₦airaland Forum

confusions!!!
.
.
1. Can you cry under water?
2. Do fishes ever get thirsty?
3. Why don’t birds fall of trees
when they sleep?
4. Why is it called
building when it is already built?
5. When they say dogs food is
new and improved, who tastes
it?
6. “I Love You” is not a question
then why does it need an
answer?
7. Why does round pizza come in a
square box?
8. Why doesn’t glue
stick to its bottle?
9. If money doesn’t
grow on trees then why do banks
have branches?
They said our stomach grinds
food...who inserted d grinding
machine
If GOD made woman out of
man,why do women give birth 2
male kids again?

dame patience jonathan®

enlighten me on wat kegite club is al abt.i do c dem dancing and singing alone i wonder y dey dnt go 2 church and bcom choir members

I love Jonathan facial expression ever smiling.Why patience round like rodent 4d 1st pix

1+2+3+5+8+0.5=20.approximate.

ABEG WHO FOOLISH PASS 4
DIS
3 MEN?
Yoruba man watering his
farm
under heavy rain
Igbo man see ripe mango on
d
tree,he climed d tree 2
confirm d ripeness, den he
came dwn 2
pick stone to pluk it
Hausa man walking on a bush
path, he saw smtin
dat luks lyk shit, so he bent
down nd tasted it
and said "heey na shit o, tank
God say i no
match am"

.how come dis got 2 front page....WELLJUST GOT MY NIGERIAN PASSPORT.,NOW A CITIZEN..please come celebrate with me

*A guy takes a girl on a date. She
orders costly champagne, oysters,
lobsters, the most expensive food on
the menu. The guy asks: “Do you eat
like this at your mom’s place?” The
girl replies, “No, my mother doesn’t
plan to sleep with me after the meal.’

2 idiots standin at museum lookin at
an Egyptian mummy wit 1347BC
written below it. Joba:Wht does that
mean. TOLU:It must be her BB Pin

maishot: Ha! Olodo

if na u wetin u go do

WHO FOOLISH PASS BTW SAKA,AKPORS AND TOLU..PLS COMMENTS AND CRITICS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

THE DOCTOR
The Lagos State Medical Doctors
were on
Strike.
A senior Doc was in a hurry to
join his
colleague in the protest while in the
theatre on a patient, so he left
Dr. TOLU - his male assistant in
charge.
The senior doc came back &
asked, "How did u get on?"
Dr TOLU says,
"I had 3 Patients. The 1st had a
Headache
so I give her Paracetamol" "Good
man" says the Senior Doc. "The 2nd had
Indigestion, so I
gave her
Gaviscon."
"Well done." said the senior Doc.
"The 3rd was a Young gorgeous
woman who burst into d room, took off
all her clothes & lay downon the
table, spreads
her legs and shouts,
'Please, please help me, I haven't
seen a man in 5 years……...!'"
"Shiiit!!! What did you do?" asks
the senior
Doc. Dr TOLU replies,
"I gave her Eyedrops.

Ayomitide77: Exactly

tanx cos sum1 said i wod buy change of course form

Ayomitide77: U cant change it until u resume.

i have to accept d course b4 i go change..u mean like crossing over

pls i was given english,can i get change of course form pls

Grow up SON...your past is ur past...present is present...if God looked at Saul' past Paul wodn?t av done wonders..

.c me c question...nairaland,land for junks...u tell me or ask when u start am...why askin me if 2 end...grow up...SON

I knew today would be a glorious...well they tried but not fanastic...World cup would expose there flops which keshi needs to work on.....We need a unique team...he is gradually wiping out the home base...am not celebrating cos dat won?t solve my issues...

mayb na bf and gf tinz.do u knw wat it means 2have triplet out of wedlock.who go wait.Condom na #20 triplet na ow mch.na where d guy fckup be dat.They r God's gift,some are weeping 2get 1 yl odas r flushing dem out,some are running.

Connoisseur: come guy no let me vex with u. complete this now now

TOLU fell on the floor hysterically
laughing. The mother superior
was disusted by his act and
inquired, "what are you laughing
at?"
TOLU,trying to catch his breath
was bearly able to say this "I PEED
INTO THE HOLY WATER

TOLU and three of his University
student didn't write an exam
because they did not study. TOLU
then came up with a plan, got
themselves dirty using grease
then went to see the Dean.
"Sir we are sorry we couldn't
make it to then exam. We
attended a wedding and on our
way back the car broke down
thus we became so dirty as you
can see."
The Dean understood and gave
TOLU and his friend three days
to prepare.
After three days they went to the
Dean very ready for the exam
because they had studied. The
Dean put them in there separate
classes.
There were only four questions in
the exam paper:
1. Who and who got married? (25
mks)
2. Where was the reception held?
(25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break
down? (25mks)
4. What type of car broke down?
(25mks)
Note: Your answers must be the
same. Good luck!
.

Here is the list of some funny
observations about Nigerian
Nollywood movies.
1. It's funny that a Ghost picks up
a call in Nollywood. How is it
actually possible?
2. Interesting to know: why
should a Ghost look "left and
right" before crossing the road?
3. Isn't it funny when two Ghost
to fall in love?
4. Why do Nollywood characters
always die or run mad
immediately after their
confessions?
5. How come a legendary Village
Movie, set in the 70′s, still find
Brazilian hair on Mercy Johnson?
6. Why must all hired assassins be
found in uncompleted or
abandoned buildings?
7. Can you imagine a complete
Yoruba movie without a visit to
the 'Baba'?
8. How can one explain that nine
times out of ten Olu Jacobs dies of
heart attack in Nollywood movies.
9. "15 years ago" , Ini Edo calls her
boyfriend using a Blackberry Bold
5.
10. When poor people come to
Lagos to struggle, they always
make it. Really?
11. Isn't it funny when Segun
Arinze acts as Ramsey Noah's
dad? 12. It's quite a strange thing
to hear from a blind woman: "I'm
happy to see you, my son".
Maybe you have something to
add?

PrettySpicey: @Tolu,
really great jokes. U av me roflmao.
Keep it coming, man.

tanx dear

Keshi we dnt av a problem with dat if u keep winning buh anyday i mean ANYDAY..U start fcking up..den we wod av problem wit ur attitude too

dis all wat iyanya waz chopping silently..God dey..oya make i go release my own song..tonto dicke must trip naw...

servant or no servant..d masses are their servants too..dey they keep slapping people u wod open mouth and wonder,if it was God dat created u both..give me 1 police babe too i nid housemaid

Ugly gurls gettin married evry
saturday,the pretty ones wil be buyin
ASO EBI looking glamorous in d
wedding pictures waiting for dangote
or jonathans son...

There were three nuns and a mother
sperior. The mother sperior told the
three nuns that before they can
receive their saint names they had one
final test she told them to go and
commit one sin so that they would not
have urges to be bad.
Aftet the three nuns returned, the
mother superior asked "did you commit
your sins they all nodded their head.
the first two nuns were crying while
nun TOLU the last nun was gigling.
The mother superior asked them to
confess their sins one after the other.
The first nun started with tears in his
eyes "i was just rotten; i picked up
flowers from some one's garden the
mother superior said go drink the holy
water n u'll be alright nun TOLU was
dancing around in laughter .
the second nun said he stole candy
from a baby he was asked to drink the
holy water. now nun TOLU fell on the
floor hysterically laughing. The mother
superior was disusted by his act and

A mortuary attendant was
receiving bodies when he
saw this body with the
name mike on it with the
longest dickey he has ever
seen he decided to cut it
off and go show his wife,
when he reached home he
called out his wife
"Sweetie come I wanna
show you something"
the wife came and on
spotting the dickey she
screamed "YOU MEAN MIKE
IS DEAD!!!!!!!?

Girlz to Boyz
.
.
1980's : Love me, but don't touch
me.
.
.
1990's : Touch me, but don'tkiss
me.
.
.
2000's : Kiss me, but don't do
anything more.
.
.
2010's : Do anything, but don't tell
anyone.
.
.
Since 2013 : Do everything,
otherwise I will tell everyone that
you can't do anything...

Tolu Screams into an Envelope
all because he wanted to send a
VOICE "MAIL"
one for Tolu

My girlfriend buy wig of 450k kon dey complain of headache.She no knw say na 2plots of land for mowe/ibafo she carry so.if u be her boyfriend you go allow am loose am