₦airaland Forum

pablo aimar: Guy, you want kill yourself? I no mean say person go drink the 60 bottles one day o, even a social drinker no fit do am talk more of person like me wey na 3 be my range now. I just mean say ur poem... As u use green bottles sing am make e no be for the poem alone o, make the green bottles stand for GREEN BOTTLES (shey u get?).

Lol...make the green bottles stand for GREEN BOTTLES.

E go make sense sha especially if say na Heineken.

Helenqollinz: Sotenna,Lewiz,Linda,Yame014,i sight una o.Gud aftunun ppl.

"Sister" I sight you with my compound eyes...

pablo aimar: .

Solid poem for this countdown, thumbs up bro, hope this green bottles are not for the days only but we can also make it real green bottles!

Pablo person wey drink 60 bottles no be mortuary him go end...

Imagine you set a trap for a rat and you came back only to find this...

http://www.wata.cc/up/2011/2/images/w-eb925d222e.gif

View with default mobile phone bowser.

kinslykc: Breaking News... Nysc collaborates with ASUU... Batch C, 2013 isn't not certain yet....until FG pays off his debt.. Chaiiiii

Bia enyi na this early morning wey everybody get fresh hopes wey you carry this kind joke enter here? And e come be fake news.

Bros Ogbeche someone is willingly asking to be banned.

Singing...61 green bottles standing on the wall, 61 green bottles standing on the wall...if one green bottle falls off from the waaalll, 60 green bottles standing on the wall...whistling the song as I cancel off the 5th from the calendar.

Hakuna Matata people!!!

Just wondering...

These guys approving gay marriage and the gay guys themselves. What rational sense is behind their thoughts and actions?

I mean was it a man that gave birth to them?

Was it a man that did the breastfeeding when they were babies?

Was it a guy they called mum?...at this point #smh.

Imagine calling a guy mum...hilarious!

That very awkward moment when you visit a new acquaintance, you two are seated in the living room and he calls out "Hey honey get Jonny here a cold beer" and you hear an even deeper baritone voice saying "Okay sweetie" and then you see a very muscular man walking towards you, a chilled beer in hand.

Yeah right...I'll hightail it out of that house faster than Usain Bolt before I'll become a victim of a gang r*pe.

dimplecakes: Guru mooooorin ooooooooooo
To my special pple in the house, I zoom zoom u all.
@Dammykelv
@odebbs
@Omoteamac
@banttie
@winnie
@Jenny
@hopeyemmy
@toyde
@sotenna
@David hume
@tutu
@mikigen
@ayoolar
@obinoral
@fun peter
@cofoe
@xpensiveT
@immanuel
@beauty
@Pablo
@Alenkakent
@phyktor
@shrimati
@Helen
@colournbrushes
@sainta

Abeg am sowi if I no mention ur names ooooo but I sight u tooooooooooooooooooooooo.

#dimple# OAU Economics class of 12'

ONE LOVE

Madame D...good morning too you too.

A burglar broke into a house one night and as he grabbed the stereo, he heard a voice saying "Jesus is watching you!".

He froze in his tracks and has he shined his flash light around the room, he noticed a parrot in the corner, he said angrily "did you say that?" the parrot answered back "Yep, I'm just trying to warn you".

The burglar looked puzzled and said "Warn me? Who are you?", the parrot said "my name is Moses".
He laughed and said "What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses?..." the parrot replied "the same kind of crazy people who would name a hundred and fifty pound Rottweiler Jesus!"

TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid. ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

WinnieDPooh: Lol i just observed from page 0 to 560. Goodmorning

Morning babe...enjoy your day.

bouncealong: That's nice. It's common knowledge that No Good Thing Is For One Person. What about an introduction now?

We'd appreciate it if you start with yourself.

Name, school, State, where you want to serve...and possibly show us yourself by means of picture.

He whistles to his calendar, brandishing a monstrous HB pencil...cancel out the 4th.
61 days remaining...he smiles to himself, and heads to NL to say Good morning!

Good morning buddies...what's for breakfast?

Sotenna and 3 unknown guests...this night?

Dem fit be witches oh!

Na sleep sure pass...he zooms off.

Imanuelle: okay

Already sent your name to adamawa sha

I have your state number already

You dn turn to witch
Where you get the number from

Mazi_Omenuko: Sotenna, I saw ur comment on my thread; its so good for you to drop a comment in appreciation.

You're welcome, but not to sleep in our holy thread.

Imanuelle: lol
Did he tell you anything about the koboko I told him to buy for defaulters?

Oh! That? No he didn't. That will be for those you'll be with in borno camp.

Oga Imma...greetings from Borno state nysc camp commandant.

I ran into him today, he said he's already bought all you need for camp. Including a brand new shiny bomb proof vest and shorts.

You're so lucky.

bouncealong: I like it when a guy spells his name like this: hopeyemmy

Isn't it sexy?

I sight wahala in 3D.

J...is also viewing this.

Winnie how you take sabi all the OAU students on this thread

Good morning buddies...whistling to myself and cancelling out another day.

62...

During the exam, Akpos kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying. When collecting the paper after the exam...

Teacher: I'm gonna minus 10 marks from your score.

Akpos: Hiiaaa!!! Why sir?!

Teacher: For copying.

Akpos: How do you know that I was copying?

Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.

Akpos: *Laughing* Question 9 said, STUDY THE TABLE BELOW.

63...

Good morning friends.

j-slimz:
Which section?

Lol...no be me go carry you go that kind place.

I no want make Yemmi castrate me.

yame014: That's awesome...it is necessary jare...how has bn ur weekend?

Cool bro...I hope yours went well.

yame014: Arghh...where is everybody naw i've been refreshing this page for over 20 times hoping to see a new msg until this...
we can't all be peeping w/out commenting naw (mysef inclusive)...but i've broken that spell today...

j-slimz, bantie, obinoral, omoT my person, shrimati, sotenna, alaji, dimples, winnie, obinoral, odebbs, funpeter, mikigen, saintalone, chioma emenu and all d great people of dis house i hail you o...thankx for keeping d house in order....

Bros I bin go visit one section wey I discover newly for nl...I hail you too.

saintalone: yes ooo... Call-Up nos/ correction list due in abt 3wks time... Oluwa di ok! HNM GUYS

Oluwa di okay my brother.

64 days to go!
Glory be to Jah!
This is the month we'll get our call up numbers right?...can't wait to see how happy we'd all turn out to be that very day.

Happy sunday family...