₦airaland Forum

Juliaann:
.

make me to also have a crush on you. . .

dis one they are falling for you. . .hope we are safe

Francman:
I want some more, OP!

am willing to post more but the comments is not encouraging.

1) Don't let anyone manage you.
Don't force anyone to love u.
Those who love you genuinely
would show up. You should be
celebrated.

2) Don't be under pressure to
attend to someone's need. Whatever you won't be able to attend to, Let them know on time.

3) Learn not to compare urself
with anyone.
We might be friends but we all
started from different points.

4) Learn to stop living in the
shadows of people. I am unique.

5) Get to know that you can't
please everyone ,but u can try your best to and at least be contented that u tried.

6) Learn how to move on with
ur life when someone refuses to accept ur apology. They are not my God.

7) Learn that even when you
seek advice from people, you still need to be sure of what you want or else you would be led astray.

Learn that envy/jealousy kills
your creativity and introduces
fear into your ability because
you feel the other person is
better than you.

9) Learn that the little positive
things we do influences people's lives a lot.
Keep doing the things that give
you joy.

10) God is everything. Everything he says is true. Follow God like a wise person. He should be your direction. God is Faithful.

U're watching a movie, then its
written 35years later, and the
same dog in the compound is
still alive.. just know its
Nollywood!!!!

'Bra' &'Bar' have same
Alphabets, both are Drinking
Zones, both have Restricted time
of Opening &Closing, but wen
Opened, both make Men go
Crazy"

Girls in their 20's have a 5 page
list for the ideal guy... At 40, it
becomes just 5 words "Lord let
him be breathing"

Its only in Nigeria a deaf beggar
can hear "Your money don fall"

Passing gum in class like it's a
drug deal.

I nearly had a party last
night. All I needed was two
more people.

The guy who came up with the
spelling of marijauna must have
been high.

If I get angry , you have to
apologise. If you get angry , I'll
get more angry'-Women

more comment to keep the funny post rolling in

ok. . .this is encouraging. . .more hilarious funny post coming

º I say no to alcohol, it just
doesn't listen.

º A friend in need is a pest
indeed.

º Marriage is one of the chief
causes of divorce.

º Work is fine if it doesn't take
too much of your time.

º When everything comes in
your way you're in the wrong
lane.

º The light at the end of the
tunnel may be an incoming
train..

º Born free, taxed to death.

º Everyone has a photographic
memory, some just don't have
film.

º Smile, it makes people
wonder what you are thinking.


º If you keep your feet firmly on
the ground, you'll have trouble
putting on your pants.

º It's not hard to meet
expenses, they are everywhere.

º I love being a writer... what I
can't stand is the paperwork..

º The guy who invented the
first wheel was an idiot. The guy
who invented the other three,
he was the genius.

º The trouble with being
punctual is that no one is there
to appreciate it.

º In a country of free speech,
why are there phone bills?

º If you cannot change your
mind, are you sure you have
one?

º If you can't convince them,
confuse them.

º It's not the fall that kills you.
It's the sudden stop at the end.

º I couldn't repair your brakes,
so I made your horn louder.

º Hot glass looks same as cold
glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt
Fingers

º The cigarette does the
smoking you are just the sucker.

º Someday is not a day of the
week

º Whenever I find the key to
success, someone changes the
lock.

º The road to success.... Is
always under construction.

º Alcohol doesn't solve any
problems, but if you think again,
neither does Milk.

º In order to get a Loan, you
first need to prove that you
don't need it !!!

More funny facts will be posted, i need comments before i post more funny facts !!!

colored:
also got high on the field. What part of the field were you? Who knows i may have seen you

at the back of the stage.

emmyvet:
I just observe the guy wella! You know most of his songs are hot and are good for party! Lol everybody try hahah I just remember this question way timaya ask, make I go Fans shout nooooo he replied abeg make unah no do me that thing way unah do the other guy hahahaha

lolz..........he was even pleading that they shouldn't sing the 'away' song for him..........i love his performance, he'z d only artist i saw very clear cos he made sure he moved round the front roll

biafrandream:
So why would the state government put up such show without a good security arrangement. People were called together to have fun, not to get hurt. The news of girls being sexually assaulted is disgusting to say the least. I hope they get it right nest time.

Please what was the attendance like?

the security is good but some useless boys are just there to spoil everything.........imagine pushing people from the back and everyone in the front roll falls and the security men begins to pour out their anger on the innocent........there was this time the useless failed cult guys started up a fight with the bouncers o tryna claim they are also strong maybe that was when they almost got my guy injured.........only one person got injured sha buh its cool..........enugu road block is dope

colored:
It was cool just that a lot of violence went on within the crowd. Had to leave my seat to avoid getting injured. Later relaxed at the fields, took a quick nap there. Went back into the audience to catch yemi, davido, pato, timaya and terry g live! Smoked weed, got fucking high, ate indomie and egg, suya, a cup of ice cream and a bottle of yoghurt. Left the audience when phyno got on stage and left the square when flavor as well got on stage to perform. Phyno sucked!

my guy when phyno was on stage i was at the field getting high..........the guy sucks i wonder what people see and like in him,

emmyvet:
It was fun, but the security plans was bad.

They started by first of all putting sits on the regular stand(which was all broken).
I pity some females who were sexually abused and Some guys who were injured in the process of making a way for our artists to drive in.

Seriously coal city no dey carry last talented youths who started the show even the 13year old girl who won 30k + scholarship from KCEE...

But like seriously Davido is the man of the night(for my mind) oo.

davido ke........d guy barely came down from the stage na...........to me i feel its terry g and timaya that performed well.......then yemi alade live concert was awesome.

Hi everyone, the road block yesterday was exclusive and it was fun though i hated the way the security men where flogging people even me .

i had alot of fun and saw the many great celebrities yemi alade, pato ranking, zoro, davido, kc, flavor, phyno, dunka-mighty, timaya, mr raw e.t.c.........

My experience was also awesome, when i got there with a friend that was around 8pm we mixed the spirit(wink) we bought with the coke we bought and i was already becoming tipsy. I went back to my friends place at esbs and later came back by 10pm and after moving around for a while i decided to go to the back of the stage and i luckily got a space at d front but not on the vip section o.

And the show began i had fun cos i was seeing the stage very clearly but all this obiagu, abakpa and emene boys where making my stay there a living hell, i lost my watch, i was sweating and my cloth was soaked with my sweat and i almost fainted so i ran for my dear life. And when it wa time for timaya. Yemi alade and flavour to perform i went back to that death trap again just to see their faces clearly

That's my experience.........feel free to share urs

Would have love to share pictures but i didn't snap. So sowie

Any idiot can ramble on about in conversation and bore the bejesus out of their companions, and it is a legitimate fear for many that this embarrassing turn of events may happen to them at some point. We've all been there, stuck in conversation, trying to dig out of it by throwing everything we can think of out there. The best advice, however, is to simply find an interesting way to broach everyday questions. Here are 11 such questions.

1. Tell me about the most interesting person you've ever met.
Be careful with this though, as it tends to put your conversation partner on the spot, or make them feel uncomfortable. Try to bring this up as
casually as possible.

2. If you could take a week and travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
This question is a fun way to both converse and fantasize at the same time. Your conversation partner will likely enjoy this question as it lets them escape their life for a brief time.

3. What is the one truly defining moment of your life so far?
This question offers your partner a chance to reflect on their triumphs and share their moments of glory with you.

4. What is the most spontaneous thing you've done lately?
Try to avoid asking this question if your partner seems in no way spontaneous. But chances are, if your conversation partner is spontaneous, they will be glad to share their latest adventure with you.

5. Who has influenced you the most?
This question offers your conversation partner an opportunity to share with you the person that has meant the most to them in their life. This makes for a very interesting topic in conversation.

6. What is the one thing you most want to do?
Though similar to question #2, the crucial difference is that your conversation partner's answer won't be restricted to places to travel to, thus helping expand the discussion.

7. What is your best inherited quality?
This is a great question to use to ask about someone's familyin a unique and specific way.

8. Name your favorite thinker.
Most interesting people will have a favorite thinker or two, someone whose work they look to for inspiration. The conversation will lead to a deep topic people value.

9. Who is your favorite historical figure?
This is a fun (and usually harmless) way to discuss contentious topics, and is a great way to reveal your conversation partner's interest in academic matters. Effective conversation skillsbalances seriousness and fun.

10. Have you been to any good musical performances lately?
This is a much better question than "what type of music do you like" because most people respond "a little of everything." The answer to this question requires specifics, and also opens up questions about the performance.

11. What type of vacation do you prefer? Are you a relaxer or an explorer?
This is one of those questions that does double duty, as it both encourages your partner to fantasize about a dream vacation, but also reveals what type of personality they have.

ENUGU IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

First of, i'll like to welcome everyone to this thrend...........i want to share my school life experience with all of us.

Ok let's start from here......waking up from my stressful sleep after killing so many guilty and innocent mosquitoes passing their own jeje, i dream of what am gonna eat even before waking up, and finally the heat wakes me up and squeezing my face and admiring my crush every morning(ceiling), i say my prayers and then use my eyes to study my food stuffs that is by the corner and after 39mins of pondering on what and what am going to eat i get up to cook what every average confused nigerian will cook 'RICE'.

And finally am done with the cooking and all set to eat my breakfast, then suddenly i heard a knock on my door, me: who be that, them: na we, me: who be una, them: na us open door jor, u think say we no dey observe you as u dey cook ni, me: ('swearing for them in my mind') how many una be abeg, them: we be three, i then open the door and they came in. Oboy this your food dey smell nice one of the boys said as i was busy putting the food for them.

After the glorious meal it was time for lectures and i got prepared and zoomed off, at school now i meet with my friends and we copy assignments from each other, most times you just get lazy at home. Few hours gone and it was time to go home and we all departed on getting home i hailed my guys and joins in the afternoon gist also sometimes known as gossip.

Much information from the gist and am already hunger, i went into my room and lye on d bed, admiring my ceiling again and wondering what to eat. Suddenly something good(or evil) came into my mind, jc(meaning-jesus christ) was cooking and he was among the boys that ate my rice in the morning, i quickly ran to him lo and behold he was preparing egusi soup. Whao oboy you too dey cook soup( i began to tease him) when the food go ready na make i run go buy fufu, jc: buy two fufu if u know say u wan chop, me: ok o na your turn to shine.

Sun was setting and it was time for my night meal, i didn't ponder much on what am gonna eat cos i have a sexy noodles by my bed side staring at me..........so i summoned jc and duke to escort me so i can get eggs and drink for my noodles, finally it was nightfall

godofwar666:
There was a day I ate Suya in the evening so when I woke up, I was awake around 1am so I went to d toilet to urinate so d colour of my urine was red my thought was kidney problem but thank God n goggle so I checked it online n I later found out that its the suya that I ate last night that makes my urine turned red...

my brother you have to be careful with the things you eat.

Those lush and refreshing watermelon slices are surely a delight except when it comes to those tiny seeds right? Watermelon seeds are viewed as a hindrance while gobbling up on this sweet fruit. People often struggle to get these seeds out before eating or simple just spit them out while eating it. But have you ever considered eating watermelon seeds?

Watermelon seeds are not only 100 per cent consumable but they are actually very nutritious too. They are rich in potassium, iron, vitamins and fibre. Chew them well before swallowing them to reap all their nutritional content.Health benefits of watermelon seeds

*.Watermelon seeds contains amino acids like arginine and lysine that cannot be produced by the body on its own. Lysine helps in calcium absorption and collagen formation in the body. Arginine on the other hand improves metabolism and aids cardiovascular and s*xual health.

*.Watermelon seeds also contain lycopene which helps improve male fertility.

*.They are also a good source of B vitamins which aids the nervous system and boosts immune response.

*.Watermelon seeds are also good for people recovering after an illness.
However, be careful about how much you consume at a time as these watermelon seeds are calorie dense. For the same reason they make for a perfect snack to fuel you before a rigorous workout

mrlaw93:
Be right back.. in case of front page.

LoLz

Everyone knows that normal, human urine is yellow in color, but many have often wondered what it means when the liquid they are expelling is a completely different color.
Discoloration, murkiness and even blood can cause panic and alarm at the thought that there is something physically wrong with your body. If you’re curious about what you can learn just by looking at your urine, then read on.

What is Normal Urine Supposed to Look Like?
The normal color of urine can range from a translucent yellow to amber. It is a sterile liquid that is expelled from the body and is a product of cellular metabolism. The appearance of your urine can be affected by certain foods you eat, beverages you drink and diseases that you may be afflicted by. The yellow to amber color that normal urine has is due to a pigment called urochrome. When your urine is darker (amber), this usually is a sign you aren’t getting enough fluids. If your urine is on the darker spectrum of what it should normally look like, there’s typically no cause for alarm. All you need to do is get more fluids in your body, preferably water.

Why is My Urine Clear?
Typically, the clearer your urine is, the healthier you should be. Light yellow to clear colored urine is a sign that your body is properly hydrated, and is typical of those who regularly drink water. However, clear urine can also appear in those who are taking in too much water, and may be dangerously close to overhydration, or water intoxication. An increase in urination, especially clear urine, without adequate water intake can be a sign of diabetes.

Some may often wonder why their urine turns clear after excessively drinking alcohol. The amount of liquids your body took in is one reason for increased urination, but the other reason is alcohol is a diuretic, which means it increases the rate you have to pee. Because alcohol forces an increase in urination, your body is required to extract water from other organs since you’re peeing all that water down the drain, along with other important electrolytes in your body. This is why too much alcohol makes you sick and leaves you with a bad headache.

Abnormal Urine Colors
Sometimes your urine will take a dive completely off the light yellow to amber gold color chart. If this is the case, here are several possible urine colors you might be seeing and what they mean:

Green or blue urine: this is typically caused by something you ingested. Certain foods and beverages and medications have the ability to make your urine these colors, especially if they contain a blue dye. Asparagus has not only been known to make your urine appear greener, it can also affect your urine’s odor.

Red or pink urine: certain foods that are naturally red can cause these color changes in your urine. Laxatives and some prescription drugs can also be the cause of red urine. In some cases, blood in your urine stream can be a sign of a medical condition like an enlarged prostate, bladder stones or even kidney cancer.

Murky urine: this can be a sign of a urinary tract infection (UTI) or kidney stones. For men, semen left in the urinary tract can also cause urine to be cloudy or murky.

Orange urine: blackberries, beets, rhubarb and certain medications with dyes can cause this. Medical issues that can cause orange urine include jaundice and dehydration.

Foamy urine: this doesn’t affect the color or your urine. Instead, it accompanies urine at certain times, which may be cause for alarm. Excessive foam in your urine is typically a sign of ingesting too much protein.

Seeking Medical Attention
Often times, a drastic change in urine color is caused by something you ingested. Take note of any color changes, and record when and how often they occur. If you can rule out food or medication as possible causes for your change in urine color, you should contact your physician. Also think about any other possible symptoms you may be experiencing that are related to a major health issue:

Are you urinating more frequently than usual?
Is urination painful for you?
Are you having trouble urinating? Has urinating become more infrequent than usual?
Are you urinating only small amounts at a time?
Do you wake up frequently at night to urinate?
Are you producing more urine than usual?
Are you leaking or dribbling urine uncontrollably?

While it is best not to panic at the first signs of abnormal urine color, you should not ignore it either. Consult a physician to ensure you aren’t suffering from something serious. If a change in urine color is accompanied by any of the above symptoms, notify your doctor immediately.

Xtaceeey:
Nice...

1st, d sound from the mosque woke u up, den ur neibor's music.. Meaning he had light and u don't?

How come EDC jst gav u guys light after 3days den?

Well its none of my business tho

and what if you have a lousy neighbour? U didn't consider this things.

Waking up to the not so pleasant sounds emanating from a nearby mosque, struggling to overcome the voice in my head telling me to lay for a few more minutes. After about two minutes of battling with myself it turned out that I had succumbed to this voice. Well I actually didn’t know I gave in to this voice, at least not until I was awakened by another sound. It wasn’t the mosque now, it was my gangster neighbour who was blasting Rick Ross’ ‘Blowing Money Fast’ through his powerful home theater appliance. This he does as a daily ritual and thanks to him I have memorized the lyrics to the song word for word including the ablibs.

This time I stared straight at my wall clock which had its hour indicator firmly placed on eight (. What tha f%@#!! I have a job interview by 9 am.
I quickly dashed into the bathroom to carry out the usual clean up which included brushing my dental cavities, bathing and making use of the greatest thinking seat ever made by man, the toilet.

I completed this routine in less than 30 minutes and dashed into my room to get dressed. So I put on my neatly starched and ironed shirt and my chinos pants whose ghettos were sharper than double edged swords. I also put on my socks, shoes and my already knot tie. All these were done in the twinkle of an eye. At this point I felt like the cartoon superhero Flash.

Ready to move out, I picked up my phone and my portfolio and then stepped out of my door only to remember that I had forgotten to put on my wrist watch. So I hurriedly ran into my house like a hungry tiger chasing its prey, picked up my watch and while putting it on I got confused. The time on my watch was 7:40 unlike my wall clock which read 8:40 at that moment. I thus decided to consult my mobile device to confirm this. Lo and behold my phone was in agreement with my wrist watch; that means I have been hurrying up for nothing. What I felt at this time was a mixture of relief and self disappointment.
Cheer up I told my self, this means I have close to an hour more to spend at home before heading out. I then walked to the kitchen, opened the cupboard and brought out two big packs of noodles which had an inscription that best suited my situation “hungry man”.
As an expert chef which I claim to be, it took me just about 15 minutes and my noodles was ready.

Headed back to my room, bowl of noodles in one hand, a fork and a sachet of water in the other; I said a short quiet prayer and boom!! I pounced on the bowl of noodles. Halfway into the meal the electricity distribution company decided to supply us power for the first time in 3 days. Everywhere was rather quiet due to the fact that all the children had left for school, well almost all excluding the ‘perpetual late-comers’ so there was little or nobody to scream the ceremonial ‘UP NEPA’.
Time check, I still had about 30 minutes to spend at home before moving out; So I put on my hunch-backed television set and as I scrolled through the various t.v stations all I saw was news, political discussions, and more news.

I guess this was a bad idea after all so I turned it off, finished my meal and off I went 15 minutes before my planned departure time.
Trekking the short distance from my house to the bustop I couldn’t help but keep praying that an ongoing vehicle do not spray me some of the muddy water contained in the crevices of the dilapidated road.

Finally I got to the bustop and after a little bargaining with the bus conductor I hopped into the front seat which happens to be my favorite seat in public buses so as to prevent stains and squeezes on my shirt.
In less than 3 minutes the bus was full and we took off. The bus driver then turned on his traditional Calabar music which caused an uproar as majority of the passengers were in opposition to this. After a few exchange of abuses between both parties, the driver finally turned it off and the rest of the journey was travelled in peace.

As impossible as it felt, I reached my destination within 15 minutes instead of the 30 minutes I mapped out. This leaves me arriving 25 minutes before time; every firm loves a punctual employee don’t they?
I alighted the vehicle and crossed to the other side of the road then stepped into the company’s premises with faith hoping that today would be my lucky day.

https://rotherapper./2014/01/15/the-typical-monday-morning-of-a-job-hunter/

DON'T QUOTE ME SHA

efobiugochukwu:
st. Charles borromeo hospital onitsha, anambra state.

hmmmm

efobiugochukwu:
Am dead.
.
.
I work in the mortuary.

which of the mortuary and state?

Welcome all, i have been on nairaland for a long time now and its just so funny i don't even know or seen anyone that's on nairaland in physical, so this thrend is for us to know our locations and probably get to meet............am in enugu, a stdnt of enugu state uni of science and technology.........WHAT BOUT YOU?

DON'T SHA QUOTE ME

iammo6:
arrant jargons...not my business tho

eyah........kpele

iammo6:
pls there should be moderacy in everything that we do...i do these things before until i realize it doesnt speak well of me. Do you also sag when ever you where suit of Agbada

my brother yes o............u knw there are some people that sagging is just perfect on.........am one of them.

That's your own view.........as for me i sag alot and i don't expose my boxer and don't look irresponsible and even all the things you mentioned above.........sagging is part of me cos the same way u can't imagine yourself sagging is the same way i can't imagine myself wearing my trouser to my waist........and FYI do not bring your opinion as a STANDARD one cos not everybdy is comfortable with their trouser on their waist e.g me, and i really see nothing wrong with sagging except for those guys that do sag and make it look very obvious........oshey.