₦airaland Forum

Sissie: If a man wants to remarry if the woman cleans for Africa some men will still remarry.

i agree.

cleaning is no guarantee a man will not look outside, hence, as with everything else, a woman's actions should not primarily be geared towards what she'll gain from it, but sometimes just because its the right thing to do.

maclatunji: with the different stories that one comes across and mentality that some young women have these days, it is better to maintain your sanity than enter a miserable marriage.

yes, its true people are scary [and neither does nl help matters with the different worst case scenarios they churn out each day], however, there's actually no action a human takes in this life which does not come with risks and worse case scenarios.

for example, logging on the internet alone comes with all kinds of risks, yet people still do it.


etc etc.


but i do see your point. Do you have a "checklist" of your preferences in a woman and are you scanning to see which women meet those requirements? And are you open to the possibility some of the women might not agree they should be on your list, in which case, what's your plan in such an event- would you bounce back [keep looking for someone] or withdraw totally from women.

i'm saying, like all those extreme examples of crazy(?) women breaking guitar on some guy's head or slapping him for proposing to her, would you advise those guys to try again or ignore women totally from then on. Bear in mind those are extreme examples however, most women wouldnt resort to such, they'd just say no in a less dramatic manner. What if they do so in an embarrassing way? What would be your reaction?

When the right time comes, you will know but it is advisable not to be blind when making the decision.

i agree.

do you have a particular date for "the right time", or do you feel it should be left to chance.

deols: What I like is the fact that everyone here can have an opinion. This is how you see it. Let me explain myself better.

If a woman cannot cook!!!

I expect this to have been discussed by the couple before marriage. If the husband agrees to do the cooking, good for them.

If he would not and she would not, they will work a way out for themselves- to eat from eateries or get a cook.

If they would not want that, they should not have to marry each other because it will pose a big problem for them.

if the woman made herself clear on what she would not/can not do and he marries her with the thought that he would just make her do it as a husband, the head,they would have problems. That is what I mean by them having no business marrying each other.

There is a possibility that she would find a man who would not mind doing the cooking. She should be left to marry the one that is best for her personality and not conned into a problematic union. Same goes for the man..

the woman can learn how to cook.

what if they both cant cook and the man does not want to eat outside all the time? Does that mean they shouldnt marry?

and how will the children be eating if the woman refuses to cook? Say the child is at the stage where you have to be giving it mashed banana, boiled carrot, spinach, etc.

If the woman is too busy to cook, thats a totally different matter from deciding to "fi ebi p'oko" in the name of she doesnt want to cook.

deols: If the wife does not like house chores, the husband should do them. and if none of them would, they should get a maid.

If they cannot afford a maid still, they have no business getting married.

let me rephrase

if the wife is too busy or too tired to do the house chores, she should let the husband know she needs assistance.

if he can help, he should, especially if she's taking care of a baby/small kids. And possibly working at the same time.

in nigeria, most people would get a housemaid or relative to help in this area.



but, its not ok to command him to do the housework, i dont know if its done overseas but i never heard the like in nigeria.

and a reason such as "if the wife does not like house chores", is no reason at all. Most people do not like house chores, but they have to be done regardless if someone likes them or not. Unless you want the whole world in your business and looking down their judgemental noses at you?

will address the responses to the questions i asked, although the thread is currently on other issues.

deols: All of these are necessary only she can not. If she is interested in learning, the matter should not have gotten here. It is more like she stopped doing it. But how do we know why?

Because the husband is making life unbearable for her and she had to run for her life without waiting first to keep the house clean?

do we know if she got a job that now takes too much of her time? do we know if they she spends the money on the house while husband expects her to do room service still?..

Do we even know if Mr. Husband was just a talkative divulging the lies he thought of so he could get a pity party?

who knows?

yes, its issues like these which often lead to bigger relationship matters like divorce and the like.

the proverb i quoted earlier (ile oko, ile ekoo), actually applies to both man and woman, imo, since it did not specifically say its for the woman alone.

this is why people should not just enter relationships thinking marriage is about lovey dovey stuff, if you only see the "good and attractive" side of someone [ie the "public" side], how will you be able to cope with the everyday stuff when he or she isnt at their best for the camera?

Do we even know if Mr. Husband was just a talkative divulging the lies he thought of so he could get a pity party?

as per the above, i personally fear the unbridled mouth types of people, unfortunately thats the norm these days. Everything is considered fodder for public consumption, so its something people have to learn to handle.

does the op have a maid?

Duh.


They all are.

Why are they posing like models.

They want girls to start chasing them abi.

Dem for wear agbada or some such.

As per cooking, i think this has been discussed elsewhere on the forum.

There are cooking schools, youtube videos, etc to help out with that.

Even white ladies and non nigerians are cooking nigerian foods ( which they have never seen before prior to marriage), with the help of the internet.


And of course, hiring a cook is also an option if both parties are tired and stressed out, and have the money.

Too much emphasis is being placed on words such as " like" and "wont", imo.

They are being used in the context of "unable to" and "cant".

If the house is dirty (mind you, that isnt something which is unchangeable like a mountain), then the pressing problem is it needs to be cleaned, and the couple have to figure out a way to make it so.

I guess the real issue here is procrastination, because those chores WILL eventually have to get done sooner or later.


Yorubas say ile oko ile eko ni, so learning as a process does not stop once you get married?

Topic


If a guy has to borrow condom to have sex, shows the girl is a booty call.

If thats what she wants to be, then kudos to her.

Swaggot00: huh??

Her post was clear enough, what dont you understand about it?

Or why do you disagree.

I dont get your question, why would he tell his dad to quit?

If he's too embarassed then he's the one who should start looking for another job elsewhere.

Or am i missing something?

@ deols

just curious- you opened this thread a while back, were you single at the time?

if not, have you met anyone who fills the requirements you listed at the beginning of the thread.

if yes, are you in a relationship with the person.

if no, why not? ie what is your reason.

what do you think about meeting people online, would meeting someone on or offline affect your receptiveness towards the person's being interested in a relationship with you, assuming you're still single.

her music is top of the line, really, even though her lyrics might be sensitizing somewhat.


but the quality of her work cant be disputed.



have you watched mean?

interesting visuals.

love story is her best song though, followed by never getting back together.

walcolm: @zoelife

i think you didnt 'get' the film HITCH,

Smith was not the bad boy in that film-if you watch the film to the end, you will know that( pay attention to the couple's therapy/dating scene, the date/trip to staten island scenes etc).
Smith was actually the good guy who 'gets' it while his friend albert was a good guy who didnt get it.

a classic example of a bad guy in the film was the wall street guy Smith met at a restaurant who had been playing the lady friend of the film's leading lady (i forget her name right now).

its been a while since i watched the movie but i think the op meant will smith was the "bad guy" in the sense of being the "cool" guy who knew all the moves and how to get women (even though he was proved wrong until he eventually got it right, by accident).

you know, all the "bad means good" lingo and the rest of the jazz.

a classic example of a bad guy in the film was the wall street guy Smith met at a restaurant who had been playing the lady friend of the film's leading lady (i forget her name right now).

true, although i dont remember this part.

[quote author=maxwello.yg]Yes, you are the only one. For now tho'.

Other lovers are yet to come. See ya la'er mate.[/quote]Sounds like you dont like her music, hope you dont have too many exes?

Topic

She's currently the top selling female artist i should think.

I knew you were trouble is another good one.

daisyella: Love is an understatement, shez d best. But @op I must say I'm surprised, with those kinda threads u open in d romance section, u don't seem 2 b d Taylor swift's music kinda person

True.

You be ogongo?

The thread is to discuss who gets hornier, not for people to actually get h.orny.

He's in his middle thirties, i should think, and has never mentioned a wife since 2005 when he started nl.

Has never mentioned a girlfriend sef, talkless wife.

And yes, people have been asking long before now.

So, stop lying, this person.

The only thing i'm getting from this thread is quite a lot of male nlers feel being male = handsome.

Maybe she's one of his wives?

maclatunji: I am taking my time with this marriage thing abeg.

Does this type of statement have an Islamic backing?

Whats your reason for "taking your time with this marriage thing", just curious.

No, there isnt.

"we" meaning . . . . . . . .

has he married yet?

@ topic.


since 2005 when he started nairaland or mobilenigeria, and like half a million females later, he still didnt see anyone to marry?


just asking.

Symphony007: better pray the tea party don't take over congress in 2014. All this citizenship by birth on u.s soil will stop.

wow, why are you scaring nigerians like this.

please start looking for who to marry?