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E-Madness and E-Azontoing Loading...

Finally the thing fit enter E-Limpopo things.

Beauty4Christ: I can tell, just give me few days, i'll come up wit d exact day and time!

Glance at your watch and tell me when it'll be called off.

No matter how expensive your wrist watch is, if it can't tell the time ASUU will call off the strike, it's as useless as the "AY" in "OKAY".

Good morning people!

Mazi_Omenuko: It will be my pleasure. I'll be informing you of the amount of condoms to carry to camp and how to avoid morning parades and where best to stay for your sexcapades

It will indeed be my pleasure

Mazi I will soon castrate you.
Your share of sexcapades have crossed your lifes boundry.

Helenqollinz: Gud mornin friends.J-slimz,Remar nd Sotenna(Mazi convert)i hail una o.

I'll soon convert you.

I've been smiling sheepishly since I woke up...hmmm.

What did I eat yesternight?...Over strong garri and draw soup.

Who did I speak to last before I slept?...Helen Q.

Who did I sleep with?...Nobody.

Who did I see first this morning?...My dad.

So what exactly is causing this silly smiles?

Mazi_Omenuko: And that's what the scheme has turned out to be for most people. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. When you're thru with that, find the sequel to it called PPA; Place of Promiscuous Assignment.

Oga Mazi you're truly evil...I must confess.

I hope all those things are just stories.

mikigen: hahahahahaha u dn eat d forbiden fruit be dat o na deliverance sure pass 4 u o

Imanuelle: abeg shift .
no enter this house oh until you soak yourself inside klin
lol, mazi is undoubtedly a stylish and captivating writer.
But e too blue .

mazi omenuko needs to repent

mikigen: hahahahahaha u dn eat d forbiden fruit be dat o na deliverance sure pass 4 u o

If that guy na devil...then he's got many souls to call his.
I need to wash my eyes clean.

Since I took real interest in naira land...not just years back when I registered, but recently...I started reading things from online friends about this guy Mazi Omenuko.
Today I decided to pay one of his popular threads a visit, brothers and sisters what I've read so far I no fit talk am finish...na so my eyes dey glued on my screen like say the phone jazz me.

National Year of Sex and Comfort.

That's what he called it.

Good morning mates...

Funpeter: Where have u been? You and your macCoka?

Good question.

The fact that you were born.
Is proof, God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now.
But one day you will see.
That all that came before.
Was truly meant to be.
God wrote the book that is Life.
That’s all you need to know.
Each day that you are living.
Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers.
So be proud of who you are.
Your character is important.
In this book, you are the ‘Star’…God has a plan and
purpose for all of us!!!

Good morning people.

I pray ASUU and the FG comes to an agreement before the week runs out to avoid things going FUBAR for my university buddies.

Girl : What are you doing ?

Akpos : Killing mosquitoes.

Girl : How many have you killed ?

Akpos : Total of 5 ( 3 females 2 males )

Girl : How did you know that ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Akpos : 3 sitting near the mirror, 2 near the beer...

It's even same with insects

Turtles limpopoing...

Oya wey those people wey wan enjoy weekend with me?
E don set oh...make I go bring Heineken come.

Alenkakent: No ♠ can't...when ASUU,Fg,oau and mobilization wahala dey burst my brain...sick and tired

Bro when you go wear that your baggy jump-up khaki trouser by November and grinning in a photograph on facebook...I bet you won't be remembering this your comment.

Good morning buddies...have a nice weekend if you can.

Imanuelle: i have gone dumb on this ASUU issue

Seriously after their last meeting I thought that they were making a headway.

These a*rseholes are bent on f*cking all university students and graduates awaiting service thru every damn hole available.

What kind of stupid blundering goatfuck are ASUU and the FG engaged in?! What kind of unreliable system are we into in this god-awful country?!

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/08/fg-not-ready-to-end-strike-ASUU/

ajoskele: lolz...my faculty dean gave the order bch n comp sci results shd not be presented at the senate

Oga it must work out well for all of us.

Hausa couple went to London and lodged in a hotel. In the middle of the night, his wife started screaming, "Bera! Bera!" (Bera being the Hausa word for mouse) The husband called room service to lay a complaint but he didn't know the English word for "Bera", so the following dialogue ensued:

Husband: "Alo? Is zat za room sabis"?

Room service: "Good evening sir. How can I help you?"

Husband: "Walahi zia is sometin in za room fa."

Room service: "Pardon me sir but what exactly is it?".

Husband: "Err.....u know za pim Tom and Jerry ko"?

Room service: "Yes sir I know Tom & Jerry quite well."

Husband: "Tau! Wallahi za Jerry is here fa"!

Imanuelle: country 5

I see...

and please take heart about the death of your friend.
That bulletproof-wearing pastor gotta own up for this mess.

Imanuelle: yeah bro.

I move around alot.

Where in particular?

APPLICATION LETTER BY AKPORS

Dear sir,

I am Name is tenager, I apply to my job of security
guard to you boss in your company of ECO BANK.
I am complete to Sitted 7 examination certificate in 2003. My skool here... Okingo OBE very good. I am 29 ears to be Born of age and no wafe and no childish.

My father dead long time ago and my mother is marry in
BENIN REPUBLIC country there 10 years n
ow, no sees her until now, so nobody known to help me...no
money and food and tea and drink.

My certificate is just sitting in home for itself, but passes
in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but
fail in English because of Ofuaku Albert teacher teaching
me is look jelous of myself. Me because wear expenses
cloth and shoe than teacher igbo.

I here that people you want security guards to your company and I...... tell you I am one of that job experience for 2 years looking video for Rambo I, II and III. I also shot thief dead.

Iwant to join the company of You and chase criminal and thief out with SMG of me. I can fight for SMG, arrow, spear, panga, knife, stick and stones. Me also can fight for boxing like Tyson. Please consider my aplication very careful and call me any time because me have hand telephone now. I am red for interview with you if you like me.

Me have no photocopy certificate because the photocopy
machine there at Niger Delta shop is a long time and
very old it can mistake spelling in the certificate, that is
why.I am very hornest and I didn't steal since I born
until now, I can speak English free. I have no very much
to right I have end here.
Please also greet your wife and childish!

Yours faithfully
akpos.

Imanuelle: here in imo state

Are you in Imo state?

Three sperm cells were discussing their futures.

This was how it went...

Sperm 1: I'll love to be a doctor when I'm born.

Sperm 2:I'll love to be a footballer when I'm born.

Sperm 3: I'll love to be...OMG!!!

Sperms 1& 2: What?!!!

Sperm 3: Our future is a pipe dream, the S.O.B is m*sturbating!!!

Imanuelle: may the gates of adamawa camp never prevail against thee.. .

May the gates of bornu camp bow on your arrival!

Imanuelle: in the spirit of this,

May the olumo rock of mobilization fall on you !

...may you find yourself under the Zuma rock of NYSC. lol