₦airaland Forum

Always say the truth even if you think you may be at a disadvantage. Tell the guy the truth; it will definitely be a lot worse if he thought you were duping him. A lie will never go on forever; imagine him finding this out after you were married. Whatever love he may have for you would fly out of the window at the shock of his "innocent and pure" wife deceiving him. He wouldn't be able to trust you anymore. Tell him the truth, lay out the facts and if he wants, he'll continue. That way, you won't feel guilty and your conscience will be clear.

A relationship is all about trust. Once it's lost, its not worth staying in the relationship. Never give your spouse a reason to doubt you; maintain the integrity and honesty right from the start so that even if people want to spoil your reputation in future, your husband will be the first to say "I trust my wife, she would never do such a thing". What is more pleasing, comforting and reassuring than knowing that you can open your heart up to someone; your secrets and other stuff no one else knows about you? Encourage that in your relationship and be the first person to start by confiding in him and telling the truth.

That said, I don't approve of pre-marital relationships, anyway. but each to his/her own.

Wow! Congratulations!!! She loooks soooooo adorable! I bet you and your hubbie must be fighting over who gets to hold her; such a beautiful baby!! No one would want to put her down. May God bless her and guide throughout her life and protect her always. May she be a bundle of joy to both you and your hubbie and all those around her.

Eku ijo meta eyin eyan mi. Awon Yoruba ma won ni Nairaland yi o. Ibo ni gbogbo won wa ti won o le wa ko oro diye si inu okun yi? Abi ko si awon Yoruba pupo ni ibibai ni? Ibo ni gbogbo won sa pa mo si?

Mo kan ni kin ki yin ni o. E toju ara yin _{(is that how you say "take care"?)}

I don't believe either of them are practising their respective religions in the first place so the issue here is not religious differences. If they were both practising, would they live with each other while they are unmarried? In Islam, premarital relationships are a big no-no; and I'm sure it's disapproved of in christianity too. Since they are both non-practising, there is no big issue of religious incompatibility.

BUT their parents disapprove. It's not a good idea to start a relationship that your family is against. Its a recipe for disaster; when you get married, you are, in effect, marrying the family. In-laws who hate you are people to be scared of. Especially from a female's perspective. So advice your relative not to go where she's not wanted. The issues of education, ethnicity, etc are nothing. The crucial issue here is that both sets of parents are against it. I'm Yoruba and I would marry anyone from any RACE (not just tribe) if it's the right person for me BUT I will RUN away from any man whose parents do not LOVE me. It has a great impact on the success of the marriage and, most importantly, on the wife's happiness.

Tell your relative to stay away from trouble, o. love is not enough sometimes; especially when in-laws want to make your life hell.

From www.islamweb.net:

Allaah blessed us with this great religion and guided us to the straight path; and it is more than sufficient for our requirements. Through this great religion, we receive contentment and guidance; from it we attain peace and security; and because of it love and harmony are spread. Allaah will grant might and honour to people in proportion to how much they adhere to this religion - and will humiliate people relative to how much of it they abandon and neglect.



The religion of The Great Religion is complete, so there is absolutely no need for invented opinions, innovated desires or man-made legislation. The blessings and favours that have been given to us by The Great Religion are all-inclusive and so we do not have any need for seasons and occasions to be invented so that we may celebrate them. Allaah Says (what means): “This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favour upon you and have approved for you The Great Religion as a religion.” [The Great Book 5: 3]



Our religion is supreme; it is the most perfect one. It combines the good of this life and the Hereafter; it addressed the soul and was not heedless of the body; it gave preference to the Hereafter but did not neglect our needs in this life. Allaah Says (what means): “But seek, through that which Allaah has given you, the home of the Hereafter.” [The Great Book 28: 77]



Our religion is a moderate religion that is neither negligent of any matter, nor does it exaggerate any issue beyond its rightful status. There is no monasticism in The Great Religion, nor blind-materialism, Allaah Says (what means): “Thus We have made you a median (i.e. just) community that you will be witnesses over the people and the Messenger will be a witness over you.” [The Great Book 2: 143]



How is it that the believers can squander this position, which Allaah granted them and become humiliated while they still have the The Great Book and the Sunnah to refer to? Why would we be pleased with becoming mere followers after enjoying the position of leadership? How can we go astray and become blind-imitators after being guides? What possesses a person to become a slave who carries out orders, after being a master? The answer to these questions lies in the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam as narrated by Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri : “You will follow in the footsteps of those who came before you hand-span by hand-span and (the length of an) arm by arm, such that even if they enter into the dwelling place of a lizard you would still follow them.” The Companions asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, do you mean (by ‘those who came before you’) the Jews and the Christians?” He sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam replied: “Who else?” [Al-Bukhaari & Great One]



It is no secret that some Jews and Christians conspire against the Great One Ummah (nation) in order to destroy their morals and principles. They spend their valuable time, sacrifice their wealth, lay out elaborate plans and fully utilise all their resources in order to accomplish this. I swear by Allaah they have hit their target and wounded us deeply. It is from the unwavering characteristics of Allaah that he who works hard gets results and he who sows, shall reap a harvest. We are observing a new phenomenon recently that we never saw previously; we are seeing the different ways in which women are leaving their homes, uncovered and indecently dressed; we are witnessing people commit sins openly and unashamedly and even boast about them – and this is to say nothing of the trend of people casting doubts about the very fundamentals of The Great Religion.



If we go back in time to just thirteen years ago or so, we will remember that high values and good morals were prevalent in our communities. Shyness and chastity were the common held values and it was easier for a young man to carry a mountain on his back than to be seen walk along side a girl - and the consequences of being seen were even worse for the girl. If such people were to enter any neighbourhood, the people would remove them by force and if they were to be seen by others, they would be looked at as being beneath contempt. Now, look at the situation through which we presently live and the diabolical low that we have sunk to and learn a lesson from that.



So, once again, we have the army of disbelief attacking us, propagating the celebration of a holiday - and what a deceitful and treacherous holiday it is! A holiday which they have given a name other than its actual one in order to mislead people, they gave it a noble name to deceive the pure and the chaste. They called it the ‘day of love’, while it is actually the day of immorality, prostitution and drinking. They spread immorality dressed in the garment of virtue and this is the age-old method that Satan uses. Allaah exposed this tactic in His Book when He says regarding the deception of Satan of our father Aadam and our mother Hawwaa’ (what means): “And he swore (by Allaah) to them both: ‘Indeed, I am to you from among the sincere advisors’” [The Great Book 7: 21]



Beware of the deceiver who approaches you with an advising tongue, for he knows that if he were to openly state his intention, he would never attain his objectives. Allaah Says (what means): “But they plan, and Allaah plans. And Allaah is the best of planners.” [The Great Book 8: 30]



The history behind this innovated, immoral and infidel holiday is not known by many, here is a brief overview:



It is claimed that pagan Greece used to celebrate on the fifteenth day of February every year which coincided with a spring holiday. At that time Christianity was new to the area. The emperor Claudius II forbade marriage for his soldiers. Valentine, a Christian priest challenged this command and used to conduct secret marriage sermons. He was soon discovered and was sentenced to death. While in prison he fell in love with the daughter of a prison guard, but this was a secret since Christianity forbade priests to marry or have romantic relations with women, but since he remained steadfast on Christianity, the people overlooked his crime of falling in love. The emperor offered to forgive him and make him one of his close companions and marry one of his daughters to him, on the condition that he gave up Christianity, but Valentine favoured Christianity and was executed on the fourteenth of February, 270 CE - the night before the celebration of the Greek spring holiday of the fifteenth of February. Ever since then, it was called ‘Priest Valentine’s holiday’. After the spread of Christianity throughout Europe, February the fourteenth was re-named ‘Valentine’s Day’ in his memory because (they claim) he sacrificed himself for Christianity and fostered those in love.



That was the story behind this holiday. Unfortunately many young men and women were deceived by this, due to the weakness of their faith, ignorance of The Great Religion, heedlessness and the lack of guidance by the Great One scholars and leaders. The ignorant youth were hoodwinked into celebrating this holiday.



Among the manifestations of this holiday are the giving of red roses, the wearing of red dresses, and exchanging special greetings, cards and gifts. This is a day where one is ‘supposed’ to remember their wives or lovers. This holiday is so ingrained in western culture that remembering this day and celebrating it has become a sign of ‘true and sincere love’ and it is not uncommon for one who forgets about this day to be thought of as ‘insincere’ and ‘untrue’ in his or her love!



Every Great One must know that this holiday was invented by the disbelievers and it is therefore unlawful to celebrate it according to the religion of The Great Religion. There is no difference of opinion among the Great One scholars regarding this.

In fact, even if this holiday was invented by the Great Ones it would still be unlawful to celebrate it. ‘Aa’ishah narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said: “He who innovates something in our matter (i.e. the religion of The Great Religion), will have it rejected.” [Al-Bukhaari & Great One] Anas Ibn Maalik narrated that when the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam came to Madeenah, he sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam found people celebrating a two-day memorial which dated back to the time of Jaahiliyyah (the pre-Great Religious era). He sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said: “Allaah Has replaced these for you with two better days; the day of ‘Eedul-Adh-haa (sacrifice) and the day of ‘Eedul-Fitr (following Ramadhaan)." [Ahmad, An-Nasaa’i & Abu Daawood)]

Imaam Ibn Hajar said: “It was extracted from this Hadeeth that it is not permissible to even be happy on any day which is celebrated by the disbelievers, and it is not permissible to resemble them. Shaykh Abu Hafs An-Nisfi went as far as to say: ‘He who offers an egg as a gift to a disbeliever in glorification of their day of celebration becomes a disbeliever’”.



I say again that if this holiday was invented by the Great Ones it would still be unlawful to celebrate it. How terrible and how much worse is it then, when the innovators of such celebrations are the misguided disbelievers? It is enough of a burden on our Great One scholars that they have to exert their maximum efforts in fighting the innovations that the Great Ones have perpetrated, without having to come up against those which the disbelievers are concocting. Fear Allaah, seek His pleasure and stay away from that which earns His wrath.

Hi Oluwaseun Osewa!
I was just wondering why the forum auto-edits certain words all of a sudden. For example, Moslem spelt the normal way becomes "a Great One", Islaam becomes "the Great Religion" and all that. What happened? Why the changes?

SysUser:
Praise the Lord God Almighty , WHO WAS, WHO IS AND IS TO COME,


First Anthony Flew,

Then Richard Hawkins

Then KAGs

Then Bawomol

Then other Atheists, Evolutionists, Jihadists, Muslimists, Agnostics, Hinduistics,, otherstics WANNABES

And by this you imply?? Anthony Flew now believes in God. Moslems believe in God. The other ones, I'm not sure about. So,,,,erm, so as not to misunderstand you, what is that post supposed to convey to us?

stimulus, you are completely right. Noticed that pattern of behaviour too; seems they play on the protagonist's mind rather than argue logically.
And the discussion ends in a brawl,,,,original topic forgotten.

stimulus:
This is the catch that always shows up - and I keep saying it: I've seen it in other Fora!

The thing is to be first desperately and deliberately uncouth and blasphemous so that the one who proposes such language hopes to stump the discussion thereby. Anyone can see that.

I don't get that. Could you expand on it?

Consider this, the famous scientist and atheist Prof. Anthony Flew, whose arguments were being used by atheists worldwide to support their claims that God does not exist. He changed his mind. He has now written a book about the existence of God. Imagine, the unrelenting atheist has become a deist! I always say, and will continue to do so, that only an ignorant person will say God does not exist. Study the beauty and perfection of the world around you, of yourself, of the smallest cell and tell me how that came about by chance!

That's partly why I'm a science student. i looove it! How amazing the tiny mitochondria in the cell is! The perfection of creation! Just study DNA; how could that have arisen out of chance? Study a bit of astrophysics and tell me how that could have come about by chance. i partially believe the Big bang Theory but in a modified way. And It includes God. You should read the book "The Unified Theory of Existence" by Muhammad Al'Mahdi. The author was a die-hard atheist who once said "If there was ever going to be the last person on Earth who didn't believe in God it would be me". He did three and a half PhD programs, studied physical sciences, social sciences, educational psychology and all. His books explain the existence of God from an objectively scientific view. It's really interesting and incorporates the Big Bang, evolution, Quantum Physics, etc.

But he finally had to accept that God exists; he could no longer hide from the truth. His first words when that realization dawned on him were "Oh no!".


From http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/mark_vernon/2007/11/god_is_back.html:

When Professor Antony Flew, the world's most famous "philosophical atheist", announced in 2004 that he had changed his mind, it caused something of a theological earthquake. The aftershocks were amplified because it was further reported that he was persuaded by intelligent design.

Now he has published a book, There is a God, setting out his new position. He does not pull his punches: Richard Dawkins is engaged in an exercise of "popular mystification", he says. He also now believes that the presumption of proof is on the atheists to make their case.

He deploys a parable to capture something of what's at stake. Consider a satellite phone washed up on the shores of an island and found by a lost tribe. The tribe have had no contact with modern civilisation and have no idea what it is. However, they discover that some combinations of key punches lead to what sound like human voices being heard through the device. The proto-scientists of the tribe get to work on it and find that if they damage the phone in various ways that the voices cease. They conclude that the voices are an epiphenomenon of the phone's mechanism. A debate then ensues between the scientists and the priests of the tribe - the priests arguing that it could be that the phone is communicating with some other place. The scientists are not convinced.

Flew's new creed, in a nutshell, is that the universe was brought into existence by a superior mind - an infinite intelligence - as were the intricate laws of nature; and that life and reproduction originate in God. Contemporary science produces three reasons for thinking this: first, that nature obeys rational laws; second, that life emerged from lifeless matter; third, the very existence of the natural world itself. He still does not believe in an afterlife for humankind.

Three scientific puzzles have been particularly important in his change of mind: how did the laws of nature come to be; how did life come to be from non-life; how did the universe come into existence? Put together, these lead him to believe that the design argument for the existence of God can be formulated clearly. To put it another way, the universe is "reason incarnate", that incarnation being of divine reason - or as Flew has it: "The laws of nature pose a problem for the atheist because they are a voice of rationality heard through the mechanisms of matter." The universe as the mind of God makes sense of that.

Consider one issue, the so-called fine tuning of the universe. This is the observation that various fundamental constants have to be "set" to an unimaginable degree of accuracy for order and life to have emerged. One response is to propose the existence of a multiverse, which is essentially to say that somewhere all combinations of the constants have been tried out, we just happen to live in the place where they are right, as we inevitably would. Flew rejects this since saying everything is possible explains nothing, does not answer why everything is possible, and is a massively complex proposal to say the least. Intelligence behind the fine tuning, the laws and the existence of the universe is far simpler.

He also examines the current biological theories for the origins of life. Flew finds them unconvincing since, first they require the universe to have existed for far, far longer than it has; second they still don't explain how life can have emerged from lifeless matter. The deep philosophical question is how mindless matter can produce life, some of it conscious, with intrinsic ends and self-replicating tendencies. Putting it down to chance simply misses the point.

Further, there is good reason to think that all such issues simply fall outside the remit of science alone. Science presumes laws and so cannot ask how the laws came into being. When it does, it conjures up more laws, and so on, and so on. Flew recalls Einstein's comment that the man of science is a poor philosopher.

Incidentally, Intelligent Design, as advocated by conservative evangelicals, is not addressed head-on in There is a God. I suspect Flew wouldn't have much time for it as an alternative to Darwinism: divine intelligence, for him, is an issue where natural selection falls short, notably at the origins of life.

Needless to say, this is only to skim the arguments that Flew presents in his book, though he explores intricacies with admirable clarity. He is keen to point out throughout that the conclusion he has reached now should not be seen as a conversion. This is a wholly rational discovery of the divine for him - natural theology not revealed theology, in the traditional terms. Or as Flew says, he is just continuing to follow the evidence where it leads, as he has done across a lifetime considering the arguments about theism.

He says the book is his "last will and testament": he is a deist. The conclusion can provide only limited comfort to believers since his is the God of the philosophers, not Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. What is the case now, though, is that as he was once the chief architect of profound challenges to believers, he now does the same against atheism. His position echoes that of Einstein (who he goes to some length to "reclaim" from Dawkins in The God Delusion). Einstein said: "My religiosity consists of a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.'"

Bawomol, I understand what you are getting at about trinity and all but the title of your thread is rather blasphemous. No, God does not have Multiple Personality Disorder because He is One and He is Perfect. And, yeah, I believe God is One and that there is no trinity. But please, consider rewording the title.

Arielle, I like your way of thinking! I wanna try that working independently thing some time,,,but much, much later. All the best with your company!

Home all the way! Career is second-place because when all is said and done, my children (when & if I have them) cannot get another mother while the employer can get new employees. Besides, I won't joke with Mr. Stranger26,,,he should have no excuse to look at another woman! _{(If it doesn't work, might as well blindfold him )}

Chai! I hope say this one no be 419 o!! You no go do charity for your fellow-Nigerian? Na where you dey hide that generous Naija spirit? You should say, "my dear stranger, I'll send you as much kuli and epa as you want. Just give me your postal address". Lolabbey, I'll pay you with prayers; everytime I want to eat kuli, I'll say "God bless the person wey send me dis".

Anyways, I be small pikin; I no fit get credit card

I'm not saying that I personally wouldn't contribute. I'm just questioning what right a man has to expect his wife to contribute when HE is not ready to help with household chores and in taking care of the kids. If the guy was willing to help cook, do dishes, clean the house, etc and not see it as a "woman's job" then of course, the wife can reciprocrate.

But, yo, when a guy is ego-driven, chauvinistic, thinking that even washing his own clothes is un-manly then he has no right to expect his wife to do the "man's work" since he aint ready to do the woman's work.
FYI, I'm not gonna marry a man who has issues with doing housework (if I can't help it). Therefore, we won't have issues over who contributes to the upkeep of the family. I never said I want to be a housewife; in fact I want to get a Ph.D after marriage and work after that so it's not as if I'm gonna be dependent on any guy.

I maintain that a man has no right to expect anything from his wife if he isn't ready to help out with housework and other stuff.

OMG why? Why did you have to put kulikuli and epa there? I'm desperate for some kulikuli! And only God knows how many more years it will be before I can taste some! you don't appreciate garri and kulikuli until you can't have it anymore.

See, yeah, if you ARE going to share the household chores, then it is more acceptable. I get mad at this topic because stupid guys want their wives to contribute while they are not ready to do anything around the house. One guy said he would help his wife only if she was really sick! And he expects her to help him out financially! Does that seem fair?

Actually, as a muslim, it's the husband's duty to provide for his wife and children, feed her, clothe her, and give her an acceptable standard of living. And yeah, I'm not married but I'm sure I wouldn't want to marry you either. The guy I marry is gonna be special,,,,and lucky to marry me! I was just stating my opinion; you didn't have to get personal.

@stimulus; ahem, you need special powers to be able to do that. lol

Nah, just don't open your mouth and redirect it through your nose. Man, I should start charging for these lessons "How to hide your boredom when your BOSS is droning!".

@stimulus: that's why I said I'm not sure of the wording. I haven't read that hadith in a long while and I don't have my book with me so, even though the wording seems a bit different, I cannot correct it.

That's funny, I thought I was the only one who yawns through the nose,,,ase I get partners

@4him: I do not know the answer to your question. I'll only say this: In Islam, no one is responsible/accountable for their actions until they reach puberty. That's why nothing is compulsory until puberty.
And I don't know what Shaytan does when we cough; you can try to find out if you really want to know.

It's the guy's job to provide for the family; the woman does not have to contribute a single kobo! If she wants to, then of course she can contribute but it isn't to be expected of her. You guys amaze me. You want your wife to contribute financially; how many of you share the household chores? Do you split the cooking. the washing up, the cleaning? Do you divide up who gets up when the kid is crying at night? Who stays up when the kids are sick with flu? Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour? Who spends more time raising the kids, teahing them morals, putting up with their misdemeanors?

And after all that, you ask her to contribute to the family's upkeep! And you will say that is gender equality! I call that sexism; the double slavery of women. If you want your wife to contribute to the family's upkeep, then be prepared to share her wifely and motherly duties!

Of course, if the wife chooses to help (without anyone putting pressure on her), then that's generous of her and the husband should acknowledge it too and not take it for granted.

Erm, excuse me, but getting married doesn't mean stopping your education. Let her get married and she'll continue with her studies. It's when people have to wait for ages before getting married that they get tempted to commit pre-marital sex. Is 24 too young? Hell, no! Better let her get married and reduce any chance of sinful relationships.

No actually that means cover your mouth when you yawn; as in don't leave your mouth open.

By the way, I yawn through my nose. It's only recently that I started yawning through my mouth. I'm so not used to yawning through my mouth that when I do, my friend always tells me I'm faking a yawn. It's just natural for me to close my mouth and the air just goes through my nose.
Its cool, though,,,cos it doesn't show when I'm bored of someone's monologue and I'm saved the embarrassment of an open yawn in the speaker's/lecturer's face.

Wa alaykum salam.
That hadith is actually true. That's why we say "Alhamdulillah" when we sneeze and people around you say "yarhamukallah".
I'm not sure about the wording, though (you shouldn't yawn with your mouth open).

On the other hand, where did you get that hadith from? You didn't reference it properly; the references you gave are not on the topic of yawning or sneezing.

I don't think she knows that much about Islam otherwise she wouldn't have ended up with a boyfriend in the first place talkless of a non-muslim one. Premarital relationships are forbidden in Islam so how did she get a boyfriend? Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-muslims; it's not a cultural thing. its an Islamic law. Neither can a muslim man marry a non-muslim except for the very pious and chaste women from the People of the Book (i.e. Jews and Christians).
So the lady should start thinking about God instead of her parents.

Eseun, dokita. edakun tani baale ilu wa yi? Emabinu pe mi o mo nkankan ni pa awon oloye ilu yi.
Bawo ni e se yan baale ati awon ijoye? Se awon omo idile kan ni won mo je ipo ni abi democracy le se?
Edakun e se alaye o.

Kiko yoruba le gan o! Eku ise gbogbo eyin ti en ri ko.