₦airaland Forum

You think you know all colours until Yoruba people start sending you wedding invitation

You'll see something like this: Acid Green on Fushia Purple with little touch of Ojuelegba blue.

Bride's family to wear Cockroach Brown with Custard Yellow.

Groom's family; Jollof Yellow with Fufu White.

Friends; Coconut White with Agama Lizard Head.

While all other guests should wear Pomo Brown on Alligator Pepper Green with a touch of Onion Purple and Maggi Yellow

This Dog is Dog what Dog you Dog use Dog to Dog keep Dog an Dog idiot Dog busy Dog for Dog 20 Dog seconds Dog.

Read again without the word "Dog

A burglar broke into a house one night and as he grab the stereo, he heard a voice saying "Jesus is watching you!". He froze in his tracks and has he shined his flash light around the room, he noticed a parrot in the corner, he said angrily "did you say that" the parrot answered back "Yep, I'm just trying to warn you".

The burglar looked puzzled and said "Warn me? Who are you", the parrot said "my name is Moses". He laughed and said "What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses..." the parrot replied "the same kind of people who would name a hundred and fifty pound rottweiler Jesus

[]Drop your number if you are interested. Strictly for matured minds. [/08144147792]

[quote author=meedoLock post=118353892]Happy Sunday friends!

Just reasoning..........What is the weirdest name you saved a number with on your phone contact list?

Mine is "cumm" [b][/b][b][/b][like me i get, i get cynthia market, favour junction, sarah peppersoup, jane runs, amaka olosho, joy indomie]

You go hear something like, ogolonto bus stop, ajaguna, itamaga, ebute ipakodo, agric bus stop, haruna bus stop, tos benson bus stop, all in ikorodu

[quote author=Playloaded post=118220524]An Uber driver was left devastated after he discovered that the lady whom he had been dating for three years left him to marry another man.

The heartbreaking tale was shared on the micro blogging platform, Twitter by a Tweep identified as @cassy_collins_.

According to Cassy, the driver revealed to her that he had dropped his longtime girlfriend at a car on a Tuesday and had no idea that she was tying the knot on a Saturday with another man.

The Twitter user revealed that the devastated driver was in tears while recounting the experience.

In her words;



https://twitter.com/cassy_collins_/status/1589736805053919236?t=lHGa2SbhP5ZmP_JjE3XN2A&s=19[doings, omo thank God say i don commot hand from anything love or relationship]

[quote author=illicit post=118164212]But las las na apprentice ashawo/olosho dey sweet pass sha


[/quote OP i sight you, na dem sweet pass. Light up my weed]

This one don swallow kwale weed. Op how you see am

[quote author=HopeSpencer post=117757820]Don't mind those oloriburuku companies. Bet9ja knows that anytime I play SPIN THE WHEEL, they will lose big time. They manipulated my account to the extent that SPIN THE WHEEL would take forever to load. Once it loads, anything I play would keep losing. Then I devised a strategy, anytime SPIN THE WHEEL takes forever to load, I would wait for them, once it load and says START, I would log out from Bet9ja, log in again immediately and go straight to SPIN THE WHEEL. That was how I recovered my money and dumped the useless company.

As a mathematician, I mastered the way that Bet9ja SPIN THE WHEEL casino works to the extent that I can predict sixteen outcomes successfully without losing. Those idiots would notice my wins, and log me out by force and ask me to log in again. If you log in, you will lose because someone would manipulate the machine against me.[/quote op abeg enligten me more about the spin the wheel]

As for me, i sabi sleep well well,i get different positions of sleep, if you see me where i take dey sleep, to sleep self go hungry you As for me, i sabi sleep well well,i get different positions of sleep, if you see me where i take dey sleep, to sleep self go hungry you. Well aside that my own talent is drumming, i can drum in anywhere, churches, party, live play... I good at drum

You valid Op, me and my guy na to go church go find people yab and use dem laff

Op this kind thing just go where crowd dey, make u drop the nuclear bomb, the rest na story ;DOp this kind thing just go where crowd dey, make u drop the nuclear bomb, the rest na story

Op just name am Bubu ;DOp just name am Bubu

Mine is English Language. What is a noun? A noun is a name of any person, animal, place or things.

08144147792

Omologede(ikorodu) the banana girl. Ebute meta(lagos) three jetty challenge(ibadan) as in challenge at all, at all(oleh delta state) as it name implies ona 77(okitipupa ondo state) 77 road oluku(benin) olu die alapere(ketu lagos) basket owner

Na the lie i hate pass, just tell me straight. I hate it when girls lie to me, it piss me off

Omo loud and weed never high pass 100h, na still 100naira we still dey buy am,if not weytin go happen for the country ehn

[quote author=Ekpekus post=117140468]Rain ball na highest sha... men don really play for this life[/quote op you be man,i sight u]

Omo i still dey play am ooo, where you go like am ma when rain dey fall, everywhere go dey draw, once dem dribble you just dey.i like am sha

Una still dey love, abeg make una show person how una take dey do am, i don commot hand for anything love and relationship.

The one that shocked me,i think that was 10years when i was still a teenage boy, was the day i'm at home sleeping and they told my mum i was among the people that are fighting at the playing ground, omo e be like say i wan defend myself for court because my mum will not believe am actually sleeping because am the rugged and sturbborn boy then.

Rich at an Art gallery
RICH: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
ART DEALER: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!

An old farmer wrote to his son who was in prison "...this year I won't b able to plant potatoes and other things because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would have helped me"

The son wrote back, "Dad, don't even think of digging the field do you want to expose me? That's where I buried the money I stole"

The police read the letter before delivering it to the father, and the next day the whole field was dug by police but nothing was found. The following day the son wrote to his father again, "Now you can plant your potatoes Dad, your farm has been dug for you"

A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports.

Professor: guy, abeg, give me full tank.

Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don't speak pidgin, I only speak English

Professor: Ok! good morning, I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore I cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.

Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan buy?

:03
There three men living together. An Afro-American, a West Indian and a Nigerian. They were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food.
They took a walk and on approaching a restaurant in this classy neighbourhood, they came up with a plan.

The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal, the waiter came by with the bill. LISTEN MAN, I ALREADY PAID YOU! the Afro-American shouted! The waiter was very confused because he could not remember being paid. But because he did not want to cause any trouble, he let him leave.

Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into the same restaurant and ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for the food. HEY, HEY, LOOK AT ME CLOSELY. BUT I PAID YOU ALREADY! the West Indian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the West Indian, because he did not want anything to upset the other customers. He let him go.

Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. He sat down. Lit up a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, plus two bottles of Wine. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal, but before the Nigerian could say anything, the waiter spoke to him. "Sir, I have been having all sorts of problems all day and I cant understand it. Two other people like you came in earlier and ate, and they say that they paid me but I dont remember getting any money from them so - Before he could finish, the Nigerian interrupted, rather emphatically, OGA I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY CHANGE!!!"

Three friends Rich, Rukewe and Oghene decided to go for a picnic. Rukewe packs the picnic basket with drinks and sandwiches. Oghene carried the basket and they set out for the park 10km away.

It takes them 2 hours to get there. When they arrived, Oghene found out that Rukewe did not pack the bottle opener. They begged Rich to make the 4 hour trip to go for the opener. He disagreed. "You'll finish the sandwiches before I return", Rich protested. "No we won't'", assured Rukewe. After some more cajoling from them, Rich reluctantly sets out for the opener. After 5 hours, there was no sign of Rich. They decided to wait for another 3 hours, still no sign of Rich. After waiting for more than 8 hours they were now very hungry so they decided to take one sandwich each.

As they were about to eat, Rich pops out from behind a rock screaming "I KNEW IT! I'M NOT GOING AGAIN!!!