₦airaland Forum

Laboni:
You abandoned your husband when he was sick and you come here now to talk rubbish.. Well the in laws should hand over all the man’s properties they claimed to his children.

Read well.It is nowhere stated in the story that she abandoned him when he was sick.He may have developed the crisis after she was away.

Lagoon0:
Though Igbo has chosen to remain primitive to the present day .but I think she's a gold digger also, how will your husband ask you not to work and you choose to.
House wife are common with igbos not yorubas so she was happy doing nothing.
When my grandpa died my dad who was the first son had to call his elder sis before the talk on sharing properties. Same in our house today my dad will always call my elder sister on family issues . when will Igbo start respecting female children ?

Na today?It's a common thing with a sizeable number of Igbo men.Many Igbo men generally don't like their wives working for other people.Many wives are not allowed to work.It's fairly common.

She stated, “I travelled home to Ondo State to be with my mum when I was pregnant with my twin girls and by the time I returned to Abuja, my husband had been taken away to an unknown location, because he had a crisis. We were not allowed to see him until we were informed that he had died in August 2018.

“I was also not allowed to see his remains in the mortuary. I had to beg the attendants, who said they were under strict instructions not to allow me to see the body. Shortly after his death, my husband’s siblings came to our house in Gwarimpa and took away his personal effects, including his vehicles, and left us with nothing.”

Those saying she abandoned her husband when he was sick,i don't know how some of you read!
She travelled to be with her mum when she was close to give birth.It is not stated that the husband was sick at that time.He most likely developed a crisis after she had left.

By the way,is that why she would even be denied access to her husband's remains in the mortuary and even denied burial presence?Uwa mmebi.

She probably has a fear of pregnancy and the thought of having another CS has created a fear in her.
You're probably not doing it right too which makes her not yearn for it.

DenreleDave:
Nairaland ancient of days.. I greet you...


2007 ehn when u register for nairaland , I still dey ss1

Congrats,you have grown now.

ORIAYO70:
Jw r never like Muslims nor we look other denomination disdainfully, we give an adequate respect to everyone n their religion......

The reason we don't marry outside Jw circle is stated in 1 Corinthians 7:39


A wife is bound as long as her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep in death, she is free to be married to whomever she wants, only in the Lord.

The latter part Only in the Lord indicate only those we share same believes.....

You can also read 1King 3:1 n see what happens to Solomon when he chose wives from himself out of the circle of Jehovah's People....

If a lady or Man marries out of the stipulated Bible standards, he/she might face the aftermath

Only in the Lord .........which Lord?Which Lord do the others believe?smh

The truth is they hardly marry a non-JW.For your fiancée to think of marrying you shows she's not deep in her doctrines.You say she's liberal and that's ok but will she keep going to her Church kingdom when you marry?Will you also follow her there?Where will your children go?How will you manage family from both sides and activities(especially birthdays,parties etc)?

Oracle20:
Thank you all for your opinions. The thing is that. She's liberal in thinking as i'm. I have examined the teachings and views from both sides. I came to the conclusion that all are same when it comes to the core things in Christianity. But unfortunately a lot of people would rather place emphasis on the things that are not important, things that were never taught by Jesus Christ.

You're getting indoctrinated. I go love o.

dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

You are sleeping with another woman now,why does it bother you who or if your wife is sleeping with another person?

You asked for the DNA test,who should pay for it...the government?

I'm not sure if you got a proper divorce.The court would have given you your roles to play and your financial obligations.I'm sure they would not deny you access to your children.

So, we believe that is how Allah said they will both end their lives,” the source added.

SMH

So who beheaded the teacher?
He should go and sit down.

MasterofNL:
There's always drama. Why can't I approach my wife and have sex? Drama today, tomorrow until when she senses the strain in our relationship she will then agree. I am tired of the cycle

She's not going about it the right way.There may be days when she may not be in the mood but your wife's handling of your sex life is poor.
I'm sure you must have spoken to her about this a couple of times.She needs an external counsel too.......like a therapist.

She must have a reason which you need to find out.
Is it denial for one day or continuous denial?

Dikenasouth:
I caught him cheating last year and early this year, but he said its over now. And yes I noticed the change last year... He even wanted to do anal and I refused after even trying to do it but couldn't stand the pain. I think the girl he was dating introduced new pleasures to him and I can't keep up

Here lies the problem.The change has to come from him.

Well,for some reasons he doesn't find you that appealing again.Perhaps,he's seeing another woman.
Talk to him when the mood is right.Also try to take the lead sometimes on bed.

Since you still have some form of communication with her via WhatsApp,just keep that line open.
Don't rush trying to force her to bring the boy,you have to find a way to LURE her.
You will have to bid your time.

Try to be there financially for your boy's need meanwhile.

Aida23:
Hi there. I'm looking for office movers in Miami. Only a proven company, cause I have many valuables and heavy stuff at the office. Maybe you have some experience in that field, give me a piece of advice.

Is it the Miami in Isale Eko?

So to marry woman that earns more na crime?

bukatyne:
Nothing new.

Where is the link?

@women having a much lower libido from 35 is different from the new narrative that women have a higher libido as they grow other.

We have young sugar mummies (40s and 50s) who would not exist if women's libido is generally lower than men's.

I read someone that the highest patrons of dildos and other sexual toys in Nigeria were the older women (50s/60s) who were sexuallu frustrated.

Maybe they should have gone a step ahead and asked Suzanne if she felt desire for other men/man, felt sexual desire at all or lost sexual attraction for her husband (all different issues).

I agree that sexually frustrated men (and women) in marriage have reaching consequences.

The one I know is women having peak libido in their 30s.
Exactly@bold.

Your son doesn't seem to have any developmental delays from your story but is just a slow starter which is normal for some kids.
You've got nothing to worry about,your child will pick up at his own time.

Ishilove:
Op is huffing and puffing, and threatening his wife with ejection to her father's house. What is it with many Nigerian men and ''pack to your father's house"?? She should abort or pack, like she is some sort of garbage disposal that can be opened up and scrubbed with detergent.

Let me not say what is in my mind.

Don't mind Op.He doesn't want a pregnancy yet he didn't play an ACTIVE role in preventing the pregnancy.He even had sex with his wife when she was OVULATING!
Pack out ko,pack in ni.

Op,you are not clear in your statement about this pregnancy.Is it a pregnancy you both wanted?If not your wife wanted to prevent a pregnancy and she didn't do wrong by using a plan B contraceptive.

Anyway she is pregnant already and the chances of the Postpill having an effect on the baby is negligible.It's not an abortifacient.Ectopic pregnancies are caused by a different factor altogether.

charles009:
Thanks coco.candy for this thorough detailing, however, I will confirm the drugs she took.
Yes she saw her menstruation last month
Yes we had sex when she was ovulating.

Why did the drug fail or are you saying she got preggy earlier.

When did she use the Postpill?That will determine its effectiveness.The drug is supposed to be used within 72hrs of having unprotected sex.However,with all contraceptives,there is some degree of failure.

Pope or Popeye?

mrNelsonT:
Noting progressive abt sending away the child. I've two small kids. God forbid anything happens to my Queen, i no go remarry, but if I do i can't imagine sending my child out of my home. The child belongs in her father's house. Removing the child from the home could be part of the woman's game plan all along, she may prevent the child from returning or brainwash op into refusing her return. So OP shouldn't give in to sending her away in the first place. Imagine her daughter punching the child, giving her a black eye and telling OP her daughter had the right to such. The mother may have joined in to beat the kid sef. OP himself isn't safe living the woman. In saner climate the abusers gets removed from the home n charged, while the child remains with the saner adult.

Sending away is not the phrase but keeping the child away and it is temporary. It is just to relieve tension.The aim is just to make room for reconciliation of all except the marriage is over.

Is suicide the easy way out?
Insomnia can be treated,even depression can get treatment.
Why make your family sorrowful?

Boldz:
Thanks you everyone for the great advice . she has insisted that my daughter must leave or she will leave with all 4 children , have told her my daughter will not go anywhere she will leave alone but she refused and keep fighting me I am tired of her madness I have made up my mind and told her to leave with all 4 children and we will meet in court. She made her choice and I am not going to stop her

If this is the stage where you are now then let her go with the children.
IT IS NOT THE BEST DECISION FOR THE FAMILY but it can suffice for now.Your wife will get tired after some time and seek reconciliation.
My desire for you is that you reconcile all parties except you don't want the marriage again.Pray for wisdom to be able to do that.

Korllami007:
I understand you jare.
The man should wait until the daughter blinds the two eyes before he takes action.

He is to take action..........right action .....that is progressive for the family
That's why I said he can take the child to his mother for some time.

Psych412:
it's your type that ignores thier daughter/son when been maltreated and nearly killed by their stepmom.

You can't side your daughter or son while making it obvious in a marriage where there are stepchildren.It only causes more division.I'm not saying if she is being maltreated,don't protect her,i'm just saying you should seek fairness and justice and not just say because she's my daughter i have to defend her against the stepchildren.

bukatyne:
@bold

I don't see that happening.

His wife is too 'rancourous' for that.

If she wanted peace, she should have pleaded for her daughter not to leave as she is 'changed'.

Sending the man's daughter away doesn't resolve the issue, just buries it and creates bitterness in the heart of the two daughters.

This is the issue that must be resolved if the family is to stay as one.If her daughter has to leave the house,she will keep insisting the stepdaughter leaves too or else the anger and bitterness will not be resolved.She will definitely treat the stepdaughter bad too when alone with her.

Oizee:
there is dis thing with people, when they feel u can't do without dem, they tend to blackmail u a lot, imagine the audacity to tell d man that if her daughter leaves d little girl she met must also not stay with dem, d man should invite his mother to stay while he figures out what next to do, I'm telling you dis woman must surely come begging. I wish op could keep us updated when d time comes.

Well,it's her way of seeking equality.We need to understand that everyone(wife and the two daughters) have rights in that house by virtue of the fact that they have come together in a marriage.
I actually wish the Op can work out a way to reconcile all except he's going to throw away the marriage.
How can he train the stepdaughter and make her live peaceably with his own daughter?This to me is the more positive path.

Oizee:
please tell him to send d wife with d daughter away while the tension cools, his daughter is with every right to stay under her father's roof, to hell with the woman.

They have other kids.I'm sure he can't handle them alone if the wife leaves.

Why take off the bra?She put gun for bra?

For now,take your daughter to your mom or somewhere she can stay safe while the tension cools.
It's unfortunate you married a woman who has no maturity uniting the family.