddies thank u

i dated him 2009

is chelsea captain not mikel obi

buharinism the best government in the world. Change is really here.

wow nice skin and pretty.. and almost as beautiful as me

is he a football player?