Sweek ke? Serubawon don dazzle am. Lol

@ Serubawon you fit be winch. Afterall like Moremi2008's mother you are sacrificing to raise successful kids. That seems to be the yardstick for witchcraft these days.

@ Serubawon you see the pic on my profile? It captures my essence in every way. . . . .for my mind. Lol. After two kids I like to kid myself that I can still bring it!
@ Salsera the poor neighbors probably think we are getting attacked or something. Make dem dey wonder.

I sure will Serubawon.
@ Kokoye don't mind him. Partial to cute women. Ha ha.

Blah blah serubawon. If I find myself in Houston please make arrangements to meet. Lol. The funny thing is I've never met a nairalander. No one even knows my user name. So I can 'misbehave' here.

Jenny, I'm not a drinker. Neither do I have to resort to any aid to prepare for *Ahem*. . .action. I was born ready. And in bed I have no inhibitions. I am a lady in the streets and a real slut in the bed. The spanking, hair pulling and loud noisy head board banging sessions have all been without alcohol.
Dear hubby isn't much of a drinker but when he has a buzz going on he turns into a completely shameless caveman and I love it. He practically slings me over his shoulder and drags me into his lair for ravishing. This is not a complaint oh. Lol. Alcohol doesn't impair him but then again he never drinks to excess.

@ Ruedan,
No you didn't stumble on here by mistake.
The good lord will see your family friend through. Not an easy journey especially with a baby in the picture but with family and friends lending support it'll get a bit easier with each passing day. Abi serubawon?

@ chaircover, I've told myself several times to slow down but its hard to do with several things to be done. I've devised multi tasking methods to knock out several chores in one fell swoop but I still need to let some things go. Weekends I'm like a robotic sterilizing machine armed with my arm and hammer bath scrubbing foam dispenser. I can't possibly get the needed rest knowing fully well that the bathrooms haven't been cleaned etc etc. Even lying in bed my mind will be creating its usual to do list. Its ridiculous. At this rate i'm inviting a stroke. Lol. You're so right. If hubby doesn't do it right I don't have to do the frigging thing over.

@ serubawon
You took him to a chinese buffet? All that MSG! God oh!! I go die oh! Too funny. Motherhood is not a small thing. Some days I just sit in my car for two minutes before going into the house or office and just scream!!! For real its like where am I going to get the energy to do it all? And I have a husband. To the single mothers. . , . I can only say your reward is in heaven.
@ Moremi2008
Such forgiveness as shown by your mother is remarkable. It just amazes me how men will sometimes leave a virtous woman to be with whores who only see a meal ticket. It onlyy ends one way. . . . Bad.

Happy new year everyone! I have been incredibly overwhelmed with career and family. Its a never ending juggling act. Anyway here I am. Can't stay away from you guys.
Ehen Salsera, I dey on the constant lookout for you but na your location no dey help matters. Two out of four no bad sha. Lol.

Serubawon, how you dey? New year new opportunities abi? Keep on keeping on
@ Moremi2008, they think your mother is a witch huh? Because she scrapped her kids to success through sheer sacrifice? Unbelievabley funny. You couldn't have cracked a funnier joke.

To all the married womenfolk here with kids, how do you do it? I am that woman who is constantly on the go. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and I just want to bawl! How do you guys stay sane?? Aside from destressing with you know what. . . . . . . . . .ehehe ehe ehe.

@ Serubawon
This your thesis eh. . . . .
I'm suspecting it oh. At the end of the project you will know what kind of freaks you have as friends on here. Lol.

@ Iamconfused

Okay where do I start?
My husband is a good man with a good heart. However, when it comes to communicating sometimes I scratch my head puzzled at how different we are. He says I nag. I see it differently. If I don't say something or give friendly reminders, chores will go undone and all our pillow talk plans will fall through. If I remind him as the deadline approaches there'll be an accusation of nagging. If I don't, guess who will end up running all those errands?! Moi. I think guys use that verse in the bible to cover their shortcomings. they accuse you of nagging at the drop of a hat.

I have started to take on more responsibilities so as not to fight. Deciding what schools or daycare the kids go to, making and keeping doctors and dental appointments etc its all me. Even for things that concern HIM I have to remind him. otherwise guess who's plans on that day will have to change to accomodate him running around like a headless chicken?

One thing Ive never quite understood is his inability to say sorry. We'll fight due to him being annoying as heck. At the end of the day on his way back from work he'll buy me something sugary like nice cookies, etc. Or a store bought card saying how I'm the best thing ever. I'll eat the cookies, read the card and have great make up sex with him (yeah I said that!). and just like that we're friends again without actually discussing the real issues or him actually acknowledging my hurt. Besides if he always apologizes with a snack i'm going to get fat! Not on the agenda oh!

I'm a go getter, planner and thinker aheader. I have no patience for dillydallying etc. He for some reason thinks its a bad thing. Though I've always thought he benefits greatly from me being the way I am. His life is smooth and easy and he confidently knows that wifey will take care of everything. I often tell him if I were like him we would be lost like sheep.

I have learnt to let chores go undone without it bothering me to death. Or I'll just vaccum myself. Yeah I'll be even more exhausted but at least a fight was averted so to me that's a win. It doesnt matter if its career moves, housework, child care, relationships with friends, we have tried to compromise as we go along. Its not all perfect but we make it work. I talk less (not that I was even a great talker to start with). I like to watch him crash and burn. (he may learn a thing or two. . , eventually, LoL)

I have also learnt to not stress about everything. There'll always be tomorrow for him to take care of some of them. . . . . .if he remembers.

@ Iamconfused.
Your situation is not peculiar to you alone.
I am at work right now but I too will be back to tell you how I sometimes communicate badly with Mr Spoilt. And yeah he thinks I'm a nag. Hahaha.

Hi guys!
@ Nemesis, I think Serubawon will be suspicious of you trying to match make him. Heck, I'm suspicious. Just leave him be aiight?

@ the others
He doesn't need to have a word with her hubby. That will make it bigger than it really is. Its just a case of her feeling she really knows him.

@ Lady Salsera
Where do you live?

chaircover:

LOL at whats your flavor  

My theory on this is that the good solid men of integrity are seen as rather too effico and boring and young women never seem to notice them. Eventually they will be picked off the shelf and they are the ones that transform into very good husbands.

I have seen women give up responsible boyfriends for silly reasons like "he is too quiet" only to end up marrying a Mr Koko master. Flashy things do get boring after a while especially when you have moved on in life and you are sitting at home with 4 kids, yet the guy is still pulling club girls every weekend.

The razz boys are the ones who young women tend to flock round and they are the ones who give the most trouble when they get married.

Thats just my take on the issue  

Yes oh! Its all about the flavor. Race, ethnicity, personality, passions, etc. An open mind only gives one more options to meet great people. I tend to find nerdy guys very attractive. The louder, more garrulous and flashy a guy is the faster I run in the opposite direction. Have empty barrels not always made the most noise? I'm still preaching to my single friends that nerds have substance and hidden potential. Plus behind closed doors.  . .  .  .  .  .  they can show you that butter is not the food of a monkey.   Not so nerdy after all huh? *Coughs* I digress.  
Anyway one may have trials and tribulations and meet some snakes before finding the one. Its all part of the journey. It will all be worthwhile when you find the one.

@Salsera
I quit Nairaland myself for years. Couldn't deal with the nonsense. Serubawon's thread basically brought me back. I'm not even really posting anywhere else right now. My son is number two and my hands are full. I still remember the men above 35 thread. My sister real men are not exactly a dime a dozen but they exist. My sister what's your flavor? I may have one white boy for you.

@ serubawon
If we had found out that you lied eh. . . We would have all given you village square beating. Lol.
How are the kids?

serubawon:

Madam, my head is beginning to swell o

Ehe ehe hehe. ;
A bevy of women telling you how great you are? Why head no go swell? Make e no go explode oh. Joking aside, you are just being your true self. You're a great guy. I know that even though we've never met.

@ Analytical, what can I say but thanks. You broke it down for Serubawon and all of us.
Its great that there are still men out there who have good heads on their shoulders. The way all men are portrayed in everyday life and in the media makes me mad. You would think there are no good men left who look after their kids and focus on family. You guys give us hope. When I watch those home videos (which is rarely) and see men continuously depicted as immoral, self seeking brutes, I shake my head because I know great guys like you two.

@ Jenny
Too personal? I don't think so. Don't know how you interprete casual dating. I don't think its what you have in mind though. Besides he has always answered the questions he is asked how he wants to and it has helped everyone including silent readers. He is not obliged to answer anythin. Jesus is his comfort and his kids are his focus. we all know that. But the drive for companionship is very strong.

I think we should also leave the prittigrr issue alone.

Seems this thread is bringing people out. Matured minds. . . . . .not the crazies.

So Serubawon are you dating casually or not at all? How do you combat the loneliness?

^^^ I think so too. A single girl just may not grasp the import of his journey. A single mother of like mind may be a better bet just because she gets it. But then again who knows God plan?

@ Serubawon
Whatever you do stay away from 'people' who ask where your kids will live after the marriage! Buhahhahaha. Gosh! That's stand up comedy material!

@ Yogun

The weekend is low key. In doors with Mr Spoilt and the kids. We're just watching movies and chilling. My son is only 2 months old so I've been taking things easy.


@ serubawon, the madam title aint so bad. About time I owned it even though I look like barbie. Lol.

@ Serubawon
Mercy! It is well. I can see how Chrismas time will bring back memories. Thanks for sharing, I hope you can fall in love again. It sure does sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Bless you.

Errrr. . . . . .I see you had called me madam. Lol. I neither feel or even look like a madam.


@ Salsera
Where the heck have you been?

Ilemima:

I am one of the ghost nairalanders, i come on this forum everyday for the past 3 years but never registered, just had to today so i can comment on this thread;

Every one should leave seru and pritti alone, they will get to it in their own time?
While i think Seru is an amazing dad, i was just wondering if he in some way contributed to the breakup of d last engagement? ( minus- the dishonesty issue)
I really wish you all the best and God's wisdom in the years ahead.

Ekabo!
So what do you have going on in your life that we can help you with? Just kidding! Happy to meet you.

I think he already copped to the fact that he allowed himself to be pressured into the relationship. I think that shd make us lay off trying to matchmake him with pretty girl. Abi? Besides he probably has some mojo left and can get out his hunting gear when he's ready. Lol.
@ Serubawon, when you said she was immature was she one of those twenty somethings who one paper look great? Who was pushed forward by 'auntys' to look after you? You did mention that you are forty something. An age appropriate woman would be the way to go wheen the time is right. The folly of youth and inexperience is not what you have time for.

Oh and the part about where will his kids live. , , , , Was she high as a kite when she asked that?
I had to shake my head to clear it then looked again to make sure I read right. That was definitely a crimson red flag if I ever saw one.

Jenny this thread is 9 pages long and no one had asked. I thought I actually missed it cos I was away from the thread for some time. Its sensitive obviously. Anyway I've often wondered. I try to show my husband how much I love him. Tomorrow is not promised. We have our fights and all but at the end of the day I don't want him doubting my love. True love is hard to replace. If we've learnt nothing from this thread we at least have learnt that.

I don't mean to be extra nosey but I don't think you told us what happened to your wife.
Its quite obvious you loved her. Its great your kids are your priority. Our culture puts pressure on men to remarry quickly just so there's someone to help with the kids. Take your time. Women are a dime a dozen. It'll take a matured woman to cope with you ready made family and the circumstances by which it came about.

If I knew you would be so forthcoming, I would have asked this a long time ago.
She was illegal in the U.S? Damn! She sulked when your late wife was mentioned? Hmmmm. I remember offering my ten cents (pages ago) asking you not to beat her about the head with the love of your kids. A new wife needs to enjoy being a new bride without feeling like she's competing with kids. If she is insecure all the time though then it was best to part ways.

Serubawon you never did say what caused your broken engagement. Just curious. How does one go from thinking they had found the one to backtracking very quickly? Unfortunately you may not share for us to learn since the anonymous factor has been compromised.

Just juggle both. No one man can satisfy all your needs, LOL . . . . . . . . . .