₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I don't follow.

They cannot be completely ignore. We live in the society. So to an extent, their opinions matters.

Kobojunkie:
1. Women have always had choices.

2. The woman whose husband marries another woman without her consent has options. She can chose to remain a third wheel/abandoned wife in the union of she can divorce the man for breaching the marriage agreement.

In the case that the man and woman had been married under the court system(monogamy only allowed), not only can she divorce the man but also charge him for violating the terms of their marriage.

Marriage has never been mandatory.... and for those who venture into it, there are options.

And what about the society

So sad. Just like when I watched Blessing CEO narrating her story today.

Kobojunkie:
You should probably only stick to debating these things within the confines of your belief so you don't sound like a walking contradiction or something.

You had earlier stated that as a woman you would rather not share a man you love with another woman so that led me to believe you didn't agree with the idea of women sharing their men with other women. That got me confused as to why you would then settle for what you don't like.

Most women have a choice to reject polygamy as these rules were put in place by men to satisfy their greed. And the major reason why such things happen to thrive in our society is because women submit to such inane ideas because they have themselves been convinced that it is their lot or their best option. History has however proven time and time again that that isn't the case at all.

Hm... The histories I've read so far, shows that women were left with no option. Moreover, some men wouldn't even inform their wives they will be practicing polygyny. But end up marrying another leaving the wives with no option

BRATISLAVA:
The average Nigerian man doesn't see training his children as his job. But if they turn out well, he will claim them as his.

His job is to cheat, demand respect, act egomaniacal and generally irrational to prove he is indeed a man. His example to his children is negligence, anger, pride and insolence. Afterwards he will say the woman didn't train them right. She did. But what is lacking is any training whatsoever from their fathers. And that is why Nigerian men are largely dysfunctional. They never had a good example.

Infact, my family is living example of this. My brother did something so painful to my mom one day and my mum was calling my dad to at least man handle him coz he doesn't fear my mum anymore and despite the fact that my dad doesn't discipline him , he still dreads my dad ( u know na as per man wey him be). Could u believe that my dad couldn't even utter a single word to scold the boy and my mum started crying that my bro himself should take a look, that if he become someone in future that my dad will be the first to brag but God forbid if the reverse is the case, he will even deny he is his father.

AmazonTopaz:
Exactly and women have just been taught to be discreet about it.

Why do you think that FGM is still practiced because of the false belief that some misguided adults can control a woman's sexual urge.

Lol ... Even females who are genitally mutilated still have urges and find sex pleasurable when they meet a man with good skills.

AmazonTopaz:
When people tell me that there is no inequality, sexism or misogyny in Nigeria I just show them Nairaland.

The average Nairaland male is a representative of the broader Nigerian males and how they reason and that is very shameful

Really shameful

Kobojunkie:
So you are invariably saying as much as you are against polygamy, you will settle for it this because you have chosen to see it as the reality available to you as a woman?

Understand that if women didn't submit to polygamy or settle for it, men wouldn't have any other option, but to stick to having one partner at a time or face repercussions.

It's what my lord has permitted for men 'provided they can be just' who am I to go against my lord? Nothing!

MrBrownJay1:
A) not all men believe that cheating is right (i dont)
B) cheating men are not the problem with Nigerian society and/or NL... and even if it was, they dont cheat with other men, do they?! who are these women that gladly lay with these married/dating men?! are they not part of the problem at hand or should we solely blame men for this issue?
C) as we all know that polygamy is rampant in Nigeria, dont you think that Nigerian society has a part to play in this?
D) when mothers raise their daughter to believe that their MAIN FOCUS IN LIFE is to get married, dont you think that it will created an atmosphere where women will view marriage as a do or die, thus doing insane whatever to bag a man (even sleeping with married/dating men)?!
E) when son see their fathers marrying multiple women and treating them like garbage, do you think that these same sons will grow up to value women (especially when NIGERIAN SOCIETY itself doesnt value women)?!

I wish voice note could be use here.
I'm not saying all men think cheating is right. I'm worried about those who do it and still expect women to put up with their shits like nothing happened as well as bragging it's their right to cheat.

I'm neither encouraging polygamy . I'm a lady my self and wouldn't like to share a man ' I truly love' with any woman. But it's time women especially Nigerian women woke up and accept reality.
You can hardly see a man even the man with the best wife who would stick to a woman especially if he's Muslim. As much as I don't desire polygyny, which I know most women who also love their husbands wouldn't wish for, but do we always get what we want? No!
So, my point is rather than cheating and infecting their wives as well as causing them pain, they should rather follow the legal way if they can be just

Make una allow me rest with my pot belly

MrBrownJay1:
dont be a hypocrite!!!
a society is made of good/bad/yellow and green people...you cnt expect all men to be the same or believe the same thing....thats what makes Nigeria/NL so great....but i suggest you browse more and also focus on the women on NL who believe that a vag1na has a price that men need to pay, thus probably why they are treated like a piece of meat.

you cant blame Nigerian men and not address the elephant in the room....IF NIGERIAN WOMEN VALUED THEMSELVES BETTER, PROBABLY NIGERIAN MEN WOULD TREAT THEM SO POORLY!!!

Oga, maybe I'm the one who fails to see this, but I don't think I'm biased with my post. This is not a post to stop men from marrying as much as they want. No be una money and stress? Wetin be my own? Neither is it a post to justify women's cheating act. My point is men justifying men's cheating and lying on innocent nature to back it up.

chatinent:
When I have the best woman in the world, why do I need a second wife? Na ment?

If u really mean this, I respect you.
Some men, even when they have the woman in the whole universe, them go still go out to bring trouble that will torment their marriage

Lol...

Kobojunkie:
There you go!

Oh... This is when I miss my WhatsApp stickers. They do well at expressing me

I wish they could be used here.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Help us ask her why they train male and female differently. Abeg. Lol. Come. What's the difference between being a woman and a lady? Madam Spinster.

An adult female is a woman. A woman of authority, respect, morals etc... Is a lady. That's the difference.

JONNYSPUTE:
... Exactly. Lol.You women should hold your fellow women who are our mothers accountable. Or don't you think so?

In my write up, I never mentioned just mothers. I stated 'parents' all through. It takes mother and father to be parents, correct?
But because the onus of child training has been left to most mothers in Nigerian homes, why wouldn't u point out mothers?

JONNYSPUTE:
....She and other mothers must have their reasons which we as males are not privileged to know.
As they say,the heart of women is like deep oceans.. But wait.Are you not a woman? You can give us a little clue.

I'm a lady. A spinster at that. So..., I'm in no position to answer that question for now.

RightToReject:
The wrong in your observation is condemnable and has always been unacceptable by every sane person. Unfortunately, you and your likes are not against such wrong because of your love for fairness and justice; instead, it is because you lots are not solely the ones, or do not have upper hands, exhibiting such nuisance. Beremx's first post here and the validation you and your ilks have given to it/will give to it is a clear pointer to this fact - sanctimonious, contemptuous, and hypocritically disingenuous elements.

Lol... Ebo le (English hard).
Honestly, you need not commit these blunders for us to be convinced you're educated. On top wetin? Cheap validation?

NobIeKING:
just went through your profile and could see you're a student who has been bored and depressed due to the ASUU strike.
YOU'RE not worth my time kid.
Bye

Lol... Is that all you could use to console yourself? Me being a student?
Btw, you're also as old as this yet u calling someone else 43? You just contradicting yourself with every comment of yours. I do not need to check your profile. Only the insecure does that. It's not worth my while.

JONNYSPUTE:
....She and other mothers must have their reasons which we as males are not privileged to know.
As they say,the heart of women is like deep oceans.. But wait.Are you not a woman? You can give us a little clue.

I'm a lady. A spinster at that.

yommyoke:
Tho I don't know the exact reason for this outburst, either personal feelings or something else.
Men cheat, women cheat, then we should understand that justifying a wrong action is evil and cruel.
But getting worked up with this issue only causes heartache.
Some ladies are good, some are bad.
Some men are good, some are bad.
Just find your own among them and move.

Ok

JONNYSPUTE:
...Smh. I give up. The reasoning thou.

Yinmu. Me sef no say I be case

JONNYSPUTE:
...Smh.

Lol. Yoruba people will say ' Oro pesije'

NobIeKING:
illiterate you're not even educated sef so why am I arguing with you?
Idiot drop your location if Dem born you well

Lol... I laugh in spanish .
Coz the illiterate one here is you. If I weren't literate, how would I even be able to compose my comments as well as read yours? Well, I guess u just hear people use the word ' illiterate' and u decided to follow suit. By bro, try next time, coz he no work.

Coward asking about my location just to comma show his weak self. If u are sure that u are strong, why not go and meet your fellow man?

JONNYSPUTE:
... You did not answer my question. Are they stating a fact? Yes or no.
Stop being clever by half.

Yes, if being a cheat means being useless.
Unbelievable! Bravo! Nigerian men 'who cheat' must be awarded for being the most useless men in the world.- those who cheat.

JONNYSPUTE:
...So are men also stating a fact anytime some guys here say that all Nigerian girls are useless?. Should I also borrow your words? NO NEED OF DECEIVING OURSELVES HERE.

If Nigerian women or girls are useless for cheating, I wonder what word to use for Nigerian men.

Maybe we need to form a new word to qualify their act of cheating, coz it's top notch and out of this world.

NobIeKING:
she is even 43 years old and her she she should be ashamed for making such a comment at her age

So, being 43 yrs is now a crime? Ok, pray not to reach that age(that's if u haven't).

NobIeKING:
I guess your useless father is included in the 'most'
Foolish fellow

Can u see now? One of those whose parents has failed terribly at training. Bring it on. I dey house. Shey u say them no train u ni? Na outside we go train u.

NobIeKING:
you be idiot.
You this 40 year old bastard.
You no go shut up before I reason your matter?

Hm... You taking it personally shows she's correct. That's what we call guilty conscience. Even the real topic u haven't stated anything but went to attack her.
It shows she wasn't wrong after all.

JONNYSPUTE:
...You call men here bunch of idiots that lacks home training and you feel you are better?
Why can't you make your submissions without insults?
Smh.

But come to think of it, she only stated the fact. Not all though.... But most are. No need of deceiving ourselves here.

As for those who always claim that men has higher libido. Well, sorry to burst ur bubble. You're ignorant, coz women's libido is higher. They only tame it to make them not appear loose due to the society we found ourselves.


Men just give lots of silly excuses to cheat.

Karleb:
I'm happy you feel like this.

This is exactly the way I felt when DNA test was trending in Nigeria.

Almost all the women online were against DNA test even though 30% of the Nigerian men who went to paternity testing centers (paternity testing laboratories) were not the biological fathers of the children in their custody.


It's the same energy sis!

Mitchewww... Of course u would be. I'm not here to defend or justify women's cheating either. Cheating isn't gender based, and for one gender to confidently come out and be justifying what was forbidden by even our creator just because they happen to posses d**k, is despicable.
Women cheat too. No one justifies that. Rather they will tag her with all sorts of demeaning names. But when it comes to the hypocritic gender, they claim they have the right. If you wanna marry more than one, do that legally, let your previous wife or wives be aware. Not going about sleeping with any thing with hole and still claiming rights that even nature does not support.

Also�, if your partner is cheating as a man and u know u cannot tolerate, nothing is stopping u from divorcing her. Marriage isn't a do or die thing.