₦airaland Forum

61. COUNTLESS


The reason why am opting to consult my Dad's uncle is simply because of his varse relationship with evolution. He started his traditional career as an Edge herbalist but gradually, he evolved into a 3G herbalist, now I heard he is now an opulent herbalist in 4Glte, infact he's the latest Chairman of NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF HERBALIST in Nigeria.
Based on logistics, He's a celebrity on his own

My phone rang, I reached for it, I hissed and dropped it on the bed when I saw that it was Adedoyin calling again.

I don't have anything to say to her again, let us find the cure on our individualism. No more collaboration.

***

45mins later, I received a call from Chucks, he called to remind me of the promise I made to him about Nike. I assured him that am still working on it, and to expect an affirmative reply soon. He ended the call after hailing me and promising to be forever loyal to me.


The door opened and Joke came inside carrying a large tray containing the wheat and Ugwu. She placed it on the bed and fetched a stool and a plastic chair where she placed the food and her butt respectively across me

"this food is too much for me alone nau, you cooked it as if am going to fight with Shao kahn of Mortal kombat after eating" I said after scrutinizing the flavour and quantity of the wheat and ugwu with meat and crayfish in another dish

She smiled "I cooked it for the two of us na, lets eat before it gets cold" She rinsed her hands in the small bucket of water and prayed silently

I let her finish her devotion and gave her a sceptical look. "don't tell me you haven't taken anything since daybreak Joke"

"why should I? When the only Man I've ever loved in my life haven't eaten" She stated with so much alacrity in her voice that makes me wonder what exactly I did to deserve this virtuous lady

After taking all the procedures to eating a food, we succeded in sending the dishes back to the kitchen sink just the way they were bought. She went to the freezer while I sat down on the couch after plugging my phone to the socket beside the glass shelve in the living room

"now tell me what the shrilled noise was all about" She said sitting down beside me and handed me a glass cup of fruit juice

"errm...hmm" I cleared my throat. Just as I was about to begin, my Barca conscience popped up again 'Darous remember our discussion o, no fall my hand o..' I smiled wryly 'sure...buddy...trust me' I replied mentally

'Darous, hmmm, its better to speak the truth and die than..' my Madrid conscience was saying before I mentally cut in angrily 'will you just shut the fvck up? Why should I say the truth and die when I can give a PGL and be alive?'

"Darous am listening o" Joke's voice ended our commune interrogation

"Joke, the reason for the noise you heard was because of the call I received from my mum...and"

"what?...everything alright?...." she queried tremulously

"She called to inform me that my Dad's Uncle have told her to vacate my dad's house, and he's given them just a week ultimatum" I stopped as I watched her face changed from an anxious one to a dolorous one

"Darous, sorry to say, I don't mean to be rude,I mean your dad's uncle, is he crazy or what...?" She stood up abruptly "how can he do such a thing in this century?" She asked rhetorically with a voice filled of contempt and anger "you know what, let me call my mum's lawyer, he will know what to do"

I felt aghast as her last statement settled into my brain

What! Lawyer ke? Ontop wetin? Ah don die...Na lie ah dey lie o

I heard my Madrid conscience made a wild chuckle and I started feeling uncomfortable

'Thunder fire you o!, I mentally cursed my Barca conscience, 'See wetin you don cause with your stewpid advice?'

"why is he not picking his phone?..." Joke's voice sparked me back to planet earth "okay...today is Monday, He must be in a meeting...I will call him later" She sat down beside me feeling a bit relaxed

"errm...Joke...why...erm...why don't you let me handle it myself before you involve your errm Lawyer...you know he's my family afterall, and I have to handle this issue painstakingly" I stated hoping to change her already made up mind

"like seriously? Darous, I know this type of people, I've experienced something like this from my dad's family when the divorce issue was going on" She put her right palm on my lap "Dear, this set of people are so primitive...they are so deep in their own delusions and have already lost track in reality and only by the legal way of law can they return to reality.... trust me, our Lawyer can handle this!" She declared with a tone of finality

'shey you be Pharaoh, now you don enter your red sea, enjoy the swim' My madrid conscience taunted me again

I stared blankly at the Plasma TV lost totally in my own thoughts

My Perfect Gentle Lie have brought me to a Perfect Terrible Situation (PTS). Na only gawd fit save me now with the way this Joke is so determined to provide help at my own detriment.


T.B.C

Guys am deeply happy to be unbanned this night. I really don't know why the update keeps on getting banned. But I wil try it again and hope I don't get banned.

Thanks for understanding and being loyal

60. COUNTLESS


Happy New Month FAMZ!!


I was visibly startled as the sight of Joke settled in my vision
and my hand tremulously withdraw the phone from my ear

I scrutinized her face for a few moment and was dithered on what to do

"Dear....whats the shrill all about? Whats going on?"
She said with a tremulous voice but I wasn't able to answer her immediately. I sat on the reading table and embarked on a reminiscence trip about my life

Wetin they happen for my life this days? Can't someone just live his life without worry again?

The events that started occuring in my life the day Jide introduced me to that sugar mummy stuffs with Beatrice were
gradually becoming tremendously unpleasant

I was drugged and rap*d at the hotel.
The following morning's Embarrasment?, to the Robbery incident, the Police station dilema, the threat!, the narrow escape of getting cut in Joke's mum's room, the Fainting dream, the encounter with the two ugly beasts, and now this death issue!

Gawd! When am I going to start living a peaceful life? Must I die because of seeking a better life? I never even fvck half of the pvssy I dreamed about and thats an ambition on its own

"Darous, talk to me nau," Joke's concern voice brought me back from the trip of cryptical thoughts "I asked you whats the cause of the noise?"

I cleared my throat "errrmm.....Joke" I tried to find my voice "its nothing....you don't have to worry"

"don't tell me that! I won't buy it...Darous, the way you shouted was enough to bring down the wall of Jericho...and" She pointed to my right hand that was wielding the phone "you didn't even bother to end
the call you are making...which all points to the fact that something is really going on with you".

I brought the phone to my face and saw that the call duration timer was still reading

'oh sh!t, Doyin must
have heard her voice!'. I cursed mentally, but
thats a worry for another time. Let me first of all attend to Joke's WAEC thats staring at my face and worry later about Doyin's JAMB of troubles

I ended the call and walked to the bed and slowly sat down on it. Joke squeezed her face and approached me
"dear, whats the matter? And don't tell me its nothing, because your face and body doesn't exactly scream NOTHING". She stated in a way that shows she's not going to accept anything I tell her unless its the truth

I placed my palms on her cheeks and stared at her beautiful face trying to intimidate her with my looks "Joke am fine... Trust me.."

"your face is somehow sad
and gloomy, sweetheart its
like you have a very lose definition of FINE..." She
remarked with an angst tone and added "talk to me please" I scrutinized her
face again and saw nothing but
pure sincerity in her
beautiful and sexy eyes just the same type I saw in her
mum's few weeks ago

She sat down beside me and put her right hand across my shoulder "you ought to have known by now that I will
always be worried about you dear..." She stated rubbing the back of my neck

I eased up a bit
and began to search the mendacious part of my brain to look for a perfect lie to give her

"ok. I'll tell you, but thats after I eat. Go prepare my food and I'll tell you everything when I finished eating"

She shrugged and rose up immediately and exited the room

I can't tell her that am in some kind of complicated cryptical issues with the woman I proclaimed to be my dad's sister or can I?

I listined attentively as my Barca and Madrid conscience began their verbal el-classico match

Madrid says, 'tell her the truth, she will understand, she loves you Darous, I can see it in her eyes, Joke is the type of woman that can steer her ship along with your storm without any repercussions'

Barca countered back immediately 'Darous don't mind that idiot o, well I don't expect him to understand because he only works with visual aid, if not, how can he say you should risk getting back on the street by telling her the truth? Abeg, you know say I like you, please no mind him o...just give her a gentle lie....'

Madrid interrupted, 'there's nothing like a gentle lie, a lie is a lie, since it can hurt someone you care about...'

Barca cuts in 'Darous, you be my niggar nau, since when ah don dey give you scope to handle people, have I ever given you the one that will back fire? Just trust me on this..na lie sure pas...'

Yes! You are right, thats the best thing to do, I mentally gave my Barca conscience a thumbs up for defeating my Madrid

'you are making a big mistake Darou....' Madrid was saying before I cut in angrily
"Will you shut up! Please mind your own business and don't ever disturb me again". I hissed and came to a conclusion of giving her a Perfect Gentle Lie (PGL)

I relaxed on the bed and was lost in thought on how to handle the Jamb issue with Adedoyin. After deliberating for a while, I decided to handle it the traditional way. I'll have to go to my native town, Lanlate in Oyo state, to consult my late dad's uncle. He will definitely help me out...


TBC

guys abeg....b patience Jonathan 4 me abeg. I wil update soon

59. COUNTLESS


The inspector handed my phone and rolex watch to me in a small polytene bag. I switched on my phone to check its condition. It was working fine.

"Mister lets have your statement now". Inspector Bovi said drawing a higher education book closer to himself with a pen in his hand

Promptly when I was about to start talking a message notification from an unsaved number popped on my phone. It reads

'BLAB MY NAME AT your own PERIL. You don't want to dare me-B'

With my short experience with desperate and vengeful women, have come to learn never to dare a lady

She might be trying to manipulate me or bluffing, but I don't have the luxury to take that chance at the expense of my well being

"whats the matter? We don't have the whole night to spend here Mister" Inspector Bovi's voice jerked me back to reality

"noth...nothing sir, just trying to remember everything that happened because I was mostly out of concsiousness throughout the ordeal".

Truth be told, I had no intention of telling the police about her, because how do I explain to them without Joke finding out that I lied to her to meet someone else prior to my Dads Sister? She will probably never forgive me

Therefore, I pretentiously told the police that I was just strolling by at the park beside the motel before those two ladies elusively tricked me into a corner by asking me to help them change the flat tire of a car that was parked in the parking lot and shot me with tranquilizers. Adding that I was oblivious to how I ended up inside the motel. They all swallowed the cruel lie and congratulated me for coming out unscathed

The inspector further stressed that the police had been on the trail of Pretty and Beauty for quite a long time but glad that they were finally apprehended with my help

"all thanks to my dck and handsome face". Ofcos I didn't say that out

***

The following day being a monday, Joke came to my room and informed me that the two captured ladies are dead. The police confirmed it to be suicide with the marks and facts seen on their bodies

"hmm..Beatrice at work" I murmured

"what?" Joke asked

"ah! Nothing...Just feeling bad with that traggic news..." I said with a pretended smile

"so am I... I know those guys must be behind it all"

"I think so too...but you are the reason am alive today Joke...thanks very...."

"when will you start realizing that whatever I do for you, apparently I do it for myself eh?"

"ok..thanks hon" I gave her a peck on the forehead "but Joke you took a great risk of coming to the station without your wheelchair"

"you are right, but don't worry, the inspector and my mum are friends. He helped us alot during the court hearings" She said assurely

"you mean there's another person out there that knows about your secret apart from me?"

"hmmm...not quite really...but literally yes"

"hmmm...so whats for breakfast? Am starving"

"am I not enough to fill your belly"

"abeg go get me food jor, your body is meant for another department of my body" I pointed to my crotch and she bursted into laughter

"just...give me 40mins, I will prepare wheat and ugwu for you love". She turned and head for the door. My phone rang and she turned around, seeing it on the reading table, she reached for it before I could get there and a frown showed on her face as she handed the phone to me

I collected it and saw the caller I.d, it was Adedoyin

"who's A.D.Y?" she queried

"hmmm...my friends gf...she probably wants to ask for my friend" I replied elusively. The phone stopped ringing for 3secs and rang again

"is that so!..ok, let me go and get your food ready" She pecked me and exited the room

I approached the bed and sat down on the edge. I began to rake my brain for a cogent excuse to give Adedoyin. I was suppose to meet her yestday but turned her down by going for a match that nearly put me into deep trouble

I picked it when an idea suddenly popped into my head

"Please Ade, am deeply...."

"sorry for yourself....you don't know the reason why have been calling for us to meet...its for your own benefit Darous..."

"you are right, I know you are generous and kind but..."

"let me go straight to the point". She cuts in "the drink we had together back then was laced with a charm..."

I sprang up to my feet immediately.
"what are....you talking about...juju in our drinks? You put it there didn't you?"

"I swear, I have no idea how it got there, I'd been having some mysterious sexual dreams since the last 15days where I always end up fainting and thats why I came back from my trip to italy prior to the allorted time for the seminar to sort out for help..have you been having the same dream?"

"ye...s" I replied trembling. "But whats gonna happen to us now?" I questioned frightenely

"this week's friday makes it 21days of the charm in our body, we can die anytime from then if we don't break the jinx"

Am totally fvcked! I cussed out loudly as Joke barged inside with a deep questioning look on her beautiful face


TBC

huntsman007:
kikiki. dem don spoil ur fine boy..
.. I av a feeling u will be visiting mecca soon..
...get ready for some explanation..
... keep it coming theblessedman... nice update

infact ah don book a flight to medina...

darepapi:
Kai!!!! theBlessedman, abeg come update

sure bro. Wil definitely update today

GindoX:
Haaa! Sorry for the stolen phone óo.. Sango will replace it..

amen o. Thanx bro

boffinjay:
i feel lyk dat sumtymz.during our frequent heated argument.

lolz! I pray may Gawd continue to giv u d needed strenght to control ur temper

update o. 1st to comnt

boffinjay:
ouch!i'm an original and die hard fan of MANCHESTER UNITED.in spain i am for REAL.bt chelsea nd Fcb are nt mine.i hate those fvcking clubs.because of d kind of fans dey have.fvcking bragging fans.#GGMU.

u make it sound as if u ready to kill any che or barca fan if u had d chance!

boffinjay:
9ce update bt y did it tuk u so long?nd ang,anger,angst.fvcking funny

no vex jare bro, my phone was stoled o. Am looking 4 the stoler ganself

GindoX:
I dey gbadun dis guy... Make ur prick No fail u when u need bornboi ... Am sure u don lost count how many times Ur dick enter p**sy

u get sense bro. Ur head dey dia

Jambo6630:
TheBlessedMAN, what is going on na? Must you always be drugged? Sango did not even fortify you at all? You no get odeeshi?! Anyways, seems your updates are becoming too short nowadays, please do something about it. And update soon, please.

gawd wil nt giv u d power to vex 4 me abeg. Am deeply sowi 4 wantin to make u to vex. No vex bro

aydolar:
;Dnice story

nice story

nice story

thanks bro. I app it

boffinjay:
you're a fan of which football club

3 in 1. Man u, chelsea and Fcb. What do u think

Jowaxy:
Keep it up bro

tanx buddy. Tanx alot

gtin:
TheBlessedMAN ar u sure u will update 2day? Jst asking sha

sure I will. What eva it takes

Kenooff:
Nice one with reduced suspense but short though .... when are we getting the next update

pray tell, i'll update today. Thankz buddy

58. COUNTLESS


The bang landed on the door again albeit more louder and ferocious this time around

Tonto extracted her pvssy from my face and nudged me to remain still. She jumped down and I watched her entered the toilet

"this is Inspector Bovi of the Nigeria Police force. Open the door now and surrender yourself." That was the sound that roared from a megaphone just outside the door

Without warning Beyoncè lowered her head towards me and sent a slap across my handsome face "you fool, you managed to contact the police" She added bearly audible

It feels as if the slap jogged some part of my brain back to reality as her ugly image resettled gradually in my mind

"what tha fvck!" I cussed and hurled her away with all my strenght. I jumped down from the bed and reached for my Madrid jersey and jeans just as the police voice continued resonantly

The event that took place afterwards was less than 3mins

I was stuck inside the left of my jeans when Pretty emerged from the toilet and knocked me to the ground with a heavy kick

"you fvcking slowpoke invited the fvcking police! But I swear, if we are going down today, we will make sure you don't live to tell the tale." She pounced on me and gave me another blow on my mouth which forced an incisor out of my mouth. I spurted and few H.I.V free blood oozed out of my mouth

Throwing my vow of being gentlemanly with woman into the lagoon, I used all my strenght to push her miniature height aside and escorted her with a neck twisting punch on her face which rendered her motionless on the floor

I sprang up abruptly and a bone crunching kick landed on my still painful ribs and I stumbled to the bed. Beauty dashed towards me perhaps with the aim of elbowing me on my stomach, but I calculated her move with the help of the pythagoras rule and ducked by rolling to the other side of the bed

I landed on the floor with a groaning sound escaping from my mouth as my eyes settled on the only weapon that placed me at an advantage of the situation. I saw The gun with Tranquillizers lying centimeters away from me

I reached for it and rose up to my feet in coincidence with Beauty's move to slash my head with a stool

Without giving her any second thoughts, I aimed the gun at her "Take am...your father yansh!" I stated as I squeeze the trigger 5times

I watched as 5 tranquilizers sprung out in quick successions and lined up in the valley of her brest with a mewling sound

She fell flat on the bed dropping the stool as she lost consciousness and embarked on a dreamless slumber

The police voice continued resonantly outside

Pretty rose up holding her neck with one hand and pointed a gun at me with a daring look without saying a word

I was scared at first but a quick resilient at the probability that the gun she's holding might be the Made In China gun caused me to smile widely stretching my painful mouth in the process

"unless a toy gun can kill, not even a rapture can stop me from sending you to your ugly ancestors with this gun b!tch!" Her jaw dropped in shock and I quickly pulled the trigger, but 'click' nothing 'click' nothing third 'click' still nothing. "what tha hell!" I screamed out in angst

"you are fvcked! Idiot!" She made to rush at me coincidentally the same time a gunshot sounded and the door was forcefully open. Two amoured policemen rushed inside instantly and accosted Pretty

"drop the gun now! To the floor!" Commanded one of them and we both oblidge immediately without uttering a single word

***

I was taken outside to the waiting police van in handcuffs alongside the slumbering Beauty and the handcuffed Pretty

It was dark outside as the Police van drove out of the motel premises and headed towards the Police HQ at Eleweran

We got to the station and the two policemen lead us to the anti-robbery section and unlocked our cuffs. I was allowed to sit down on the available bench until a senior inspector came inside with a sobbing Joke and Her mum

Immediately Joke saw me, she ran towards me and we engaged in a very tight embrace

"Gawd bless!, you are finally safe Darous!" Doris said interrupting our hug with a satisfactory smile

"I can't believe it myself" I said as Joke pulled away and I could see traces of tears on her cheeks "but how did the police found me" I asked no one in particular

"all thanks to this young lady here, she tipped us off" The Senior inspector stated pointing to Joke. I directed my gaze to Joke with a questioning look

"I got your message and informed the police immediately" Joke said with a less angst tone

"what messa....?" my mind flashed back to the moments before Pretty pointed the gun at my face and I remembered that my thumb was directly placed on the 'SEND ICON'.

'oh gawd of thunder! my thumb must have accidentally pressed it before I dropped the phone on the floor'. I confirmed mentally and smiled at Joke. "I owe you my life dear, thank you..."

"what happened to your teeth?" Questioned Joke

"oh! Blow happened" I said


TBC

gtin:
btw TheBlessedMAN so dos ugly mamas later turn divas oh?

naxo we c am o brother

Bae, u've gat me seriously addicted to this masterclass. Keep it coming, lov u sporadically

gtin:
PrinceOFpeace TheBlessedMAN own personal DSS i loyal oh btw TheBlessedMAN so dos ugly mamas later turn divas oh?

na xo jare my guy

celeboe:
theblessedman is so good at wat he does,carry on

tanx bro

Mimienudles:
I'm actually a Bae

oh! Is dat so? Hope u avnt dialed 911 yet? Please pardon my ignorance my lady