Sprinklepee's Posts
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officialwdhtv:can you imagine, so called apostle, he do am finish na, he don japa. |
Jennai:please how? |
Kwame had an accident and he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor said to him, "You have one bad leg and one good leg. So we will have to cut off the bad leg." Kwame agreed. After the operation, the doctor said to him, "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first. Kwame said, "Tell me the bad news first." The doctor continued, "I cut off the wrong leg." Kwame furious, shouted, "What?! What's the good news?" The doctor said, "The other leg is getting better |
Back in those days, there were different kinds of students, We had... The NERDS, they were so booky but they never scored high marks. The NOISE MAKERS, always at the back of the class cracking your ribs and causing trouble for the whole class. That ONE student loved by all d teachers, doesn't read but tops the whole class. The STUBBORN student who was intelligent but hated by all teachers. The BEAUTY QUEEN of the class who's always looking out for her cleanliness. The CLEAN GUYS who got the swag that every other student would like to emulate. The NOSY Students always gossiping. The CHALK worms, always at the board writing. The DAYDREAMERS always dreaming when they should be studying. Also the ONLOOKERS, they don't blend with anyone, they just look and observe. So where do you belong? Cc:lalasticlala, nlfpmod |
Back in those days, there were different kinds of students, We had... The NERDS, they were so booky but they never scored high marks. The NOISE MAKERS, always at the back of the class cracking your ribs and causing trouble for the whole class. That ONE student loved by all d teachers, doesn't read but tops the whole class. The STUBBORN student who was intelligent but hated by all teachers. The BEAUTY QUEEN of the class who's always looking out for her cleanliness. The CLEAN GUYS who got the swag that every other student would like to emulate. The NOSY Students always gossiping. The CHALK worms, always at the board writing. The DAYDREAMERS always dreaming when they should be studying. Also the ONLOOKERS, they don't blend with anyone, they just look and observe. So where do you belong? |
So can't Satan apologize to God so we go back to the garden of Eden to stay there naked? Clothes are very expensive now. Just imagine Nicki Minaj, cardi b, tiwa savage, yemi alade, nkechi blessing, destiny etiko, in front of you, bent down and harvesting some tomatoes, the world will surely be a better place to live in... Oh Eve, why did you chew that apple? WHY ! |
A Guy got this job at a condom factory and was very happy when they offered him the position of quality control. This position comes with a condition, which is to test 1 out of every 100 condoms manufactured. He was to start his new job the next day. He came to work early in the morning, he was to undergo some training process that same day before he could work on his own. The manager agreed to train him himself. He was taken round the line as the manager explain his responsibilities to him. Eventually, the supervisor comes to let the manager know that they have reached the number 100. The supervisor was a very beautiful young girl and so the manager followed the supervisor to the office. Getting to the office and to the surprise of the new employee, the supervisor pulls down the trouser of the manager, pulls out a condom and started giving him a Mouth Gig! The manager responded by pulling her shirt up and doing it right there with her. The supervisor said to him, "This is your duty This is even more interesting than I thought." he said. The next day, he came to work very early and there he was on the line counting, making sure they are going as fast as possible. Eventually, the supervisor came again and said they have reached the number 100. He was moving really fast toward his office. Getting to his office, he quickly takes down his trousers and requested that the supervisor go down on him. She replies, "It is our custom for every new employee to go with the hand job for a year first." |
During World War Two a British fighter pilot was shot down in Germany and was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt badly, so the German doctor amputated his arm. The pilot requested that they drop his arm over at his base in England. So the Germans did. The next week they amputated his other arm and he asked the same thing. The Germans complied. The next week they amputated one of his legs, and he again asked for them to drop it over at his base in England. The German Doctor replied, "No! I'm doing this no more!" The pilot asked why not and the German replied, "You are trying to escape |
Rich went for a job interview and this is the conversation that ensued... INTERVIEWER: What can you do best? Rich: Sleeping! I can even do it with my eyes closed |
A lady broke the traffic signal... POLICE: Stop!!! LADY: Please let me go... I am a teacher. POLICE: Aahaa! I have been waiting for this moment all my life... Now write, "I Will never break a signal 100 times |
DOCTOR: I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first? PATIENT: Do begin with the bad news, please. DOCTOR: Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS. PATIENT: Oh My God! What's the good news? DOCTOR: The good news is that there is no more bad news. |
James had been a stockbroker for twenty-five years and was finally sick of the stress. He quitted his job and bought ten acres of land in Obudu far from humanity as possible. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded and burly man standing there. "Name's John Thomas, your neighbour from two miles over the hills, I'm having a party this Saturday at 7pm, thought you'd like to come." "Great," said James, "After six months of this, I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As John Thomas was leaving, he stopped, "Got to warn you, there's going to be some drinking." "Not a problem, After twenty-five years in Lagos, I can drink with the best of them." Again, as he started to leave, John Thomas stopped, "There's likely going to be some fighting too." "Hmmmm," James thought, "Tough crowd. Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again John Thomas turned from the door, "I've seen some wild sex at these parties too." "Now that's not a problem," said James, "remember, I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" John Thomas stopped in the door again and said, "I should tell you this, the party it's just going to be the two of us." |
Nigerian Parents will put "BEWARE OF DOGS" sign on their house gates when their daughters are in the adolescent stage and looking cute. Once they're 30, they change the sign to "ICE BLOCK SOLD HERE |
So, yesterday I took a girl out on a date and after we finished eating, I went to pay for the food we ate, the waiter didn't have 500 naira change to give me. I asked the girl to sit let's wait for the waiter to go look for change and surprisingly she said I was embarrassing her, that I should act like a big Guy and leave the change for the waiter... Is she crazy?! Is she mad?! Does she know the things 500 naira can do? I guess she doesn't. Well, let me highlight few of the things 500 naira can do in case she doesn't know... 500 naira can buy you 5 loaves of bread and two fishes, if you are lucky to have Jesus around, you will feed 5000 people... It's that the money she want me to leave? Sardine = N150, indomie (hungry man size) = N100, 2 eggs = N60, plastic Coke = 100. Total N410, and you say 500 naira is small money? I'll use 500 naira to buy 3 albums and good earpiece? Rice N100, beans N50, meat N100, plastic malt N100 and remaining 150 to play Nairabet... and she says 500 naira is chicken change? I swear she's not well. I hope she knows that half carton of Indomie noodles is N500 naira. Do you know how many players Arsene Wenger of Arsenal will buy with 500 Naira? The most annoying thing is that it's possible this girl has never given 500 naira offering for church On a serious note, you won't know the value of 500 naira, until you borrow 500 naira credit from MTN and you have to pay back |
A wife went to a psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally, he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point, the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us |
On Judgement Day, I'll just hold the Nigerian Flag, and my Photo I.D card, to show God that I have already been through hell... He'll give me an automatic to Heaven |
QUESTION: What is the definition of "Trouble"? ANSWER: Trouble is when a Soldier reprimands (punish) you and releases you to go, but you jump onto your Motor Bike (Okada) and shouts, "Officer, You are very stupid!!!", suddenly, your bike refuses to start |
[quote author=DaddyFreeze2020 post=119554303][/quote]that same benin bypass na my dad take do e own 220km/ph with that e mercedes benz E300, even inside warri my dad dey drive 180km/ph. |
;DUna nor go kill person for this country |
cypher9ja:Op na this kind argument na i nor wan dey involve myself |
I go just allow that word fuvk or bleep, to the normal word f**k. |
Odewaleadesoye:happy new year to all the Op in the house, more blessing, more money, joy unlimited |
Kokorokomaster1:how far, u find another girl na, there are many single girls outside there, nor go kill urself bcoz of one mumu girl wey nor love u |
ImmanuelMyron:i see am like that, if na that be the case make he lock up the matter na, nor con dey put us for stress join the one wey we dey face for country abeg. |
AyemafugeILAJE:Awa yee..... Op i sight u |
Sprinklepee:because if you dey wait another sharp go collect am take that time she go tell u say u too late, just tell her straight away. |
Kokorokomaster1:how far op, how una take dey do am wey una go just fall inlove, coz i nor understand, my brother tell her your mind and listen to her response, she might like you too, just that she want you to make the move first. |
aribisala0:yeah you are right op, i love the legendary Beautiful Nubia and my favorite Asa. |
isaaczik: |
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