₦airaland Forum

grandtosh:
There is some sense in what you say but what about you with lots of female friends? Isn’t it hypocritical ?

Lol, but my male friends are way more.
If I have one female friend, I'll have like 5 male friends. But in this case, she doesn't even have up to 2 female friends she can count but more of male friends...
So you see?

integrity16:
OGA leave story, go for girls with few male friends. The reason why she came unto you was probably because she rolls very well with guys than her fellow girls and not because you are handsome.

I have many female friends like that. Some girls love to associate with guys than girls because their fellow girls had betrayed them in the past. Get to know her first and then draw your conclusions from your interaction with her.

This is not the first time Bro, thing is they always want something serious with me.
I've had several cases like this, One case scenario won't make me come up with this post.

ElBenny:
A female friend of mine said she was feeling sad and wanted to see me. She came around and narrated the quarrel she had with her boyfriend of 6 years.
To cut the long story cut, she give me chop before she go that night 😂

One came to my house to visit, right in my parlour and before my presence, she had a video call with the love of her life.
To cut the long story cut, she give me chop before she go that evening. 😂

Bruh, I've had my share of these things you just stated.

HussenAdul:
You re one of those male she is close with

Never, I just met and her and I'm suspecting she wants something serious with me.

LagBlogger:
Don't say what you don't know cause alot of girls have made advances at me and I am an introvert. I don't even know how to toast a lady but I always have them show interest in me.

Exactly my point.
That guy doesn't know what he's saying

jaxxy:
Generally a girl with too many male friends is a red flag bt there is a twist.

there are girls with many male friends bt she openly friendly, free and Platonic with them. This is not a red flag for me. I like people who appreciate good company bt keep their manners and boundaries.

However there are girls who have many male friends and are also lose and have no boundaries with them publicly or privately. These are obviously red flags

Bt there is the homely coded chick who has no male friends or it seems she doesn't bt she has many male clients and acquaintances. shes very secretive. This type will sell u in the market and u won't know u have been sold like ordinary fish.

and there is the true introvert who don't have many males friends and don't need many friends either. They are the joys of the traditional insecure man and the philanderous ones scared of nemesis.

You see the bolded?
These are the ones I'm talking about and met with.

Kukutenla:
If you're not just referring to sluts but normal girls, then you're missing a lot. Those kind of girls actually understand men and make good wives. Another advantage is that most female friendships are fake and they backbite, slander and give themselves wrong advice out of jealousy. Also, they subconsciously compete among themselves which ultimately affects their spouse or boyfriend's pockets. All these vices are missing in ladies who have less female friends because naturally there's no reason to compete with their male friends.

I think I was expecting this comment and thankfully it came.
I'm not seeing girls that have male friends as sluts, NO. Things is many of them I've encountered, their vibe is unmatched compared to other female counterparts. They seem to extremely interesting but the fact that they have several male friends and very few or no close female friend is worrisome and distributing to me.

Teeroyzimma:
80% lol you're funny

Like bro? 😂
I think that guy must have met a lot of terrible girls.

Gerrard59:
Bro believes love exists.

Hypergamy never do you something. Hypergamy will teach you a lesson you will never forget. You are 21 years, which implies the girls on your radar are 18-21/22. You are competing with men in their late 20s and early 30s, plus sugar bros in their mid-30s and sugar daddies in their 40s and 50s. Better take the advice you quoted o. But if you refuse, we are here to always remind you.

Just know that hypergamy is not your mate and will teach you a lesson.

I'm always open to learning so as not make avoidable mistakes in my small life...
Thing is I'm very cautious of girls I find myself with, and not the lover boy type that is always quick to impress. So it'll take a very unusual case for me not to "lose guard".
Secondly I believe love exists but I've been made to know a man is loved "Conditionally" so there's still love there nah.
Not that it doesn't exist pls.

eddynaira125:
I don't know you, but from your write up you are very mature, intelligent and responsible to the core, I expect great stories from you someday, and I pray you find your self in a position were lives will be affected positively

Thanks so much Boss🙏🏽

Jakumo:
It is only men that are instantly attracted to beautiful women. Most women are initially attracted NOT to a man's physical appearance, but to the way in which he speaks to the women, and jokes with them in those first few critical moments when they first meet. I therefore sincerely doubt the OP's story that women approach him primarily due to his perceived good looks, REGARDLESS of how well-built or handsome he may in fact be.

With all due respect, I must therefore reach for my bullshit whistle once again to alert the viewing public that someone is telling a tall story here that does not match up with the known psychology of female attractiveness to men.

You may be right about them not entirely attracted to the looks but that's where I get the most compliment from.

buygala:
Lies..


If you were, you won't be so attention-starved that dating a girl with male friends will bother you so much

What do you mean by lies? 😂
Are you really arguing with me over my personal life? Abi you want to have a view of what my Dm's look like? It's not something to brag about though just so you know pls.

buygala:
No you are not "very good looking".... Move away from that self deceptive premise, and you might find a solution to your insecurities.

If you are attractive like me, it's even the girls who will be feeling insecure around you because of the large number of female friends you have around you

I've been dealing with insecurities from girls in my past relationships.
Not a new thing Sir, rest🙏🏽.

SenecaTheYonger:
Yes fear them. There’s always guys asking them to visit. In fact, that’s all the guys in her DM do.

She will reject them, normal. But once two of you have small fight and don’t talk for a while, one or two of her “friends” don chuk prick

She told me of one occurrence that happened with her Ex, she suspected the guy was cheating cos she was to go to this place and he didn't want her to come that day.
Said she went to one of her friend's place (a guy) to spend that night, also added that nothing happened between them which I really doubt....lol

Successdude:
While women's interest arose when you got other girls in your life, males interest go low when you got other guys around as a girl.

It's natural. (But some girls are ignorant to think it'll bring more interest from guys, hence they do it.).

But then, be rest assured, giving that girls approach you and not you approaching them, one disadvantage is that you'd meet girls that are already friends with other guys. Those are the type that can approach a guy.

Oh I understand now.
This is weird but true, any girl I approach myself don't really have guys around them as much as the ones that approach me. Cos truly, I'll be thinking (Why did this fine girl approach me, what are my doing different from multitude of guys that must have approached her) and tbh all the one I've met are great and smart with fine build but I would never want a relationship with them...lol

MechanicMike:

So u sayin u get haapiar when men surround u... corrrrrrrect? Nigggggga how long hav u been gay & why are u gay sir??...u hav juss embarass Nigeria!!((no offenscce))

What are you saying boss?

Cooolme:
Omo I feel same too.
No be only you my guy

Seriously man, this last one pain me.
This particular girl is very cool to be with but the more we talk, I just feel bad cos all her talks indicate she has lots of male friends.

yrhuhfy113:
Why not focus on your struggling family and forget about ladies till you have enough understanding of how to handle a woman in marriage.

Why not grow
psychologically
spiritually
financially
socially

without DISTRACTION of ladies.

Bruh, I normally don't do this but I've been avoiding girls almost all my life because of my self development which have seen massive improvement. I'll be 21 by the end of this year with no form of love or whatever.... people be thinking the boy is gay "cos he's fine and they've not seen him with a female", why do you think I shouldn't also face this aspect of my life?
So I'll just meet somebody and marry no dating or friendship, I know what I want please and my family issue shouldn't be your problem. Thanks

I've noticed the way I lose interest in girls that have lots of male friends, like it's a red flag for me.
I don't know if it's insecurity or whatever but I'm very good looking, in fact I don't even approach girls, they approach me. I've also met a lot of great girls but once I notice they have a lot male friends or they Relate so much with guys I just lose interest.
Is this normal or it's just me?

Dorzinetech:
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since13o:
They will not change until you bone them and face your own life.

Really?

frozen70:
I think you will have to visit them,, if possible and seat them all together and talk sense to them

If you don't put things straight, they will delay you yet they won't move

Meanwhile plan well for yourself as you are the pillar they have now and if you don't stand well

The whole structure will fall yet non of them will raise you up because they don't see raising you up as their priority

Talk with your mum on phone and ask her what she wants to do to support the family, discuss this with her and tell her you want the answer on a week's time

These are all part of the reasons you will be traveling to visit them

From the complain that you have made about them, if you don't have a strong ground on them, they will blame your wife for any issues they will have with you

I think the best time to have go see them was this festive season but I didn't travel because I had really important things to round up.
The next time I'll travel to them is after my grad, which is like in 3 months time.
I'll just probably be speaking with my mom about this, let me hear from her.

I'm the first son of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls), we have just our mum due to my dad passed earlier last year.
I'll be 21 by July but I've been shouldering my family for the past 1 year now. Honestly it's exhausting even as the money is there. Last year, my mum lost her job and thank God for the strike I focused on my job and was sending them enough money and also made sure they all lacked nothing.
My siblings way of reasoning is killing me honestly, not that they're feeling entitled to my funds just that they appreciate nothing, they behave childish and also waste a lot, seems they're really far from the reality facing us. Although my elder sis works but I still foot some of her bills, my immediate younger sis is in school and I partly sponsor her too, my lil bro doesn't just want to do anything reasonable even school, he's way brilliant and smarter than me but at 16 he just spends most of his time playing games and streaming it on his YouTube, he doesn't really ask for things maybe he's making some change there but I want him to get education with skills, at that age I've gotten admission developing my first website, the last child is super brilliant but very disrespectful, I just changed her school and I have big plans for her upon finishing secondary school.
Thing is I love my siblings so much and want them to be coordinated and successful, my mum is even tired, it's showing on her and the way she addresses certain issues in the house. When my dad was alive he provided for us very well even in sickness, although he didn't really like me because I'm too quiet, always in my space and hardly speak out but sometimes I pray he appears to me somehow so we'll discuss on these things, don't want to bother my Mother at all about these things and sadly I don't have anyone else to discuss with.
I'm away from them now in school facing my own issues with this final year stress but the thought of how my siblings can be successful is really bothering me.
I just want them to take charge, get serious and choose their part, I have always supported them and I'm willing to anytime...
How do I communicate this thing to them in a way they'll understand?