₦airaland Forum

onila: Like I said before they are sure a blessing to our great country Nigeria

Yoruba men are the only men that are willing to date any Nigerian woman regardless of her tribe

U will see yoruba guys abroad dating calabar, igbo, urhobo, and other small tribes

this gives us and other minority tribes options

they practice one Nigeria, up yoruba Niggaz!!

God will continue to bless you handsome, sweet, educated yoruba men

the educated Yoruba man

Onila 2013. .copyright

if not for their mums, who didnt raise them to be close minded and nasty, we wouldnt be seeing this type of post.

Decryptor: yeah...they are. As a result of the jazz which the yoruba guys gave them. Abi the second name for yoruba no be jazz?

you'd be surprised no jazz is involved, the jazz might actually be needed more for their fellow yoruba girls (who can prove stubborn when toasted), than elsewhere, where the ladies swoon at the sight of a yoruba man.

i guess their yoruba mums should also share some of the compliments for raising hotcakes who are in high demand.

so you mean. . . . . . .

When Little Is A Lot

Matthew 14

15 And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.

16 But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.

17 And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.

18 He said, Bring them hither to me.

19 And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.

20 And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.

21 And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.

the main message here is found in verse 10:

and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed and brake, and gave the loaves

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

niv

when we give thanks to God for the little we have, it becomes a lot.

so, instead of complaining, its better to praise, from whence comes multiplication of the minimal blessings we thought we had.

learn to be thankful even if you want and need more.

.

should have discussed this before you jumped into bed with yourselves?

deols: I am not blaming religion for the problem. But probably because our discussion on here is religion based, happenings have to be interpreted in relation to it.

There are many factors actually. Religion can not be excused though. If you have heard local Imams preaching on marriage, they always emphasise the role of the wife leaving out that of the husband. They even add those not in the qur'an and form stories about women who got into paradise because of the ridiculous ways they treated their husbands right.

so an average Muslim in Southwest is getting married with the thought that the one to carry out his dirty laundry is on the way. When she is incapable of that, she is bad. Do you ever wonder why wedding ceremonies take place close to ramadan? they even commonly use the statement, 'so the wife can come cook for him in ramadan'.

Poverty and illiteracy or pseudo education are other factors.

well, it IS a man's world, the only way a woman can get some little leeway is if she pulls some economic clout that can compete with the men.


nigerian or african men in particular, would see little wrong in those ideas.



as per ramadan cooking, though, why is that an issue? Where should the man eat during ramadan?

not being sarcastic, I'm asking because i dont know.

do you mean general cooking for many people, or the husband alone.

new world order.

molly2013: God save my country Naija

amen, amen, amen ,amen ,amen,amen.

Jesus have mercy.

ijebu and igbo are like white and rice or bread and butter.

ijebus are very igbo-friendly and vice versa.

forget all the nairaland misinformation.

deols,

to tell the truth, if not for the religion factor (no offence), muslim men who are enlightened, make very good husbands UNTIL (see below).

like i said, i dont know many muslim/muslim couples, the "muslim" couples i know, are mainly mixed (ie muslim/christian), so maybe i do not have a clear picture, but to the best of my knowledge, such unions are usually very ok UNTIL the muslim partner decides he wants to get more religious.

thats why many christian families in nigeria, do not give their consent for their daughters to have muslim suitors, its due to this fact, which no doubt most likely isnt news to you.

so, you probably know your men better than i do, but speaking from a general perspective, i rarely hear of rancour in the unions i know of (christian couples actually have more issues than them), until the above happens (ie the man gets extremely religious, etc etc). If the woman is in it for the short term, maybe it wont matter, but if not, she may be devastated.

however, there is also a possibility the couples in question, just do not broadcast their disagreements, so people arent aware they have them.

and no doubt, women's status is very low in nigeria, so there will definitely be a lot of mistreatment going on in many marriages, compounded by lack of exposure, other issues, etc etc.

sounds like hometown things,

aka dem send dem send, ie messenger.

you should get close to God for protection.

^gbam.

Its just not like before.

Forza p: Sori,i see no resemblance

Likewise, maybe i dont know how to look at the picture.

We've heard!

Getting so tired of these threads.

I dont know why people cant just come out and state their need to marry, maybe marriage is a no-no where you come from, or marriage is not supported in your culture and you prefer to branch out since your ideals are different from that.

Is there really a need for all these multiple topics, geez.

Just a rant!

Carry on!

^ well, sometimes there are things which you just have to learn how to navigate.

Even friends can get separated after sometime, how much more strangers who are all struggling for scarce resources.

He should either try to build friendships ( good luck with that, in this day and age), or else understudy whatever he says people are doing, then do it better.

Maybe they're working on contract basis.

Topic

If you are outside of your comfort zone, you are likely to be seen as a target, by others who are in a group.

Its very rare to see indians, carribeans, etc being picked on, this is because they take strength in numbers, and you wont find just one of them in a place.

The chinese/asians, try picking on one of them and see what happens to you.

There's nothing i personally hate more than seeing people who should be doing something useful with their lives, sitting on their haunches and thinking spending significant amounts of time hating on others, is a worthwhile activity?

However, its a free world, and everyone should spend their time as they like.

The only thing which is certain, at the end, is each and every one of us has a debt which we cant escape paying.

After that, its up to God to be the judge.

Henry praise: In my opinion, I tink s3x is ova rated especially by women.

You are quite right.

I think somebody said its wrong to affirm.

Imo, to each his or her own, ona kan o woja.

But, most important, involve God in raising your kids.

As long as she's happy, good for her.


most women would probably say the same if they had her kind of money.

deols: But the only reason he did what he did is the thought that he is the alpha who can ask her to do anything. Not doing it means she should be punished. That is my point.

In whatever case that this is being applied, it is simply wrong and not only peculiar to the scenario I spoke about.

Yes, it is wrong, but i'm not necessarily getting what that particular example has to do with the discussion.

Do you expect your future spouse will ask you to do such when you are married?

Or were you simply giving an extreme example of how men can go overboard with demands?


As per your alpha male reference, of course we know that does not apply overseas, or with most marriages today. However, we also have to realize over assertiveness has a different effect on a man than women realize or maybe they just dont care.


I'm actually starting to wonder if that treat men like babies thing is the language of today, i might be out of touch.

maclatunji: Yes, I do have a mental checklist of my preferences in women. Yes, I do keep my eyes open for "opportunities". By that I mean the chance that I might meet or interact with someone who is my type and want to keep her for myself.

ok, here's a rough summary of my views:

i could be wrong, but it seems to me you only allow yourself to be on the lookout, so to speak, for women who are unavailable in some way. Some men do that in order convince themselves they are not single by choice, but rather by circumstance. However, when you look a bit more closely at their "relationship patterns" (using the term relationship very loosely here), what happens is the man is actually the one who is "choosing" ladies he knows will not make it permanent, or will not agree to something more solid.

The actual ladies who are openly available for a relationship and eager/willing to have one with him, he stays emotionally distant from.

once again, i might be reading you wrong?

Yes, you are right. The lady might not really fancy me and as long as she does not attach any unnecessary drama or nastiness to her refusal or rejection, I have no problems with that. I might test her resolve though. I would not withdraw from women, I would just check if there are things about me that I can improve on for the future.

now, if there are things you'd want to improve on for a particular lady who you may or may not date in future, then are you improving things for someone else, or would you still be intent on the same lady or ladies you want to improve for?

still the circular argument i posted above, i think.

Well, it is not like a Muslim is expected to woo 10-20 women before one says yes. Hence, I expect men to only approach women that they expect have a reasonable possibility of saying "Yes" to them. That should limit embarrassments especially if you share the same religion and to a lesser extent social status.

in an ideal world, a man wouldnt approach more than one lady, however, in actual life, women do say no for whatever reason, in which case the man wouldnt limit himself to just one "candidate" when he's ready to settle down, so to speak..

UNLESS its absolutely certain the lady will say yes.


like maybe she is also ready to settle down and has been expecting the question from you, or perhaps a particular guy.

I was embarrassed once by a lady publicly although we really weren't an item. She expected me to have paid more interest in her over our service year because we met and interacted when we were heading out to camp as students of the same school because of safety considerations and distance of travel to an "unknown location". I did not bother her after camp and did not even know where she was posted to. She expressed anger at my nonchalance when we met after collecting our certificates at the terminus exiting that state.

It wasn't funny, everybody was looking at me as if I jilted her or something (we weren't lovers now, only acquaintances). I just laughed and apologised. In such instances I cannot feel ashamed knowing that I did nothing wrong.

the lady was emotionally attached and you were not (see the first part of my post), even though she was single and available for a relationship (i assume). Relationship in the sense of something more than acquaintance and which could lead to marriage.

When I was much younger, I felt it would be great to be married at my current age. That does not look likely and I am not worried about it- man proposes, God disposes and I am sure he knows what is best for me regarding marriage and my life as a whole.

cool.

Very good one, @ op.

Yorubas say ma w'esin elesin sare, which roughly translated means do not run another person's race instead of your own.

Face your own life and make something of it, constantly griping because someone else ' struggle is different from yours, is self destructive behaviour.

deols: The part of your previous question that I ddint answer is what happens when he changes.


well, I dont believe pple just change. I would have been changing as he changes too. or probably he changed cos I did or vice versa.

.

What if he didnt change at all but simply agreed to what you were saying because he was bent on marrying you?


Secondly, if you have a contract stating clear rules on what you'the wife'will not do, and thrn later, you change your mind and decide you will, in fact, do those things, can he refuse those things at that point?

Say he has gotten used to the things in question being done by others, or the servants in the home.

deols: In the case mentioned, She is the FIRSt wife and they have been married for many years. In fact she wasnt involved in the washing because younger wives(one is her husband's and the other another wife in the family) excused her.

My point was not about slavery at all. It just does not make sense that something that should not have to be her duty was a reason to get her beat up.

Even if she was not the first wife, that other wives were doing it doesnt mean she would have to. They would have met the husband under different circumstances and drawn up different contracts, if they were educated enough to draw one.

My other post still applies, imo.

A man who sees nothing wrong in beating up his wife, will do so whenever he feels like it, it doesnt matter what excuse he gives.

So, even if the wife had washed his mother's clothes, he might have found another reason to still beat her up regardless.

^ things like what, just curious.