₦airaland Forum

Dshocker:
Humiliation to Tinubu is a humiliation to the yoruba people... Is he tryna say that the yoruba people see's Tinuba as a semi god or something.

Jamean:
Lol!
What shall we not read on nairaland.

So, the primary purpose of a lady you claim to be in a love relationship with visiting you is to cook for you, wash your clothes and tidy your apartment you scattered yourself. I thought those meetings was basically to spend quality time with your partner but obviously you expect her to be a domestic servant. People just choose the wrong relationship battle these days.

What happened to you doing your cleaning yourself? You're not married to her so she's under no obligation, it should be at her discretion. Btw, not doing those things doesn't mean she can't do them, my sister before she got married didn't use to lift a finger in the house because she had us younger ones, but now her house is impeccable, there's always food. Even myself now, I don't lift a finger at home, I'm even served food. I've done all the growing up chores at some point and cooking that I don't need to prove myself to anyone now.

You see, a lot of ladies are now aware these days that CCW doesn't in anyway guarantee the ring, it may just be an invitation to a treat for the man so why bother. Although, she can just do some arrangements touches cause for me I won't sit in a mad house.

If she's your wife and fails to do those things then you have a case, otherwise discharged and acquainted. OP stop complaining (it is you, not a friend) clean your house and prepare food so you both can have a wonderful date.

Ask4Info:
WE NOW LIVE IN A CRAZY WORLD WHERE INSTEAD OF LADIES TAKING LAST MINUTE TUTORIALS FROM THEIR MUMS AND AUNTIES TO LEARN HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE AND RUN A GOOD HOME AS WELL AS PERFECT HER CULLINERY SKILLS, WILL BE JUMPING FROM ONE PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO TO THE OTHER IN THE NAME OF PREWEDDING PICTURES.

THE GUYS RATHER THAN TALK TO THEIR UNCLES AND SUCCESSFUL MEN ON WAYS TO GENERATE MORE INCOME TO LIVE UP TO HIS DUTIES WILL BE RUNNING IN AND OUT OF BROTHELS AND CLUBS TO GET AS MANY GIRLS LAID AS POSSIBLE BEFORE HE GETS MARRIED.


....AND WE WONDER WHY THERE ARE MORE DIVORCE CASES NOW THAN ANY OTHER GENERATION.


WE NOW RUN A LIFE FULL OF MISPLACED PRIORITIES

rowanMama:
Good.
Follow your dreams/passion and success will chase you pants down.

paranorman:
After reading your piece, I just smiled. Not for pleasure though, but for a rather disconcerting course which education (in Nigeria) has treaded through, still treading through and may likely still going to thread through; and result of the conpiscuous failure, better still - failures, of the failure called our political system...

Our leaders is our curse.
I just pity the short-sightedness of the 'fans' of APC and PDP! The annoying and worrying thing is that the children of these supporters' 'saviour' school abroad, get exposure, get better opportunities, better access to wealth, power, et al. Children of the poor 'supporters' get illluck-struck, and so the cycle of 'dumminism' keeps going round it's circle, around it's axis of mental slavery.

Well, as for me, I am thinking hard; praying hard and working so I can give my kids the best, and any other person(s) whose life(lives) I can impact positively. God, this is what I want. So, give it to me!

Op, you write well. You really do, i envy your skills.

boneruns:
I don't think this man understands the hardship the ordinary man on the street is facing. He has watched too much of cartoons.

dfrost:
God bless you brother. My exact thoughts. Start small and work your way up the ladder.

I've never seen any small and humble beginning that goes down easily. I'm not saying that those that get a fat salary won't go far either.

All I'm saying is starting small teaches one to become more prudent and a good manager of his finances.

If you get the big bucks rolling in, good for you.

I'll always be on the side that if your aim is to get married and you have the means, start early. I'm pushing my younger brother to get married next year. I don't mind supporting him. He's earning a little but with the pillars of the family by his side, he will surely thrive.

Part of the problem we have in the Nigerian ecosystem is we all believe "my money is my money". We always forget that our families prayed for us too. Our younger ones or older ones supported us one way or the other. Let's cast our minds back. I can't say much.

The movie Godfather 1, 2, 3 really shaped my thinking as a young man. I took the positives out of it.

Family support is key for an early start. If the families don't demand much during pre and post wedding, then the OP is good to go.

BiafraudExposed:
Thank u swizdom

SAMBARRY:
see how person type like gentleman and even though he didn't fully agree with me on my own perspectives he still did it with class and grace.

Thank you jare for the complements.omo luabi. YOUr mother train you well.she will reap from you in Jesus name

Speeddial:
Based on referral from our online HR,BG Consult invites you for an Assessment on FRI 30/09 at 4 Alh Karim St,Amaraolu,Agidingbi-1st Gate Ikeja by 8am.HR:sMITH

MzPecs:
[color=#00cccc] LOL [/color]

An0nimus:
I don't know about others, but this text's colour is a huge turnoff.

SAMBARRY:
who is doing gender battle with this one?I'm telling you the truth and you're talking about gender battles.don't worry na.enu e lowayen.when your children starts gbagauing in the house and learning crass words you didn't teach him at home you will know what's up

Public schools are wonderful my foot.make una continue deluding yourselves it's allowed this is nl.don't work hard so that your family can live a comfortable life.go and marry and start children in an environment of poverty

Kockane:
This Post reminds me of when I led the most violent student demonstration back in my secondary school, May 2005. I single handedly broke 17 windows and embezzled 14 pots of jollof rice from the school kitchen. In saner climes, this would go down in history as one of the greatest examples of man's tenacity and grit in the face of oppression. Unfortunately, the Nigerian government has succeeded in covering it up as if it never happened.

wisdomguy4u:
This is true story; it happened to me just few years ago. Thought i should share it with you guys.

I was transfered from PH to Asaba then by the company i work for. I got a place and settled down in the new town . I got no friends except my co-workers. One Friday after work, a friends of mine at work told me he want to hangout after work and have some drinks and asked me to should join him.

So after work we went to a bar close by . We had some drinks while watching live band and some dancers . it was really fun and i think i took a little too much wine and got tipsy. After spending sometime in the bar ; my friend suggest we go to somewhere else. We drove across severally streets and stopped at one conner of the road, the next thing i saw was group of girls surrounded the car and was showcasing their their assets ( they were prostitutes). I have never patronise prostitutes before, i often saw it as too a risk to take for sex. My friend asked if i care to pick a girl, I told him NO! he said "nawa o" and jump down from the car and began to assess the girls to know the one to pick, it was obvious he is a regular customer. I was in the car watching . I noticed one of the girl was just standing there without talking or making any move for her to be picked. I call her ( i don't know what pushed me to, guess it was the drink) .

As she came forward , i asked her "how much? ", she asked whether its short time or all night ; i told her short time ( bcus i thought its safer ). She said her price was 5000naira, but with the help of my friend she reduced it to 3000naira. I just thought why cant i have a little fun since my girlfriend is in PH.

As we got to my house, we began to have sex ... after few minutes i noticed her body temperature was extremely high. She immediately told me to stop ( i stopped) ; she said she was tired . Even though she hasn't worked for her pay, i gave her the 3000naira we agreed on ; i just wanted her to start going as she was acting strange like someone feeling fainting or something. As she took the money and stood up to dress up; to my greatest surprise she fall down like a tree . My heart almost jumped out of my chest.

I tried to wake her up with water but she was just opening and closing her eyes without saying a word. i thought she was dying or something. I carried her put her in the car and drove her to a hospital not far from my house ; i just felt its better to make an attempt than do nothing.

When i got to the hospital, she was given a bed. One of the nurse asked me who she was to me, i told her that she is a friend . I was told she has acute malaria and shortage of blood and that i should bring money for blood. i paid 15000naira just for the blood and screening . After about an hour, she regained conscious and starting asking me where she was ( that was a big relieve for me) . After i explained to her what happened, she apologized for the stress she put me through, and confessed to me that she knew she wasn't feeling fine but that she needed some cash. As i was about to go , she asked if she could use my phone to call a friend who she left her kids with. I gave her the phone. After the call, she told me her friend said she has an appointment and wants to live her kids alone in the house. I felt for her, so i decide she call her friend back and tell her i was coming to pick them up to bring them to the hospital to stay with her.

when i got to the a road , i called her girlfriend as was agreed. After a few minutes she came out with two beautiful kids , a boy and a girl around 4yrs of age ( they were twins) . The young lady who brought them starting begging me for money for taking care of the kids like am their father ; i remember giving her 500naira . I took the kids to a fast food , bought some snacks and ice cream for them before taken them to stay with their mother in the hospital. The kids were so nice and they kept telling me all sought of stories i didn't even understand throughout our way to the hospital. I felt in love with the kids and at that moment , i decided that i was going to help in way.

Its 5yrs now after the incident. The kids are now 11yrs old ; the girl is staying with my parents in Anambra, my family took her as a member of the family. She is now in JSS 1 . Her twin brother stays with her mother in asaba but often spend his holidays with his sister in anambra. Their mother is still a very friend to me up till today; i sponsored her into learning a tailoring work; now she works for someone and make genuine cash. She is such a nice person, it was obvious she went into prostitution out of frustration after her first boyfriend impregnated her and ran away.

For me, that was the first and the last day i ever picked a prostitute. i have never try such again. sometimes i wonder what if she had died in my room that day; maybe my story would have been on the news as a guy that picked a prostitute and strangled her for rituals..... i thank God for everything

Kgdavid:
My only piece of advice to you today is that you should use wisdom to sift out the wise responses from that of toddlers in this thread. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you should be able to discuss with your partner, to determine how you both can make it work.

Remember that we are here on earth but for a breath or two and then we are gone: don't spend all of your life planning for how to live it, without actually living!

justmenoni:
Omo see advice, you don't even know Op that much and you have concluded that he should build a house, this kind of advice has led alot of people into further debts.

Let's assume Op is currently residing in a room apartment somewhere in mushin and he works on the island, considering that a room apartment might not be more than 5000 a month, that means op is left with 65,000..then consider other expenses, transportation, bills, misc etc how will it be possible for the op to build that house you have just suggested?


If he's going to build a house, putting into consideration the high price of lands and building materials then it means op will have to save alot, and I'm optimistic that with such salary op might need to spend much more to get to work, maybe he'll end up getting to work late and you know what that'll result in..


Anyway, back to the question..Op I'm not an economist ooo but I'll advise you to first manage or stay a bit where you currently stay and then save up in a year, let's say you manage to save up to 30k a month, that's 360 in a year, then after one year you can rent a mini flat(one room,one living room, one toilet, and kitchen), then get married( doesn't have to be extravagant, just go to the registry blah blah blah).. try to use the remaing money to furnish your place a little bit( you can furnish further later on) but keep small change for foodstuff and transportation, then save 30k again for another 6 months( that should give you 180k, use this to establish your wife, small shop and stock it up a bit, at least to start from somewhere).. use the remaining 6 months to save 30k again and use that to pay your house rent( this way you'll be in the good books of your landlord,)... next year try to save for 6 first 6 months and use part of it to support your wife's business and keep the rest just incase a child come's in between, use the remaining 6 months to save and pay your rent...

Op, I'm not advocating that you shouldn't build a house, but to me, that's not and shouldn't be your top priority for now and shouldn't even be for the next couple of years,.

pedrilo:
i currently face this same issue too, but i decided to shelve marriage plans for my building which i''ll soon complete b4 i clock 30. people make marriage look so scary that one begins to wonder if the sayin that "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing" is still correct.

MicroBox:
Your question is so childish and easily tells your age bracket..
My friend go and marry that lady if you are truly in love with her, everything will fall in place later..
You can own a house, car and turns of wealth in a day but you can't have baby(ies) in one day..

LastSurvivor:
Securities in my office that earn 30k p/month doesn't just have a wife but a family while me that earns upto 150k is still afraid for such commitment..

The truth is that it's not just about the money but the MIND..
Mind you, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtain FAVOUR from the Lord"
I guess you know who said so..

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#0099ff]smh you do realize you are now 1 of the 1's who live you wordless yeah?

Issokay[/color]