₦airaland Forum

Sorry Yemmi I've been reading thru what I missed...I don't make magic sim, airtel discouraged me last month when they evaporated my 19gig worth of data bundle which I manipulated out of their formerly bugged network. Since then I've not done anything on that line of work.

And I can't help but notice that everyone seem to be bonding with an opposite gender...I beg I get one for mind wey I don dey eye, I hope she hasn't been claimed or let say she hasn't claimed anyone yet. Lol.

hopeyemmy: Let's get familiar. Ain't no time for those long words.

Biochemistry, u read? U fit make atomic bomb?

Yeah not the explosive part, but leave the bioweapon side for me, I can easily put some deadly viruses together.

But my guy na computer networking be my main mojo.

hopeyemmy: Banttie, Sotenna and Cdoffx, greetings!

My brother well done...longest time.

Got this from a friend, I don't know if it's a joke though, I've been laughing since I read it.

I was driving down the road and was just about entering my street when a policeman suddenly opened my rear door and jumped into my car and quickly shut the door after which he turned around and noticed he wasn't the only one at the back seat.

Beside him sat my giant well groomed but fierce looking German shepherd.

Then the following discussion took place between us.

Policeman: Ah! my oga where you dey come from?

Me: (with a the worst frown I can put on) From the hospital.

Policeman: Sorry Oh, you dey sick?

Me: No na the dog.

Policeman: (now sweating profusely) took a sneak peek at my dog and asked, why the tongue dey stick out like that?

Me: Ah na so e dey stick out if him wan bite person oh!

Policeman: I beg how you dey take open this your door? Na since wey I notice the dog I don dey try open am.

Me: You no sabi as you take open am before? Follow like that open am now.

Policeman: (now visibly shaking like a leaf in the wind) I beg I'm very sorry, please help your brother out.

I took pity on the poor guy and pressed the automatic switch that controls the doors and the door was opened and the policeman practically dived out of the car and ran with his heels hitting his tail as he ran for his dear life.

Battery low...logging off.

shrimati: I want you to tell me you are kidding!

Well we'll know how serious I'm the next time that animal lays a finger on that lady.

I'm warming up to do something I did three years ago...which is beating up a policeman.

I've got this neighbour, a policeman, this guy incessantly beats his wife, most times just outside their house in a public view.

If you marry a lady you've to accord her maximum respect, I'm not big on love things, but I'm speaking from rational sense. If the bond that brought about the marriage can't hold any longer simply come to an understanding and settle the issue like human beings worthy of being part of the 21st century.

If a policeman behaves like this what will ordinary citizens do?

I've thought of calling in his fellow cops on him, but it won't possibly work.

So I'm planning to give the man the beating of his life, I told him that this morning when he was about starting his wife battering routine, and that threat momentarily stopped his insanity. I usually tell people before dealing with them.

When I was in year two in school a policeman tried extorting us on our way to a burial ceremony, a bus full of students, I had him beaten up, it didn't go down well with me either, cos they traced me to my school the next day, I was locked up and got my own share of the beating.

But that's a chance I'm willing to take again.

cdoffx: how your nite be sir. Hope say sleep don commot for your face before we begin the drill o

Yes sir...here is our flag

cdoffx: Warm good morning to all Otondo to be in the house. Our drill this morning is not too hard. For the guys, well i mean the able men here the drill goes thus. Form a team each and make a flag for yourself, to be the winning team then you must hoist your flag over there first .lol. Since shawrygal is here i leave for with the ladies.
Abeg bros Sotenna come my side. Make u pick another person to join our team jare

All the way good to go sir.

Good morning ladies and gents...slept like a log! Great morning all thanks to God!

If you help me see ego make you tell am I don go...still coiled up in bed and listening to Ego by Djinee.

WinnieDPooh: Can you imagine? So bad. And i like the way you write and your choice of words so detailed and straight to the point. Kudos. Make you no allow your head swell sha *winks*

Lol! I no see this one in time. Thanks babe!

j-slimz:
@Sotenna true. That's what is obtainable. If your an ordinary person with no dough, you'll be certainly overlooked and taken for a tide.
By the way, I love the way you write.

Thanks ma'am!

saintalone: Feel u bro.
Lets see how it goes sha. A friend of mine is serving in Nigeria Army, Calabar... I might ff his footstep as a stepping stone. Also a computer scientist, he works in their signals division
Lots of options sha... Even outside the military zone sef.

We don dey plenty wey dey target to join the armed forces.

banttieman: I'm taking it easy bro. The spirit of God is moving.

If I hear...na two together dey facilitate the spirit's movement?

banttieman: Winnie daaaarling. How are you in this freezing weather?need I tell you what I need?

Weather for two, pregnancy for one, cover yourself with blanket and drink hot tea.

Winnie run for your dear life, unless you wan serve for maternity home. Lol!

Banty easy Oh!

saintalone: I sight you bro. Very good story there men. I hope people get the msg in it.

Welcome brother

Right now I don't know where I want to serve...I'm letting God decide.

I've not left the east since I was born, so I don't know any better place to go.

My younger brother is schooling at FUTMINNA he said the place is cool.

I used to know the northerners for their agricultural practices, they are good at cultivating food crops, but now some unscrupulous elements have decided to be cultivating bombs instead.

I didn't spend 18 years of my life schooling only to end up as a target practice specimen for some trigger happy terrorists.

WinnieDPooh: Goodevening...

Same to you sis!

Helenqollinz: Sotenna,i hail u 2 o.

My sister I sight you jaree!

cdoffx: right now in a stern and alert pose saluting my oga. Morning sir.

My brother well done oh

WinnieDPooh, cdoffx, saintalone, Helenqollinz, obinoral...and others invincible I hail una!

I don't know when Nigeria will be better, starting from it's citizens.

I've been absent from this thread today because I had to visit my school because of this JAMB regularisation issue. Currently the school is on strike, but the DSA dept is still functioning.

I went to see my NYSC desk officer, I got there by 1154hrs and met the man outside his office locking his door, I went straight to him and greeted him, and politely told him I came looking for him, and before I could finish the statement he told me to go back home and come back tomorrow. I smiled and told him that I'm just here to make an enquiry. I asked him if anything is going on with regards to the regularisation stuff...he sternly ordered me to leave his presence, so I smiled again and left, he also headed out of the building, on getting out it started raining, I headed for my car while he himself ran into a corridor to shelter himself from the rain. I drove close to the corridor, opened the door and waved him in, when he came in and saw who was behind the wheel I could sense his discomfort, I smiled again, and asked him where he was headed, he told me and I drove off, when he settled down, he now politely apologised for his earlier actions and asked me to tell him my story, I told him everything, he gave me the answers I needed, and we exchanged phone numbers. Before the short ride was over we were best of friends.

This guy was employed to help students irrespective of how rich or poor they are, irrespective of how tall or short they are, irrespective of the tribe or religion they belong to, irrespective of how handsome, beautiful or ugly they are, but this guy clearly was out to help the *well to do(s)* of the students, too bad.

If I had no car and wasn't opportuned to give him a lift I wouldn't have merited his attention. I'm not that rich but I'm comfortable, and I know oppression when I see it.

Tomorrow if something goes wrong he will have the guts to ask God *why me?*

This is the picture of our Nigeria.

Good day buddies! Howdy?!

j-slimz:
Drop the bitter kola joor.

No vex say I chop the food small, the thing been dey hungry me. No vex o!!

e-Food. lol! Make una come join me oh madam J Don grace my table.

j-slimz:
Lol

I don give u food now, you no go talk o!!

Mama J thanks for the food Oh!

As a normal guy I like girls, sure, but not too much, but since I got to know the difference between boys and girls na all these girls wey don tear eye finish dey always follow me, I no know wetin dey attract them come my side, all these types wey be say if dem tell you say dem go kill you then you're as good as dead.

I hear am for those my five years in school, I can remember taking one of them out just to beg her to turn her attention elsewhere. I go pray wella before I go go service, I no need that experience again, not even from secondary school kids.

j-slimz:
Hahahaha
This one wey the talk hard you? Oya sing Omawumi's song.

If you ask meee...na who I go aaask, no be mee go talk aaam, e heavy for moouuth. Lol! Madam J leave me oh!

WinnieDPooh: Hmnn what did the girl tell you?

Sister e go hard me to talk...serious.
Na me fear and na me shy, I think say na dream I dey dream.

Funpeter: Na so he dey happen dere oooo some corpers bad oooo

But finally some of those little things don open eyes finish, some of them are highly possessed by evil spirits.

Back when I was in school, there was this girl in my lodge who gave me and my roommate quite a scare, what that girl told me, I've not heard it from any girl before. When I ran for my dear life, she transferred her attention to my roommate.

j-slimz:
Sorry dear, i'll do so next time.

Okay Oh! Make I dey one corner dey manage the bitter kola wey I get here.

saintalone: An annomymous survey recently showed that over 70% of secondary school girls get disvirgined by male corpers !

Guys abeg make una no lead bad example o... Chai!

Secondary school girls...haba! Dem be small children now, wetin corper dey find with dem.
Na this kind small children wey dey SS3 wey full my side wey person wan go touch?

XpensiveT: Lolzzz..Boss Sotenna , no be say i just dey peep ooo....i be correct and registered member of this great house. E be like say you dey among the new JJC wey i just dey see ur names for the first time. Anyway, nice to meet you here. make i just introduce myself to u. Me no dey rep any yeye skul but still on still OOU, Biochemistry class '12...Batch C'13 all da way. #Sharp#

Me, Biochemistry class 12, Batch C'13.
Fed Polytechnic Nekede, Owerri.

So we're both biochemists...great!

XpensiveT your own be say you don dey peep since morning...we go sacrifice albino mosquito and black eggs from a broiler for you before you go show face?

This one na XpensiveP now P for peeping oh.